Monday, January 05, 2009

You Never Know

My mother used to have a saying: "You just never know what people are going through." She'd usually say that after someone commented about someone else acting strange or different than normal.

Let me tell you something: that saying is so true. You just never know what people are going through.

I feel lately as if the weight on my mind and my soul are so heavy that it's almost hard to breathe. I literally sometimes have to concentrate on breathing and moving slow because I just feel like I am about to break. Everything is just too much.

I know that when I get through all this, I'm going to be stronger. I'll be able to understand someone else's burdens better that I could have before.

Right now, I just crave normalcy. A companion and a routine. Soul comfort. I know that as long as I live, there are going to be regular stresses and problems, but I can't take anymore of these bombshell types of problems. My situation feels almost apocalyptic. I keep waiting for someone to tell me that the end is near.

Here's a thought: I'm not the first person to go through a lot of trials and tribulations. I'm not the first or only person right now to be sitting and asking God "Why?" But I just never understood before that it could all happen to me.

For now, I'm just concentrating on not breaking. I literally pray to God to send someone to rescue me, comfort me, tell me it's going to be all right.

So, everybody out there, be praying for me. I need a miracle or two! I need all of the positive thoughts and prayers you can send out on my behalf.