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Thursday, January 17, 2013

(Re-post) Children & Wisdom


(I was going through some old emails the other day and the one that prompted this post popped out at me. I've been too busy the last couple of days to play, so here's a copy/paste re-post. Enjoy)

I got this in an email & it gave me goosebumps. Maybe because I have been struggling lately over what love really is and what loving someone really means. I have been looking in the Bible for insight on the love between spouses and keep landing on Corinthians 13:4 - Love is always patient; love is always kind; love is never envious or arrogant with pride. Nor is she conceited.

When I saw the answers these children gave, I realized they understand love a lot better than I do. The question "What is love?" was posed to children aged 4 to 8 by a group of professionals (according the the email) and these are the answers given:

  • 'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.' Rebecca- age 8
  • 'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.'Billy - age 4 ('Safe in their mouth.' What a beautiful thought!)
  • 'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.' Karl - age 5
  • 'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.'Chrissie - age 6
  • 'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.' Terri - age 4
  • 'Love is when my mummy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.' Danny - age 7
  • 'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more... My Mummy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss' Emily - age 8
  • 'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.' Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
  • 'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,' Nikka - age 6
  • 'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.' Noelle - age 7
  • 'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.'Tommy - age 6
  • 'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.' Cindy - age 8
  • 'My mummy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.' Clare - age 6 (ROFL!!!)
  • 'Love is when Mummy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.' Elaine-age 5
  • 'Love is when Mummy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.' Chris - age 7
  • 'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day' Mary Ann - age 4
  • 'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.' Lauren - age 4
  • 'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' (what an image) Karen - age 7
  • 'Love is when Mummy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.' Mark - age 6
  • 'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget..'Jessica - age 8
And the final one --

Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbour, the little boy said, 'Nothing, I just helped him cry'

(I felt like crying myself when I read that last one. I once heard a minister preach about being a friend by sitting with someone during their suffering and grief. He illustrated his point with Job 2:13 Then they sat down on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights with no one speaking a word to him, for they saw that his pain was very great. The minister said that sometimes when people go through suffering, the best thing to do is to say nothing but to "sit where they sit," in other words, to sit with them in their grief. That little kid could teach everybody something.)
Peace
--Free


P.S.: This is a good time to be busy. Outside looks like this:


HUGE flakes still coming down. No signs of stopping. Ugh, winter.

Monday, January 14, 2013

You Want Cute - Or Comedy?

The weather is apparently having a mood. Here in Anchorage, the temps have parked themselves in the 30-40F range for the past couple weeks. In Australia, they are having a heatwave the The Vandellas didn't sing about. A Net-friend of mine was down near Detroit and felt temps near the 60's,

What is really going on?

Whatever is happening, parts of me love it and part of me is worried. The happy parts are up top: my head and heart are just thrilled. My ass? Not so much. Because this is what the ground looked like today:






Just try switching your ass to walk cute. Break a bone you never heard of.

On the other hand, looking upwards, it was prettier:


 I kept my balance and did the "cute" walk long enough to be flirted with, but the poor man walked into a door while he was checking me out. (~sigh~ I still got it!)

When I checked on an auntie in Texas yesterday, I learned out Alaska temp was a few degrees warmer than Fort Worth's. That's some tricky business.

Hope things are safe wherever you are.

Peace
--Free

Wait Til He Cuts More

Because I am missing him so much, D.J.'s parents are trying to call from different points in their cruise. The first day they were on the ship and having the Bon voyage party, there was too much noise for me to understand what the baby was trying to "say" to me. Turns out, noise wasn't the only factor. Apparently D.J. was charming every woman over the age of anything and getting spoiled for his charms.

"He's eating," his mom reported. "Every woman that sees him falls in love and wants to feed him."

I got another call really late (or really early) a couple hours ago and got to speak two words to the kid. Whenever he gets bored of the telephone, you'll hear strange noises right before his mom starts shrieking at him to "No! Stop spitting!" (His first nasty habit.)

"What's he doing?" I asked when I realized he didn't want to be on the phone with me.

"Eating."

This is ridiculous. The kid has two teeth. Two. He's eaten more food since he left a few days ago than Methuselah had during his whole life.

I warned his mom that she's letting him develop bad habits: first the spitting, now the over-eating.

"It's mostly fruit and veggies," she promised me. "And he doesn't really eat it all - he just takes it to make all the women feel better."

And we wonder why the way to a man's heart is through his stomach? I guess because we start programming them early...

Hopefully tomorrow I will hear more from D.J. himself. If he's not too busy on his food tour. Hopefully, yes, because I miss the little brat.

Peace
--Free

Laughing By Myself

You ever do something so stupid or silly or funny that you not only laugh at yourself, but have to call and tell someone else about it? Not me. Well... not often, but...

About five minutes ago, I damn near gave myself a heart attack.

Because I quit smoking (and because I am a lover of all things that smell good), my nephew bought me one of those automatic air freshener doo-dads. You know what I mean - the thing that spritzes the air every so often? Yeah. It's pretty cool. I don't have to burn through my candles every couple of weeks. I set the timer to spritz from 15 seconds to 10 minutes and - spitzzz! - I get a nice fresh shot of Vanilla Bean fragrance. It's really good if I don't forget not to stand right in front of the nozzle.

Anyway.

I climb into bed to relax a bit (notice I didn't mention sleep) and play around on the social networks, maybe listen to a little music - anything but sleep. Sleep is not something that happens much for me these days. Anyway, it's too damn hot to sleep. So... I'm lolling around, bed-dancing to random Shoutcast jazz, pretending I can sing and having a good old time. Then it happens. (Well, it happened a few minutes after I came across a picture of a snake.) I close my eyes, just to rest them for a moment. I can't get the image of that damn snake out of my mind. Pretty soon, I'm doing the little eww-shiver thing I do whenever I think of snakes. And

SPITZZZ!!!

Popping hell! I screamed and damn near fell backwards out of the bed. For a split second, I could've sworn something slithered across the foot of my bed.

My poor roommate is actually awake for a bit and up front, watching her TV shows. She came running, bless her heart. I couldn't even play this one off. I told her, then called my sister. When they stop laughing, I can inform them that they are both off my Christmas 2013 list.

If I had a case of insomnia before, I know have whatever the opposite of a coma is. I might not sleep for years.

NOTE: If I know you and find out you laughed at me about this, we're over.

Peace
--Free

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Got Me Going In Circles

I see that quite a few of my G+ pals read the blog. This is why I sometimes use it as a platform for issues that first come to my attention on Google. Right now, I want to explain something I did the other day.

When I first signed up on Google Plus, I was so happy to be free of Facebook that I lost 95 percent of my mind and went on a Circle adding spree. If someone made one decent comment, I added them. If a user profile had anything about Alaska, the Northwest, cold weather or snow tires in their profile - I added them. Pretty soon, I was adding people who weren't even posting in a language I could read or translate!

This "Add Madness" happened in a pretty short period of time. November 2011 is the closest I can come to nailing down my start on Plus. In that 14 or so months, I'd gathered over 3400 people into my Circles. I talked to about 40 of them on a regular basis and was able to pay attention to a few more "social-ebrities" as I call people with good content and a large following. (Actually, there is one fabulous photographer over there who I just l.o.v.e. because he always acknowledges his fans. Beautiful.)

Anyway. A while ago, I decided it was time for some paring of the Circles. I started with trimming people I never saw online anymore, then decided I will keep trimming bases on the following:

  • If you only ever post the rudest or lewdest - I don't want you in.
  • You're argumentative and snotty - or both, well, you don't need to share it with me.
  • You're not a president or royalty, but you can't be bothered to interact with your circlers, then, "Buh-bye."
I've kept only people I can learn from and laugh or respectfully debate with. Even if you are kind of a social-ebrity, if you seem too arrogant or into yourself, I'll just "cut ya" like a drunk sailor.

Okay. So, now that I'm down to a really good group of people, I can enjoy and relax with Plus instead of working it like an unpaid job.

The thing now is, how do I meet new people on Plus? I changed up my profile, hoping to attract only decent people who want to actually share ideas and fun. Either people don't bother much with the reading of profiles, or I screwed up something.

Well, here's the deal: I will add you if you let me know who you are what you're about. That requires either an email, message or anything other than that "Add" button on Plus. I totally ignore those Added You notices now. Totally. They just clutter up my email with willy-nilly nonsense from folks who aren't telling me anything about themselves - except that they obviously didn't read my profile.

Okay. That was my little rant for the day. I know it sounds selfish, but I figure if you do Add me now, it's because you really wanted to. (And, be warned: if you come into my Circles, I will probably introduce you to someone I think you might like to know yourself. That's the way to grow Circles.)

Peace
--Free

Parents and Technology

I just saw something posted online poking fun at parents and the internet. Made me think of Mama. She passed away in 2001 when I was still rocking jackets that had been broken down by a phone like this:

except the battery in mine was the size of a Yugo

Mom was just plain fascinated with that phone. She was also a little pissy about it. She thought that the only person so important and needing to be reached at any given time should be addressed as "President" or "Your Highness." Matter of fact, she felt like even a queen needed peaceful bathroom breaks.

Cell phones were extravagant, in Mom's opinion. There was no real purpose for them other than to be showy. Computers, on the other hand, were wonderful. 

I remember when we got our kids their first computer - a Gateway desktop - and my mother would sit with them while they did homework. Homework was pretty much all they were allowed to do on the computer. Mama would watch while they pulled up articles on Encarta. The way she looked on in awe at the rotating maps and scrolling timelines damn near brought tears to my eyes. I had never seen my mother in such a state of wonder. (I got a little bit worried about her when she started checking out the back of the PC as if she thought there were little green men back there operating the machine.)

Well, if Mom was weird-ed out by the phones and computers back then, I'm pretty sure she'd be throwing holy water on the stuff we all have in our homes now. 

Understand that I come from parents who came straight out of the sticks of places like Big Spring, Texas and Hope, Arkansas. I have an aunt, now in her late seventies, who used to believe that if she turned off a radio mid-song, the same song would continue when she turned on the radio three hours later. (True story. I learned this when I stayed with her for a couple of weeks back when I was around thirteen.)

This is not just about my Mama. A lot of you are going to be laughing with me when I tell you that Mama worried that Gameboys might be the work of Satan. If she'd lived to see it, I guess she'd have keeled right over watching us Skype. I don't even want to think of how she'd have felt about people walking around Walmart, chatting to their unseen Bluetooth devices. We probably would have had to have her committed for treatment.

Not to sound like Grandma Kettle myself, but... The other week, I was marveling over the cool gifts my nephew got for his first birthday. The talking broom really cracked me up (D.J. has a thing for sweeping), but the vacuum cleaner his parents got for him was so cool, I wasn't sure it was really a toy.

It's a Dyson. Seriously.

While I was raving over the "realistic" features, I noticed that the damn thing actually works. It has suction and everything. Think I'm lying? Here's the Sam's Club page - though I think D.J.'s came from Costco. I would be mad, but D.J. actually understands how it works. Hey - anything teaching a male to do housework is cool with me.

I try not to, but can't help but be fascinated by some of the stuff I'm seeing when I go into Best Buy. It's getting embarrassing. The first time I played around with a touchscreen computer at Best Buy, I swear I heard a kid whisper, "Get over it, Grandma."

In the old days, I'd be allowed to smack him upside the head for being rude.

Peace
--Free

Friday, January 11, 2013

Good Days, Bad Days

I'm glad that today is turning out to be a good day for me because yesterday was just hellish. First off, I woke up more tired than when I went to sleep because the T. Rex that lives upstairs apparently thinks that pacing will relieve his insomnia. His lead-foot travelling and grunting all night is not really a problem. I sleep so rarely these days, my body has adjusted so that I can sort of function on a forty minute nod-off. The problem is, I was too tired and uninspired to use lights or a mirror to dress this morning. That wouldn't have been much of a problem if I hadn't had an appointment for an infusion.

Second, my appointment that started out fine, ended up on a sour note. As soon as I get to the doctors' office and the nurse gets me all set up, I crash into a dreamless coma. It probably doesn't help that they administer Benadryl prior to infusion. I don't even notice the first three vitals checks by the nurse (including the thermometer going into my mouth - and ain't it scary that I slept through that?), but near the end of the treatment, I started waking up.

Now, I rarely doze off in public. For one thing, I was traumatized earlier in life by watching my Mama nod off in church one time during a marathon sermon. (We were Pentecostal, so all the sermons were as long as "Driving Miss Daisy".) The nodding off was fine, but when she woke herself up snoring... Yeah. The other thing I hate about people seeing me sleep is that, while I want to believe I look like this -


I worry that I look like something like this -


I certainly didn't feel attractive after the treatment when I woke up, looked around and saw a gorgeous man standing not four feet away. Of course, I wear my lust meter on my sleeve, so I was crazily gaping at the poor guy. I probably looked a whole lot like a female version of the dude that stalks women leaving bars. You know the guy - he's dazed, confused, has two teeth and breath that killed the other 30, but he's sweet and wants you to know that, "You so purty. Really, really purty."

This man was just so gorgeous, really, really gorgeous.

Of course, I tried to rescue myself by feigning indifference. Kind of hard to do when my heartbeat's banging through my shirt like Pepe Le Pew's when he's in heat... I felt awful when I saw that Gorgeous Guy was with a woman who was wearing a wedding ring. I think they were visiting patients, but I didn't get a chance to ask the nurse. The nurse is a super sweet woman, but I was kind of annoyed that she snickered at my embarrassment!

Anyway. That's how yesterday started. It only got a little better when I swung by to see Baby D.J. The little brat is cutting teeth and didn't seem too thrilled to see me. Even worse, I won't see him for seven days because he and his parents left for their cruise last night. I went to sleep feeling sad and missing that little booger.

This is for my little loudmouthed D.J. It's one of his favorite songs for us to dance to. And I think he likes we do the whole

"IT STARTED WITH A WHIS-PER-RRR!!!!"




Peace
--Free

P.S.: Today is good. It's Day 19 without the cigarettes. The sun was shining most of the morning, and I'm destroying this bedroom and re-arranging everything.

Wednesday, January 09, 2013

Music, Intelligence,Reality

As usual, I was over on G+ when I saw something that reminded me of something else. (I write just like I talk. I know, I know.)

This article on classical music and intelligence is going over a theory I've heard before. Classical music is great. Most music is great. I think children should be introduced early to music. Even if the music did nothing but shut a kid up for half an hour, it's a good substitute for "Square Bob Spongepants" or whoever. Here's the thing, though... (You knew there was going to be a thing, didn't you?)

My niece - or as I think of her, the mother of the most beautiful baby in the world - decided a couple months back that Baby D.J. should learn music.

And why not? He already plays me like a fiddle...




Anyway...

My niece has a friend who has offered to teach D.J. how to play music. They are looking for a suitable keyboard.

Now, not to be the ancient auntie who isn't down with all this "newfangled nonsense," but what the heck are you going to teach a one-year old child? Okay - maybe any other year old kid could be taught, but this is D.J. We can't get him to sit still for more than five minutes unless one of us is sitting still and letting him paint our face with Graham Cracker slime. No - I have to take that back. One time he lay still for an hour because he had a fever and was cutting two teeth and his butt was burping out foul things that bewildered all of us. I changed his diaper, the fever broke and he saw his cousin playing with his favorite toy. The war was on.

D.J. is not going to be that un-teachable child who will live his life all out of control, but he is going to be the child who learns by taking things apart and putting them back together. D.J. is not going to be the child who sits quietly to read his Seuss books; he'll be the kid who will hang out of his bed, head to the floor, reading about dragon-slayers. And reading. probably, at the top of his voice.

It might happen, but I'm not taking bets on D.J. sitting still long enough to do something as calm as playing lullabies on a keyboard. He might be rocking out some Jerry Lee Lewis...

I might be wrong. Musical ability runs in the family. Well, it gallops in some part. My sister can sing like Aretha and my little brother can play anything from piano to drums to a trumpet. Too bad all this talent traipsed right past me. I can't even beat a tambourine (and I grew up in a Pentecostal church). I sing so badly that people who really, really love me (or want to sleep with me) try to find it adorable and not hazardous to any mammal within hearing range. It's bad, people. My ex was a professional musician. He caught me singing one time and, when I asked how bad I sounded, he saved his life and the marriage (for then) by remarking that my speaking voice is B-flat.

Let's hope that, if D.J. doesn't have any real talent, that he at least hones his intelligence. If he happens to have something going on, let's hope he turns out like this -



and not this -


Peace
--Free

Tuesday, January 08, 2013

I Have Trouble In Bed

(Not that kind of trouble, so nothing good to see here.)

I have sleep troubles. I am either exhausted and have to fight sleep if I want to have a life, or I can't sleep. When I started on Chantix, I had trouble staying awake. For the first few weeks I could nod off into a coma during a pap smear. And I dreamed a lot of dreams. Not the Disney-colored fun dreams, but those nightmares where I would experience at least one of my phobias in full CGI while paralyzed.

Fifteen days ago, I put cigarettes down for good. At that point, I was so traumatized by all the fresh air in my lungs, I can't remember now whether I slept or not. Now, though, I'm nicotine free.  (Yay me!) I'm also pretty much sleep free. No matter how tired I get, I sit up at night like a twitchy junkie waiting to rob my sleeping roommate  This would be the perfect time for me to foster a colicky two-year old (or teenager with midnight creeping tendencies).

Let me tell you, insomnia is not good for someone like me. I'm already moody, I am manic and highly impulsive, and I have access to the internet. I was just on G+ bitching about the evil nature of Pinterest. Now I'm blogging about this shit. Back in the day, I'd be reduced to counting sheep or re-arranging my closets. These days, there's probably an app for counting sheep and I can't do anything in my closet without pissing off the chick who lives right above me. (This apartment living is a bitch. Walls are so thin, if the neighbors have sex, I want a cigarette after.)

Yeah, I'm in a pissy mood tonight.

You know how when you are sick and can't sleep, you kind of want someone sitting up and checking on you every now and then? (Or is that just me?) Well, if I was sick and not just restless, I'd be dead waiting on my roommate to give a shit. She can sleep like it's an Olympic sport and she's got a title to defend. I've known her for over twenty years and never knew how hard she sleeps. If she's not driving, eating, talking or smoking - she's sleep. And I don't mean she just dozes off - unless "dozing off" means passing out like someone beat the hell out of you with a horse tranquilizer. I'm not sure if she even stays completely awake for sex. I'm going to have to ask her about that.

When I first came to bed tonight, I checked my watch. Just checked again and, after four years, only and hour has gone by.

If I manage to stay sane for another hour and a half, my niece will be getting up in North Carolina. I could call and talk with her for ten minutes before she has to start work.  She works from home and in her PJ's, so I might get another ten minutes of sympathy chat before she pretends her boss is on the work phone and she just has to hang up with me...

I suppose I could do some exercises, but I make noise when I exercise. My neighbors might think I'm having sex or something. Worse, since there are no cars in visitor parking, they'll think I'm having solo sex. Damn. Okay, so that rules out exercise.

The only thing left is finding something to watch on TV. Nothing funny though (I laugh like a guffawing goat when I am over-tired), and nothing that involves any kind of cruelty (or I'll be writing "rant" letters to a television network or something), and nothing with even a hint of male-female physical contact (the solo-sex thing again, because when I get tired...), and that leaves... what? "Caillou"?

What the hell. I'm going to go back over to G+ and read happy affirmations that just piss me off.

Peace
--Free

Someone posted this the other day. It seems fitting for this moment:


Monday, January 07, 2013

What IS Chemistry Anyway?

You know, I haven't been a bitch for  minute, so I have some making up to do... Today's post is all about the mystery of physical attraction. Heat, chemistry, whatever. I don't understand it at all. Apparently none of my close friends get it either. I was talking to a couple of the girlfriends tonight after we heard a Bobby Brown song on the radio. What the heck is the "It" thing that some people have and others lack? You know the "thing" I'm talking about. The thing that makes you drool out of lust or out of disgust. What is that?

There are the folks who, no matter who they are or what they do, they are never going to be the type of people who can even seem nice or kind or sweet or... sexy. Just like there are people who are not attractive by most standards, but are so freaking hot.

There's Edward James Olmos and Lawrence Fishburne - not what most women think of as heart-stoppingly handsome - yet, they can speak or move in a certain way that just makes a woman want to throw her drawers over a lampshade and lose her morals. (William DeVane, when he played on "Knot's Landing" did that for me. Damn, how I used to want that man!)

Then... Well, there are those people who can be handsome, ugly or whatever, but they just don't do it for us.

Doesn't do it. Just... does not.
~shrug~

On the other hand, this young dude here... Makes me wanna rock the hell out of that cradle:
Does it & does it well. If I wanted to go to jail for getting it done.

Now, Eddie Murphy rode both horses. He was hot as hell at one point. So hot that I got a fever just looking at him:

Sexy & smoking hot.

But Eddie kind of fell off at some point. Had nothing to do with his picking up questionable, er females or taking on goofy roles. (Jerry Lewis, for example, was the king of goofy, but was always sexy. To me. Shut up.) Eddie, though - eh, he didn't do it for me anymore.

Uh... no. No, ma'am. Not hot.

And this gorgeous creature (may he rest in peace) could have gotten me pregnant just by looking at me. Good mercy, he was so damn fine... 
He wasn't even singing at his best that night. But. Damn.

(My girlfriends are as confused as I am. We all agree that chemistry is truly a great mystery. I left then debating why Clinton and Obama are hot and Bush II is not.)

When I was younger, looks (and only looks) did it for me. I got older and got hooked on a sense of humor. Now I'm all about smarts. Okay and humor. One of my girlfriends said that as long as it's male, clean and breathing, she gets excited. I'm pickier than that. So far.

Who knows though? Maybe what we call chemistry really is something more. Maybe it's spiritual. Way back when I was still in love with my first love, I told him the corniest but most genuine thing I'd ever felt. I told him that I thought God created us all out of one spirit and that, in life, when we found the right person, we were just re-connecting. (I was only fourteen and too much "in love.") Well, that first love of mine turned out to be a jerk. He laughed at my young attempt at romantic philosophy then and broke my heart a few years ago. But I still believe. 

Peace
-Free

Sunday, January 06, 2013

Phones Smarter Than Us

A G+ user shared an interesting post the other day and I can't stop thinking about it. The post linked to an Mashable article (Apps: 10 Things You Didn't Know You Didn't Know You Could Do With Your Smartphone") that had me up for hours checking out apps on Google Play.

Some time ago, I downloaded the useful Pressure Log app to keep track of my blood pressure, weight and exercise. My doctor appreciates is greatly because this Sarc has given me a mind like a steel trap. A rusty steel trap. I can't remember my phone number, let alone where I last set down my written pressure numbers. The app is a lifesaver. Of course, now I realize just how many amazingly useful apps are out there on the market. I certainly learned about some new ones, but I made a list of ones I have used over the last few years. Maybe you will like some of them for yourself:

  • WeatherBug is a favorite because, living here in Alaska, I am a fanatic about outdoor temps. Is it too cold to go to Walmart? How long do we need to let the car run to warm up? Do I miss Baby D.J. enough to get out there for a visit or will a phone call do? ("Hi, Stinks!!!)
  • I l.o.v.e. Bump. Loved it more when my niece +Gabrielle B lived here. We had a blast sharing pics and apps and stuff. ~sniff~ I miss you living here, Gabs. So sorry you have to go back home tomorrow... Now, I mostly use Bump to share between my phone and PC.
  • Classic Notes Lite is my constant companion. It's the memory thing again. I have half my book stored in this notes app. One day, I will get all that into manuscript format. Of course, there are similar apps you can check out: Extensive Notes, Simply Note B/W, and Styled WikiNotes are just a few.
  • I don't drive much anymore, but I have GasBuddy installed to navigate my friends-slash-chauffeurs to the nearest and cheapest gas stations. It's the least I can do since I drive them crazy with my backseat-driving mania.
  • In the darkness of Alaska winters, everyone here should have something like Flashlight LED Genius. I downloaded this when I walked into a wall and damn near knocked myself out going to the bathroom one night. I still run into things every now and then, but at least I can describe what I hit. (My niece prefers Brightest Flashlight so I am giving it a try.)
  • Because I on a budget so tight that I have to squeeze Mr. Lincoln til he screams, I downloaded the Expense Manager app. Because I am forgetful, it doesn't do much good. For others, though, I think that it might be perfect for setting limits and tracking expenses. A friend uses it and says she now can't live without it. 
I love my phone and I love my apps. I think I love the apps more. (Someone reading the Mashable article had me laughing at "Can you still call with them?" Who cares? Calls just interrupt my Angry Birds game.

Peace
--Free

Friday, January 04, 2013

Waiting for the Smoke to Clear

It has been 12 days since my last cigarette. All this fresh air is about to kill me! (Just kidding.)

According to the Android app on my phone, my health is improving incrementally:

  • Carbon monoxide level in my blood down by 100%
  • Taste & smell improved by 100%
  • 100 percent of nicotine gone from my body
  • 86% of my nicotine dependence is gone
  • My withdrawal symptoms are down by 43%
  • My circulation has improved by 13%
  • I'm down 3% on my risk of coronary heart disease, heart attack and stroke
I've still got a ways to go before I'm even half as healthy as I need to be, but I'm getting there. If a bus doesn't mow me down. If I don't slide my Sarc-clumsy ass on the ice and break my tailbone. If, if, if...


Slowly, surely, I creep through this  minefield of beating my addiction to nicotine. It has been good for my lungs and my prayer life.

The thing is, I want to encourage anyone else who is trying to kick a habit. If you smoke or drink or have way too much sex - you can at least attempt to stop. Find your personal motivation factors. I have Sarcoidosis, therefore, I should not smoke. I was married to a drunk and I will never be an alcoholic. I don't have to worry about excess sex; I create enough problems for myself just thinking too much about it.

Bottom line: if you want to quit something - you can do it. It's just a matter of when and how. I don't want my "when" to be too late or my "how" to be death.

Peace
--Free

Cessation Nation is the Android app I'm using. Go find one that works for you. Good luck.

Monday, December 31, 2012

Comments?

I had stopped taking comments on the blog because I had to moderate so many inappropriate ones - or sometimes, there were no comments for days on end! Gonna try allowing comments again. Let's see how nice we can all play together...

Saturday, December 29, 2012

A Little Honesty

Okay. I'm going to put myself out there and admit that I can really be one petty bitch. (I'm doing this as a  sort of cleansing exercise. New Year, new me, blah, blah, blah...) Here's some mini-rants I need to get off my chest and out of my head:

1 - I love my roommate, I swear that I do. I love her more than she knows. My hydrophobic ass would swim an ocean to get to her if she ever needed me to. But. (Don't act like you didn't know this was coming.) I am going to go all Katt Williams on her ass the next time she leaves dirty dishes on the counters right after I've cleaned the kitchen. Or when she leaves the dryer vent looking like a Wookiee or something. Come on now. I have phobias! Fire is one of them! She knows this! Damnit. I'm not just being a neat-freak. This is sometimes about safety. (Okay, not the dishes on the counter, maybe, but...) The other day she fell asleep in her recliner (which is right by the deck door - which is an emergency exit) with boxes and bags of old give-away clothes just surrounding the chair. I cleaned it all up (in case of a fire) and told her that if a fire does break out and she's blocked an exit, I'm moon-walking right over her narcoleptic ass. I'll send a firemen back in for her but... SMH

2 - This next rant is all on me. It's something I have to work on if I want to be a better person in 2013. I am, um... How can I say this?... Here it is: I am sometimes a pretty petty bitch. (We won't talk about dishes and blocking exits here, okay? Okay.) What I mean is, sometimes out of spite I will begrudge someone their proper due.

One example I can give of this is probably something you've done yourself: An acquaintance comes around looking nice. Maybe she has a new haircut or has learned to dress as if she actually owns a mirror. Let's say that she is looking really good. Let's keep talking and say that everyone is noticing. So when a friend mentions to me that old Sally is stepping up her game, do I agree that Sally's game is, indeed, stepped up? Probably I do. Out loud. But in my head, where the real me lives, I'm thinking: "So what? So the heffa got a raise and spent it getting her hair and makeup done instead of paying a bill." Then I tell myself that as soon as her perm (or weave) grows out, she'll be the same old Sally.

Now that's just an example. I've never really had those thoughts in a real situation. No. I've had worse thoughts in different situations. Sometimes these thoughts are fleeting and I ask God's forgiveness immediately. Sometimes, though...  I can hold those thoughts until I'm halfway to Hell.

I don't know why I'm like this. Usually, the Bad Trudy only comes out to play when I'm tired or mad about something. Usually. Then again, Bad Trudy has come out at times when I'm drunk. Not good. Drunk me doesn't just have thoughts in my head. If it's thought, it's said. Loudly. Yeah. So.

3 - Why do some people do the stupidest things then want the rest of us to feel sorry for them? Or at least want us to listen while they moan and cry? If I do something super-stupid, I'm only telling the nearest and dearest of friends - maybe. Some folks will cry their heart out to anyone over anything. To those people I say:

     Don't spend the last of your money on the 18th of the month when you know you will be broke at least until the 1st of the next month.

     Don't get a $60 outfit at Old Navy when you haven't bought groceries or paid the $50 cell phone bill.

     Quit telling all your friends what a loser your old man is if you're going to get mad when they call him a loser.

     Quit sleeping with random guys you don't really know if you're going to wake up tomorrow crying to me about what disease you might have. Get your ass down to a clinic, then start practicing knee kegels.

I could go on, but you get it. The people I am talking about are not young and still attending Hard Knocks High. When you get to a certain age, you should have learned some lessons already.

You know what I just realized? I need to quit being so hard on other people. (Notice how I finished my rants first?) Most of the things that irk me about other people are the things I've done myself. It's childish of me, I know. Like  a toddler laughing at an infant who still wets himself.  That's another New Year goal for me: being more understanding.

Yeah. For the New Year. Meanwhile, there's more than 2 days left in this year. I'm going to go find my roommate and have a discussion about those dirty dishes...



(heh heh, thanks to +Kim Barnes)

Peace
--Free

Friday, December 28, 2012

It's How You Say It

A tribute post to some of my favorite songs. This time, just the words:

* "(You Make Me Feel Like A) Natural Woman"
(Composers: Carole King, Jerry Goffin)

Looking out on the morning rain
I used to feel uninspired
And when I knew I had to face another day
Lord, it made me feel so tired
Before the day I met you, life was so unkind
But you were the key to my peace of mind

'Cause you make me feel, 
You make me feel, 
You make me feel like
A natural woman

When my soul was in the lost-and-found
You came along to claim it
I didn't know just what was wrong with me
Till your kiss helped me name it
Now I'm no longer doubtful of what I'm living for

'Cause if I make you happy I don't need no more

'Cause you make me feel, 
You make me feel, 
You make me feel like
A natural woman

Oh, baby, what you've done to me
You make me feel so good inside
And I just want to be close to you
You make me fell so alive

'Cause you make me feel, 
You make me feel, 
You make me feel like
A natural woman

"Turn Your Lights Down Low"
(Bob Marley /Lauren Hill version)
[composer: Bob Marley] 

Turn your lights down low 
And pull your window curtain 
Oh let "JAH" moon come shining in 
Into our life again 
Saying ooh, it's been a long, long time 
(Lauryn- Long, long time) 
I got this message for you girl 
But it seems I was never on time 
Did I wanna get through to you girl? 
On time, on time 
I want to give you some love 
I want to give you some good, good loving 
Oh I, oh I, oh I 
Yeah I want to give you some good, good loving 
Sayin': ooh, I love ya! 
And I want you to know right now, 
I love ya! 
And I want you to know right now, 
'Cause I - that I - 
I want to give you some love, oh-ooh! 
I want to give you some good, good lovin'; 
Oh, I - I want to give you some love; 
Sayin': I want to give you some good, good lovin': 
Turn your lights down low, wo-oh! 
Never - never try to resist, oh no! 
Ooh, let my love - ooh, let my love come tumbling in - 
Into our life again. 
Oh, I want to give you some good, good lovin' (good, good lovin').

"Someone Like You"
(sung by/written by) Van Morrison

I've been searching a long time
For someone exactly like you
I've been traveling all around the world
Waiting for you to come through.
Someone like you makes it
All worth while
Someone like you keeps me satisfied. 
Someone exactly like you. 

I've been travelin' a hard road
Lookin' for someone exactly like you
I've been carryin' my heavy load
Waiting for the light to come shining through.
Someone like you makes it all worth while
Someone like you keeps me satisfied. 
Someone exactly like you. 

I've been doin' some soul searching
To find out where you're at
I've been up and down the highway
In all kinds of foreign lands
Someone like you makes it all worth while
Someone like you keeps me satisfied. 
Someone exactly like you. 
I've been all around the world
Marching to the beat of a different drum.
But just lately I have realized
The best is yet to come.
Someone like you makes it all worth while
Someone like you keeps me satisfied. 
Someone exactly like you.

"Moon River"
Lyrics: Johnny Mercer/ Music: Henry Mancini

Moon river, wider than a mile
I'm crossing you in style some day
Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker
Wherever you're goin', I'm goin' your way

Two drifters, off to see the world
There's such a lot of world to see
We're after the same rainbow's end, waitin' 'round the bend
My huckleberry friend, moon river, and me

(moon river, wider than a mile
(I'm crossin' you in style some day
Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker
Wherever you're goin', I'm goin' your way

Two drifters, off to see the world
There's such a lot of world to see
We're after that same rainbow's end, waitin' 'round the
Bend
My huckleberry friend, moon river, and me

 
That was fun (at least, for me), so maybe I'll have to so another posting of lyrics. Since I have a habit of mis-hearing song lyrics, maybe I will just leave this alone!

Peace
--Free


* Lyrics from Lyrics007

Violence Against Women

This woman's story was originally brought to my attention by a G+ buddy the other day. I just now saw this followup story.

While I was sharing the link on the above, I noticed a post stating that 500 U.S. women are shot to death         every year by their partners. (check out demandaplan.org & their petition)

I don't know what to say except that I shouldn't have to be afraid of being female. Just wanted to post it so that more people know.

Re-post, please.

Peace
--Free

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Forgiveness Season

I had a great Thanksgiving and Christmas. It all made me realize how much I have to be thankful for. It also made me realize that this whole "holiday" season needs to be about more to me than it has (for me) in recent years.

Of course, I am thankful. Thankful for having come through a health scare and for a million other smaller things. Thankful doesn't seem to hit all the switches though. Thankful is only about me. I need to get more outside myself. It seems like forgiveness is what I need to focus on.

I've mentioned my stubborn streak. That streak does not coordinate well with my pride and hyper-sensitivity. I've joked that when I get hurt or angry, I can hold a grudge, plotting like Wile E. Coyote to get back at someone. That's what I need to let go of.

Forgiveness is the greatest gift I've been given and it's one I need to learn to give.

Jesus said: "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do" (Luke 23:34 NKJV).

I just about weep every time I read that in the Bible. Usually, I am reading it after I've lost my mind and done something that requires a lot of forgiveness. But, then, I have been the worse kind of hypocrite. I have not only sometimes refused to forgive people, but I also have used that very verse to justify my childishness. 

"They knew what they were doing, Father. They knew they were breaking my heart or hurting my feelings or making life miserable for me." 

Yeah. I've actually had talks like that with the Lord. I forgot that I am forgiven several times a minute for doing what I know is wrong.

So, this year, I am going to try and forgive any and every thing done against me. I've told myself this before, but I never really set my heart on it. When I am tempted to hold a grudge, I am going to remind myself that, by forgiving, I'm not saving anyone's soul but my own.

Matthew 6:12 is the part that tells us we are forgive as we forgive. I need to remember that.

Peace
--Free

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

My Lil' Man

Little D.J. will turn the big Zero-One tomorrow.

Wow.

Since I suck as an aunt & haven't finished the 2nd video for the fam, I am posting some pics here.

Just bout have this gate business figured out...
Really? A NEW gate? Aw, man...

New fam friend, my big sis & one of my "play" brothers

Couple of nieces & nephs, fam friend & her kid.

Sis feeding D.J. way before dinner's ready. Spoiled brat! lol


And... half the dinner is ready.

And he's spoiled... how?


Aw, Auntie, can't I please touch the Christmas tree?

                                                                 Drumroll, please...
                                               Lil' Man is a year old. All downhill from here!

My niece came in from N.C. & made an amazing cake. Amazing.

The "dirt" - Oreos. "Rocks" - coated chocolate. The cake? YUM>



Road construction-pattern inside





The Birthday kid & his paparazzi. LOL
Finally. Sleeping. (for about 15 minutes, tops!)

Hope you guys (especially Miss Karina) enjoyed the pics. I thought of playing this song at the party, but... Deej's a little young yet :-)


                                                                     Sing it, Muddy!


Peace
--Free

Whispers & Shouts (and Prophecy)

"There was a time when sin had to whisper."

I'm not really sure where that thought came out of my thought ramblings, but - there it is.

My usually wandering mind has been focused lately on prophecy, prophecy, prophecy... I don't feel especially clear-headed tonight, but I wanted to talk about prophecy and Bible study. Please bear with me.

I almost don't even want to mention it, but along with my Bible readings, the recent school shooting is what prompted this post. Senseless murder, unnecessary death, all kinds of hate. So much ugly stuff happening. How horrible are the words "the latest" before any other words like "school shooting"?

At the rate we are going, everyone will be killed off before the Mayan Calendar nonsense can be proved right or wrong. Personally, I believe what my mother used to say: "The Bible is fulfilling itself." This was her mantra every time there was something ugly in the news. I always did the sigh/eye-roll routine when Mom said her thing. These days though, I am turning into my mother.

Not long along, I watched an interesting video called "The Daniel Project." The link here is to watch it (for free) on Hulu.com, but this is the link for The Daniel Project site. (Interesting tidbit: the presenter - Jeremy Hitchen - is an atheist. I suppose since he is mostly paid for voice-over work, this was just another paycheck.) I noticed that there was a "Daniel Factor Conference" in August this year (Link is to Part 1 of video.)

What I wonder, is how that Hitchen fellow can remain a fully committed atheist when he heard the points made in the T.D.P.  video? Sometimes, I hear less factual or impressive info from an atheistic p.o.v. and am pressed against my own faith. My beliefs are rooted in a religion (one I bet my very life on). Is Atheism a religion?  If not, what are atheists like Mr. Hitchen counting on?

I look at just a couple of points that are often mentioned by eschatologists - those who study prophecy:

  • Israel becoming a nation again (in a day, no less) May 14, 1948. Prophesied by Isaiah.
  • What was done to the Jews during the Holocaust was foretold so clearly by Isaiah - down to the fact that they would be branded.

For those who are interested,  here are a few resources for your perusal:

I have to say that among all the different ministers, denominations and conflicting studies in Christianity, it's sometimes tough to find good information. I have never found any disagreement between the teachings of Ankerberg & Martin and the Bible. The most important thing to remember when doing any Bible study is that, when in doubt over what a man (or woman) says, go back to the Bible itself. Pray for understanding. Just pray.

Peace
--Free

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Ways to Screw Up Love

No preface to this one, except to say that you are never too old to learn.

  1. Not wanting happiness as much as we want to be envied. Maybe we confuse the two. Probably we do.
  2. Choosing lovers (or friends) with one part of our body or mind. Some of us are still picking relationship partners without ever consulting any part of our brain.
  3. Not realizing that most love is not like rice - instant and hot. Sometimes, the best love is a marinated friendship.
  4. Letting money or power or position get in the way. Theirs or ours. 
  5. Always looking for love. There are times in life when we need to just let things be.
  6. Caring too much what others think. When you live your life based on the expectations and standards of others, you're really living their life, not your own. 
  7. Letting the idea of ourselves get in the way of our reality. Kind of like Number Four on this list, but sillier. This is why so many of the young and beautiful end up old and alone. Some of us need to see ourselves - body and soul - through today's mirror.
  8. Shining such a bright light on the flaws of others that we can't see our own. You probably know at least one physically not-so-hot person who wants only the best of looks in a partner. At least they know how to dream.
  9. Always "going for" the wrong type. For one thing, no one should really have a "type." Having preferences seems cool, but having a "type" seems... jaded.
  10. Confusing love with lust. (See Number Three.) If you fall in love with tits or ass, what happens down the road? 
And I'm not preaching. These are all things I've talked about with Me and Myself. Just thought I'd share.

Peace
--Free