Now that I am older, I tend to do a lot of reflecting on my life. I think back on things I've done or not done and can see now the results I live with. There are good things and bad things, but what I notice most are the results of unanswered prayers.
When I was young, I, like so many, hoped for shallow things: more money, better looks and popularity. I wanted to "grow up" to be well known and well liked. I had dreams of being a famous author. Of course, I had the fantasies about the very handsome husband, the large and amazing home, fabulous clothes and cars... Those were things that almost everyone I knew wanted.
These days, even though my finances and health are both in a fragile state, I have to just thank God that He didn't answer my greedy prayers! I don't know where I would be spiritually if I'd gotten all that I wanted. I don't think I would have grown in my faith and I'm pretty sure I would not be as thankful for what I do have.
When I look at people who did get what they wished for, I imagine that that's only a good life for the young who will live to make it out. But not all the young ones who do live that life make it out.
Had my prayers been answered, I might have had the material things while missing out on the grace of the Lord. So, when I reflect on what could have been, I have to think of Psalms 139, especially verses 13 through16. He has known me and is with me through it all.
Those things I longed for and didn't get are just reminders of eternity. I would not trade my salvation for any of the comforts or luxury this world has to offer, though that's tempting sometimes. I have to remind myself that this world is not my home. I don't want to get too comfortable because my time here isn't promised from breath to breath. While I am here, I am praying for my family and friends - for everyone - to accept the Lord and hold out until we do get Home.
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