Saturday, March 08, 2014

On TV Part 1 (My criticisms)

I don't watch TV much. When I do, no one likes watching with me because I am such a critic. Since my family and friends don't want to play, I'll post some of my gripes (and likes) with you guys. (Yeah it's a slow post day for me...)

  • Loved "Burn Notice" but hate how writers went too far to promote only the lead character. Mike, Fiona, Jesse and "Mom" were the best parts of the show. (Can't go wrong with "Cagney". Love Ms. Gless!)I hated the way Jesse was announced as "a spy who lost his way" instead of "a spy Mike burned out of his original career path." Also, I found it irritating that Mike was rarely wrong. The actor is probably a really nice guy, but I found myself doing a lot of eye-rolling at his over-played macho-ism.
  • Still mad that "Leverage" ended. If show writers copy formats so much, I wish they'd continue the tradition with characters from good shows like this one. Though I'd miss Mr. Hutton, I'd love to see that hunky Aldis Hodge and the spunky Beth Riesgraf as a crime-solving duo. Throw in Christian Kane for some deadpan humor and to keep those other two in line. Matter of fact, it would be great to see Hutton work with Gina Bellman again. I wish I had her speaking voice. Sexy heifer.
  • Sebastian Maniscalco's "What's Wrong With People" is one of the few comedy stand-ups that I can watch again, again, again, except I have to rest my abs in between views. I laughed so hard I got laryngitis. Doesn't hurt that Mr. Maniscalco is hot as Sriracha sauce. Nothing like a man with a sense of humor. My favorite part is "Will you look at this shit?" and the teeth-brushing bit. Wish I knew how to make a GIF from Netflix.
  • Hate any kind of soap opera. One exception: "General Hospital" back in the Luke and Laura days. Admitting that makes me cringe for a couple of reasons. One, I just dated myself back to the Jurassic era. Two: Laura fell in love with her rapist. Other than GH though, I only looked at soaps (or as my mom called them, her "stories") long enough to mute and change the channel. Okay, I'm lying. I watched enough bits and pieces of soaps to crush on actors like Ed Freeman, Jr, Michael Easton, Shemar Moore, Steve Burton, Henry Simmons and - the one and only reason I ever left work to watch a soap - Darnell Williams. Wow. I didn't just lie, I created a new version of lying, didn't I? I guess all these guys caught my eye while I was muting the TV...
  • I can't stand any kind of love scene in TV shows. No one ever wakes up afterwards with effed-up hair (even black women with complicated do's), one titty hanging out of that strategically placed sheet, or sleep in their eyes. In real life, no real lady would just crawl out of a marathon sex romp and leave for work without at least a quick trip to the bathroom. That's only unrealistic, it's downright nasty.
  • I'd like to see more shows about people who have real-life problems without the TV-like fixes. Let's see a broke person who doesn't live in a house decorated by Ikea. Better yet, let's see them without a house. I'm still trying to figure out how everybody on "Friends" (which, to be fair, I barely glanced at) was always dressed so great, eating well, and meeting in cafes did all that without being independently wealthy or turning tricks on the side. At least on "Living Single" folks had careers that paid well. I watched that show just to look at Kyle and Max's romance light and burn so hotly. Well, okay - mostly I watched just to look at T.C. Carson, although Max would be my girl crush if I was into chicks.
  • I know that everyone hates it when a show is yanked off air without tying up loose ends. I was so pissed off when "Quantum Leap" went off the air that I didn't realize there was a note that Sam never returned home. Other shows that I loved and never saw the ending of: "Nowhere Man" (I just queued all discs via Netflix), "Dead Like Me" (a favorite) and, "Life".  I loved the show "Pramface", but it went off for so long that, by the time it came back on, I'd lost interest. Because I am a little nutsy, I usually just make up endings to these shows for myself. Sometimes, I re-write show in my head as I am watching them on TV. I'm too lazy to pursue screen-writing and too crazy for any of my ideas to work for a general audience anyway. 
  • Sometimes, I wonder what ever happened to actors I've seen on the screen. For instance, why the hell did Monica Potter never do much after "Along Came a Spider"? (I actually typed "Kiss the Spider" first!) Was it because she looks more like Julia Roberts that Roberts herself? Talk about doppelgangers... And why do people like have such high profile careers when folks like James McAvoy (from the U.K.'s "Shameless") and the hotness that is Callan Mulvey (from Australia's "Underbelly") are not universal superstars? I just have no idea what's up with that. I also have no idea why guys like Jesse L. Martin and Laz Alonso are not on People's "Hottest" or "Most Beautiful" lists. Meanwhile, Adam Levine is Taye Diggs get so much attention I have to gag.
I better stop now. I see that my critique of TV shows is turning into a fantasy wish list instead. Matter of fact, I'm going to have to do another post just about the people I like from TV shows.

Peace
--Free



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