Thursday, July 24, 2014

"Nice" People and Their Dirty Deeds

What is the worst thing you have ever done to someone? Steal from them, cheat, lie on them?

The worst habit I practice
The one I hate most

The worse thing I have done to someone is to make them feel insignificant. It was a long time ago and, thank God, I learned how damaging that action can be.

I know lots of nice, wonderful (and, in some cases, Christian) people. I know folks who would feed a stranger with the last crumb in their pantry. Unfortunately, some of these people do horrible things every day, many times a day. The sad thing is, most of them probably never think about the dirty deeds they do.

Most of the best things I know about being a decent person are ones I learned from my mother. I'm better at some of these things than I am at others, but I am a work in progress. One of my less attractive habits (that I still cling to with a little bit of selfish relish) is calling people out on this blog. Sorry, but this is my rooftop and I'll shout if I want to!

A lot of us need to be called out every now and then. Like Carly Simon sings in"You're So Vain", some of you might think this song is about you.If so, then just do better or stay miserable. So, in my best Jeff Foxworthy voice (if not his humor), I present:

You Might be a Dirty Deeder...
  • You talk, talk, talk, but never listen, listen,  listen
  • You are annoying in the same was ways that others annoy you
  • You've forgotten how to say "Please" and "Thank you"
  • You think that being bossy makes you a boss
  • You never think of anyone but yourself (and it shows)
  • You take people for granted
  • You have a "God" complex - your universe, your rules
  • (God will deal with that one)
  • You mistake your faults for strengths
  • You're only good to people when you get credit for it
  • You mistake being a control freak for being in control
  • You forgot everything your elders taught you about being decent

Do you know people like this? Do you have friends like this? If you are young, you might as well know that you'll likely meet a lot of people who practice dirty deeds. This article could be helpful.

It happens
I've been on the giving and receiving end of careless unpleasantness. Once upon a time, if dirty deeds were a band, I'd have been the lead singer. These days, I'm just an occasional groupie. What helps me is feeling that my mother is watching me from Heaven and shaking her head when I go on the road. Mostly, I try hard to make her proud.

And make sure you don't choke
As a (mostly) reformed member of Dirty Deeds, I am forming a self-help group. Not really, but I have some advice that I know my mother would approve of. Matter of fact, I learned this from her as well:
  • Don't say you care. Care.
  • Try to hear yourself with the ears of the person you are talking to.
  • Know who you are dealing with and adjust your approach accordingly.
  • Learn to bite your tongue. It's a metaphor and won't really hurt so much.
  • Interact with and speak to your elders in the way you will want your children to mimic.
My mother wasn't big on words. She didn't often say that she loved me, but she was the queen of actions. Even so, I didn't realize what was truest about my mother's good heart until I saw this

Don't know who he is, but I like this thought