Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Crazy Beautiful

My Aunt Johnnie just sent an email with some of the most amazing pics. I have to ask myself why I am so phobic about all these breathtakingly beautiful things, but you all already know I'm a little bit crazy.


Oh, MY gosh! In spite of that huge pool (of water, people!), I covet this house shamelessly. Of course, I'd need a Valium before I went out on one of those sky-high decks, but... LOL! (Am I wrong, though? Is this not just sheer gorgeousness?)

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When I call this "breath-taking," I'm serious as I can be. I love this picture. If I could, I'd have a huge, framed print of this one. (But all that water... Gives me screaming daymares to think about being within ten feet of it!)
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Beautiful, right? Yeah, but I'd have to close my eyes and sing "Farmer In The Dell" to survive a drive over it. I figure there's got to be a hotel nearby where I could have a good, safe view...
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Okay. Here's the deal with me and horses: They are huge and have those big teeth. I hear they can stomp the shit out of you if you get on their bad side. (I will check and see if I ever posted about what happened to me at one of the pony ride setups in the parking lot of a Safeway...) But - good mercy, this is one majestic animal.
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Hope you enjoyed the pics. I sure did. (I have got to learn to do the reverse search thing so that I can give due photo credit.)

Peace
--Free

Getting, Being And Staying Real

One of the things I am re-learning as I try writing a book is what I first learned when I started blogging: it's hard not to edit out your real self.

We all do a little photoshopping of ourselves everyday. It's a routine, like brushing your teeth, shaving or putting on makeup. I believe every one of us has parts of ourselves that we are afraid to expose. (For the smart asses out there, I am not talking about physical exposure.)

I try to be brave here on the blog. I'm really trying to be brave with the essays I am writing for the book. Some of what is so painful, embarrassing and humiliating for one of us can be helpful for someone else. Maybe they can learn that you can survive almost anything. Maybe they can learn that some things just don't matter after all.

One of the things I have talked about (but probably not deeply or seriously enough) is the verbal and mental abuse I survived in a marriage. That's a hard one. Maybe when I finish surviving it, it will be easier to talk about.  The thing about that situation is that the damage one person does to us cannot be altogether undone by ourselves; we need a little of the healing to come from outside ourselves. I'm getting there.

There are a lot of topics that are tough to address with a straight face. A lot of us would rather make jokes, be hurtful or be as outrageous and shocking as we can imagine. As vulgar and "open" as some people (musicians, artists, actors) want to be, what a lot of them are doing is not really useful to anyone outside themselves. I think it's easier for someone to sing about giving out "the best p_ _ _ y" around (and, yes, that's really in a song) than it is to talk about what's real about love. I think it's easy for someone to cut their hair weird or dress in meat clothing (WTH is that  about) or perform an exorcism as part of a stage show. What's hard is to talk about why we hurt people who are different than we are.

Sometimes there is a meanness that comes with covering up what we feel. I've been mean to hide being vulnerable or confused. (Just go back to some of my older postings.) What I wish is that, in some of those instances, another person would have just confronted me.

I forget where the hell I was going with this post. (I'm going to blame the Sarc, like I always do!) Mainly, I guess I was just thinking about how we need to be kinder and more loving to other people. I might not be tolerant of everything, but I need to look deeper at myself before I condemn anyone else. That's going to take learning to be real and stay real - about me, my feelings, my flaws, my needs and my whole self.

Peace
--Free