Monday, March 10, 2014

Spine-free Moments

  • When a comedian makes a really funny joke about something and you realize it sort of describes you, but you laugh along as if they must be talking about someone else. Outwardly, you're laughing harder than anyone else. Inside, you're reminding yourself to find a treatment center for whatever goofy thing it is you're laughing about. I mean, if a comedian is making jokes about it, that shit must be serious. Dude.
  • When someone does something extremely rude or ignorant to someone else and you slink off as if nothing happened. The thing is, you just know that you appreciate being stood up for when you're being bullied and you'd find new names to describe any coward who left you to the mercy of such rudeness.
  • When a "friend" blurts out in front of others a confidence you shared privately and you just shrug it off. In your head you come up with a whole speech about the vow you'll be taking to never tell such a blabbermouth anything ever again. You even make mental lists on the spot about what you won't share with them again. Ever. (Those lists are so detailed that you need colons and semi-colons to sort them.)
  • When someone is talking, talking, talking to you and you damn near bust a gut instead of interrupting them to go to the bathroom. Notice that these chatterboxes are usually the same people who will rudely interrupt your part of a serious conversation to point out some minor distraction that means nothing to either of you.
  • When you let someone monopolize valuable time because you don't want to interrupt their meaningless rant about that rash on their ass. Or whatever. (Though I usually want to know if I'm in the presence of someone with a rash on their ass, just in case that shit is airborne and contagious.)
  • When caught in a lie, instead of being mature enough to admit and apologize, you go into elaborate details with other lies to cover up or excuse the first one. (It's even worse when your cover lies are so creative that you want to go home and write short stories about them.)
  • When you really like someone but they get a big head about it so you pretend you can't stand the very stink of their presence. What's worse is when you figure out that they liked you too but they are just as shy and insecure as you are. Too bad. Two silly dumbasses would probably make a great couple. Or... not? Never mind. (Did I really type 'the very stink of their presence'???)
  • When you take an unpopular stance about something, but only in your head, and don't speak up when the issue is being discussed. Maybe you're afraid of the beating your belief will take. Take the hits and speak up. If you don't your soul will take the beating for you.
  • When your friend is in the wrong, but you stand silent while he/she sits on their pity-pot about it. It's even worse when they sit on their throne and beat everyone else over the head with their scepter.
Damn. My spine is in a snit just from me writing that list. I don't know why making good choices is easier in our heads. My goal is to live making better choices instead of:
  • Money over Matter. 
  • Feelings over Sense. 
  • Lust over Love. 
  • Around over Through.
  • Winning over Fair.
  • Payback over Forgiveness.
  • Right over Compassion.
  • Looks over Beauty.
  • Easy over Struggle.
  • Cheating over Learning.
  • Wrong over Right.
  • Cookies over Salad.
Okay, that last one was just... Well, actually, that one's true too!