Thursday, December 15, 2011

Mama Wasn't Always Nice

I am over here just cracking up laughing because I heard someone use a saying my mother used to use. I don't know if you've ever heard this, and please pardon the language, but when someone got on my mother's nerves by pestering her, she'd tell them that they could worry the stink out of sh*t.

I have no idea how that is done, but I always died laughing when I heard Mama say it. Variations on the saying included: "The hot out of Hell," "Wet out of water" and others that I can't remember right now.

Another of her sayings is one most people might have heard: "I'll slap the taste out of your mouth!" (I had a smart-alecky cousin who would mutter, "How? You didn't put it there." But she would only mutter it! lol) Another warning was one I heard someone else use: "Knock you out til you wake up smart." I think it was a friend's parent or auntie who said that.

Of course, now I am over hear thinking of some of the things Mama would say that would have us laughing - whether we let her hear us laughing or not!

"Drunker than Cooter Brown" was one of the sayings. To this day, we have no idea who Cooter Brown was or even if he was a real person.

"Musty as a goat" was for someone with body odor.

"Looking like Sista Tuttah" was for when you were dressed slouchy or wearing your hair in a way Mama thought was unattractive. We have no idea who Sister Tuttah is.

"Sitting there with your jaws tight" was for when you called yourself mad or upset about something.

"Knock a knot on your behind" was the threat of a whipping. (And, no, it wasn't child abuse when Mama whipped us. We got it with her hand or a switch, and most kids back then got the same & we turned out just fine, thank you.)

"People in Hell want ice water" was for when you were not going to be getting something you asked for.

"Hello walls" was for rude people who walked into a room without speaking. So was, "I didn't sleep with you last night."

"Losing your manners" meant breaking wind. Maybe because you were showing a lack of manners by doing it around people.

When someone was rude enough to stare at you hard, the saying was "Trying to look the clothes off of me."

We kids had one we used for the adults because they could always seem to hear us no matter how quiet we tried to be: "Mama can hear a rat p*ss on cotton."

My mother had trouble with certain words also. She never said "Lion" but "Louns." Her and my father were a good match because he couldn't say the words "Neither" or "Either." He said "Neezer" and "Eezer." Don't ask. I have no idea why. This gene runs in the family because my sister doesn't say "Stickler" for a picky person. She has what I think is a better word: "Stick-u-lar." (Now doesn't that just make more sense for some reason? LOL)

Wow. I am so glad that this is a good day for my thinking and being able to communicate okay. I will have this post to look back on when I am having trouble with my thought processes. I hope you enjoyed it!

Peace
--Free

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