New Site O' Mine

I can't believe I didn't mention it here (or maybe I did & in my recent state of craziness, I don't remember), but I have yet another site.

The new site is called Trudy's Tracks & it's nothing but links. I created it because the most popular posts I did on this site was one filled with links for writers. When I created BLinks, I didn't get the same kind of response & I figured it's because the links got lost in the posts I would do. So. I created the new site with very little posting and just a ton of links under various categories. Of course, the biggest set of links are for writers and researchers (since that is still my main love), but I included a bunch of stuff for other interests.

There are links for doing cool stuff with your PC (like tweaking some functions or getting free protection), shopping (so far, a lot of cosmetics, but a bunch of bargain sites and some tech sites too), some of my fave blogs, and lots of other stuff, including networking sites for us "older" folks.

The site is turning out to be a lot of fun for me. I get to share links of all the various places I seem to run across all the time and, of course, I am forcing myself to discover things that I might not have otherwise. One of the more interesting categories I worked on was for the networking sites. Like a lot of people in my age group, I knew about the Facebook/MySpace sites, but I was surprised to find that there are similar sites geared to different interests. I found sites for Baby Boomers and people looking to hook into family... Oh! And I added some genealogical sites. That was another favorite category.

Right now I am working on transferring some of the sites listed on BLinks over to Tracks. Eventually, I will be deleting the BLinks blog. Let's face it, I have way more blogs than I have time to deal with them! And it's not like I get a bunch of traffic on them. I figure if I concentrate on the content of one or two blogs, I will get more response because of the better content. Makes sense, right? Right!

Anyway, try to get over and take a look. Probably I need to change the headings of some categories, but I'll get to that later. For now, just browse through and check some out at random.

Peace
--Free

Alone-ness

I thought that marriage was going to mean never feeling alone. You know - even at the worst of times, financial, emotional, worry, joy, tears, laughter - all that would be shared. I thought that being married meant having someone who understood you better than anyone had since you were a child & your mother could tell your mood just by glancing at you. I thought that I would feel somehow more complete.

I don't think I have ever felt more alone than since I got married.

When I was single, I never really felt alone. I guess because I realized I was single & didn't have the expectations of a married woman. I had friends and family and my writing - and that was all I counted on. But to count on another person only to be disappointed... I guess that's what the saying "You don't miss what you never had" means - except in my case it would be, "You don't miss what you never hoped for."

Now, these days, I often contemplate leaving my marriage so that I can be more fulfilled. Or at least have a reason for feeling lonely.

Wow.

But I am trying to hold on just a little bit longer. Mostly because I take my marriage vows so seriously, but partly because I am afraid of leaving just when things might actually get good & marriage might just become what I had hoped.

Isn't the mind a funny thing?

Peace
--Free

Rescued on Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day almost sucked, but then a friend sent a poem written just for me.

Self-esteem is such a huge part of human survival. Lately, my feelings of worth have taken such a beating that I sometimes can't remember how joyful I used to be; how beautiful I used to feel. So I am very grateful that there is at least one person out there who cared today.

Thank you (& you know who you are).

Peace
--Free

I Can't Stop Myself

I've gone and done it again. I have another - yes, ANOTHER - blog.

I wanted to improve on my concept of offering useful links. My BLinks blog wasn't feeling right to me. Now I have Trudy's Tracks (and, yes, I know I need to improve on the name; I'll keep working on that. In the meantime, tho, I am really pleased with the content.

Check it out HERE and then let me know if you have suggestions for more links or categories.

I believe that fellow writers and researchers are going to like the new blog.

Peace
--Free

Christian Bale Needs to Get a Grip (No matter what Whoopi says)

Apparently, Joy Behar has more common sense than Whoopi on ths subject of Christian Bale. The ladies discussed that maniac's rant & Whoopi had this to say: “If I have to jump out of character to tell you something you should know?” Goldberg later continued. “You’re in a zone and it’s crazy.”

Yeah, it's crazy all right because it's just a movie!

You can try to defend Bale all you want, Whoopi, but he's still a jerk. And if you think what he did was okay, then you're buying into a whole selfish argument that being an artist comes before being human. When anyone behaves the way Bale did, what they are saying is, "I am so important that I can disregard being mature or decent or in control of my temper. I am important, damnit."

In a zone, my a**. He's in a fog of his own ego dust.  He should try getting out of his zone and realizing that his "zone" doesn't over-ride anyone else's zone.

Whoopi, Bale acted like a jerk. You are being silly when you try to defend his behavior by calling him an "artist." Like artists cannot be expected to behave decently. And you have the nerve to talk about being "professional"... C'mon, that's such a joke. What Bale should do is put himself into the shoes of the guy he went off on. What if that guy had things going on in his life (and not just his "art") that Bale didn't know about? What if when Bale's rant came on a bad day for this guy and made him feel more depressed or despaired or worthless than he may already have been feeling?

I don't know about you guys out there, but I've had days where a smile or decent word from someone (even a stranger) is the only thing that kept me going for a while longer. I've also had days where I was really feeling good only to have a Bale-like jerk be rude and ruin my sunshine.

Here's what I want to know: does Bale just have anger and control issues? I think I remember hearing about his bad temper from other incidents. Hmmm... Maybe he was just being a professional then too - no, wait, the last time I heard about him going off, it had to do with his family. Want to explain that one, Whoopi?

Christian Bale Needs to Get a Grip

What a jerk.

I just listened (over at Perez Hilton's site) to Bale's tirade. Man, this guy makes so much money to do something that he supposedly likes doing, but he has to act like that big of a jerk when something pisses him off? He couldn't just be pissed off and done with it? He has to rant and rave and be that self-important over a scene in a movie? It's a freakin' movie, jerk - not a cancer research project, not a world-hunger-solving problem, not anything but a damn MOVIE.

If you want to put your anger where it counts, take it to Congress and argue for better healthcare. Stand in line with a homeless person who is trying to get a life together away from the streets. Stand up to someone JUST LIKE YOU who may be acting rudely to some LIKE THE GUY YOU WENT OFF ON.

Get the hell over yourself and just be thankful that all you have to be pissed about is someone "ruining" your scene. At least you don't have to be worried about where your next meal is coming from, or how to pay your kid's doctor bills, or ... Well, you don't have anything THAT life-important to worry about. Guess that's why you have energy to bust an artery over a scene in your movie & yet you lack the guts to do something more useful with yourself...

Agh!!!

Where the police wrong? Should this woman be compensated?

There is a local story in the news here about what happened to a woman back in 2004.

This lady was out shopping in a mall with her son. There was a robbery at a bank in the same mall. The police showed up looking for a female suspect of a certain description (a heavyset African-American female in her 30s wearing a dark blue shirt, dark sunglasses, a black headband or bandana, tennis shoes and carrying a dark bag). The police detained the female shopper (45 at the time, was smaller and wearing a white, nylon jogging suit with a light blue shirt underneath. She was carrying a purse and a white Sears bag, and was with a child) - cuffed her, searched her, refused to let her son use her phone to contact his father.

This all happened in view of one of the busiest roads in town. People gawked, there was news footage, and a couple driving by recognized the woman being detained as someone from their church.

Eventually, the police determined that the woman they had detained was not the suspect. They released her. No apology.

The woman later sued. She lost (well, she won a part of her suit and was awarded $1) and now owes court costs and attorneys' fees of over $45,000. The judge thinks the lawsuit was frivolous. The jury was an all white jury.

By the way, here is how the news describes the innocent female shopper: 

• Anchorage businesswoman and mother of two
• She and her family were immersed in a church conference in the days leading up to the incident. 
• She was at the mall shopping for something to wear to a church banquet
  

And her husband was, at the time all this happened, on active military duty (the police found the female's military ID).

The real robber was found later that evening, dressed as she had been described, hanging out in a seedier area of our town.

So, what do you think?

Peace
--Free

Funny, Funny

Okay. So many of us have been having a crappy, depressing week that I thought it was time for a giggle or two or...Well, just to have a laugh. I found some funnies to share.

One-liners:

• Someday, we'll look back on this nervously and change the subject... (courtesy of Hilarious Quotes- as is the next line...)
  
• I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
• On the keyboard of life always keep one finger on the Escape key (link here)

Bumper Stickers:

• Never give yourself a haircut after 3 margaritas
• Who lit the fuse on your tampon? (Bit o' fun)
• If you're going to ride my ass, at least pull my hair & make me scream
• If you're not a hemorrhoid, get off my ass
• Eat Right, Exercise, Die anyway
• Damned if I do, Damned if I don't...so, damnit, I will!
• Horn broken - watch for finger

If you hate your job sometimes:

• I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead
• Difference between the Pope & your boss: The Pope only expects you to kiss his ring
• Work: it isn't just for sleeping anymore
• The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts
• If at first you don't succeed, try management

Just cute & funny:

• Take my advice, I don't use it anyway
• Even crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it
• It's not how you pick your nose, but where you put the booger

Confucious Say: (Thanks again to Bit Of Fun!)

• Crowded elevator smells different to midget
• Virginity like bubble - one prick, all gone!
• Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails
• Man who drive like hell bound to get there
• Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it

Why...? (Bit Of Fun)

• ...Is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid with real lemons?
• ...Don't psychics ever win the lottery?
• ...Do we drive on "parkways" and park on "driveways?"
• ...Do we choose 2 people to run for President & 50 for Miss America?
• ...If "love is blind," why is lingerie so popular?
• ...Do you press harder on the remote control when you know the battery is dead?

And, even though I know it's wrong...
Yo Mama Jokes:

Your mama is so ugly...

• ...When she joined an ugly contest, they told her "Sorry, no professionals."
• ...When she tried to take a bath, the water jumped out 

 Your mama is so old...

• ...Her social security number is "1"
• ...When she was in school, there was no History class
• ...Her birth certificate is expired
• ...She knew Burger King when he was a Prince

And, okay! That's enough of a giggle for the day. I feel a little bit better - how about you?

Peace
--Free

Undiscovered Yahoo...

I learned something about Yahoo completely by accident today.

My husband - who HATES using a computer - actually got himself an email account. Well, actually a young guy he knows set the account up for him. Tim wanted me to send him a pic of myself (get ya minds out the gutta, folks!) and since he never can access the ones I send to his phone, we decided to try the PC this time.

ANYway... when I got the email address from the guy who set the account up, it was a "Ymail" account. I was like, "What the hell is ymail???"

Ymail is Yahoo's apparent answer to Google's Gmail.

Now, I've been trying to tell you peoples about the beauty, simplicity and mostly-spam-free wonders of Gmail, but y'all are just hard-headed. I don't think one of my friends or family signed up for a Gmail account since I mentioned it. I heard excuses like, "I'm used to my **fill in name here** email account." Or: "I don't want to deal with all the signing-up hassle"... Yeah, yeah, yeah... Whatev...

Well, I guess the folks over at Yahoo were paying attention to the folks like me who LOVE Gmail because they decided to do something similiar-sounding, similiar-looking, and (though it remains to be seen) similar-acting to Gmail. They did start with the biggie that Gmail had going for it: Unlimited storage...

Ta-daaaa!!! We have Ymail.

The deal is, Ymail is Yahoo Mail, except instead of being whoever-ever@yahoo.com, a user would be whoever-ever@ymail.com.

Also, when you do get a Ymail account, you have to sign in with the whole shebang (whoever-ever@ymail.com) instead of just being able to use the whoever-ever user ID like with old Yahoo mail. That's a little tedious if you share a PC or for other reasons have to sign out and back into your email often. (Not so bad for a user who can stay signed in.)

Now, a nice little perk is that when you DO sign up for a Ymail account, you get the options to do something I never noticed with Yahoo mail where you can "Connect" with people you select via your Profile. (As far as I know, with old Yahoo, this was mainly done via Yahoo 360 - which I hate because of the inability to delete page...)

What I like about the connections/profile thingie on Ymail is that you can share (with the folks of your choosing) such things as your presence on the web in various circles: Twitter, Blogger, Picasa etc. For instance, since some of you lazy-assed boogers don't check this blog often enough, you can now see it on my Ymail Connections page (that is, IF you bother to connect!) I like that you can limit who looks at what. You do these little invites or just open up your page to "anybody."

Once I signed up for the Ymail account and "updated" connections, profile, info, etc, I signed back into my old Yahoo email to see that the Ymail changes/functionalities had transferred over. In other words, I was able to do the "connect/update" thingie from my old account also. Interesting (and kinda fun!)

It doesn't stop there. I guess when you sign up for Yahoo now (as a new user or as someone just adding another ID), you have a choice of selecting which of 3 Yahoo domains to use: Yahoo, Ymail, or Rocketmail. **shrug** (I'ma leave Rocketmail alone for now!)

So. My man - in a roundabout, accidental way - led me to something new on the World Wide Web.

Peace
--Free

Just So Sad

I wasn't going  to blog today, but this just made me so sad.

• How is it that no one was checking up on a 93 year old man? How lonely he must have been to have no one close enough to care at least that much.
  
• How is it that an electric company can turn off (oh, excuse me - "limit") power IN THE WINTER, in a place known for cold temps. How can they do that without more of a process to ensure things like this don't happen?
• How is it that (if & when the employee went out to attach the "limiter" device to the home) that employee didn't check on the old guy? Maybe if he'd done a courtesy chat, he'd have realized the guy's age and factored that into the decision for limiting power (or passed the info on to someone in charge).
  
• How is it that we have come to this kind of tragedy?
• Will it even make a difference? Will people who have elderly neighbors now check on them more often? Or offer assistance? Share some time and a meal with the old people? Or maybe refer helping agencies, churches or other caring individuals to that person who may be in need?

Lord, Jesus, when is the misery going to end? I guess it has ended for one elderly person, but how sad that life ended that way for someone who must have survived so much else. This old guy made it past 90 years. Now he can't share anything of what he learned with anyone else. Now he can't pass along wisdom and knowledge or just observations about life. Now he can't remind anyone of a time (if there ever was one) when his tragedy just would not have been allowed.

This is the United States of America. We are human beings.

I'm just so sad right now.

Peace
--Free

Three Spottings In Blogosphere

No real post today. I'm writing (yay!!!). But I cruised around and this is what caught my eye:

Ridiculous


Interesting & a little scary


Cute

Peace
--Free

I Don't Disagree With Bill Cosby, But...

I watched a clip from the Rachel Maddow Show where she talks about the possible influence the "Huxtable Effect" had on the election of Barack Obama. The idea is that becuase Cosby presented this fictional family on television that the American public was better able 20-some years later to accept a black man as a leader. I guess this has to do with social trends influencing people's perceptions.

Ms. Maddow interviewed Mr. Cosby and his collaborator Dr. Poussaint. I admire both of these men a lot for what they have achieved and for the fact that they are trying to reach out and educate others. And I agree with them (to an extent) about education and conformity to positive social norms being important to success.

But.

Here's the thing: not everyone, whether from a "normal" home (that is, with two decent parents) or not, is college material. Not everyone is going to be able to fit in with the current standards and offerings of higher education. Some people would be better suited to recieve affordable and viable training in a trade or business. (And I know that it's been said that a basic college education is absolutely required to compete in our "global market." I don't now if I agree with that. There will always be jobs that people can be trained -outside a 4-year college - to do. I think that there will always be labor jobs. If not, then it's not just going to be a problem for non-college educated folks; it's going to be a problem for whichever groups of people who fall short of the very top percentage of any kind of education.)

Let's say that you are a good worker in your field of choice. Let's say that you would be perfectly happy and productive if you could just work your average job, pay your average bills - nothing out of reach - and, if you wanted, be able to send your children on to higher education (if that's what they are suited for). What's wrong with that?

Well, what's wrong with that - or has always been - is that, if you are black (or any other kind of social minority), you were often not even allowed that. Because in most organizations, those in a position to offer those jobs were so many times white people who didn't have your job security as a priority over other white people. Or - even worse - sometimes black people in higher positions were just as much your on-the-job enemy as a white person. (These black people probably feel like you should have gone to college like they wanted to and did.)

It's all about the way people feel. Someone sees a white person who is content to toil away for years at a low- or middle-level job is seeing someone "hardworking," and "reliable," They say that people like that are the "backbone" of America. But if you see a black person in the same position, you hear things about their lack of "ambition," lack of education. Again - it's all about the way people feel. We all tend to base our actions on our feelings.

If you stop and think about it, you will probably come to realize that there are a lot of people who don't yearn for a big office to work in, business cards with a nice title printed on, or the ability to talk expense accounts and corporate travel. There are a lot of people who don't care to have a large or expensive home, the latest and greatest automobile. There are a lot of people who would just like to work, feed themselves and their family, have reliable transportation, be able to go to a doctor when needed, come home, enjoy their family time, and go to sleep at night knowing that life as they know it is fairly secure. There are a lot of people who don't sit around thinking about how to live off the government without working.

See, so many people don't want anything but to have a place in life and in their society. What's that old saying? About happiness being "something to do, something to love and something to hope for?" Well, we don't all aim to do grand things or love the same people as others, and we don't all hope for the biggest and brightest. Some of us have simpler joys and hopes.

I guess I'm on a rant because whenever one group or another talk about success, they talk about it only from their perspective.

So, Mr. Cosby, I never went to college, but I (and so many other who are currently in despair) would be a success if you and the rest of society appreciated my definition. You and I are not that different in our core beliefs about human nature and responsibility. I don't have out-of-wedlock children. I worked everyday on a job that I was good at. I paid my bills and didn't live "above my means." When my nieces needed to be cared for (with no help from the State or Government), my sister, mother and I took care of them. We didn't do it because of anything other than the fact that this is what family meant to us. When my mother got sick, my sister and I took care of her (and, by the way, so did those nieces - because it's what they learned at home). When times got tough, we tightened up and stuck together. We didn't steal, lie or cheat. We didn't ask the government for any undue help - unless my mother's SSI and other benefites of the elderly, like home weatherization counts.

And you know what happened when my employer was bought out by another company? Even though I was a good worker (the better of two in my position if you looked at performance reviews and other accounts), I was the one demoted down. The other worker, a white male - who had iffy reviews at times and much less positive feedback from co-workers - was kept on in the same position and even promoted soon after.

So maybe when we talk about "bettering" ourselves, we need to address bettering the society we live in. If it helps to make the point about our society, let me tell you something interesting: I got sick a few weeks ago. Being single, child-less and uninsured, I could not afford health care. One agency I called for help explained to me that if I had a dependent child or if I was receiving "benefits" (translation: "welfare benefits"), I would be eligible for some kinds of programs to help pay for a clinic/doctor visit. 

You can make certain arguments for certain people. You can always say that some people are lazy, immoral or criminal or that they simply lack a sense of conformity to polite society. But what do you say about the rest of us? What is offered for the rest of us? I never thought it should happen that having children out of wedlock or collecting welfare would be to my advantage when I needed help to see a doctor. But maybe that's just me.

Peace
--Free

Thank You, Jesus!

After I watched this video today, I just had to take a moment and stop to thank my Lord Jesus. I had to ask His forgiveness for my recent self-pity and despair. I asked God to give me in MY circumstances just a little bit of the faithfulness and joy that this beautiful man has in HIS circumstances.

Voices From Slavery

I do love YouTube. As a writer/researcher, I have found more information YT than almost anywhere else.

This video is interesting (wish I'd taken Fountain's advice!):





Peace
--Free

Spelman's Oral History Project

On this extrordinarily notable day of history, I wanted to mention something that's being done to record history.

Check this out:




Peace
--Free

Very Interesting Film...

I watched the most interesting film tonight: The Lazarus Phenomenon. It starts out with information about Near Death Experiences, then goes into the story of a Nigerian man who was dead for three days before coming back to life again. There is also an account of another man's experience, but the first story was the most compelling to me.

I found the film on more than one site - some loading and playing better than others - and here is the link to the Google video version. The best-playing one is found here as Part 1 and Part 2 - the only problem being the small screen size making it difficult to read captions clarifying what the Nigerian speakers are saying.

I came across the film while looking for Christian films to view online. I have seen a lot of the more common Christian videos so I was surprised that I had never heard of the Lazarus film. It's a pretty amazing story & the main effect that it had on me personally was to make me realize that I need to be more forgiving of people who have hurt or offended me. You will understand this when you watch the film for yourself.

In case you are interested in seeing more Christian films, TBN has some on their site that you can watch and/or download. Also, check out Premier TV - "Christian TV On Demand." Let me know if you find others online.

Peace
--Free

The End Is...Close???

I was raised inthe "Holiness" church (yes, people called us "Holy Rollers!"). I believe that the Holy Bible is the Word of God. And right now, I'm beginning to believe that we are living in the last days and times spoken of in the Bible.

The Bible talks about "wars and rumors of wars," and the newspapers talk of wars and rumors of wars. The Bible talks of people being "without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good," and we can look at the world around us and see the evidence more and more everyday. In Matthew, we learn that one of the signs of the nearing endtimes will be famines - just like in all of history, but more so. We read in the news about millions of starving people. We are told that knowledge will increase. Everyday, the scientists and wizards of business and technology come out with something new. As soon as one technology comes out, somehow it is being improved. The Bible tells us that the gospel will be spread all over the world. I don't even have to pull out my printed Bible to look up passages - I just pull up chapters and verses right on my PC.

*** and, yes, it's interesting that the famine link I used is from a "globalization" site***

I also believe that Israel plays a huge part of prophecy. What's going on in the Middle East right now? Well, what isn't going on there?  Israel is a part of God's heart and there are people who hate the nation.

So. I am sitting here, observing the turmoil in society, politics, the weather... And I'm thinking of something my mother used to say: "God is trying to talk to us." We're not listening.

And the biggest sign of all (at least, in the way I've always thought of it)? When people start cryinng out, "Peace" when there will be no peace.

I do believe we are living in the "end times" and I just pray for all of us.

Peace
--Free

Alaska Living Today

Well, I may not want to be here after over 30 years, but I can't say life in Anchorage is boring. (Okay, yes, I CAN say that because it often is, but...)

Woke up this morning to the news that schools are closed because of the icy roads. That almost NEVER happens here. It is Alaska, after all - all we've got for most of the year is icy roads. So you know it has to be a nice mess for things to shut down.

We had days and days and days of below zero temps. When it warmed up yesterday to around 18 degrees, we damn near celebrated with patio parties... Then at some point, the temps shot up to the high 20's. THEN... freezing rain.

So, yeah, I guess the roads are bound to be a little bit icy. I'm hearing news updates about certain roads being shut completely down. One of my nieces - who has problems with her nerves when driving on SNOW - is talking about taking a taxi to work. My sister is missing dialysis this morning because she can't transfer from her wheelchair to the SUV and we don't want to risk getting in a wreck in the car we use. Such a mess.

I hate this damn place.

And even better (or worse), for the lucky souls who would be eligible for those famous Permanent Fund Dividends - well, turns out that the Fund is bleeding money. Rumors yesterday were that there may be no payout to the citizens this year. Doesn't bother me. I screwed up my eligibility by moving. Now, I was bothered as hell about this when those high-paying checks came out last time. I was so depressed then that I couldn't bear going into WalMart and Costco, watching people throwing that money around when I could have been paying off bills with it!

So, life in Alaska today...sucks. Sucks, blows chunks, stinks like a sulfur wind, and just plain makes me bitter. Couldn't even write a decent post!

Peace
--Free

Silly Love Songs

"You'd think that people would have had enough of silly love songs. But I look around me and I see it isn't so. Some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs. And what's wrong with that? I'd like to know, cause here I go again..."

Oh, how I love Paul McCartney. You knew the man had a special love with Linda - how else could he have written such wonderful lyrics?

Anyway, like Mr. McCartney says, here I go again. I've got a whole playlist of love songs (well, mostly) on my songza:

In The Deep - Bird York
Everything Is Everything - Lauryn Hill
Before I Let Go - Frankie Beverly & Maze
No One Else On Earth - Wynona Judd
She's His Only Need - Wynona Judd
Beast of Burden - Rolling Stones
God Only Knows - Beach Boys
Wait for Me - Hall & Oates
Sarah Smile - Hall & Oates
Fire & Rain - James Taylor
Turn Your Lights Down Low - Lauryn Hill
It's You That I Need - Enchantment
Chasing Pavements - Adele
So Into You - Fabolous & Tamia
I Love You Too Much - Frankie & Maze
Do You Wanna Dance - Bette Midler

So, while I'm listening to this music, the thought hit me that the performers are all such different people, but they all have the heart in common. I hope they all end up in heaven with me so that I can get a concert!

In case you're interested (or just nosy!), I think this link will let you subscribe to my songza feed.

Peace
--Free

Happy Birthday, Mom!

I can't believe it's been 8 years since you went Home. I still miss you so much everyday.

You've got new great-grandchildren - and another one on the way! Amanda got married and had the cutest kid ever (she's bad as year-old milk, but you would adore her) and has another one due in about 7 months.

Ant's little boy is a stone mess. Just like seeing Ant as a kid all over again. And his big sis is so shy and quiet that I just know you'd be telling her to "quit acting like somebody's going to bite!"

Tierra is about to graduate high school and will be going on to college (kid's got almost a 4.0 gpa!) - and, just think of the time we didn't think she would make it because of her shaky start at birth...

JP and Gab are doing well. They have careers and plans that you would be so proud of. Like all the kids here, they talk about their "Grammy" all the time. They remember the love and the "whippings" and the wisdom.

Gwennie is still so much YOUR Gwennie. Sassy, spunky thing. Because of you, Mom, your grandkids got such a good start in common sense that it will last them a lifetime.

Even the "babies" remember you. The infants you held on your lap... they all talk about their Grammy.

My friend was going through some problems the other day & as I talked to her, I could hear your words coming out of my mouth. She remembers and misses you too. We all do, Mom.

There have been days when I didn't think I was going to make it through & I had to hold on to all the things you taught me about going through trials and tribulations. I had to remember that you didn't have it easy, but that you always made the best out of any situation. I had to remember that you always found a reason to praise God and keep on keeping on.

So, we're all hanging in there. Maybe not all living the way you'd like, but we are still here. Somehow, no matter how often or how badly we mess up, things that you taught us bring us back. I am always so thankful to be a person who can say, "My Mama raised me right!" :-)

We just all miss you & love you so much. Happy birthday, Mom.

Peace
--Free