One survey asked about my health and fitness habits. I'm no stone cold couch potato, but I felt like one after I had to answer this question: "How many hours do you exercise in a week?" My answer choices were: 5-10 hours, 10-15 hours, 15-20 hours, more than 20 hours.
I was a little ashamed that, even if I count stretching the truth, there's no way I can cop to 5 hours per week. If I count the time I spend on the Glider and time spent chasing after DJ, plus any random sit-ups I get in before bedtime, I might be able to claim 3 hours. In a good week. Okay, it's really closer to 2, but chasing DJ should get extra points, right?
What I want to know is, who the heck with a real life and normal brain function has 20 hours a week to exercise?
I don't think I've spent a total of 20 hours in my lifetime even thinking about exercising. 20 hours a week is a part time job. Who has 20 hours a week just for exercise? Okay - who other than a celebrity who is paid to look impossibly fit two weeks after giving birth to a couple of kids? In the real world, there are mommies and daddies who don't get 20 hours of sleep in a week.
Another survey wanted to know about my non-food shopping habits. Apparently, most people (or at least the people who write these surveys) have way more disposable income than I do. My self-esteem crawled into a gutter and died a painful death when I realized I buy so few name-brand, top-label, better-known, coupon-resistant items that my razors are made in a country I had to look up on a map to be sure it was a real place.
Probably the funniest survey I ever took was one to do with travel. I gave up halfway through it when I realized that I was tempted to lie about the last time I took a planned vacation. To be strictly honest, I haven't "planned a vacation" in years. I have planned fleeing a crazy spouse. I have planned family emergencies. I have even planned a fake vacation to avoid a person who wrongly assumes we are friends and that I would want him staying with me for a couple of weeks. That time I went to Rome. In my imagination. It was lovely. I plan to go back one day - when those plans involve an actual passport and suitcases.
I think I'm going to have to devise my own surveys, if I want to see questions that are more fitting to my life and lifestyle. Maybe I will post some of them on here one day. Just for kicks.