The coming-of-age trilogy I'm writing is centered around Black family (including good old-fashioned Black love and romance), so maybe that's part of where my feelings these days are coming from. I don't know, but I have to tell you how it depressed me to hear a bit of news from an acqauintance the other day. She lived in Arizona a few years ago & when she heard I was relocating there, she just about made me unpack some bags by telling me that the dating landscape there looks the same as here.
I'm so depressed.
I'm not saying that I have a problem with interracial relationships (I was married to a white man myself at one point). I don't look for anything other than a nice smile, some bedroom eyes, and just a pinch of the bad boy when I'm checking out the men. But. I can't say that it doesn't hurt a little when I see so many brothers looking around me and moving me out the way to get to the lighter, brighter chick with me.
Anyway. I just had to get that little rant out the way. I'm trying to think of how far I'm going to have to travel or what kind of groups I'm going to have to join to find a reasonable dating pool in Arizona. Can't hang out with my brothers, they have white women. Lord. I am in so much trouble here.
Okay, peoples. Start putting up the prayer hands for me again. Free needs some good vibes coming her way for the dating future! I might have to get blunt about the situation and have a t-shirt printed up advertising my status. (I'll try to be more subtle than the lady I saw a while back. Her t-shirt said: "If you're rich, I'm single." Now that's just plain wrong. LOL)
--Free
Words:
"The blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice. Too bad nobody's thirsty."
(Free 3/2006)
Listening to:
"Crazy Love" (Brian McKnight)
"The blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice. Too bad nobody's thirsty."
(Free 3/2006)
Listening to:
"Crazy Love" (Brian McKnight)
Dating
8 comments:
LOL that shirt is wrong.
I know exactly what you are talking about with the brothers trying to get to the lighter brighter skinned chicks. I just moved from a place where all you saw were brothers(not any I ever wanted) arm and arm with white chicks, Mexican chicks, white transvestites, Asians chicks anything but a black woman. I got really down and depressed about it and actually dated one of those brothers and he wasn't worth sh*t.
Not saying all of them are that way but he was one I would tell white women to keep.
Anyway I moved to the city and I couldn't be happier, the brothers here love them some black women, most of them need to learn how to treat a sista but that's a whole different story, anyway good luck and I'll be praying for you to find that perfect one :-)
shenehneh:I might have to get me one of them shirts! Seriously, tho - if AZ turns out to be too dismal, I'm willing to drive across state lines to date! Maybe I need to be where you are. Dang - brothas liking on some sistas... That's my kind of place (We can work together to get them trained! LOL)
LOL,that tshirt is getting straight to the point.Sending my prayer vibes your way an dif all fails dating a white man isn't that bad:)
abeni - Race ain't nothing to me when it comes to love! I always just want to know it's about the love & not the color.
(I'm waiting to see if that t-shirt starts showing up in more places!! LOL)
...I'm about to be leaving a state where it's as rare to see a Black man with a sister as it is to see a cheetah smoking a cigar...
The coming-of-age trilogy I'm writing is centered around Black family (including good old-fashioned Black love and romance), so maybe that's part of where my feelings these days are coming from. I don't know, but I have to tell you how it depressed me to hear a bit of news from an acqauintance the other day. She lived in Arizona a few years ago & when she heard I was relocating there, she just about made me unpack some bags by telling me that the dating landscape there looks the same as here....
Anyway. I just had to get that little rant out the way. I'm trying to think of how far I'm going to have to travel or what kind of groups I'm going to have to join to find a reasonable dating pool in Arizona. Can't hang out with my brothers, they have white women. Lord. I am in so much trouble here.
Wow - Alaska and Arizona sound like the UK!- one of the reasons I left the UK was because I felt the racial situation there was really unhealthy...it sounds like "whiter" regions of the US might have similar issues.
ruminations What's going to blow your mind: I was married to a white British man & lived in Manchester for a while. The marriage didn't last long, but that was my foray into inter-racial love (since there were no Black men available!)... Yeah. We have some problems to be dealt with, friend.
Don't y'all think that when ANY man loves a woman, he just loves that woman? I mean, any kind of man can love a Black woman, right? I would like it if one or all of you can comment on the "difference" between a black man loving a sista and a white man loving that same sista. What's the diff? I've been loved by both and it's just a heady thing to wallow in!! In my experience, there's just been absolutely no difference.
Also, when you get a chance, look up my blog: bfinterracial marriage.blogspot.com
Evia I respect your opinion --and I agree that good love is wonderful regardless of race -- but I do think there is a difference. Until we get past memories of times when there was (and still is racism & its effects on a person's soul), Black men and women share a commonality that adds another dimension to initimate (and platonic) relationships. That commonality is expressed in sometimes small ways. When a lover touches my hair, affectionately calls me "girl" or "baby girl," or when he sees me dealing with the daily assault of society -- that lover's racial identity makes a difference.
Now I see that I might have to do another post!
Thanks for the chance to bat this one around with you, Evia. (BTW - beautiful name.)
Peace
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