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Friday, February 20, 2009

Thankful

A while back I heard the story of 2 traveling angels. They stayed one night with a poor but nice family who were having a lot of troubles & spent another night with a wealthier and not-so-nice family who also had troubles. The junior angel was puzzled that the senior angel helped the wealthy family and not the poor family. The senior angel explained that things are not always as they seem and the poor family turned out in the end being blessed most of all. I don't really remember the story better than that, but I did get the lesson. Sometimes we should realize that the very things that annoy us are really blessings. My niece Gwennie sent me an email with the following that illustrates that very nicely:

I am thankful for the wife
who says it's hot dogs tonight,
because she is home with me
& not out with someone else

For the husband
who is on the sofa being a couch potato,
because he is home with me
& not out at the bars

For the teenager
who is complaining about doing dishes,
because it means she is at home
& not on the streets

For the taxes
I pay,
because it means I am employed

For the mess
to clean after a party,
because it means I have
been surrounded by friends

For the clothes
that fit a little too snug,
because it means
I have enough to eat

For my shadow
that watches me work,
because it means
I am out in the sunshine

For a lawn
that needs mowing,
windows that need cleaning,
& gutters that need fixing,
because it means
I have a home

For all the complaining
I hear about the government,
because it means
we have freedom of speech

For the parking spot
I find at the far end of the parking lot,
because it means
I am capable of walking
& I have been blessed with transportation

For my huge heating bill,
because it means
I am warm

For the lady
behind me in church
who sings off key,
because it means I can hear

For the weariness & aching muscles
at the end of the day,
because it means
I have been capable of working hard

For the alarm
that goes off in the early morning hours,
because it means I am alive

And
I am thankful
for the crazy people
I work with,
because they make working interesting & fun!

And, finally,
for too much email,
because it means
I have friends who are thinking of me


P.S.: I even like the tags at the bottom of the email. One reads: "Live well, laugh often & love with all of your heart!" The other reads: "Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is SERIOUS!" (I may have to take one of these as my blog motto!)

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Genevieve (she's a dog, people!) & Gizmo (he a dog, too)

My niece has had her shitzhu, Gizmo, for a few years. He's a character, truly. He is the only dog I know that 1) "talks" back (he does this little bark/yowl thing when you are fussing at him) and, 2) can sit straight up on his butt for the longest time (this is usually when he is trying to beg you out of something). He's a little piece of my heart.
 
Gizmo has been an only pet for all this time, so when Gabby - my niece - got another shitzhu, Gizmo was wary - but he's trying to be nice:




Giz is the bigger, lighter-colored pup. Genna is the little brat acting like she doesn't want Giz sharing HIS bed with HER...

Genevieve (Genna, for shorts) is also a character. For one thing, she looks really sweet and timid - but she's NOT. The first time Gabby brought her over, she looked so lost and helpless (you know, getting used to the big fam and the other dogs and a cat) that you just thought, "Awwwww..." Yeah. Until one of the dogs tried to take away her treat.

You do not want to tick off this little doggie. But she is a cutie:

 
  
  
See what I mean? "Awwwwww..."


Anyway, Gabs has been going through all the minor adjustments of having a second dog in her home. Genna and Giz have their jealousy issues, they compete for Gab's attention and the toys, etc. Genna is pretty opinionated & if you think a dog can't be opinionated, you will understand when you see this pic Gab sent me the other day. She had just bathed Genna and the subject of the email the pic came with said it all: "She's pissed":


I love it.

Poor Gabby.

Showmanship vs Salvation

I saw this over at C&D and I thought it was going to be a little bit humorous. Shame on me.

I'm not sure how I feel about this "sermon." I mean, there is a message and their seems to be a lot of sincerity, but... Does it really take all that? I grew up going to the Holiness church, so I'm used to the style of preaching, but when they rolled that casket out... and then when he made his "re-entrance," all I could wonder was, was he preaching to reach people for Christ, or was he just showing out? (Imagine the conversations later when people are talking about how he "Sure did preach today!")

Lately, I've been through some major stuggles and changes in my life. I have been crying out to God and literally putting my face to the floor in prayer. When I see this over-the-top kind of theatrical preaching, I'm thinking that's not what people need in these tough times. People need a pastor who is touching them in a way that matters to their situation. If I'd been sitting in that congregation, I'd probably have wanted him to stop all that carrying on and just put his hand on my head in prayer. Or preach about getting through trials. All that acting out that he did would have probably sent my nerves right over the last edge. We have to start getting real here, folks, times are really rough and souls are in pain - even Christian souls - and if I want a show, I can go to a movie. Church is for faith and strength and encouragement to hold out in this race we are in.

I know that some of you are going to think I'm being too critical, and maybe I am. I just don't know how this one makes me feel. Take a look for yourself.



Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Lotta Laughs

I am just such a glutton for punishment. I had an old defunct blog (actually, I never posted anything on it!) and I deleted it today. Could I leave well enough alone? Nooooo, not your girl. So, I replaced it with a new one. This makes, what? My second new blog in a week?? Yeah.

Anyway, the new blog is Lotta Laughs. Because I always find something hilarious when I am darting all over the web. Lord knows, in these rough times, we can all use more laughter. So. Skip over and check out the new spot. I found a new fave blog to visit: Cake Wrecks (you'll love these guys) and I put in a nod or two at a couple of blogs that poke fun at celebs.

Please enjoy. Oh, and check out a site called Feedjit. I love that they feature blogs regionally. I found some gems over there today.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Words By Maya, Lesson By Life

I do so love Maya Angelou - she and Countee Cullen are two of my favorite poets. I ran across a piece Maya's poem, "Alone" the other night:

Lying, thinking
Last night
How to find my soul a home
Where water is not thirsty


Wow - "Where water is not thirsty." That made me think of Heaven and the promise of faith. (It's even better when recited by a skilled reader.)

And, in the mood I've been in lately, there is this one by Pablo Neruda, "Clenched Soul."

We have lost even this twilight.
No one saw us this evening hand in hand
while the blue night dropped on the world.


Indeed.

But I will go back to the main source of real comfort. 2 Peter 3:10-11, 10But the day of the Lord will come like a thief, and then the heavens will vanish (pass away) with a thunderous crash, and the [[a]material] elements [of the universe] will be dissolved with fire, and the earth and the works that are upon it will be burned up.

I've heard it said that this was the inspiration for the following poem.

This, Too, Shall Pass Away
Author: Lanta Wilson Smith

When some great sorrow, like a mighty river, Flows through your life with peace-destroying power And dearest things are swept from sight forever, Say to your heart each trying hour: "This, too, shall pass away."
When ceaseless toil has hushed your song of gladness, And you have grown almost too tired to pray, Let this truth banish from your heat its sadness, And ease the burdens of each tring day: "This, too, shall pass away."
When fortune smiles, and, full of mirth and pleasure, The days are flitting by without a care, Lest you should rest with only earthly treasure, Let these few words their fullest import bear: "This, too, shall pass away."
When earnest labor brings you fame and glory, And all earth's noblest ones upon you smile, Remember that life's longest, grandest story Fills but a moment in earth's little while: "This, too, shall pass away."

Beautiful. This, too, truly shall pass. Thank You, Father.

Peace
--Free

Monday, February 16, 2009

New Site O' Mine

I can't believe I didn't mention it here (or maybe I did & in my recent state of craziness, I don't remember), but I have yet another site.

The new site is called Trudy's Tracks & it's nothing but links. I created it because the most popular posts I did on this site was one filled with links for writers. When I created BLinks, I didn't get the same kind of response & I figured it's because the links got lost in the posts I would do. So. I created the new site with very little posting and just a ton of links under various categories. Of course, the biggest set of links are for writers and researchers (since that is still my main love), but I included a bunch of stuff for other interests.

There are links for doing cool stuff with your PC (like tweaking some functions or getting free protection), shopping (so far, a lot of cosmetics, but a bunch of bargain sites and some tech sites too), some of my fave blogs, and lots of other stuff, including networking sites for us "older" folks.

The site is turning out to be a lot of fun for me. I get to share links of all the various places I seem to run across all the time and, of course, I am forcing myself to discover things that I might not have otherwise. One of the more interesting categories I worked on was for the networking sites. Like a lot of people in my age group, I knew about the Facebook/MySpace sites, but I was surprised to find that there are similar sites geared to different interests. I found sites for Baby Boomers and people looking to hook into family... Oh! And I added some genealogical sites. That was another favorite category.

Right now I am working on transferring some of the sites listed on BLinks over to Tracks. Eventually, I will be deleting the BLinks blog. Let's face it, I have way more blogs than I have time to deal with them! And it's not like I get a bunch of traffic on them. I figure if I concentrate on the content of one or two blogs, I will get more response because of the better content. Makes sense, right? Right!

Anyway, try to get over and take a look. Probably I need to change the headings of some categories, but I'll get to that later. For now, just browse through and check some out at random.

Peace
--Free

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Alone-ness

I thought that marriage was going to mean never feeling alone. You know - even at the worst of times, financial, emotional, worry, joy, tears, laughter - all that would be shared. I thought that being married meant having someone who understood you better than anyone had since you were a child & your mother could tell your mood just by glancing at you. I thought that I would feel somehow more complete.

I don't think I have ever felt more alone than since I got married.

When I was single, I never really felt alone. I guess because I realized I was single & didn't have the expectations of a married woman. I had friends and family and my writing - and that was all I counted on. But to count on another person only to be disappointed... I guess that's what the saying "You don't miss what you never had" means - except in my case it would be, "You don't miss what you never hoped for."

Now, these days, I often contemplate leaving my marriage so that I can be more fulfilled. Or at least have a reason for feeling lonely.

Wow.

But I am trying to hold on just a little bit longer. Mostly because I take my marriage vows so seriously, but partly because I am afraid of leaving just when things might actually get good & marriage might just become what I had hoped.

Isn't the mind a funny thing?

Peace
--Free

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Rescued on Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day almost sucked, but then a friend sent a poem written just for me.

Self-esteem is such a huge part of human survival. Lately, my feelings of worth have taken such a beating that I sometimes can't remember how joyful I used to be; how beautiful I used to feel. So I am very grateful that there is at least one person out there who cared today.

Thank you (& you know who you are).

Peace
--Free

Monday, February 09, 2009

I Can't Stop Myself

I've gone and done it again. I have another - yes, ANOTHER - blog.

I wanted to improve on my concept of offering useful links. My BLinks blog wasn't feeling right to me. Now I have Trudy's Tracks (and, yes, I know I need to improve on the name; I'll keep working on that. In the meantime, tho, I am really pleased with the content.

Check it out HERE and then let me know if you have suggestions for more links or categories.

I believe that fellow writers and researchers are going to like the new blog.

Peace
--Free

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Christian Bale Needs to Get a Grip (No matter what Whoopi says)

Apparently, Joy Behar has more common sense than Whoopi on ths subject of Christian Bale. The ladies discussed that maniac's rant & Whoopi had this to say: “If I have to jump out of character to tell you something you should know?” Goldberg later continued. “You’re in a zone and it’s crazy.”

Yeah, it's crazy all right because it's just a movie!

You can try to defend Bale all you want, Whoopi, but he's still a jerk. And if you think what he did was okay, then you're buying into a whole selfish argument that being an artist comes before being human. When anyone behaves the way Bale did, what they are saying is, "I am so important that I can disregard being mature or decent or in control of my temper. I am important, damnit."

In a zone, my a**. He's in a fog of his own ego dust.  He should try getting out of his zone and realizing that his "zone" doesn't over-ride anyone else's zone.

Whoopi, Bale acted like a jerk. You are being silly when you try to defend his behavior by calling him an "artist." Like artists cannot be expected to behave decently. And you have the nerve to talk about being "professional"... C'mon, that's such a joke. What Bale should do is put himself into the shoes of the guy he went off on. What if that guy had things going on in his life (and not just his "art") that Bale didn't know about? What if when Bale's rant came on a bad day for this guy and made him feel more depressed or despaired or worthless than he may already have been feeling?

I don't know about you guys out there, but I've had days where a smile or decent word from someone (even a stranger) is the only thing that kept me going for a while longer. I've also had days where I was really feeling good only to have a Bale-like jerk be rude and ruin my sunshine.

Here's what I want to know: does Bale just have anger and control issues? I think I remember hearing about his bad temper from other incidents. Hmmm... Maybe he was just being a professional then too - no, wait, the last time I heard about him going off, it had to do with his family. Want to explain that one, Whoopi?

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Christian Bale Needs to Get a Grip

What a jerk.

I just listened (over at Perez Hilton's site) to Bale's tirade. Man, this guy makes so much money to do something that he supposedly likes doing, but he has to act like that big of a jerk when something pisses him off? He couldn't just be pissed off and done with it? He has to rant and rave and be that self-important over a scene in a movie? It's a freakin' movie, jerk - not a cancer research project, not a world-hunger-solving problem, not anything but a damn MOVIE.

If you want to put your anger where it counts, take it to Congress and argue for better healthcare. Stand in line with a homeless person who is trying to get a life together away from the streets. Stand up to someone JUST LIKE YOU who may be acting rudely to some LIKE THE GUY YOU WENT OFF ON.

Get the hell over yourself and just be thankful that all you have to be pissed about is someone "ruining" your scene. At least you don't have to be worried about where your next meal is coming from, or how to pay your kid's doctor bills, or ... Well, you don't have anything THAT life-important to worry about. Guess that's why you have energy to bust an artery over a scene in your movie & yet you lack the guts to do something more useful with yourself...

Agh!!!

Sunday, February 01, 2009

Where the police wrong? Should this woman be compensated?

There is a local story in the news here about what happened to a woman back in 2004.

This lady was out shopping in a mall with her son. There was a robbery at a bank in the same mall. The police showed up looking for a female suspect of a certain description (a heavyset African-American female in her 30s wearing a dark blue shirt, dark sunglasses, a black headband or bandana, tennis shoes and carrying a dark bag). The police detained the female shopper (45 at the time, was smaller and wearing a white, nylon jogging suit with a light blue shirt underneath. She was carrying a purse and a white Sears bag, and was with a child) - cuffed her, searched her, refused to let her son use her phone to contact his father.

This all happened in view of one of the busiest roads in town. People gawked, there was news footage, and a couple driving by recognized the woman being detained as someone from their church.

Eventually, the police determined that the woman they had detained was not the suspect. They released her. No apology.

The woman later sued. She lost (well, she won a part of her suit and was awarded $1) and now owes court costs and attorneys' fees of over $45,000. The judge thinks the lawsuit was frivolous. The jury was an all white jury.

By the way, here is how the news describes the innocent female shopper: 
  • Anchorage businesswoman and mother of two
  • She and her family were immersed in a church conference in the days leading up to the incident. 
  • She was at the mall shopping for something to wear to a church banquet
And her husband was, at the time all this happened, on active military duty (the police found the female's military ID).

The real robber was found later that evening, dressed as she had been described, hanging out in a seedier area of our town.

So, what do you think?

Peace
--Free

Friday, January 30, 2009

Funny, Funny

Okay. So many of us have been having a crappy, depressing week that I thought it was time for a giggle or two or...Well, just to have a laugh. I found some funnies to share.

One-liners:
  • Someday, we'll look back on this nervously and change the subject... (courtesy of Hilarious Quotes- as is the next line...)
  • I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
  • On the keyboard of life always keep one finger on the Escape key (link here)
Bumper Stickers:
  • Never give yourself a haircut after 3 margaritas
  • Who lit the fuse on your tampon? (Bit o' fun)
  • If you're going to ride my ass, at least pull my hair & make me scream
  • If you're not a hemorrhoid, get off my ass
  • Eat Right, Exercise, Die anyway
  • Damned if I do, Damned if I don't...so, damnit, I will!
  • Horn broken - watch for finger
If you hate your job sometimes:
  • I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead
  • Difference between the Pope & your boss: The Pope only expects you to kiss his ring
  • Work: it isn't just for sleeping anymore
  • The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts
  • If at first you don't succeed, try management
Just cute & funny:
  • Take my advice, I don't use it anyway
  • Even crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it
  • It's not how you pick your nose, but where you put the booger
Confucious Say: (Thanks again to Bit Of Fun!)
  • Crowded elevator smells different to midget
  • Virginity like bubble - one prick, all gone!
  • Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails
  • Man who drive like hell bound to get there
  • Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it
Why...? (Bit Of Fun)
  • ...Is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid with real lemons?
  • ...Don't psychics ever win the lottery?
  • ...Do we drive on "parkways" and park on "driveways?"
  • ...Do we choose 2 people to run for President & 50 for Miss America?
  • ...If "love is blind," why is lingerie so popular?
  • ...Do you press harder on the remote control when you know the battery is dead?
And, even though I know it's wrong...
Yo Mama Jokes:

Your mama is so ugly...
  • ...When she joined an ugly contest, they told her "Sorry, no professionals."
  • ...When she tried to take a bath, the water jumped out 
 Your mama is so old...
  • ...Her social security number is "1"
  • ...When she was in school, there was no History class
  • ...Her birth certificate is expired
  • ...She knew Burger King when he was a Prince
And, okay! That's enough of a giggle for the day. I feel a little bit better - how about you?

Peace
--Free

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Undiscovered Yahoo...

I learned something about Yahoo completely by accident today.

My husband - who HATES using a computer - actually got himself an email account. Well, actually a young guy he knows set the account up for him. Tim wanted me to send him a pic of myself (get ya minds out the gutta, folks!) and since he never can access the ones I send to his phone, we decided to try the PC this time.

ANYway... when I got the email address from the guy who set the account up, it was a "Ymail" account. I was like, "What the hell is ymail???"

Ymail is Yahoo's apparent answer to Google's Gmail.

Now, I've been trying to tell you peoples about the beauty, simplicity and mostly-spam-free wonders of Gmail, but y'all are just hard-headed. I don't think one of my friends or family signed up for a Gmail account since I mentioned it. I heard excuses like, "I'm used to my **fill in name here** email account." Or: "I don't want to deal with all the signing-up hassle"... Yeah, yeah, yeah... Whatev...

Well, I guess the folks over at Yahoo were paying attention to the folks like me who LOVE Gmail because they decided to do something similiar-sounding, similiar-looking, and (though it remains to be seen) similar-acting to Gmail. They did start with the biggie that Gmail had going for it: Unlimited storage...

Ta-daaaa!!! We have Ymail.

The deal is, Ymail is Yahoo Mail, except instead of being whoever-ever@yahoo.com, a user would be whoever-ever@ymail.com.

Also, when you do get a Ymail account, you have to sign in with the whole shebang (whoever-ever@ymail.com) instead of just being able to use the whoever-ever user ID like with old Yahoo mail. That's a little tedious if you share a PC or for other reasons have to sign out and back into your email often. (Not so bad for a user who can stay signed in.)

Now, a nice little perk is that when you DO sign up for a Ymail account, you get the options to do something I never noticed with Yahoo mail where you can "Connect" with people you select via your Profile. (As far as I know, with old Yahoo, this was mainly done via Yahoo 360 - which I hate because of the inability to delete page...)

What I like about the connections/profile thingie on Ymail is that you can share (with the folks of your choosing) such things as your presence on the web in various circles: Twitter, Blogger, Picasa etc. For instance, since some of you lazy-assed boogers don't check this blog often enough, you can now see it on my Ymail Connections page (that is, IF you bother to connect!) I like that you can limit who looks at what. You do these little invites or just open up your page to "anybody."

Once I signed up for the Ymail account and "updated" connections, profile, info, etc, I signed back into my old Yahoo email to see that the Ymail changes/functionalities had transferred over. In other words, I was able to do the "connect/update" thingie from my old account also. Interesting (and kinda fun!)

It doesn't stop there. I guess when you sign up for Yahoo now (as a new user or as someone just adding another ID), you have a choice of selecting which of 3 Yahoo domains to use: Yahoo, Ymail, or Rocketmail. **shrug** (I'ma leave Rocketmail alone for now!)

So. My man - in a roundabout, accidental way - led me to something new on the World Wide Web.

Peace
--Free

Monday, January 26, 2009

Just So Sad

I wasn't going  to blog today, but this just made me so sad.

  • How is it that no one was checking up on a 93 year old man? How lonely he must have been to have no one close enough to care at least that much.
  • How is it that an electric company can turn off (oh, excuse me - "limit") power IN THE WINTER, in a place known for cold temps. How can they do that without more of a process to ensure things like this don't happen?
  • How is it that (if & when the employee went out to attach the "limiter" device to the home) that employee didn't check on the old guy? Maybe if he'd done a courtesy chat, he'd have realized the guy's age and factored that into the decision for limiting power (or passed the info on to someone in charge).
  • How is it that we have come to this kind of tragedy?
  • Will it even make a difference? Will people who have elderly neighbors now check on them more often? Or offer assistance? Share some time and a meal with the old people? Or maybe refer helping agencies, churches or other caring individuals to that person who may be in need?
Lord, Jesus, when is the misery going to end? I guess it has ended for one elderly person, but how sad that life ended that way for someone who must have survived so much else. This old guy made it past 90 years. Now he can't share anything of what he learned with anyone else. Now he can't pass along wisdom and knowledge or just observations about life. Now he can't remind anyone of a time (if there ever was one) when his tragedy just would not have been allowed.

This is the United States of America. We are human beings.

I'm just so sad right now.

Peace
--Free

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Three Spottings In Blogosphere

No real post today. I'm writing (yay!!!). But I cruised around and this is what caught my eye:

Ridiculous


Interesting & a little scary


Cute

Peace
--Free

Thursday, January 22, 2009

I Don't Disagree With Bill Cosby, But...

I watched a clip from the Rachel Maddow Show where she talks about the possible influence the "Huxtable Effect" had on the election of Barack Obama. The idea is that becuase Cosby presented this fictional family on television that the American public was better able 20-some years later to accept a black man as a leader. I guess this has to do with social trends influencing people's perceptions.

Ms. Maddow interviewed Mr. Cosby and his collaborator Dr. Poussaint. I admire both of these men a lot for what they have achieved and for the fact that they are trying to reach out and educate others. And I agree with them (to an extent) about education and conformity to positive social norms being important to success.

But.

Here's the thing: not everyone, whether from a "normal" home (that is, with two decent parents) or not, is college material. Not everyone is going to be able to fit in with the current standards and offerings of higher education. Some people would be better suited to recieve affordable and viable training in a trade or business. (And I know that it's been said that a basic college education is absolutely required to compete in our "global market." I don't now if I agree with that. There will always be jobs that people can be trained -outside a 4-year college - to do. I think that there will always be labor jobs. If not, then it's not just going to be a problem for non-college educated folks; it's going to be a problem for whichever groups of people who fall short of the very top percentage of any kind of education.)

Let's say that you are a good worker in your field of choice. Let's say that you would be perfectly happy and productive if you could just work your average job, pay your average bills - nothing out of reach - and, if you wanted, be able to send your children on to higher education (if that's what they are suited for). What's wrong with that?

Well, what's wrong with that - or has always been - is that, if you are black (or any other kind of social minority), you were often not even allowed that. Because in most organizations, those in a position to offer those jobs were so many times white people who didn't have your job security as a priority over other white people. Or - even worse - sometimes black people in higher positions were just as much your on-the-job enemy as a white person. (These black people probably feel like you should have gone to college like they wanted to and did.)

It's all about the way people feel. Someone sees a white person who is content to toil away for years at a low- or middle-level job is seeing someone "hardworking," and "reliable," They say that people like that are the "backbone" of America. But if you see a black person in the same position, you hear things about their lack of "ambition," lack of education. Again - it's all about the way people feel. We all tend to base our actions on our feelings.

If you stop and think about it, you will probably come to realize that there are a lot of people who don't yearn for a big office to work in, business cards with a nice title printed on, or the ability to talk expense accounts and corporate travel. There are a lot of people who don't care to have a large or expensive home, the latest and greatest automobile. There are a lot of people who would just like to work, feed themselves and their family, have reliable transportation, be able to go to a doctor when needed, come home, enjoy their family time, and go to sleep at night knowing that life as they know it is fairly secure. There are a lot of people who don't sit around thinking about how to live off the government without working.

See, so many people don't want anything but to have a place in life and in their society. What's that old saying? About happiness being "something to do, something to love and something to hope for?" Well, we don't all aim to do grand things or love the same people as others, and we don't all hope for the biggest and brightest. Some of us have simpler joys and hopes.

I guess I'm on a rant because whenever one group or another talk about success, they talk about it only from their perspective.

So, Mr. Cosby, I never went to college, but I (and so many other who are currently in despair) would be a success if you and the rest of society appreciated my definition. You and I are not that different in our core beliefs about human nature and responsibility. I don't have out-of-wedlock children. I worked everyday on a job that I was good at. I paid my bills and didn't live "above my means." When my nieces needed to be cared for (with no help from the State or Government), my sister, mother and I took care of them. We didn't do it because of anything other than the fact that this is what family meant to us. When my mother got sick, my sister and I took care of her (and, by the way, so did those nieces - because it's what they learned at home). When times got tough, we tightened up and stuck together. We didn't steal, lie or cheat. We didn't ask the government for any undue help - unless my mother's SSI and other benefites of the elderly, like home weatherization counts.

And you know what happened when my employer was bought out by another company? Even though I was a good worker (the better of two in my position if you looked at performance reviews and other accounts), I was the one demoted down. The other worker, a white male - who had iffy reviews at times and much less positive feedback from co-workers - was kept on in the same position and even promoted soon after.

So maybe when we talk about "bettering" ourselves, we need to address bettering the society we live in. If it helps to make the point about our society, let me tell you something interesting: I got sick a few weeks ago. Being single, child-less and uninsured, I could not afford health care. One agency I called for help explained to me that if I had a dependent child or if I was receiving "benefits" (translation: "welfare benefits"), I would be eligible for some kinds of programs to help pay for a clinic/doctor visit. 

You can make certain arguments for certain people. You can always say that some people are lazy, immoral or criminal or that they simply lack a sense of conformity to polite society. But what do you say about the rest of us? What is offered for the rest of us? I never thought it should happen that having children out of wedlock or collecting welfare would be to my advantage when I needed help to see a doctor. But maybe that's just me.

Peace
--Free

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Thank You, Jesus!

After I watched this video today, I just had to take a moment and stop to thank my Lord Jesus. I had to ask His forgiveness for my recent self-pity and despair. I asked God to give me in MY circumstances just a little bit of the faithfulness and joy that this beautiful man has in HIS circumstances.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Voices From Slavery

I do love YouTube. As a writer/researcher, I have found more information YT than almost anywhere else.

This video is interesting (wish I'd taken Fountain's advice!):





Peace
--Free

Spelman's Oral History Project

On this extrordinarily notable day of history, I wanted to mention something that's being done to record history.

Check this out:




Peace
--Free

Friday, January 16, 2009

Very Interesting Film...

I watched the most interesting film tonight: The Lazarus Phenomenon. It starts out with information about Near Death Experiences, then goes into the story of a Nigerian man who was dead for three days before coming back to life again. There is also an account of another man's experience, but the first story was the most compelling to me.

I found the film on more than one site - some loading and playing better than others - and here is the link to the Google video version. The best-playing one is found here as Part 1 and Part 2 - the only problem being the small screen size making it difficult to read captions clarifying what the Nigerian speakers are saying.

I came across the film while looking for Christian films to view online. I have seen a lot of the more common Christian videos so I was surprised that I had never heard of the Lazarus film. It's a pretty amazing story & the main effect that it had on me personally was to make me realize that I need to be more forgiving of people who have hurt or offended me. You will understand this when you watch the film for yourself.

In case you are interested in seeing more Christian films, TBN has some on their site that you can watch and/or download. Also, check out Premier TV - "Christian TV On Demand." Let me know if you find others online.

Peace
--Free

Thursday, January 15, 2009

The End Is...Close???

I was raised inthe "Holiness" church (yes, people called us "Holy Rollers!"). I believe that the Holy Bible is the Word of God. And right now, I'm beginning to believe that we are living in the last days and times spoken of in the Bible.

The Bible talks about "wars and rumors of wars," and the newspapers talk of wars and rumors of wars. The Bible talks of people being "without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good," and we can look at the world around us and see the evidence more and more everyday. In Matthew, we learn that one of the signs of the nearing endtimes will be famines - just like in all of history, but more so. We read in the news about millions of starving people. We are told that knowledge will increase. Everyday, the scientists and wizards of business and technology come out with something new. As soon as one technology comes out, somehow it is being improved. The Bible tells us that the gospel will be spread all over the world. I don't even have to pull out my printed Bible to look up passages - I just pull up chapters and verses right on my PC.

*** and, yes, it's interesting that the famine link I used is from a "globalization" site***

I also believe that Israel plays a huge part of prophecy. What's going on in the Middle East right now? Well, what isn't going on there?  Israel is a part of God's heart and there are people who hate the nation.

So. I am sitting here, observing the turmoil in society, politics, the weather... And I'm thinking of something my mother used to say: "God is trying to talk to us." We're not listening.

And the biggest sign of all (at least, in the way I've always thought of it)? When people start cryinng out, "Peace" when there will be no peace.

I do believe we are living in the "end times" and I just pray for all of us.

Peace
--Free

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Alaska Living Today

Well, I may not want to be here after over 30 years, but I can't say life in Anchorage is boring. (Okay, yes, I CAN say that because it often is, but...)

Woke up this morning to the news that schools are closed because of the icy roads. That almost NEVER happens here. It is Alaska, after all - all we've got for most of the year is icy roads. So you know it has to be a nice mess for things to shut down.

We had days and days and days of below zero temps. When it warmed up yesterday to around 18 degrees, we damn near celebrated with patio parties... Then at some point, the temps shot up to the high 20's. THEN... freezing rain.

So, yeah, I guess the roads are bound to be a little bit icy. I'm hearing news updates about certain roads being shut completely down. One of my nieces - who has problems with her nerves when driving on SNOW - is talking about taking a taxi to work. My sister is missing dialysis this morning because she can't transfer from her wheelchair to the SUV and we don't want to risk getting in a wreck in the car we use. Such a mess.

I hate this damn place.

And even better (or worse), for the lucky souls who would be eligible for those famous Permanent Fund Dividends - well, turns out that the Fund is bleeding money. Rumors yesterday were that there may be no payout to the citizens this year. Doesn't bother me. I screwed up my eligibility by moving. Now, I was bothered as hell about this when those high-paying checks came out last time. I was so depressed then that I couldn't bear going into WalMart and Costco, watching people throwing that money around when I could have been paying off bills with it!

So, life in Alaska today...sucks. Sucks, blows chunks, stinks like a sulfur wind, and just plain makes me bitter. Couldn't even write a decent post!

Peace
--Free

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Silly Love Songs

"You'd think that people would have had enough of silly love songs. But I look around me and I see it isn't so. Some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs. And what's wrong with that? I'd like to know, cause here I go again..."

Oh, how I love Paul McCartney. You knew the man had a special love with Linda - how else could he have written such wonderful lyrics?

Anyway, like Mr. McCartney says, here I go again. I've got a whole playlist of love songs (well, mostly) on my songza:

In The Deep - Bird York
Everything Is Everything - Lauryn Hill
Before I Let Go - Frankie Beverly & Maze
No One Else On Earth - Wynona Judd
She's His Only Need - Wynona Judd
Beast of Burden - Rolling Stones
God Only Knows - Beach Boys
Wait for Me - Hall & Oates
Sarah Smile - Hall & Oates
Fire & Rain - James Taylor
Turn Your Lights Down Low - Lauryn Hill
It's You That I Need - Enchantment
Chasing Pavements - Adele
So Into You - Fabolous & Tamia
I Love You Too Much - Frankie & Maze
Do You Wanna Dance - Bette Midler

So, while I'm listening to this music, the thought hit me that the performers are all such different people, but they all have the heart in common. I hope they all end up in heaven with me so that I can get a concert!

In case you're interested (or just nosy!), I think this link will let you subscribe to my songza feed.

Peace
--Free

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Happy Birthday, Mom!

I can't believe it's been 8 years since you went Home. I still miss you so much everyday.

You've got new great-grandchildren - and another one on the way! Amanda got married and had the cutest kid ever (she's bad as year-old milk, but you would adore her) and has another one due in about 7 months.

Ant's little boy is a stone mess. Just like seeing Ant as a kid all over again. And his big sis is so shy and quiet that I just know you'd be telling her to "quit acting like somebody's going to bite!"

Tierra is about to graduate high school and will be going on to college (kid's got almost a 4.0 gpa!) - and, just think of the time we didn't think she would make it because of her shaky start at birth...

JP and Gab are doing well. They have careers and plans that you would be so proud of. Like all the kids here, they talk about their "Grammy" all the time. They remember the love and the "whippings" and the wisdom.

Gwennie is still so much YOUR Gwennie. Sassy, spunky thing. Because of you, Mom, your grandkids got such a good start in common sense that it will last them a lifetime.

Even the "babies" remember you. The infants you held on your lap... they all talk about their Grammy.

My friend was going through some problems the other day & as I talked to her, I could hear your words coming out of my mouth. She remembers and misses you too. We all do, Mom.

There have been days when I didn't think I was going to make it through & I had to hold on to all the things you taught me about going through trials and tribulations. I had to remember that you didn't have it easy, but that you always made the best out of any situation. I had to remember that you always found a reason to praise God and keep on keeping on.

So, we're all hanging in there. Maybe not all living the way you'd like, but we are still here. Somehow, no matter how often or how badly we mess up, things that you taught us bring us back. I am always so thankful to be a person who can say, "My Mama raised me right!" :-)

We just all miss you & love you so much. Happy birthday, Mom.

Peace
--Free

Friday, January 09, 2009

Most Interesting Blog In A Long Time

Just a quickie post right now to tell you about a curiously interesting blog called Oddee.com

Man, I spents TOO much time on that site last night! My fave post was on this guy who does "realistic" paintings. The one featured is of a woman and, let me tell ya - it looks JUST LIKE a photo. Unbelievable.

Anyway, go on and check it out. I've already added it to my Bookmarks, a toolbar folder, Google Faves, etc...

Peace
--Free

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Ridiculous Things

German mogul kills self over financial meltdown

After what I have been through in life, I can certainly understand feeling overwhelmed and depressed. Depaired even. But to commit suicide because you went from being a billionaire...? What? You would only be middle class now? Or just have to manage your money a lot more tightly? 

Wow - talk about one man's problems being another's dream...

He used his wealth, estimated by Forbes last year to be $9.2 billion, to take stakes in HeidelbergCement and Ratiopharm. HeidelbergCement shares were down 5.8 percent at euro31.39 ($43.18) in Frankfurt trading after news broke of Merckle's death.

I'm pretty sure that a person who really loved their loved ones would have found a way to count their blessings instead of staring at their debts. I mean, if you MADE that kind of money LAST YEAR, you probably still own enough of something to live on for the rest of your life, right? Maybe not in the splendor of a billionaire, but you'd be eating and sheltered and clothed...

Ah, so...I just don't get it. 


Peace                                                                                                                                              --Free


 

 

Monday, January 05, 2009

You Never Know

My mother used to have a saying: "You just never know what people are going through." She'd usually say that after someone commented about someone else acting strange or different than normal.

Let me tell you something: that saying is so true. You just never know what people are going through.

I feel lately as if the weight on my mind and my soul are so heavy that it's almost hard to breathe. I literally sometimes have to concentrate on breathing and moving slow because I just feel like I am about to break. Everything is just too much.

I know that when I get through all this, I'm going to be stronger. I'll be able to understand someone else's burdens better that I could have before.

Right now, I just crave normalcy. A companion and a routine. Soul comfort. I know that as long as I live, there are going to be regular stresses and problems, but I can't take anymore of these bombshell types of problems. My situation feels almost apocalyptic. I keep waiting for someone to tell me that the end is near.

Here's a thought: I'm not the first person to go through a lot of trials and tribulations. I'm not the first or only person right now to be sitting and asking God "Why?" But I just never understood before that it could all happen to me.

For now, I'm just concentrating on not breaking. I literally pray to God to send someone to rescue me, comfort me, tell me it's going to be all right.

So, everybody out there, be praying for me. I need a miracle or two! I need all of the positive thoughts and prayers you can send out on my behalf.

Peace
--Free

Saturday, January 03, 2009

Blessings

The other day I was grousing about negative people in my life. Waste of time, waste of energy.

I want to talk about the people who have been a blessing in my life:

There is a really good girlfriend/sister (you know what I mean - more of a sister than just a friend) who has been there for me when I felt like my whole world was crashing down. When I was too embarrassed to go to family or didn't want to burden them during a bad period in their lives, this woman stepped up in the biggest way. She listened to me cry without faking her concern. She listened to me recount what a fool I had been without judging me. She told me what I needed to hear when I needed to hear it. She has sat up through the night with me when I thought I was going to lose my mind. If that doesn't tell you something, then this will (and only people who know cold weather will really get this!): The other day/night, I was having a bad time of it. I called up just to chat with my friend "S" because usually that makes me feel better. This time, tho, when she answered the phone, I fell apart. I mean, I couldn't form a coherent sentence. Now. On this particular evening, it was about -16 (that's some true cold weather - even for here), the roads were icy, party people were hitting the streets and clowning so that sane folks wouldn't want to be on the same roads with them. "S" heard my voice on the phone and said only 2 things: "Where are you?" and "I'm coming over right now." She came. She came and bundled me up and took me to her house (which is more isolated and quiet & we all know people about to lose it need a little quiet!). She didn't ask questions and we didn't even really talk about my problems right then. She watched television and fixed coffee and pulled out blankets for me. We just sat together. And I survived another bad episode of the my-life-is-falling-apart blues.

There is my niece and her husband. These guys know what they have been for me. They have offered open hearts, home and souls to me. They have literally rescued me from a really bad situation. Without a question, without a sideways look, without boundaries. All I can say is that I love them and I hope they know that. (To all the parents out there who complain about their kids: all we ever had to give ours was love and a good ass-whipping when they needed it. Apparently that was enough to raise them to be selfless and compassionate. Buying your kids cellphones and BMWs won't buy their love.)

There is my sister - who is just quiet and calm and way saner than I will ever be under worse circumstances than I will probably ever survive. She is the love-glue around here.

Then there is a friend that I have never even met in person. "D" will know I'm talking about him. He has been funny and kind and sweet in such a warm and non-pushy way. There are not many men who know how to be  woman's friend. Thanks, D. If I am EVER single, I pray God some woman has not snapped your behind up!

So, instead of focusing on negative people, I am just thanking God tonight for the few and the wonderful. May He give them peace and return to them for me their kindness in overflowing.

Peace
--Free

Thursday, January 01, 2009

New Year New Me

Oh, what a year it's been! Not a good year, but that's okay. I have lived and learned and survived.

2009 is going to be a year of "come back" for me.

I am going to get on my feet financially (despite being ripped off by a family member)
I am going to date again (with or without my husband)
I am going to finish a book
I am going to end up living in the place I fell in love with
I am going to be going to writers' conferences and get-togethers
I might even host a writers group

By this time next year, I will be (God willing to let me be here) decorating a home and going for regular pedicures and manicures.

I may not be living high on the hog, but I will be living life.
If everything really works out, I will be in a good, stable relationship with a man who values me.

And, most of all, I will be able to look back and say to God with thanks: "Look Where You Brought Me From."

Everyone stay safe and blessed and have a wonderful 2009!

Peace
--Free

Monday, December 29, 2008

Music. Lyrics.

I happened across a song that I've loved from the first time I heard it. It's a love song, but I heard it way before I had anybody to love on my mind. The song is "I Wanna Grow Old With You" by Westlife.

So, I'm listening to this song when I am feeling anything but some damn love... and I flashed onto a conversation that I had with someone who I am very close to. This female and I were grousing about our husbands and it dawned on us that if we could blend our two men into one, we'd have pretty much the perfect mate for each of us.

My man tends to be more affectionate than her man, but her man is a way better financial provider than mine. She doesn't get enough attention from her man & I get almost too much (often the jealous kind). Hers doesn't know how to be social enough for her & mine is social when he wants to be and a jack ass when he doesn't want to be. Hers is addicted to video games and mine to alcohol. And when I say addicted & you hear "games" and think it can't be that bad - think again. I'm talking come home from work, change clothes and hook into the games and stay there until time to go to bed. Ev-er-y day. Mine is an alcoholic & you probably know what a pain in the ass that is.

So. this other female and I were wondering what has happened to all the really good men. Men who know how to treat and appreciate a good woman. Have they been run off by the bad women out there? Have they gotten spoiled by social changes? Are they all dead? I mean, damn.

Anyway, after my little hissy fit (and someone out there knows why THAT phrase came to my mind today), I tried to tell myself that these are the changes anyone goes through in a marriage. I tried listening to Sade's "By Your Side" to work up some stand-by-your-man kind of feeling. Sh*t, all I came away with is: I HAVE been standing by this man. Lots of us have been standing by some men and women who need to start deserving all our love and patience.

Yeah, I'm through ranting for now, but wait 'til tomorrow when I tell you about a falling out I'm having with a sorry-assed member of the family...

Peace
--Free

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Free Entertainment

I have my little tricks for keeping sane - Lord knows, you all have had to hear so much about that here lately...

Movies have never been my big thing. I never have liked going out to stand in a ticket line to sit in a dark, crowded (usually dirty) place with a bunch of strangers. At the movies, you can't hit a Pause button, you can't (usually) get seat-side service on food, you can really stretch out and get comfortable, you can't (without repercussions) tell the loud-mouth nearby to "Hush!" So. I have never enjoyed the movie-going experience. Besides, I like too many things that don't play in most theaters: Agatha Christie mystery shows, Alfred Hitchcock, the Twilight Zone - all that kind of stuff.

Enter the beautiful World Wide Web. At my fingertips, at my leisure, in the comfort of wherever I am, and with myself in almost total control, I have entertainment. Movies, music, gossip, news, etc. I used ot subscribe to the old Yahoo Music Engine (then Jukebox), but I let it lapse only to learn recently that YME/B is no more. It's all gone to Rhapsody. (I downloaded the Rhapsody program as non-paying, just to check it out & the dang thing is so confusing, right now I can't see PAYING to be that puzzled over how to use the service...)

ANYway... I told you guys already how I discovered some of the old shows I love. I have been on an overload of Hitchcock shows and Dick Van Dyke, Andy Griffith, etc. The only thing I haven't been able to find much of are 2 of my faves: Miss Marple and Hercule Poirot. *sniff*

The whole point to this post is that since I first started talking about watching movies and television online, I have had friends and strangers sending me all kinds of links. It's how I found Hulu.com. Now, I have someone letting me in on news about a site called The Old Time Radio Show Catalog.  The name says it all, but maybe not enough since the catalogue if pretty lengthy. The thing is other than a "daily download," you have to order the CDs.

I'm not sure how the person who contacted me actually did find me at the email address they used, but find me they did. And, as I promised, I visited their site & dug what I saw. And - now I'm sharing it with you. (BTW - the person contacting me did NOT ask for a plug. I might get a free CD, but I admire their coolness!)

While we are on the subject of diversions, I found some really good free card game downloads over at CNET.com

And here are some other cool places to visit (forgive me if I have repeated any of these links here or on BLinks - my state of mind these days is a little foggy and loose).

Hulu (for great tv shows to watch online)
Like Television (more tv online)
Chess Kids (don't fall over, but I'm trying to learn to play chess!)
Find Your Spot (take a long quiz & see where the site says you'd love to live...)
Free Tube (and it's back to online tv again!)

And if anyone can explain that dang Rhapsody to me (ya know, the "For Dummies" version), fire away.

Peace
--Free

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Merry Christmas, All

I've been so depressing here lately in my posts, I wanted to lighten up a little and wish everyone a beautiful Christmas.

I've been looking at all my problems instead of my problems & I need to stop that.

So... I'm hoping that if any of you are dealing with some heartache or other unhappy thing in your life, that you will take a moment tonight to just thank God for the blessings - no matter how small they are. Your SMALL blessings are ones that others wish for:

If you have a mate that you love and can depend on (no matter what other problems there are) - be thankful

If you have your health - so many people don't. My sister lost both her legs; a friend of the family just lost a battle with kidney failure, and I read in the paper where a 19-year old girl was killed in a car wreck last night.

If you have a roof over your head - no matter how raggedy or run-down - it's there.

If you ate anything at all today.

if you have a television to watch, a radio to listen to, a computer to spend time on, or books to read - be thankful.

If you are doing your worrying as you drive back and forth on errands - you have a car.

If you had cried yourself to sleep in your bed at night - you have a bed.

If you have grumbled over having to cook when you are tired - you have appliances and food.

There are just so many blessings & sometimes they just happen to be wrapped up inside our problems and worries. Lord knows I've had SO many tears and disappointments lately - but I am still so very blessed.

Have a thankful Christmas. Have a smile. Have a moment of prayer. Have a heart for someone else who may be hurting.

Peace
--Free

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Getting Through

I've made no secret of the fact that I'm "going through it," emotionally. One of the ways I've been dealing with a lot of my emotional pain is finding ways to distract myself when I get to feeling down. One of the distractions: watching old movies and listening to old radio shows online.

I'm about to post some links over on my other blog that might interest others who are into "distractions."

Also, I discovered this web site for online counseling/therapy. Now we can say that the Web has everything...

Peace
--Free

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Chasing Pavements

I don't even have words for how this singer and this song connected with what's going on in my life right
now. I wish I could meet her just to tell her that "Chasing Pavements" is going to be my personal song to help me get through the process of moving on with my life.

Take a listen - and go out and buy this lady's CD. I haven't heard original soulful sounds like this in a long time.


Friday, December 12, 2008

Going Through It

Lord, Jesus, help me.

What a month I've had. Who am I kidding - what a year I've had!

I hate to get on my pity pot, but your girl here has been through more crap than the Lord should put on someone.

The latest: after 6 months of marriage, I'm just about ready for a d-i-v-o-r-c-e. For real. And, trust me, I've given it my all. I have put up with stuff that I never thought I would. I have stuck with this man through nothing but thin. At what point do you say to yourself "Enough" and make up your mind to move on? After he's lied over and over? After he's promised not to lie and still lied? After disappointment's too many to count???

One of the reasons I've hung in so long is that I want to believe in real love. I really want to believe that if you love a person enough and stand by them through bad times that they will grow stronger. Well, that has not been the case in my situation.

I fell in love with a man who doesn't have anything in terms of material wealth. He's not the most handsome man. He's not any of the things that most women would look for. But I love him. Why? Because I think he really does have a good heart. The problem: he's weak. Too weak to face anything negative and make it better. Too weak to stand up to life and get through.

I still love him, but I can't depend on him for the emotional support that people in a relationship should share. I have to always be the "strong" one. I have to be the one to handle the problems and hardships because he will just fall apart under any kind of pressure. Well, guess what? I'm tired of being the strong one. I want to be able to lean on someone sometimes. I want to be able to know that I've got a partner who can take some of the pressure off us. I want to be the "traditional" woman.

Whew! Okay, I got that off my chest. I feel a little bit guilty about ranting so publicly, but, hey, this is MY forum to do what I want.

Who knows - maybe he will buckle down and get his act together in a few days and we will have a chance, but my patience is running soooooo thin right now. If things don't get better soon, you all are going to be seeing another post soon where I talk about what it's like to get on with life after major let-down...

Peace
--Free

Monday, December 08, 2008

Great Sites (for saving a buck)

Haven't been round here for a minute & don't have a ton of time today, but I wanted to join in the crazy commercialism of the season & plug a few sites I've run across. I guess you can call these sites shopping money-savers...

The Budget Fashionista - my niece is going to LOVE this one. I just sent her the link & I am starting to explore it more deeply myself.

Cheap Stingy Bargains... Well. THAT about says it all, huh? Mostly electronics, game players & movies & such, but I did see some other items sprinkled in. This is on my Google Reader list and I check it periodically.

Coupon Mountain clues folks into the deals available for a wide variety of products - clothes, jewelry, magazines... just about anything.

Deal Detectives - another good one on my Google Reader.

And, finally, yet another on my Reader:

Deal Hack

For those of you wanting to be a little more frugal year-round, there are some good sites out there to help:

Frugal For Life           Real Simple         Wise Bread     Budget 101  All Things Frugal

Tightwad Central     The Dollar Stretcher        Miserly Moms

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Real Housewives? Yes Again!

I was pretty amazed yesterday to read up on the Atlanta Housewives. Wow, I mean, Lisa threatening to kill Kim. And Kim with her secret, possibly married boyfriend "Big Poppa." And NeNe might have been a "dancer." Mercy.

I have to tell you that my least favorite of the wives is that damn Sheree. Girlfriend thinks her sh*t don't stink. And while she is not ugly, it kills me that she thinks she is so beautiful. Maybe if her attitude was better... Notice how she is always doing that thing of pushing her hair back with her finger? She's always posing. (And when she makes nasty comments about NeNe not being attractive, I want to fall over. NeNe looks better than her hook-nosed behind does!)

My favorites are still NeNe and DeShawn. NeNe is real. She may not be a "sophisticated" as the others think they are, but she is at least real. And I dig how she has the guts to say what she really feels. I have the feeling she is the one who would be the most fun to have as a real-life friend. You know, the one who'd be there for you if you didn't have money or were dealing with some mess. And the one who would just be a blast to hang out with. Plus, if she doesn't do a damn thing else, she has the Twisted Hearts Foundation (even though I couldn't find a site for the foundation).

DeShawn seems to have a naturally sweet nature. She and her family were blessed financially & she acknowledges that. (I do think she is a little enchanted with having a "chef" (who calls her Mrs. Snow. Get down, girl) and an estate manager, but I'm not going to lie, I'd have them if I could afford it!) At least she isn't a snot about it. AND the biggest thing I like about her: she seems to be so truly in love with her man. I don't get the feeling that I do for the other wives that she is just there for the money. That's some real love going on there.

Speaking of "iffy" love, that Lisa chick... Wellllllll I don't know if she is really down for her man or not. I mean, I do think that it's no hardship to be into him while he's set, but did you notice her little slip-up when they were talking about the possibility of him being badly injured? I think she said something about not wanting to be wheeling him around in a wheelchair.... Whoa. What happened to the "for better or worse," "in sickness and in health" part of marriage? (She backed it up really quick & said that she would be there for him, of course... but that was a clean-up job.) Another thing about Lisa: she has the cunning look and attitude of someone playing whatever role she needs to play to get by. You know, right now she is the cute, sweet, giggly, loving wife to Ed, but if she needs to, she could change masks and be something else. (What's that saying she has? "If it doesn't make me money, I don't do it"? Does that include relationships???)

Kim. Oh, what can I say about Kim??? When I was reading up on the Housewives yesterday, I learned that she gives her age as 29. Dang. Not that she is ugly or anything, but I don't know that I would have pegged her at being under 30. Actually, I think she is cute. She dresses horribly cheap, but she is attractive. And I do think that she is sincerely a loving mother. But... What's with her and this Big Poppa mess. I guess she's only been with him for less than a year, yet she's known NeNe for 3 years... Where does her money come from? Were she and NeNe dancers together? Isn't gold-digging a little shaky as a profession? I mean, what do you do between rich boyfriends??? (Maybe that's why she loves diamonds. She could probably finance a good lifestyle off the jewels while she scouts out another provider...)

Now I have to scope out more info on the dudes on the show (not the hubbys, but the gay guy friends!)

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Real Housewives?

Okay. It's official: I am hooked on the Real Housewives shows. I'm embarrassed about it, but I am hooked.

My one problem with the show is the idea of anything be "real" (as in everyday real and ordinary) about these women. If you want "real," do a show about the women (and men) who are balancing a tougher budget than any government, using prayer as their main healthcare plan and trying to keep a relationship alive under all that stress. That's real. Shopping for Gucci, Ucci and Whoever-else-ii is not as common as shopping at WalMart, Target and Susie's Deals.

OK. My rant is over & I have to say I love the show as a diversion from real life. I'm impressed
at the diversity of it all. Ignorance is equal opp. Black, white, bi-racial - it doesn't matter. Give some people money and they get all caught up. It's all about big boobs, good weaves and hot wheels.

I watched the one with the ladies from Orange County. That was just so-so for me. I saw the same women in my everyday life when I was working in Arizona. The fake boobs, the "me" obsession... It was too familiar.

Then came the ladies from NYC. Inter-esting! I liked watching people being so classy-trashy that they would pimp out their lives on a television show. I mean, come on - the duchess or whatever... How secure is she that she needs to feel big by showing all the common folk how she lives? (My fave scene with her was when she got miffed about being introduced to the help by her first name.)

And now, just like I knew it would be, here are the ladies of Atlanta. Lord have mercy... I think the one I admire most in the group is Nene. At least she is real. Not that the other ladies aren't just something else, but I get the feeling that these are a bunch of little girls playing with big money. The weaves, the showy talk about needing nannies and estate managers... You just cannot give some people money and expect them to act right. My fave quote: "I don't keep up with the Joneses, I AM the Joneses!" (And that makes you proud because...why?)

Here's what I wonder about all these people: are they more proud of the work they do to make the money, or are they just proud of the money?

On the very positive side, the ladies do seem to try to do a lot of good with their money. They all seem to try to "give back" and help out with their foundations and charities. I LOVE Nene's work with helping women. How cool is that? And I like that Lisa and Sheree seem to be doing their thing as businesswomen. (Kim... Well, I don't know what's up with her and the whole "Big Poppa" thing. Sounds like a Suga-Daddy situation there & does he feel used or what? Or just like he's getting his money's worth?)

And is it just me or is Dwight probably embarrassing to other gay people with his Steppin Fetchit gayness? (Yet & still, I find him soooo amusing.)

Anyway... I can't wait to see the reunion show for the Atlanta ladies.

Thursday, November 06, 2008

Sarah Came Marching Back

Mudflats had me crying with their account of Palin's return to Alaska. Poor Mudflats was there in the freezing cold & it had to be worth it for the one giggle over what would happen if she'd started up the "O-ba-ma" chant. You have to take a look at the pics.

Thinking About Today

Here are snatches of some thoughts and conversations I've had since the announcement of Obama as President Elect:

  • Black people are really going to need to step up their game. Finally, the world is going to have higher expectations for us. And that's a wonderful, beautiful thing.
  • Obama is not the Messiah. He is not going to be able to wave a wand and solve every problem right now. Or even soon.
  • I hear people saying how not young minorities can look to Barack Obama and say "I can grow up to be President." He's the first black president & he did it without one before him. We need to teach our children and ourselves to strive to be "the first" in all areas that they want to reach for.
  • There is going to be some payback in the workplace for some of us. Until people's feeling, emotions, tempers - whatever - calm down, things will be a little touchy sometimes.
  • There have been many successful minorities in various walks of life, but for whatever reason, they have not been as visible to our young people. Well, you can't ignore or hide away the President of the United States.
  • When people who didn't vote for the new president get over their disappointment, many of them are going to come around to the idea of being as hopeful as the rest of us. If Obama messes around and cleans up some of this mess we've made of the economy, all those disappointed Republicans will be knocking the rest of us down getting to the polls to vote for him next time.
  • I do feel bad for Mr. McCain. To work so hard for something and lose it. Because of his age, this was probably the last shot for him to run this way. No one likes defeat. And to have the campaign fall apart the way it has. To have people you thought were your friends turn out not to be. To have ridden that high and worked that hard for so long. I just can't imagine what the morning after felt like. Maybe he's glad. Hopefully he is resting. Maybe he will put his energy and abilities into doing what he can to help the new Prez.
  • Sarah Palin. Well. This has got to be tough for her too. I wonder what has gone through her mind in the past week or so. I wonder what coming down off of that high feels like. Wonder what thoughts she has when she lays down to go to sleep at night.
  • If Mr. Obama runs the White House the way he ran his campaign, we're in good hands.
  • Even though nothing has changed yet. Even though the new prez isn't even sitting in the Office yet, I already feel a personal sense of hope that things will get better. I don't feel so much anxiety about "what now?"
  • I wonder what Mr. Bush is feeling. I wonder what anyone about to leave the Job feels.
  • What is going on in Hillary Clinton's head? Bill's? Will Hillary run again. Will she be a friend to Obama?
  • Wonder what kind of puppy the Obama girls are going to get? (And who gets to clean up behind a puppy in the White House?)
  • I saw Jesse Jackson on the night of the election (well, not in person!) and I watched as he cried. I can't imagine what went through his mind. Hope? Joy? Envy? A feeling that if he'd just been born in a different time? I kind of imagine that he was just proud and wistful.
I had lots more thoughts and conversations, but it's all too overwhelming to continue.

Next post, I'm going to get back to a website roundup.

Peace (& hope & change)
--Free


Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Finally...It Starts

Well. I guess today is the day.

I didn't post for several days on the election because I was just sick to death of the whole thing, but now, here we go, huh?

Interesting what this race has done to people. Yesterday, someone I know was upset with a person she works for. She sent me a text: "I believe L___ is racist from some of the stuff she is saying about Obama." Hmmm. The person she was talking about is someone she always liked before. I guess certain subjects never came up before this election...

I've heard other stories (and have some of my own) about surprising undertones of racism and class-ism and sexism coming out between people because of this particular election. I was really shocked when one friend of mine kept making little comments about the election. She would never come out and say that she doesn't want a Black president, but the things she did say made me feel that she was on that track. And the saddest thing is: I don't think that she even admits to herself that she's against Obama because he's Black. I don't think she wants to admit that to herself, but... Just so many things make you stop and think and really re-examine what's REALLY going on.

Just imagine what some of our personal relationships are going to be like TOMORROW. I know that some of my relationships with friends and acquaintances are going to be tense. I know that, for years to come, things are going to feel a little... weird for all of us.

Well. Back to CNN and MSNBC. I'm going to be watching the returns like a hound dog. I need to know which game face to put on tomorrow. I mean, am I going to be happy or depressed tomorrow? Am I going to be feeling like we may finally be "overcoming," or am I going to feel like we still have come a long enough way? AND... how am I supposed to behave if Obama wins? I mean, I'm going to be happy (and, no, not just because a Black man is president, but also because I believe in his policies-to-be), but I need to be sensitive to the feelings of the other side (ha!)

See you in the morning, morning.

Saturday, November 01, 2008

I Can't Help Myself. Palin Gets Pranked!

I swore this all off until after the election, but Mudflats has me just ROTFL with this one!



Oh, stop it! My sides are just hurting from all the laughing!!!

Friday, October 31, 2008

Celebration Time, Come On!



It is 5:37pm on October 31st. I don't want to be premature, so I'm holding this back and won't post til THE DAY!!!

This is how I'm feeling.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

The Spirit of America

This is something that a friend of mine, Drew Williams, wrote for his hometown paper.

So many have asked the question: Who will win the 2008 Presidential Election? The answer is simple. The one who can capture the Spirit of America.


Several years ago, British Prime Minister Tony Blair spoke to the US Congress about its role in bringing down Saddam:


“and I know it's hard on America, and in some small corner of this vast country, out in Nevada or Idaho or these places I've never been to, but always wanted to go...


I know out there there's a guy getting on with his life, perfectly happily, minding his own business, saying to you, the political leaders of this country, "Why me? And why us? And why America?"


And the only answer is, "Because destiny put you in this place in history, in this moment in time, and the task is yours to do."


Prime Minister Blair spoke of a defining moment in our history and what he felt our obligation was as the Leader of the Free World. He understood the importance of our history and what the impact could be if we did nothing. He is wise beyond his years.


We have now reach such another moment. It is now up to us, Americans, to decide which side of our history we respond to for this presidential race. It’s not an easy choice. There have been some things said by the candidates that have cause Americans to draw a few lines. There have been some things said by Americans that have produced even more lines. Somewhere in the midst of all the myths and misleading statements lies the truth. That’s where many of us are today. Looking for a truth inside our conscience.


If Americans can remember, it is the efforts of all people that allows us to shine. In our darkest moments of war, famine, disasters, and disease we have overcome desperation with diversity, hunger with heart, and division with cohesion. This is our strength as a nation and it sets us apart from any other nation across the globe.


Whoever you may decide to cast your vote for, remember that you don’t need a President to lend a helping hand, to show compassion, or to just be a good neighbor. For these moments are reserved for you to define. How you manage these moments will define the manner in which your life moves forward. In your moment and in your vote, capture the Spirit.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Depressing Emails

From my last post, you can tell how I feel today. So. I get the following email from someone who I know meant well, but... Can we please just admit that those emails don't help too much. It's like when someone is drowning & instead of offering them your hand - or a rope or something to help them out of the damn water - they stand there singing an uplifting song. Doesn't mean the song is not meant to be uplifting, but it's not going to save the drowning person, is it? So, please: enough with those emails. They only sound good to someone who doesn't need the help.

One day I decided to quit...
I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality... I wanted to quit my
life.

I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.

God', I asked, 'Can you give me one good reason not to quit?'
His answer surprised me...
Look around', He said.. 'Do you see the fern and the bamboo?'

Yes, I replied.
When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care
of them.

I gave them light.

I gave them water.

The fern quickly grew from the earth.

Its brilliant green covered the floor.

Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the
bamboo.
In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.
And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on
the bamboo. He said.

In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed.

But I would not quit.
In year four, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. I would
not quit.' He said.
'Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared
to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant...But just 6
months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.

It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong
and gave it what it needed to survive.


I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle.
He asked me. 'Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been
struggling, you have actually been growing roots'.

I would not quit on the bamboo.

I will never quit on you.'
Don't compare yourself to others. He said.

The bamboo had a different Purpose than the fern.

Yet they both make the forest beautiful.'
'Your time will come', God said to me.

'You will rise high'
'How high should I rise?'

I asked. 'How high will the bamboo rise?' He asked in return.
'As high as it can?' I questioned.

'Yes.' He said, 'Give me glory by rising as high as you can.'
I left the forest and brought back this story.

I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on
you. Never, Never, Never Give up.

For the Christian, Prayer is not an option but an opportunity.
Don't tell the Lord how big the problem is, tell the problem how Great
the Lord is!

Heavens door opened this morning, God asked me... My CHILD...
what can I do for you?' and I said 'Protect and bless the one reading
this message. God smiled and answered ... 'request granted ............

Guess what, friend? Obviously your request wasn't granted. (I haven't given up on God, but this email got on my nerves!)

Someday We'll All Be Free

Just because of the way I'm feeling today in my tired soul



Doesn't make me feel better, but I don't feel alone in the gloom

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Alert: Missing Child

From Electronic Village comes this.

Get the word out, people.

I'm... Speechless?

Saw this on Perez this morning.

Well, this is what America is about. Picking a leader based on qualifications and not color.

(I'm not even going to comment on Palin's wardrobe function. Or her kids' travel expenses - representing the campaign my a**...)

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Obama Endorsed & Others Chastised

I'm not surprised at the endorsement. I was feeling a little chastised. I, too, have been narrow-minded at times. Thank you, Mr. Powell