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Tuesday, June 05, 2012

A New Obsession (Bath Bar)

So, I am doing something that I don't often do: plugging a site. Sorry. Can't help it. I'm in love with the products over there.

Everyone who knows me knows that I have two shopping addictions: purses and perfumes. With current finances being a bit um, er... bleak, I don't get to indulge as much. But. I have a great fam and lovely friends. I usually get a gift or two right around this time of my upcoming birthday. LOL

When I was told by one of my friend's (who is too lazy to shop for my gift) to look around for something I might like to have, I happened across the site I have to tell you about: Bath Bar. It's where you can order lotions, scrubs, perfumes... all kinds of goodies - in a scent you get to customize. How cool is that? And I don't mean you get to throw together something and pay three arms and a stem cell for. (I've seen those other sites...) The prices at Bath Bar are really decent. (So decent that I don't feel bad at all for putting the site on my birthday Wish List. I told my one friend how glad I am that he hates shopping since I found the site this way.)

Here's what won me over big time: I had a question about a product, so I emailed in. Let me tell you what - I not only got a lickety-split response, but I got it from the actual owner, Kristina Vogel herself. (I didn't know this at the time, but she's kind of a big deal as a make-up artist. You wouldn't believe how sweet she came across in the email. This is a lady who takes her business seriously but with a side of fun.)

So..... What did I get to order? Well, just a really nice mix of scents that I hope will replace all those OTC scents that last about as long as it takes me to finish dressing and get out of the house. I am loving the idea of the essential oils because that's got to last longer than the alcohol-based crap at the discount counters of some stores.

At any rate, I do suggest you cruise over to the site and look around. It's pretty cool that the shipping is extremely reasonable (you know how we Alaskans are about that) and - I love this - you can get sample-sized orders in case you are trying to play around with a scent mix. By the way, there are products for both genders. If you men don't want to shop for the ladies in your life, go ahead and spoil yourselves.

I wish I felt a bit more coherent today so I could be sure I'm getting across to you how cool the Bath Bar site is. I will end by saying this: I'm going to put Bath Bar permanently on my list of Places I Want Gifts From (In Case Anyone Asks). LOL

Peace
--Free

P.S.: And, in case you are wondering, I did not write this post because I got any kind of free products.

Sunday, June 03, 2012

Peek Or Boo?

I am sitting here still laughing about something that happened really early this morning. I have a guy friend who is often out of town. Depending on where he is at the moment, I can call him up when I am sleepless (and I usually am). Sometimes he will text me to see if I am sleepless (and usually I am).

This morning when he called, I was glancing over the trashy celebrity news I just love. I mentioned to him something about a certain pop singer and her recent nude pics and teased that I'd send him the link. He just about yawned the Grand Canyon. "What part of her ass haven't I already seen?"

I flashed back to something I used to tell our girls about not making themselves cheap. Back in the day - what - like 15 years ago, when the kids were around 20 or so - I'd tell them what I'd been taught about leaving a little something to be looked for. These days (and probably back then too) no one has to look hard to see what a woman's got going on. I personally feel like I could consult with a gynecologist on behalf of half the female celebrities out there today.

My friend, as a man, says that he is very turned off when a woman shows off her assets to anybody with a pair of eyes. I think that's true for most men I know and I have four brothers.

Now here's my question: if men are so "turned off" by a woman's cheap ways, then why are so many of these chicks getting press? Somebody is looking at the photos and it can't all be gay women, right?

I asked "R" about this and he had to laugh. "Yeah, well, I didn't say we men don't like to look."

Well, well, well.

LOL. I've never tried to put together the puzzle of a man's mind, but it does amuse me to look at the pieces every now and then.

I let "R" off the hook. I can't say a thing when I talk about loving a man's mind and heart and soul, but just about lose my mind when Denzel flexes an eyebrow or Keanu unbuttons a shirt.

And, by the way, just before my friend hung up, he says, "Ah, so where was that picture you saw of ____?" I sent him the damn link.

(Kind of a lazy post, but I was up too dang early. I'm going back under for a short nap!)

Peace
--Free

Saturday, June 02, 2012

I ❤ This Family of Mine

My fam all chipped in and for an early birthday present, I got a....


... new laptop!

Wow, huh?

I got so excited. I had to pee the minute I saw it. Just went out to get out of the house and to "look" around the electronics store with some fam. Was asked what the laptops on display looked like. You know I love gadgets and I browsed around as if I had money in my wallet. Saw this baby and I fell. in. love.

Guess what? SURPRISE!!! Happy early birthday to my cranky old ass.

Hell yeah.

Maybe this is because they felt sorry for me trying so hard to write on the old one - that I had trouble using with the rigged-up keyboard and mouse after I caused some water damage... Maybe they felt bad that I was always so frustrated because, with my concentration problems, it was throwing me off when I had to load so many different programs separately because of the sluggish RAM and processor... Maybe - and here is what I think might have done the trick - they decided I needed a computer faster than snot rolls down a third grader's face. I guess it doesn't hurt that they know how bored I've been and that working on the book is a huge mental boost. New computer = no excuse not to get more writing done. Or = I stay out of their hair when I get bored and needy for their attention. Hmmmm...

Whatever.

I got a new PC!!! In the words of that dimbo Alexis from Real Housewives of the O.C.: "It's so pre-wee!" Heh heh..

See you guys later. I have a new laptop to figure out.

Peace
--Free

Friday, June 01, 2012

To Parents

How ridiculous is it that I know someone (either personally, very personally or by some association) who, in the past 2 1/2 to 3 months who:

  • Has committed suicide
  • Had a friend/family member commit suicide
  • Has attempted suicide (more than once in one case)
  • Has a child with severe problems 
What's in common in all this (other than the obvious) is that these people felt that they couldn't talk to their parents (or, in one case, couldn't talk to their kids, I guess).

I'm not the most emotionally stable person in a crowd of millions, Lord knows. I've had some rocky times, especially in these last several years. What I do have is someone to talk to. Some things I can talk to my sister about, some things I talk only to one or two of my BFFs about. There are some people I can't bring myself to talk to - not about anything deep or seriously personal or troubling. But I have had someone.

Right now, I know of one young person who is dealing with some very sad and depressing feelings. She has support. I know of about 4 young people who are dealing with just the everyday worries and struggles that come with life. What breaks my heart is that they feel they cannot talk to their parents. That puts the other people they can talk to in a strange position.

I was very lucky growing up. There was nothing I couldn't talk to my mother about. I don't mean that I had no problem in telling her every and anything, but if I had a serious problem - one that affected my emotions or mental state - I could go to my mother. Her love for me was greater than any shame I might feel. Thank God, thank God.  Of course I was embarrassed to talk about some things, but she somehow made it okay for me to deal with that hesitation. (It wasn't like we didn't have the awkward "Mom, do you ever have that not so fresh feeling?" moments. By the way, I always thought that was the stupidest commercial ever made...)

I believe that adults sometimes forget that kids have problems that are serious to them. We have to deal with things like bills, mortgages, college funds, putting up with bosses, spouses or jobs we loathe and other crap. A kid having a first-love fall apart or not being liked by classmates, failing a school subject, worrying about their looks, their smell, their personality, what to do after high school or college - whatever it is kids worry about might not seem like a big deal to us. I think we forget that to a young person the things they worry about weigh on them as heavy as the things we worry about. A burden is burden when you are the one carrying it, no matter how old you are.

The reason I worry about some of the young people I know is because I have personally had more than one of them tell me that they don't like talking to their parents. That scares me. I usually say something to the parents, but in some cases that's no big help. 

One parent I know very well, probably doesn't think this is a big deal, but he has a personality flaw. He's just one of these people who (intelligent as he is) has a huff-and-puff impatience that permeates every pore of his being. I can't imagine his child being comfortable talking to him. I just don't see it. This parent is one of those people who seems to feel that what he can do and be, anyone can do and be. In his mind, here are no barriers to achievement of anything. This is a great attitude. For him. It's served him well. But, good God in Heaven, his kids feel so unable to live up to his expectations. And they don't feel they can talk to him.

This particular young person I know told me about a pretty minor little problem he is having. He isn't sure about a decision he needs to make. I told him to see what his mom and dad thought. His answer to that is what made me write this post. He said, "My folks? You're kidding, right?" And he laughed, but it was the least funniest thing to be said. 

Parents - or whoever you are to a young person - please, please, please open your eyes, ears and hearts. Listen to your kids. Let them know there is nothing they can tell you that will make you not love them or want the best for them. 

My mother was one of those people who knew her kids. A lot of times when I needed her, I didn't even have to open my mouth. She knew me and loved me. She could take my emotional temperature just by thinking about me. Maybe that's a gift some parents have. I don't know, but I think that you can learn to be better in parenting.

I'm so tired of hearing about babies killing themselves or not reaching their potential just because no one heard them.

Peace
--Free

Bad Mood, Nice Day

Woke up feeling crappy, but went out to turn on sprinkler & noticed our tulips in full bloom.

~sigh~

Peace
--Free


Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Ethnicity & Food

Okay, I'm going to piss off a lot of people, but I will go ahead & say it:

Black people (in general & especially) need to eat healthier.

~waiting for hail of stones to stop raining down~

Now that I've gone and put it out there, let me explain what I mean.

Not all black folk eat unhealthily. I know a lot of black (brown, taupe, tan, deep chocolate,etc) people who do watch what they eat and understand why they need to. That said, I also know a LOT of "us" who still use the excuse of "Grandma did" to eat things that are so bad for anyone: lots of pork and "drippings," red meat, salt, salt and salt. I am not joking when I say that I knew an older woman some years back who actually ate salt sandwiches. Did you hear what I said? SALT sandwiches. She would cut up a raw onion, some tomatoes and literally coat this in salt and make a sandwich. Seriously. (She is dead now. Died at around 58 years old.)

My mother was an "old school" foodie - she ate a lot of green stuff, cooked and raw - but she had that salt habit. Salt and pepper were her seasoning staples. She also ate tomato and onion sandwiches. She didn't coat them with salt, but she did use salt.

When babies were born into our family, some of them teethed on pork gristle. Yeah. Kind of gross, but at least there was no salt involved. Yet. (I have one niece who has been a chicken-or-fish-only gal for about 15 years & if I really want to make her ill, I remind her that her teething was done on a pig ear! LOL)

The biggest excuses for a lot of poor eating habits, no matter what your ethnicity is, is: "Mama did it," "It's a black/German/Puerto Rican/Polish/etc thing." Like La Nostra Cosa (hope I didn't mangle that). Yeah, and sometime "Our Thing" will kill your ass. As deadly as it it cool-sounding.

Our family "thing" with food has always been a lot of variety as long as it's battered, buttered, fried or salted. Or all of the above, damnit. I got better about my eating habits as I got older (mostly out of shame), but until I was around 20 and got married, I ate a lot of delicious and bad-for-you food. My first husband was from a country where the food is bland but the people live for-freaking-ever! I'm from Texas. Take a look at what I can tell you about:

Homemade cakes (Pound, Chocolate, Pudding)
Fatback (deep-fried and eaten just like that, drippings poured into vegetables as a seasoning)
Grits, rice and hot cereals (with butter - lots of butter)
Hominy (which is the only "grits" we ate without butter)
Eggs, eggs and eggs (scrambled, sunny-side, runny or hard-cooked - as long as they were salted and sometimes, believe this or not, buttered)
Pork (chops - breaded or not - bacon, skin fried or pickled and funky - aka CHITLINS)
Breads (rolls of all kinds, corn-batter, hoecake, corncake, fried, grilled and sun-cooked)
Greens (always with drippings, salt and a hunk of that damned fatback)

Do you see what I mean about good food & bad habits? It's a joke among black people that we will waste no part of a pig. "From the rooter to the tooter." I mean, seriously, we eat the feet, tails, ears, ass and freaking guts. Ya know. That's not a diet, that's damn near an addiction. I remember the stench that hovered over the kitchen whenever the family sat around cleaning "chitterlings" (my British ex-husband actually called them by the proper name & I damn near laughed my ass into a fit every time he said it. He kind of liked that nasty shit. Ugh!) If the smell of "chitlins" didn't put you off any food until the smell of rotted ass died down, I don't think you can be cured of Pork. You almost couldn't fix chitlins without have the neighborhood knowing. I think the only reason folks eat that mess with so much hot sauce is to give their senses something else to concentrate on while they eat it. I'm sorry, but, damn.

Some food that I heard my parents talk about might not have been bad for the health, but it still just didn't seem right for humans to eat. Let's visualize what "Rocky Mountain Oysters" are, shall we? They are bull's balls. I promise. Apparently, my Grandma Jack just loved her some R.M.O. (What's really nasty is that I hear they have a gelatinous texture. Ewwww!)

But back to my original point. We (meaning anyone who grew up eating unhealthy foods) have got to do better, people.

One of the reasons given for a bad diet (other than the old "Good enough for Mama" excuse) is that "Mama" and her mama & daddy  ate the way they did because of poverty. Okay, a lot of people (especially in this economy) are still feeling impoverished. (And trust me when I say that I can teach you some creative ways to spell "broke.") That's still no excuse not to do what we can. Guess what's free? NOT adding so much salt. NOT adding so much (or any) "drippings." Not cooking everything in a batter or butter or fatty oil.

Guess what else? Not being a diabetic, amputee, kidney patient is cheaper than anything. We can make all the jokes we want about people having "Sugar" (diabetes) and "Salt" (high blood pressure), but that shit isn't even a little funny when it hits home or heart. I know firsthand.

With that little mammy-made rant of mine over, I will say this: I've recently learned that it is possible to do better. And it's not as hard or expensive as we'd like to think and in some ways is cheaper (go price a pound of butter if you don't believe that). It's not easy though. Breaking life-long ways and habits is never easy. Just trying is better than nothing at all.

I recently learned that I can eat my vegetables without curing them in salt. I am having a hard time getting used to eating so many vegetables, but my goal is to eat vegetables as much as I used to eat meat. I'm not giving up on meat (I'd be out of mind to swear off Lucky Wishbone forever!), but I'm not making it a part of every meal as if I can't live without it. I can and of I get any sicker or broker, I will have to.

For Memorial Day, I had a two burgers. One beef patty during the barbecue we had and one Portabello mushroom later when I went back for more. It wasn't bad at all. I consoled myself with the fact that I could have just a thin beef patty but a fat-ass mushroom burger! I think it's partly in the seasonings and partly in the mindset.

As I try new vegetable dishes, I tell myself what my former mother-in-law told me was an old English joke for the newly married virgins: "Just close you eyes and think of England." That never fails to crack me the hell up! I just close my eyes and think of life not on dialysis or in and out of a hospital.

Good eating, everyone. After a couple rough days, I'm having a lucid one so I'm off to work on the book.

Peace
--Free

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Music Flashback: 1982

Who hasn't felt like this at one point or another? I used to listen to this song and just feel like, "Ohhhh, why???" LOL It's a great song to cry to when you just need to sob through some stress.

Take a listen.

(Oh, and that face he makes when he's really hitting the notes? That's the exact same face I'd be making when I sang along. In the car. Where people could see me. I didn't care.)



"What About Me?"
Moving Pictures

Now, go, have a good day. And don't make that face!

Peace
--Free

Chew On This

(Yeah, corny post title, I know, but...)

As you know, I am trying to eat healthier - doing a lot of fresh veggies (juiced & steamed), fruits and good grains. I've even cut out a lot of the meat I have a hot romance with. (I had a dirty dream about Lucky Wishbone's burger & fries last night.)

The reason for my dietary change is that I am not in the best of medical health right now. This Sarcoidosis and the meds are kicking my ass. Also I am vain. Seriously. I don't like having this skimpy hair, fat ass and inability to strut my stuff. Hard to strut in "sensible shoes" - or in any shoes when you're liable to walk into a wall. So what is a chick to do?

Number one, I am trying to follow doc's orders. No smoking (ohmigoodness, that is a pain in my butt), exercising (yeah, yeah, yeah) and, on my own initiative, the food thing. Plus, after the whole Live Below the Line challenge, I feel differently about cramming bogus calories into my mouth. Somehow, it's harder (not impossible, mind you) to enjoy a burger and fries when you realize there are babies who aren't getting good nutrition let alone some crap like greasy beef and potatoes fried in fat. (I am almost petty-pissed that I am so aware.)

Another motivator is that I feel like what I eat is the one thing I can be so totally in charge of. (To a limit. I mean, I'm not eating caviar with my whole grain toast points.) For about the same amount of money that I was spending on my meats and pre-packaged foods - not to mention my sneak visits to Burger King - I can pick up enough greens and rainbow foods to keep me full and feeling better. See, I've made things interesting by thinking in color.  (Screw some Skittles, I got my own thing going on.)  Check out my box of Crayons:

The "Greens" are collards, kale, spinach, peas, cabbage and broccoli. The "Rainbows" are the bananas, apples, oranges, carrots and my beloved mangoes. I'm even starting to get a groove for bell peppers that are not surrounded by ground beef and pasta. (Okay, I still miss "Mama's Texas Spaghetti recipe!) Next week I'm going to experiment with "Earth Tones" of mushrooms and beans. Someone told me about a killer burger made completely with mushrooms and seasonings. And I haven't forgotten my background beige/taupe with the tofu for fun.  Salt is a struggle so I try to be moderate. I love olive oil so that's no biggie.

I can do this. I just have to keep myself interested. I have a strange mind, but I have learned how to play with things to keep myself on track. Some folks claim a method to their madness, I have a plan for my peculiarities. Yes, indeed.

I have to remind myself that there are some hefty-assed vegetarians out there. I know a couple. So, I am watching the fruit - because of the sugar and other, um, reasons. Last night I went to bed full of some peaches and nectarines that my nephew bought me and I woke up a few hours later breaking Jesse Owens' track record to get to the bathroom. Learned something about that fruit: Mess around and eat the wrong thing and you better not take a deep nap. Be in deep shit in a very literal way. (I do put out too much info at times, don't I? Sorry.)

Anyway, I stumbled across an interesting video over on Hulu tonight while I was folding clothes. Really I  only queued it because the title caught my eye and folding clothes bores the snot out of me, but I'm glad I caught the vid. It made me feel like I am doing a good thing for my health. In case you want to check it out, here is the link & it's called "Chow Down."

Enjoy.

Peace
--Free

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Thank You

To Daddy, Grandad Bud, Uncle Sonny, Darrell, Joe, Chuck, Chubby, Santierra, Eric, Jean-Paul, Rod and all the soldiers and their families.

I love you & I love my country.



Peace
--Free

Friday, May 25, 2012

Getting Down To It

I am actually getting some writing done. With the insomnia I am having the last couple of days, I figure I might as well put the long waking hours to good use. The best time is between 11 at night (once everyone else is sleeping) and 3 in the morning (before D.J. gets good and wound up for the Morning Hollers). My niece has taken charge of making sure I get the writing done since I seem to listen to her better than to the men in my life. She has the nerve to order me around: "I need to see at least 3 pieces by____." She's 23 years old and forgets I can still kick her ass - if I could get to North Carolina, lift one leg and not lose my balance and manage to find her ass with my foot! LOL

It feels good to focus on something positive instead of brooding about bills and other crap I can't seem to control right now. Avoidance = good therapy...

I do have one distraction. I have been playing this game called "Millionaire City." It's my favorite thing to do when holding on phone calls. (Good excuse, huh?)  I must be such a child at heart because I have a weakness for all things Sims, and (formerly) Farmville. I haven't played my Sims game in ages. My computer is too old and crochety to keep up with all the graphics and the game is nothing without the graphics. Bummer. (Yeah, I know, I need to quit competing with Peter Pan for the crown of Child King.)

What's funny is that, as I write, I want so bad to share it all here on the blog. That's been tough - keeping stuff from these posts. You know how I get on my rants, but I've had to save them.

To be able to work would be ideal & my heart is breaking right now because there is a dream position in the place where I used to work. I just saw it this morning (because, for some reason I still look at the job bulletins) and forgot for a moment that I wouldn't be able to compete. Since I can't manage anything complex right now, writing is the next best thing. Writing is saving me.b  m,  n

Writing is such a calming thing for me to do. When I write, even though I am thinking about life and all the drama, I am not stressed by it all. It's almost like I am writing about someone else. I wish.

Well, not much to give you in this post. Just asking for your good thoughts and encouragement to keep coming my way. The letters from you guys have slacked this past two weeks, but I've gotten some good mails. Got a couple of strange ones also. Those folks have gone onto the SPAM list. I do worry about people and their compulsions sometimes. Maybe one day I will share some of the stranger, sicker, weirder and plain What-the-Hell emails. Maybe. Then again, I don't want to give you nightmares. I will give you a taste: there is one guy (?) who writes. Calls himself The Sheik. Says he is wealthy, kind of hot for me and will make my every wish come true. Perfect, right? You'd think I'd be mailing him my home address embossed on a pair of silk drawers, yes? Ummm... NO. He has one desire of his own: to lick my toes. First of all, that plain weirds me out. Second of all, even if it didn't gross me out, I have a thing about my feet. Stay the hell away from the peds, you freak.

Anyway.

I am going to get back to taking care of other chores now. I need to get stuff out of the way so that I can get back on the writing stool tonight. I have Kita watching over me to make sure I stay on the J.O.B. I can maybe get done:



Peace
--Free

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

For BFF "T"

I needed a smile right about now & this might have done it. I had almost forgotten about it, but remembered it while talking to two of the BFFs. Sent it to T via email and she said she snorted wine out her nose. (It's funny, but... really T? We might have to look into broadening your downtime activities, sis!)

Anyway, I saw it over at G+ and I'm pretty sure I kind of rolled my eyes or something, but it is pretty funny because of the caption:

"You're welcome."

Now, let's see a show of hands from all the guys that are rating this up there as #1

LOL. Whatever.


Peace
--Free

Oh, Whoa, Woe

My mother taught me many things and one of them was to never boast about what you won't do. I didn't quite get it back when she was teaching me this, but I do now.

I'm against the wall here. Looks like I have to make some super-tough financial decisions and one that is bugging the piss out of me is bankruptcy.

How the hell did I get myself to this place?

Right now, I am mentally kicking the shit out of my can't-be-ex-soon-enough. Not that this is all his fault, but... I should learn to listen more to my head than to my freaking heart.

All morning, this has been pattering on my mind like rain hitting a tin roof. I did laundry thinking about this, vacuumed, paced the porch, talked to two of the BFFs and Kita Kat - all with this hovering on the edge of every thought. I am pretty sure that this is how people go crazy a little tiny bit at a time.

What I hate most about the idea of bankruptcy is that, to me, it seems a whole lot like stealing. I mean, I did get goods or services for a price that I now cannot finish paying. Bankruptcy vs Stealing. Difference? Not much except intent.

 Dilemma, dilemma, dilemma. By not filing, I am only sinking deeper and deeper into a pit that, short of winning a lottery or a lost-lost rich relative finding and taking pity on me, is only getting an inch deeper every moment. The bad thing is, even my wealthy relatives are scrimping these days. (Is there humor in that?) By filing, I am signing off on a lot of self-esteem and throwing the towel right the hell in wherever thrown towels go.

I have a headache now. Think I am going to mull this some more - see if any bright ideas pop into my head. Meantime, I'm going to make some calls for advice and do some G+ therapy looking at shit like this:


Okay. That helped a little. Not much, but Number 7 gave me ideas...

Peace
--Free

*Sigh* Cravings

Not loving this whole vegetable juice thing, but I know that it's good for me. I know that because like anything "good for you," this diet sucks chunks. And are my sister & niece being any help? I don't know, let's see what they had for lunch today:

Some nicely seasoned wings from a really good Chinese place up the street.



Oh, and this is while I was downstairs fixing my lunch:
Rabbit food. Rabbit food that takes forever to turn into rabbit juice.


I was feeling pretty evil by the time I finished chopping and blending. Those gals must have forgotten I was an armed woman. Armed but still somewhat sane. I kept my violent tendencies in check & drank my damned juice, but...



This is the look I gave those bitches:



Yeah.

Damnit. Can't smoke, don't want to take up drinking & everything else is either illegal or should be...

This weekend, I'm having a Lucky Wishbone hamburger!


Peace
--Free

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Today's Attitude Is...

 This




And/Or...

THIS!









Because, if you mess with me today, I'm gonna have something for your ass






Hell yeah!

Um, Peace?
--Free


LOL!!! Somebody's with me on this. This wasn't up but about 3 seconds & I got a message to add the version with the lyrics! Daaaang.... This must be a wrong day for more than a few folks.... SMH 




Sunday, May 20, 2012

My Personal Weirdities

My family tells me often that I am a unique kind of person. What they mean (and what my sister and one of the BFFs will come right out and say) is that I have a lot of strange traits or ways about me. What makes me laugh is that some people think I should be offended to be thought of that way. Uh, I'm not, thank you. I'm good with the fact that I am a little out of the normal mold.

I flaunt my uniqueness. I say that I "flaunt" it, but when the BFF dared me to post about it, I did cringe a little. But I have this awful habit. If someone dares me to do something.... (Other than anything involving my phobias!)

So here goes:

Food: I don't like to eat in public. I will though. Of course, I will. Now that I am on prednisone, I'll sit at Queen Elizabeth's table and take food off Philip's plate. Are you kidding me? That's now. I'm less shy now, but when I was a teenager, I'd starve before I'd let anyone out of my close circle see me chewing. (I don't know why, except I read once where a rich chick said, no one looks good chewing or - I don't know what else, maybe she said blinking or something? shrug.)

Relaxation: I will sometimes sleep "ready-roll." That means in my clothes, not in anticipation of fire. My mother hated this when I was younger. She'd sometimes come and wake me up at a crazy hour of the night just to make me put on pajamas. My father didn't think it was all that bad. He'd tell my mom that I was saving her time on laundry. (I have this habit because I always go to sleep either reading, writing or watching TV. Unless I get to have sex. Then the Vicky Secret stuff comes out and goes on full parade. Before I got this fat, I sometimes wore cute stuff to bed just to feel cute. But since I'm fat and separated, no sex. No sex, no reason not to read myself to sleep. It's all good.)

Style: I will cut or dye my hair on a whim. I have no problem doing something strange to my hair because it's the one thing that always came back or could be purchased. Once, I asked a stylist to cut my hair so drastically short that she spent a couple hours trying to talk me out of it. As she put the razor to my nape, she was saying, "Are you absolutely sure?" Then there was the time I dyed my hair with some kind of streaking kit. I was in Texas and it was full-on summer. Between the dye kit and that sun, I looked like that crazy-assed demon spawn that is Nicki Minaj. Don't know who this fool is?

this is a relatively "normal" look for Miss Crazy

Keep in mind that I'm a tad bit more, shall we say chocolate-toned than she is. I'm saner, but darker.

Yeah. So. Moving along...

Mood: It doesn't take much to make me laugh, cry or get really, really pissed off. At Mach 10. (I'd like to blame this on Sarc or meds or hormones, but...) I have what one of my brothers calls a "mercurial" personality. In other words, I can be kind of a sweetheart, a softy or a bitch - with a short time lapse rotation. Usually, you can take a couple of deep breathes in between my mood changes. ("Mercurial." Hmph.) I prefer to think that I am just kind of sensitive and misunderstood & I think that my medical condition does make things worse. However, when I say this to my sister or any of the BFFs, they just kind of go, "Uh... yeah. All right." (I'll get some phone calls the minute I publish this post, watch.)

People: I'm very quick to either like or dislike someone. I think I have good judgement about people. I always pick up on a "vibe" when I meet people. Usually, I am right, but I have, at times, been really, really  wrong. Not often. (I absolutely loathed a woman who is now one of the BFFs, and let's not forget that I married the Permian Basin Pycho.) And I'm the kind that I make the people I like a part of my life forever. Good people are not disposable.

Fantasy Life: (This one is really the most embarrassing.) I once wrote a liar-letter to Michael Jackson so that he'd want to meet me. I was about 13 or 14 and I wrote a fan letter lying about how I was really sick and all I'd ever wanted was to meet him. How freaking manipulative is that? And it's not even very creative, shame on me. (Good thing they didn't have Make A Wish back then or I'd've have done something really pathetic like shave my head and pretend to have leukemia or something.) By the way, I got busted. The letter came back as "Undeliverable" because of a bad address or something. My mother found out what I did. I got my ass whipped with a switch she made me pick from the front yard and I was grounded for a couple weeks. (I think she even outed me in church, but I can't remember for sure.)

Another weirdity involving Mr. Jackson: I told people who didn't know our family well that I was related to the Jackson Five. My mother's maiden name helped with that little lie. I got away with this for most of my Middle School years. I don't know why people didn't wonder why, if I had such famous relatives, we didn't exactly live the lifestyle.

(I'm thinking about all this now and wonder why I was such a little tale-teller when I was young? Damn. I was like a politician under oath!)

You know what? I don't even want to play this game anymore. This thinking about things I've done makes me pretty sure I need to go and pray. Right now.

Peace
--Free

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Them, They, Us

Now that I have told you about my "friend," I feel free to tell you about a conversation he, D and I had a few weeks ago. (We do this weird thing when Rick's in town where we call D to discuss life, politics and, of course, my book - which is coming along slowwwly.) It was a discussion that almost turned into a heated debated, but ended up being a learning experience.

The topic: Race and the media (or race in the media).

My friend (I will call him "Rick") was talking about some news article. He got all heated because it's his feeling that the media generally slants toward negative racial stereotypes. He is Indian (think Eastern not Native American) and has the brain of a researcher and the soul of a civil rights activist. (I do have such interesting people in my life.) D is multi-racial (black and asian/black).

Rick was so upset that I got a little uncomfortable. I mean, I know about the ignorance of racism. I've been a guilty party (when I was younger, dumber and hotter-tempered) and a victim (at times, not as often as could be). Luckily, my skin is pretty thick and my brain is sometimes slow to absorb. When I am in the presence of the extreme stupidity of a bigot, I either blow it off or (and this is a plus side to my medical issues) I miss that shit entirely. Sometimes, I am an hour past the situation before I go, "Oh! Huh? Aw, hell no, they didn't!!!" (LOL) Most of the time, I just don't let it rain on my mental joy parade. Age brings mellow.

That's me. Rick, though, doesn't let too much fly past him. He doesn't look for stuff to get pissed about, but he has a kind of radar for it.

In the conversation we had, I tried to cool it all out by telling him about an Indian comedian I recently heard. The comic said he wins the "rough life" struggle hands down over black people. "You grew up in the "hood?" I grew up in the Third World. You had rats and roaches in your home? I did too and we called it dinner. You had hand-me-down shoes? I made those shoes!"

Thank goodness that Rick didn't think I was being insensitive in repeating the joke. He didn't, but it didn't cool things out much. (D, however, thought that was the funniest shit he'd ever heard and for the rest of the conversation, he'd break out into insane giggles at inappropriate moments.)

Nothing is going to chill Brother Malcom X Ghandi, but he did agree with me on one point. (Thank goodness I had a very clear and coherent few minutes at just the right time.) Here is my whole stance:

Until we all get past the whole "Them, They and Us" mentality, there won't be much understanding. We are somehow infected with the idea of separating ourselves by race, class, gender, likes, dislikes, size of hands, feet, etc. I think it's just such a human thing to compare. (I am almost sure this happens about two seconds after we leave the womb and breathe air.)  It's fine to distinguish  or identify ourselves, but anytime we start comparing - something or someone or some group is going to feel superior or inferior. Since we can't change that mentality, we have to learn to respect (or disrespect) each other as individuals and not as groups. (One day, I'm going to be able to go into Walmart and not cringe with personal shame when I see some black woman popping and rolling her neck as she screams across three aisles for her bad-ass child to "get back over here NOW!" Yeah, I said it.)

I'm really happy to say that Rick gave me a high five on that one. I respect and value his opinion because where I have common sense, he has tons of "book smarts." (You all know I love my geeks, right? Well, he is to Geekdom what Adonis is to hotness. Helps that he's pretty damn hot himself.)

Anyway, even D was able to control his manic giggling long enough to say that I'd given him something to think about. I wish he'd have thought about how his girlish laughter made it hard to keep my train of thought.

Of course, we didn't solve any major world crisis, but we all feel better about the subject. (And if Rick keeps it up, I'm going to make him a freaking red, green and black flag even though I have explained to him that I am a black American and not African-American. Hell, Charlize Theron is more African-American than I am, but that is a whole other discussion...)

Whatever, I hope that one day, we can all just learn to be a little less racially-affiliated and a whole lot more human. That's really the only race that matters to me. Yes, call me Pollyanna & see if I care.

Peace
--Free


Friday, May 18, 2012

The D Man Is Coming Back!!!

Baby Deej will be home tomorrow. I haven't bossed my niece around since she was about 25 (lol), but she had one order when she left for the vacation: send me a pic of my sugar man every day! Mission accomplished...

Here are my two faves:



You're in love, aren't you? Yeah, he does that to all of us!


(I hope this works. I've never uploaded my own vid to Blogger before. It's D.J.s first 4 months.)



Peace
--Free

Busted! (But Happily So)

Um, remember this? Yeah, I got all gutsy and shot off my big mouth. That's easy to do over the phone or in an email. This is why you should never drink or do copious amounts of chocolate before taking on something serious.

I'm busted.

My crush has found me out (like most men, he's a little slow on the uptake). I think it's hilarious that all my dropped hints took a moment to sink in. The big jump I made apparently just confused him. How cute... It's all good, except we are now in that awkward phase of "talking." It was so different when we were just buddies. Now? Now there is that "knowing" thing.

It's cool. He's mature-minded enough (more so than I)  to have a plan in place should things not go as we'd like. His plan: always, always remain friends. I can get down with that. I'm not taking anything more serious than a happy mutual crush. We are both a little tied up emotionally - he's just coming out of a relationship & I'm in the Witness Protection Program for estranged spouses of crazy persons. Nothing going on here but a recognition of our affection. That's damned nice.

Of course I won't name him here, but he is someone I have done a lot of creative work with & my friend D (who lives out of state) introduced us (because we live - mostly - in the same state). Now you know why I adore D. The last several weeks have been tense. I thought I was being side-stepped. Now I just have to put up with D making little jokes when the three of us are on the phone.

This is nice & fun and stress-relieving. Just to have something, someone to smile about in the middle of the madness that is my life right now. He is probably reading this & I've said all I'm going to say about this special friendship for now.

I wanted to post this because I was worried about making a move. I did & it's all good. If you have been hesitating about doing the same thing, well, I hope this encourages you. Most of life is a lot about chances. Go ahead and take some.

Peace
--Free

P.S.: Another piece of joy today? The kids and Baby D.J. are coming home from their vacay tomorrow. I've been in sugar withdrawals without Little Man. See my next post for something beautiful!

British Humor & Mysteries

When I lived in England, I didn't appreciate the humor of British folk. I was too busy trying to figure out how come they couldn't cook worth a shit. Now I realize some of them can cook their asses off & it was just the family I married into who had bad kitchen skills. (Good thing about that is, David thought my tacos were a culinary masterpiece. Tacos were the only thing I knew how to fix. We ate a lot of tacos back then.)

 ~waving to Dave~ "Hey, boo!"

Anyway... there were some things I just did not get about that place and the people. One was the whole wrong side of the car & street crap. (Think I told you about an argument Dave & I had. Ended with me stomping off dramatically to the car & sitting my ass on the wrong side. David loved that so much, he called & told my parents about it.) I won't mention how many times I damn near got killed just crossing the streets. Another time, I got all huffy with a server about my toast being cold before Dave told me that's they way they serve it there. Cold toast & hot sodas. All right.

Still, I adored my in-laws & my temporary home (still adore my other "fam."). But I never got the humor. For some reason, David would be just falling out sick, laughing at stuff that didn't even begin to amuse me. Maybe I was just too young.

These days, I have nothing but love for so many British shows. Of course, I've always loved anything Agatha Christie (even though I had a teenage hate spurt when I found out the original British title of "Ten Little Indians"), especially Hercule Poirot - the books and the David Sachet television series. What is new to me - meaning in the last 8 or 9 years - are the silly shows like "Keeping Up Appearances," "Absolutely Fabulous" and "Mr. Bean."

In addition to the funny stuff, one of my all-time favorites is this brilliant series called "The Dark Beginnings of Sherlock Holmes":

Make sure you watch ALL of the videos

I suppose age and maturity opens us up to a lot of things: humor, kindness, tolerance... I'm glad about the humor thing. I need all the laughs I can get in this life of mine!

Make sure to check out some of these shows. Most of them are on either Hulu, Crackle or YouTube. If I am missing any I should check out, do let me know.



Peace
--Free

Kita on Catnip

My sweetie cat has issues. Here he is on catnip, making love to it. Just rolling all over the floor in it.
Whatta weirdo!
I love this useless bundle of fur...
[from Samsung Infuse]