Sometimes people lie to you, but sometimes they tell you the truth. Sometimes either one can be hurtful.
I realize that I use that word a lot: "hurtful." It fits the way I feel so often.
People will tell those little "white" lies to ease a friend's guilt about needing a favor ("Oh, of course I don't mind," or "Anytime, you just ask" and "That's what friends are for"). Sometimes the lies people tell make us feel bad. We're not surprised when a lie ends up hurting us, but when the truth cuts, it cuts deep.
The other day I was saying something about how my Sarc was making me feel. (I'm supposed to keep notes for the doctor, but my memory is bad and I guess I tend to repeat myself.) A couple of my family members asked me to "try not to think about it so much."
Oh, really? Like if I don't think about it, I don't feel bad. Or I suddenly can remember things I've said and not repeat myself?
Their words sounded kind on the surface, but they were just code for "We're tired of hearing it."
That's hurtful because, guess what? I'm tired of having it. I'm tired of knowing that I repeat things. Tired of needing to depend on people to remember things for me so that when I go to my appointments, I don't forget to tell the doctor.
Whatever.
So, I have decided to stop telling them anything. My best friend told me that she will keep notes for me. That's sweet of her, but I'm worried that I will burn her out too. If my own family is tired of me, how can I expect more from my friend?
Actually, I do understand where my family is coming from. It does get tiresome hearing about someone else's problems all the time. I get that. If I am depressed by what I am going through, why would anyone else want to hear about it? So, yeah, I want to be hurt, but I do understand how weary people get of hearing about my "Sarc." I probably talk way too much about my aches and pains. The thing is - ignoring it doesn't make the pain go away, it doesn't make me feel less depressed.
The only thing I can think of is to go ahead and join the support group my social worker told me about. I should have done it when she first mentioned it, but I told her then that I "have a very supportive family." (Okay, yeah, I do feel stupid now, in case you wonder! LOL)
Anyway, if you live in the Anchorage, Alaska area and you need to join any type of support group, contact the Providence Family Medicine Center. The folks there have some groups of their own, but they also have lists of other local groups that meet in support of various issues. If you live elsewhere, contact the hospitals and clinics for information about a group that supports your condition. Look up phone numbers for support groups.
The important thing is: get support. Not everyone is "strong." There is nothing "weak" about needing to express your feelings. Any serious illness or condition is life-changing and can be frightening. Please, reach out and get help to deal with the frustrations. And, by the way, prayer works if you have faith.
Peace
--Free
Support Resources:
- Chronic Illness Meetup Groups (Look up by zip. If none in your area, you can create one.)
- Experience Project (Website with forums, etc. Requires signup.)
- List of U.S. List of health organizations (Extensive list so look for your specific issue!)
- National Mental Health Assoc.
- Suicide Hotline **1-800-273-TALK (8255)**
Also, Catholic Churches tend to have resources or information about many support groups.
God Bless.
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