Thursday, April 16, 2009

6 Things Women (I) Want In A Man

Okay. I wasn't gonna do this, but I keep seeing all these tweets (on Twitter) about relationships: What a man needs to do to keep a woman. How a man's behavior affects relationships. Why men misread women. Of course, I see that most of is stuff is coming from men.

How is a MAN going to tell another man what it takes to understand a WOMAN?

If you want to know something about science, you go to a scientist. If you want to understand a recipe, you go to a cook. You want to know about women, damnit, go to a woman. C'mon, people. This is not hard. I just told y'all about the comedian (a woman) who gives some of the best advice ever about relationships... So, as a woman, I am going to tell you men that there are basically 6 things most women need from a man (OK, so this list is about ME, but if any of the sisterhood want to join in, go 'head!):
  1. Pride - Your own, not hers. Not saying that we want an egomaniac, but pride is multi-faceted. It's pride that makes a man dig ditches if that's the best or only job he can find. It's pride that makes a man back down from a losing fight. It's pride that makes a man stick by his woman & his kids when he could do like so many others & just walk away. Pride will let you be a man without being a bully. Pride will let you take charge without taking someone else's dignity. (And, let's face it, women dig men with at least a little swagger!)
  2. Respect - For others. If you respect others, that shows that you respect yourself. Most of all, you should respect your woman, your responsibilities, your vows, your parenthood, your role as a son, as a employee and as a child of God. (Wives, take not: if you don't give him a reason to stay, your man will and should leave.)
  3. The ability to listen - Not just to what your woman says, but to so many of the things that are left unsaid. You should "listen" to her eyes when you might have said or done the wrong thing. You should "listen" to her heart when the life and duty of just being a woman is weighing her down. You should "listen" to her body when it's trying to let you know how she wants and needs to be desired.
  4. The ability to to talk - With more than your mouth. The same as with listening, you need to learn to speak to all the parts of your woman and your relationship with her. You should learn the way she "hears" you so that you both grow together in that special communication that the best lovers have mastered. I have to say that I have never found a man with this ability.
  5. Masculinity - Being tall or well-muscled does not make you truly masculine. For me, the most masculine man is the one who understands what the role of a man in the relationship. I can feel just as safe in skinny arms that won't reach out to hit me as I can in the strong arms of an abuser. I can look "up" to a short man who loves me the best he knows how as well as I can to the tall & handsome man who has no clue what real love is. I'd rather go to sleep at night in a hovel next to a GOOD man than lounge in the finest luxury with a man who is only waiting for the next version of me.
  6. Hope of a future - If you love your woman, be willing to take care of yourself so that you will be around as long as possible. She's not nagging you about eating right and getting enough exercise and rest because she doesn't love you. She's doing it because she does. (If she didn't love you, she'd put some insurance on your ass and buy you the big bags of chips!)
Six things. That's it. Like anything else, if you have the basics, the rest will work itself out.

And, yes - I WILL be doing a post for the ladies.