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Sunday, October 17, 2010

"I Know What You've Gone Through"

One of the worse things to hear when you are dealing with a crisis is: "I know what you're going through." (Or: "I know just how you feel.")

When you hear someone say that, don't you just want to say, "No. You don't!"

I've been on the giving and receiving end of that kind of useless empathy. I struggled for a long time trying to figure out how to let a friend know that I meant better. Finally, I think I've found two of the best ways to respond when someone confides their problems:

1 - Silence. Just say nothing. Maybe the friend only wanted someone to listen. Or (since I am not in anyway the "silent type") I think I've found a better way to empathize verbally...

2 - Instead of saying "I know how you feel," maybe it's better to say, "I don't know how you feel, but I do know what's it like to go through some things." 
See, everyone has problems. Your problems may not be the same as mine (and vice versa), but any problem is important to the person involved. What I need to work on is not making my problems seem more important than anyone else's. Our problems are always bigger to us - because they are happening to us. I just don't want to be selfish with my empathy.

Now I have something else to pray about! LOL.

Peace
--Free

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Let Not Your Heart Be Troubled!

I was thinking of John 14:27 and I woke up with tears in my eyes this morning.

Not sad tears or depressed & distressed tears.

The tears on my face this morning were tears of gratitude. I have been so blessed. God, all along, knew what I've gone through. I'm still not out of the valley yet, but I am not in the darkest part like I had been for so long. I have learned that no matter what happens, I have been instructed to:

"Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid!"

I have even come to understand a little bit of WHY I had to go through tough times: I think I got a little too complacent and ungrateful. When things were good, I forgot Who was blessing me. I was haughty and proud and selfish.

My mother used to say something along the lines of, "You get too full of yourself, life will bring you to your knees."

Well, life certainly did bring me to my knees. (Notice it's not God that brought me down, but me, myself and my pride...) I guess it's what you do and Who you turn to when you get knocked to your knees! I turned to God.

So, while I am still going through some strife and worry, I know that God is with me. I know that, while today is good - I finally have a job, Thank Him! - the next moment can bring some new stress. I could lose the job, get sick, be deserted by friends or family. Anything can happen. BUT - I have God with me. And if God is for me, who can be against me?

Now I am going to keep on singing and praising and depending on God. I am going to continue to pray and try to be steadfast no matter what people may do or say. And, if I should die right now, I can rest in the peace that I'll just be going on Home.

If any of you are going through some things (and I am thinking of Drew and Jone and Sharon and others), just close your eyes for a moment and thank God for the blessings. The devil can try all he wants to keep us focused on the troubles, but we know better.

And, finally - I want to thank my new friend Jone for reminding me of 1John 3:18---

"My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth."

I have been so guilty of saying how I love someone, but not letting my actions be guided by that love. And I have to remind myself that this love is supposed to be for everyone, not just family and friends, but for the people I meet all through daily life. (Thanks, Jone!)

Peace
--Free

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Precious Things We Have Lost

It has occurred to me that every generation loses something. I am having the thought that with every generation removed from the beginning of the Gospel, people have moved closer to becoming exactly the way we are described in the Bible in 2 Timothy 3:1-9 

But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these. For among them are those who enter into households and captivate weak women weighed down with sins, led on by various impulses, always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth. Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so these men also oppose the truth, men of depraved mind, rejected in regard to the faith. But they will not make further progress; for their folly will be obvious to all, just as Jannes's and Jambres's folly was also. (NOTE: boldface mine)

Is that not what we have become already? And, of course, this is not new to THIS day, but what I am thinking is that we get to be more and more like this.

For example, when I was young, there were certain things I (and ANY young person who was considered to have been raised in a "good" home) would NEVER do. Yet, young people today have lost so much of what I was raised with:

Compassion - People are so cold-blooded these days. They don't consider it as BEING "cold," but they just think of it as being "normal." They think of being compassionate as being "weak." They are quick to tell others to "toughen up."
Manners - People don't have the sense of even BASIC social courtesies. When I was young, I was taught by my mother that when I walked into a room, I was supposed to acknowledge anyone already there. Either say "Hello," "Good morning/afternoon/evening" - SOMEthing. I would NEVER walk into a room and act as if it was empty. I didn't snatch things out of anyone's hand. I didn't slam doors. I didn't leave without saying goodbye. I didn't walk into other people's homes or rooms without knocking. I didn't go into other people's refrigerators or cabinets without permission. If I did eat at someone's home, I offered to help clear tables or help with dishes. I said, "Please" and "Thank you." ... Just basic stuff!

Elder respect - People do not accord any respect to age anymore. They don't hold doors for elders. They don't tone down their language for strangers or elders in public. They have no problem raising their voice or having "an attitude" with elders. (And when I was coming up, an "elder" person wasn't necessarily and "old" person. Back when I was a kid, anyone a few years older was "elder" to me. I can remember having to call my choir directer - who was about 7 years older - "Sister Gail." In my house, if someone was older, they were addressed as "auntie," "Miss," "Brother" or "Mister."  If I didn't know their name, they were "Sir" or "Ma'am.") And let me tell you something real: I would have chewed my tongue off before I would EVER have raised my voice or used a "tone" with my mother about anything. She didn't have to be right, she was just "Mama." I had no pride at all when it came to my mother because I knew that no matter what or how she said something to me, it was out of love and wanting to teach me something. You say the wrong thing to a young person today and if it bothers their nerves, you'll just about get cussed out!

General Respect & Self-Respect - I don't know why I am surprised at the lack of respect toward elders since most people don't respect their peers or themselves... People today will say the most amazingly crazy and revealing stuff on PUBLIC social network sites. It's as if they don't think that a boss or a parent or someone they SHOULD respect will ever see or hear about what they post.


But.

The basic truth about the times we live in is that  while we may not be able to change what others do or how they act, we can encourage them. AND we CAN change our own behavior. Personally, I am committed to work on MY own behavior. I will treat others as they deserve to be treated & pray that God help me to treat them BETTER than that! (LOL) And I am trying to live my life in a posture of thankfulness and prayer for forgiveness and protection.

We truly are living in the last days. I know people have been saying that for years, but the thing is: If these are not "the last days" for the world, they could be OUR last days as individuals. So when we are thinking of pleasing or displeasing the Lord God, we don't need to be thinking so much about the endtimes and judgement of THE WORLD, but of the coming end and judgement for OURSELVES. 

I know that everyone in my family has had their warning. I just hope that they take it seriously and not get caught taking their last breath, living in unconcern the way people were as described in Matthew 24:37-38 

"For the coming of the Son of Man will be just like the days of Noah. For as in those days before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the ark"

... And then what?

Anyway, that's my little rant for the morning. I do have hope that those who God calls His, will hear His voice and heed it. I am going to continue this thought in the next immediate post...

Peace
--Free

Monday, September 06, 2010

Betrayals & Cowardice

Here's a question for you:

Have you ever been lied to or betrayed by someone you really, truly believed you could trust? You know, like in one of those horror films where, at the end of the movie, the killer turned out to be the sweet & smiling best friend or lover?

Hmmm... Why do I bring this up? Not because I have that experience, but because I have known people who have had it. And because I am wondering if I am going to have the experience. Time will tell & when it does, I will surely open up and post about it here.

Here's the thing: No one wants to believe that they have misjudged someone so badly. You don't want to believe that someone close to you could be so conniving, but... when you start seeing signs...

Oh well, I will keep you up on this little situation that I am watching. Everything that is done in the dark will come out in the light.

Peace
--Free

Saturday, September 04, 2010

Let Me Tell You How Good God Is

I feel like I need to testify!

Just a week ago, I was feeling as if my whole world was closing in on me. I was in SUCH despair. If it were not for my faith in God, I would have committed suicide. (Satan was whispering it to me a lot!)

Finally, I just threw up my hands and cried out to God.

Without going into details here (yet), I can tell you that God answered my prayers and moved a big old mountain out of my way. He not only moved the mountain, He picked me up and carried me past where it had been. One day soon, I will go into detail. For now, I am just thanking and praising the Father, Son and Holy Ghost.

You can laugh, scoff, call me gullible - I don't care. I can tell you this:

I serve an awesome, mighty, loving Father God!!!


Peace
--Free

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Communi-fusion!

I need to know that I am not the only one who has this problem:

There is someone very close to me (the closest of anyone in the world), but we have the hardest time communicating.

When we talk and I say one thing, it's as though this person hears something completely different. I'm not sure if they really are NOT understanding me, or if they CHOOSE not to understand me.

I can say on Monday, "The sun is shining." On Tuesday, when it's raining, I can say, "It's raining today." On Thursday, another sunny day, when we are having an argument about the weather, and I say, "The sun is shining again," this person will say, "See, you lie. You said it was raining."

Huh?

Then we get into a worse argument because I find myself frustrated, trying to explain that I'm NOT lying when I say it's nice TODAY, but that it was raining on Tuesday. This person will go on and on about the time I did say it was raining. In the end, I start to feel like, well, damn, I MUST be lying because the person is right - I DID say at some point that it was raining and now here I am saying that the sun is shining...

Yeah.

I'm in Hell.

How do you fix such broken communication? How do you even START to fix it when those are the kinds of conversations that happen? (OK, the conversations are not really about the weather, but you know what I mean.)

It wasn't always like this. It just seems that when this person gets under the least bit of stress, wires get crossed and this is how we end up discussing anything.

I really, really need to figure out a solution to this. I've prayed about it, read books about it, and searched every way I can think of to communicate differently. Nothing has worked.

Anybody else ever deal with this kind of situation? Got any advice? And don't tell me to just walk away from this person. I can't. I love them too much. I just need to know how to deal with this or correct it so that I don't end up going nuts!

**SIGH**

Peace
--Free

Friday, August 20, 2010

Why the Health Chart...

I just posted a health chart that my aunt sent to me. One of the reasons I truly believe in the benefits of foods and herbal/vitamin supplements is because I have been my own "test rat!" LOL. Here is something that happened to me recently:

I woke up one morning at the end of last month with my right ankle slightly swollen and feeling sore. I joked on Facebook that I had managed to sprain my ankle in my sleep. That day and for the next day, my ankle remained sore and puffy. After a couple of days, the LEFT ankle started up. 

Both ankles got more and more swollen over the next few days. One of my nieces teased that I now had "cankles." That was funny for about 10 minutes, but gradually, my ankles hurt bad enough that I had trouble walking normally. My feet started to swell also. The skin felt feverish and was uncomfortable to the extent that I kept the covers off them at night.

Of course, I was starting to get worried.

Now, not having health insurance at the moment (and never having needed it before except for checkups, etc), I had to do my own research. Thank God for the Internet...

First, I searched on "swollen ankles," then I tried searching for information on "swollen ankles and feet," throwing in filters such as "causes of," "as symptom of," etc.  

I came up with different common possible causes: congestive heart failure, sprains, gout...

I can't remember right now just how I got to a page that put me on the right track, but: my chronic anemia (which I was aware of) was a possible cause. 

Apparently, my low iron level was the culprit. 

I was diagnosed as anemic when I was very young. Of course, when I was younger, I had my mother around to make sure I got the right foods to solve the problem: spinach, lima beans (yuck!), beef liver, beets and broccoli... All the foods kids just love, right? LOL... Mama even let me have sips of red wine (she'd heard about that being good for anemics) and she made sure that I was limited on "soda pop" and other sugary foods (I think the doctors gave her some reason to do that).

When I got older and more in control of my own diet (read that as "teenager"), I upped the bad foods (Mama didn't know about all the gallons of Dr. Pepper I was slurping!) and gradually got away from the "good" foods. When I really thought I was grown - yeah, you know! - I developed HORRIBLE eating habits. I was one of those "skinny heffas" who could eat three loaves of bread, deep-fried in butter and covered with a warm Snickers bar and lose more calories chewing that I did by eating the food.

And my problems began. 

I was constantly fatigued (and had fatiguing jobs!) and had miserable menstrual problems. I had trouble concentrating and my moods could be whoozy...

So. When I was around 35 or so, I started getting every cold and virus that went around. I was so tired that I felt like I was struggling just to get through the day. I went to the doctor who did blood work. When he got the results back, he was shook! He was scared to let me drive home. (Understand that I have a high fear of being hospitalized.) In lieu of going to the hospital, I promised the doctor that I would go home and get off my feet and IMMEDIATELY start the regimen of iron he put me on. He gave me some kind of shot and written instructions for taking the iron: something like 3 tablets three times a day for X amount of days, then 2 a day for X amount of days.... On and on until I was down to 1 tablet 3 times a day. ForEVER!!! He made me promise to come back for follow-up lab work in a few weeks and to call him if I felt anything out of whack.

Yeah, yeah, yeah...

I did take the iron pills. Well, okay - I took at least ONE of the at least ONCE a day. Mostly I just forgot. I think I lost the paper with the dosing instructions. LOL.

Fast forward to me being 49 and dealing with too much else in life to remember to take an aspirin if I had a headache, and... I let the anemia creep back in.

ANYway,

Because I do keep vitamins and herbal supplements on hand, and because I do actually take some of them, I did have iron pills around. Within ONE day of taking just TWO iron pills three times a day, the swelling in my ankles and feet started to abate. The pain was completely gone by the beginning of the third day. Now - it's been about a week and a half that I started the iron. All the pain is gone, most of the swelling is gone. All because I took my iron pills...

Here's the scary part (other than the fact that there are people with more serious health problems who can't go to a doctor...): Had I NOT figured out the problem. Had I just let this thing run its course, this is what could have progressed (according to the faq on womenshealth.gov):

What will happen if my anemia goes untreated?


Yeah. So I am a firm believer in doing what you can to look after yourself. Please talk to your doctor (if you have one), do your own research, ask questions and - most important of all - don't let things go to far when you even just THINK something might be wrong...

Peace (and good health)
--Free



Health Chart

My Auntie J sent this to my email. I am a BIG believer in the health benefits of the right foods. Enjoy, please!


   Apple s
Protects your heart
Prevents constipation
Blocks diarrhea
Improves lung capacity
Cushions joints
Apricots
Combats cancer
Controls blood pressure
Saves your eyesight
Shields against Alzheimer's
Slows aging process
Artichokes
Aids digestion
Lowers cholesterol
Protects your heart
Stabilizes blood sugar
Guards against liver disease
Avocados
Battles diabetes
Lowers cholesterol
Helps stops strokes
Controls blood pressure
Smoothes skin
Bananas
Protects your heart
Quiets a cough
Strengthens bones
Controls blood pressure
Blocks diarrhea
Beans
Prevents constipation
Helps haemorrhoids
Lowers cholesterol
Combats cancer
Stabilizes blood sugar
Beets
Controls blood pressure
Combats cancer
Strengthens bones
Protects your heart
Aids weight loss
Blueberries
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Stabilizes blood sugar
Boosts memory
Prevents constipation
Broccoli
Strengthens bones
Saves eyesight
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Controls blood pressure
Cabbage
Combats cancer
Prevents constipation
Promotes weight loss
Protects your heart
Helps haemorrhoids
Cantaloupe
Saves eyesight
Controls blood pressure
Lowers cholesterol
Combats cancer
Supports immune system
Carrots
Saves eyesight
Protects your heart
Prevents constipation
Combats cancer
Promotes weight loss
Cauliflower
Protects against Prostate Cancer
Combats Breast Cancer
Strengthens bones
Banishes bruises
Guards against heart disease
Cherries
Protects your heart
Combats Cancer
Ends insomnia
Slows aging process
Shields against Alzheimer's
Chestnuts
Promotes weight loss
Protects your heart
Lowers cholesterol
Combats Cancer
Controls blood pressure
Chili peppers
Aids digestion
Soothes sore throat
Clears sinuses
Combats Cancer
Boosts immune system
Figs
Promotes weight loss
Helps stops strokes
Lowers cholesterol
Combats Cancer
Controls blood pressure
Fish
Protects your heart
Boosts memory
Protects your heart
Combats Cancer
Supports immune system
Flax
Aids digestion
Battles diabetes
Protects your heart
Improves mental health
Boosts immune system
Garlic
Lowers cholesterol
Controls blood pressure
Combats cancer
Kills bacteria
Fights fungus
Grapefruit
Protects against heart attacks
Promotes Weight loss
Helps stops strokes
Combats Prostate Cancer
Lowers cholesterol
Grapes
Saves eyesight
Conquers kidney stones
Combats cancer
Enhances blood flow
Protects your heart
Green tea
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Helps stops strokes
Promotes Weight loss
Kills bacteria
Honey
Heals wounds
Aids digestion
Guards against ulcers
Increases energy
Fights allergies
Lemons
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Controls blood pressure
Smoothes skin
Stops scurvy
Limes
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Controls blood pressure
Smoothes skin
Stops scurvy
Mangoes
Combats cancer
Boosts memory
Regulates thyroid
Aids digestion
Shields against Alzheimer's
Mushrooms
Controls blood pressure
Lowers cholesterol
Kills bacteria
Combats cancer
Strengthens bones
Oats
Lowers cholesterol
Combats cancer
Battles diabetes
Prevents constipation
Smoothes skin
Olive oil
Protects your heart
Promotes Weight loss
Combats cancer
Battles diabetes
Smoothes skin
Onions
Reduce risk of heart attack
Combats cancer
Kills bacteria
Lowers cholesterol
Fights fungus
Oranges
Supports immune systems
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Straightens respiration

 
Peaches
Prevents constipation
Combats cancer
Helps stops strokes
Aids digestion
Helps haemorrhoids
Peanuts
Protects against heart disease
Promotes Weight loss
Combats Prostate Cancer
Lowers cholesterol
Aggravates 
Diverticulitis
Pineapple
Strengthens bones
Relieves colds
Aids digestion
Dissolves warts
Blocks diarrhoea
Prunes
Slows aging process
Prevents constipation
Boosts memory
Lowers cholesterol
Protects against heart disease
Rice
Protects your heart
Battles diabetes
Conquers kidney stones
Combats cancer
Helps stops strokes
Strawberries
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Boosts memory
Calms stress

 
Sweet potatoes
Saves your eyesight
Lifts mood
Combats cancer
Strengthens bones

 
Tomatoes
Protects prostate
Combats cancer
Lowers cholesterol
Protects your heart

 
Walnuts
Lowers cholesterol
Combats cancer
Boosts memory
Lifts mood
Protects against heart disease
Water
Promotes Weight loss
Combats cancer
Conquers kidney stones
Smoothes skin

 
Watermelon
Protects prostate
Promotes Weight loss
Lowers cholesterol
Helps stops strokes
Controls blood pressure
Wheat germ
Combats Colon Cancer
Prevents constipation
Lowers cholesterol
Helps stops strokes
Improves digestion
Wheat bran
Combats Colon Cancer
Prevents constipation
Lowers cholesterol
Helps stops strokes
Improves digestion
Yogurt
Guards against ulcers
Strengthens bones
Lowers cholesterol
Supports immune systems
Aids digestion