Spoken and Remembered

A person close to me (by blood) made a joke at my expense. A few years ago, I would have taken it to heart, but lately I've come to realize that people are one thing and do another. This particular person probably didn't mean to hurt me. I truly believe that the true motive wasn't hurting me, but making himself feel better. (And because I am such a sinner, I thought, "Okay, that's my gift to you. Once!" LOL)

Seriously though, the idea of ragging on someone to make yourself feel better stuck in my head. As I thought about it, I also thought about something else (sort of related, maybe not):

When we remember people - say at a funeral - we often don't really say out loud what we really remember about the person. We remember one thing, but say another - something more acceptable.

For instance, at funerals, we often tell only the best things about a person - how generous they were, how kind and caring, etc.  We will talk about the good times and the good things, but the whole time, what we are really thinking about are the hurts they caused, their pettiness, the way they cheated or lied or manipulated others. Of course, it would be wrong and disrespectful to the person's loved ones to do anything other than be kind when speaking of them. I guess that goes to the whole don't-speak-ill-of-the-dead and all that...

Here's the thing that came to my mind: I want to remembered as kindly as I will be spoken of. I don't want anyone to have to sugarcoat their words at my passing. If they are going to say that I was generous, then I don't want them - or anyone listening - to be remembering that my generosity had a motive. I don't want anyone speaking or listening to have subtitles going on about me. (In my case, if someone says that I was moody and cranky, I won't mind. That's true. I would like to think I have been "lovably cranky," but... hahaha) I guess I want to try to live so that I will be remembered for being true to my ways - the good and the bad. I don't want to be remembered as someone who tried killing someone's spirit or morale.

We all have faults, but too often, we try to show the world one personality while we are acting out as another. We want praise for things we haven't truly been. We want to be remembered for things we didn't do with our hearts. We should care more about whether or not we were truly faithful or generous or God-fearing than we should about whether people just thought we were.

And the thing is: often we aren't fooling anybody. If we were, all the good things spoken of about us would be true. God will know the truth.

This all makes me think of people who seem tall only because they are using someone else's misery as a stool. People who seem wealthy only  in comparison to another person's lack.  People who aren't happy with what they've got unless they can show that they have it. These are people who wouldn't be happy in Heaven where joy might be equal. Also, we need to pray for these folks because life here on earth must be - in their hearts - miserable. When I think of people, I wonder about the un-shed tears and the troubling restlessness no one knows about. I think about where I would be without God to touch my own faults and worries. How miserable I would be without His forgiveness, love and comfort. What is it that the Bible says about misery? People with these faults have got to be sadly miserable because of what they lust after for this world and for trying to impress people who cannot save their own souls.

Don't get me wrong - I am not excluding myself. I've craved temporary happiness with the purchase of a purse or piece of clothing. I've lusted after cars and houses and jewelry. Not always because I have wanted the item just because I liked it, but because I wanted what someone else had or didn't have. I wanted - even temporarily - people to look at me and feel a little envy. I think that's a very human weakness and sin. But I am going to ask the Lord to free me from it.

As always, whenever I hold up a mirror to someone's faults, mine become so much clearer. Maybe that's the way God intended it to be. I see a fault in someone else and realize I'm guilty too - and I don't want to be that way anymore.

Just a couple of thoughts I've had. I'm done now. LOL

Peace
--Free

I Just Wanna Be Free-eee!

Thank the Lord! The days are getting brighter, some of this nasty snow is melting, and it's not as freezing cold as it has been in past weeks. Maybe I shouldn't speak too soon, but I'm already checking out cute sandals and summer clothes!

The way I am feeling (most of the time) after the hell I have been through, I was going to add a vid of the Deniece Williams song "Free," but I remembered that it was all about some man. Hah! So...

Even though I'm not that into the whole secular music thing these days, I like the lyrics in this song:

Yep, I am going to be just fine. (Now if that sun would just come on out and warm things up around here! LOL)

Peace
--Free

Reflections

So... Life under maintenance, a new year started... It all got me to thinking back. I went through a bunch of my photos & thought I'd share the memories... (They are in no particular order. Blogger got goofy about what would upload and what would be rejected by server..???)

 (above) Interesting that I was taking a pic of myself, but don't look happy about it... BUT, notice I have hair! lol

My birthday in June 2010. La Mex. Went with the fam

So dang vain! LOL. At my "sis" Barb's last year, trying on clothes my big sis sent. I need to lose about 15lbs to get back to that size!

This is my niece & nephew a couple yrs ago when he was home from Iraq. I was in TX, but my AK fam made sure I got the pic

There's my niece Gabby! And I'll be danged if she ain't laughing. (Good, Gabby. Not so serious all the time!)

My sweet, sweet Rags-a-poo. I still miss my lil baby every single day

I guess I think I thought I was cute or something. This is in TX with my cousins around April/May I think.  L ast year.We took Lil Man out to try & fish. (All I can think about is that I had more hair on my head then!)

Ahh, my serious and beautiful niece Gabs. Around summer '09 I believe

Horrible pic, but, hey - you know how those bad-lit, self-shot bathroom photos are! LOL BUT check out the SHORT hair cut... Can't believe I did it. Looks a lot better in person & the stylist (Tanya @ Ebony & Ivory) was amazing!

Me & my nephew Dre. Summer of 2010. Man it was a gorgeous day!

La Mex on the birthday. (We look drunk but we aren't really) Cherie had had knee surgery & I was just a little bit blue...

(from left to right) Niece Gabby (being shy), my big sis & bestest friend, my beautiful Mommy and niece Cherie. Fam love, right there in a group!

Wow! This is me, like about 20 yrs ago. Loved that house of ours. Makes me cry to think we are living there anymore...

Ok, that was fun. Maybe I will do another post of pics soon.

Peace
--Free

Warning: Life Under Maintenance

So.

I had thought of doing New Year resolutions, then I thought, why set myself up for failure? You don't have to wait for the beginning of a year to set goals, make resolutions, right?

No.

So, instead of reaching for the impossible, I have decided to go for the do-able:

• Gonna try a new look for the physical me.
• Gonna get my body looked after - check out the flesh & blood machine with a physical
• Gonna get the mind taken care of. Been having anxiety attacks and bouts of the "the blues."
• Getting the spiritual me shaped up. Having a lot more talks with the Lord, putting my trust in Him to get me through all the time He's giving me here on this crazy planet.
• Going to appreciate life moment-to-moment.

I think all of that is within reach. I am, after all, turning 50 this coming year. I want to enjoy more of life rather than just get through it.

Since the haircut is the first step, I will try to promise to post pics as soon as it's done. (Unless it turns out a hot mess - then I will post pics of the remedy: a wig, weave or really cute hats! LOL)

To the memories of those who are not here with us this year: I hope you are at rest and at peace for all eternity. (Mom, Dad & the Grands - I still miss you all so much!)

For the rest of you, I wish for peace in your hearts, minds and souls; love that you can use; pursuits you can thrive in; and mostly spiritual calm and fulfillment. God bless all His little children.

Raise your hearts and hopes to a great Year  2011

Peace
--Free

Auld Lang Syne

Question: How many of you know the words to that traditional New Year song?
I bet not too many!

I looked up the lyrics and other information and was a little bit surprised that it's not only sung at the New Year but at funerals and other occasions. Now that I do know the words, I can see it being appropriate for other occasions. I can also see it's not as "deep" as I always thought. Matter of fact, the melody makes me feel more emotional that the lyrics do.

Anyway, here are the lyrics. You can find out more on Wikipedia (of course!)

Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind ?
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and old lang syne ?

CHORUS:

For auld lang syne, my dear, for auld lang syne, we'll take a cup of kindness yet, for auld lang syne.

And surely you’ll buy your pint cup !
and surely I’ll buy mine !
And we'll take a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

CHORUS

We two have run about the slopes,
and picked the daisies fine ;
But we’ve wandered many a weary foot,
since auld lang syne.

CHORUS

We two have paddled in the stream,
from morning sun till dine^† ;
But seas between us broad have roared
since auld lang syne.

CHORUS

And there’s a hand my trusty friend !
And give us a hand o’ thine !
And we’ll take a right good-will draught,
for auld lang syne.

CHORUS

Watching the Asphalt Grow

I haven't been over here for a good minute or two. That's because it's winter and as I've said over & over, I don't do well in winter. I go to work, come home and sleep. On weekends, I hit Walmart or Target just to get out of the house & spend time with the fam. Other than that, I just hibernate and pray for Spring and Summer.

I guess I am only posting today to do a catch-up of the very little that's been happening in the life of Free. So, let's do a quickie rundown...

• Got the job - thank You, God - and it's going all right. Still lots to learn and get ingrained into my habits.
• Made a new buddy at the job. Cool lady, lots of lunchtime laughs and girl-talk.
• Collecting up stuff for when I get a place of my own - which I am having to save up for. Hit the after-Thanksgiving sales and really cleaned up on kitchen stuff and even got a little flat-screen television. Yay.
• Haven't written a thing lately, creative-wise. Starting to feel (for the first time) that I am through with writing anything major. That's kind of okay with me, but kind of not... *shrug*
• Thinking a lot about my mother and father lately. Makes me a little blue. Makes me think a lot of Heaven.

That's pretty much it, except: did I mention how I cannot WAIT for this snow and cold to be g.o.n.e.? LOL

Wishing everyone to have a wonderful Christmas. Here's hoping for a really bright and amazing New Year. Maybe I will be posting again before all that, but who knows?




Peace
--Free

So, you DO have to tell me twice

At almost 50, i've had a huge wakeup call & learned things in my heart that my head always knew:

1- things are not always what they seem to be
2 - most folks have no "self mirror." They understand every hurt they feel but not the hurt they cause.
3- we all need to feel that we matter

For so many years, I felt validated by my family. Felt that by doing the right thing was its own reward. Well, that sounds good, but it doesn't always feel right.

My resolution is: acknowlede & validate those who acknowledge & validate me. If I don't mean anything to you, you won't mean anything to me.

I am going to let go of begging for love. I am going to start being my own top priority. I am going to start acknowledging myself. I can't count on anyone else to be thankful for what I sacrificed for them.

Life will teach you many things. I learned late, but I learned well.

Peace
--Free

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Just Rambling

Oh, my poor, neglected blog(s)!!!

I haven't been posting regularly, I've barely touched bases with my Twitter pals & the Cafe and Farm over on Facebook are just... well, they're looking pretty sad! lol And, speaking of sad, my beautiful little plant must be getting ready to hibernate for winter. Almost all her blooms are dried up... :-(


Maybe now that the season is changing (and there is FROST/ICE on the car in the morning), I will get more into my web world... You know how I tend to hunker down in the darker months of the year.


This is the first time in about 3 years that I have been around for one of our Alaskan winters. I really don't like it much. I think I got spoiled by the nice Texas winters. You know, being able to sit out on the patio for coffee, taking walks, having potted plants out... All that nice-weather kinda stuff.


What am I gonna do to get through the winter? I am going to indulge all my guilty television pleasures (Real Housewives, Paranormal State and any kind of classic show), try to spend more time praying and reading the Bible. I need to get back to church too. Pretty sure they have forgotten me over at Foursquare. And maybe I will start back crocheting. I know I want to do blankets for whatever new place I get, and I have a whole other bunch of nieces/nephews to do blankets for. And, oh, not to mention needing to post here more often!


Other than the darkness, another thing I dislike about winters here: it was Mama's favorite season & I always think about her with a little bit of sadness around Thanksgiving and Christmas. She LOVED her Christmas decorations and having the grandkids crowded into the house... I can't forget how, when she passed away (in April), we all came home from the hospital to find that Mom's Christmas lights had been turned on and were just lighting up the whole outside of the house. Never did figure that one out. We eventually came to think of it as God letting Mom say "goodbye" in her own way.


So...


Anyway, if I were to have an early holiday wishlist, I guess it would be to have another happy home, continued health, peace and family to wallow in. Basically, I pretty much HAVE all that I want (ok, I'm still working on the house part!). AND this year I have a job. So, I am already as blessed as I can wish to be.


I do have a few more things I want to do, though. I want to actually do a Christmas card list (with actual PAPER cards and postage stamps!), I want to go ahead and cut my hair (be a little adventurous for a bit), and I want to find a unique gift for everyone on my list. I am so tired of giving gifts that only mean something for a minute. I want to think of something very personal and fitting for everyone. (I have some ideas, but can't breathe a word on the blog because my NOSEY neice reads this pretty regularly - lol)


Finally (as if I haven't just been rambling on here!) I want to give a big thanks to the Lord for my new friend Jone. She has been a real blessing and encouragement. Maybe next time I post, I will tell the story of how I accidentally re-named a local eatery. (I have no problem at all laughing at myself! lol)


Meantime, you guys all be safe as the weather changes. Count your blessings with joy & endure your trials peace. 


Peace
--Free

"I Know What You've Gone Through"

One of the worse things to hear when you are dealing with a crisis is: "I know what you're going through." (Or: "I know just how you feel.")

When you hear someone say that, don't you just want to say, "No. You don't!"

I've been on the giving and receiving end of that kind of useless empathy. I struggled for a long time trying to figure out how to let a friend know that I meant better. Finally, I think I've found two of the best ways to respond when someone confides their problems:

1 - Silence. Just say nothing. Maybe the friend only wanted someone to listen. Or (since I am not in anyway the "silent type") I think I've found a better way to empathize verbally...

2 - Instead of saying "I know how you feel," maybe it's better to say, "I don't know how you feel, but I do know what's it like to go through some things." 

See, everyone has problems. Your problems may not be the same as mine (and vice versa), but any problem is important to the person involved. What I need to work on is not making my problems seem more important than anyone else's. Our problems are always bigger to us - because they are happening to us. I just don't want to be selfish with my empathy.

Now I have something else to pray about! LOL.

Peace

--Free

Let Not Your Heart Be Troubled!

I was thinking of John 14:27 and I woke up with tears in my eyes this morning.

Not sad tears or depressed & distressed tears.

The tears on my face this morning were tears of gratitude. I have been so blessed. God, all along, knew what I've gone through. I'm still not out of the valley yet, but I am not in the darkest part like I had been for so long. I have learned that no matter what happens, I have been instructed to:

"Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid!"

I have even come to understand a little bit of WHY I had to go through tough times: I think I got a little too complacent and ungrateful. When things were good, I forgot Who was blessing me. I was haughty and proud and selfish.

My mother used to say something along the lines of, "You get too full of yourself, life will bring you to your knees."

Well, life certainly did bring me to my knees. (Notice it's not God that brought me down, but me, myself and my pride...) I guess it's what you do and Who you turn to when you get knocked to your knees! I turned to God.

So, while I am still going through some strife and worry, I know that God is with me. I know that, while today is good - I finally have a job, Thank Him! - the next moment can bring some new stress. I could lose the job, get sick, be deserted by friends or family. Anything can happen. BUT - I have God with me. And if God is for me, who can be against me?

Now I am going to keep on singing and praising and depending on God. I am going to continue to pray and try to be steadfast no matter what people may do or say. And, if I should die right now, I can rest in the peace that I'll just be going on Home.

If any of you are going through some things (and I am thinking of Drew and Jone and Sharon and others), just close your eyes for a moment and thank God for the blessings. The devil can try all he wants to keep us focused on the troubles, but we know better.

And, finally - I want to thank my new friend Jone for reminding me of 1John 3:18---

"My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth."

I have been so guilty of saying how I love someone, but not letting my actions be guided by that love. And I have to remind myself that this love is supposed to be for everyone, not just family and friends, but for the people I meet all through daily life. (Thanks, Jone!)

Peace
--Free

Precious Things We Have Lost

It has occurred to me that every generation loses something. I am having the thought that with every generation removed from the beginning of the Gospel, people have moved closer to becoming exactly the way we are described in the Bible in 2 Timothy 3:1-9 

But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these. For among them are those who enter into households and captivate weak women weighed down with sins, led on by various impulses, always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth. Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so these men also oppose the truth, men of depraved mind, rejected in regard to the faith. But they will not make further progress; for their folly will be obvious to all, just as Jannes's and Jambres's folly was also. (NOTE: boldface mine)

Is that not what we have become already? And, of course, this is not new to THIS day, but what I am thinking is that we get to be more and more like this.

For example, when I was young, there were certain things I (and ANY young person who was considered to have been raised in a "good" home) would NEVER do. Yet, young people today have lost so much of what I was raised with:

Compassion - People are so cold-blooded these days. They don't consider it as BEING "cold," but they just think of it as being "normal." They think of being compassionate as being "weak." They are quick to tell others to "toughen up."

Manners - People don't have the sense of even BASIC social courtesies. When I was young, I was taught by my mother that when I walked into a room, I was supposed to acknowledge anyone already there. Either say "Hello," "Good morning/afternoon/evening" - SOMEthing. I would NEVER walk into a room and act as if it was empty. I didn't snatch things out of anyone's hand. I didn't slam doors. I didn't leave without saying goodbye. I didn't walk into other people's homes or rooms without knocking. I didn't go into other people's refrigerators or cabinets without permission. If I did eat at someone's home, I offered to help clear tables or help with dishes. I said, "Please" and "Thank you." ... Just basic stuff!

Elder respect - People do not accord any respect to age anymore. They don't hold doors for elders. They don't tone down their language for strangers or elders in public. They have no problem raising their voice or having "an attitude" with elders. (And when I was coming up, an "elder" person wasn't necessarily and "old" person. Back when I was a kid, anyone a few years older was "elder" to me. I can remember having to call my choir directer - who was about 7 years older - "Sister Gail." In my house, if someone was older, they were addressed as "auntie," "Miss," "Brother" or "Mister."  If I didn't know their name, they were "Sir" or "Ma'am.") And let me tell you something real: I would have chewed my tongue off before I would EVER have raised my voice or used a "tone" with my mother about anything. She didn't have to be right, she was just "Mama." I had no pride at all when it came to my mother because I knew that no matter what or how she said something to me, it was out of love and wanting to teach me something. You say the wrong thing to a young person today and if it bothers their nerves, you'll just about get cussed out!

General Respect & Self-Respect - I don't know why I am surprised at the lack of respect toward elders since most people don't respect their peers or themselves... People today will say the most amazingly crazy and revealing stuff on PUBLIC social network sites. It's as if they don't think that a boss or a parent or someone they SHOULD respect will ever see or hear about what they post.

But.

The basic truth about the times we live in is that  while we may not be able to change what others do or how they act, we can encourage them. AND we CAN change our own behavior. Personally, I am committed to work on MY own behavior. I will treat others as they deserve to be treated & pray that God help me to treat them BETTER than that! (LOL) And I am trying to live my life in a posture of thankfulness and prayer for forgiveness and protection.

We truly are living in the last days. I know people have been saying that for years, but the thing is: If these are not "the last days" for the world, they could be OUR last days as individuals. So when we are thinking of pleasing or displeasing the Lord God, we don't need to be thinking so much about the endtimes and judgement of THE WORLD, but of the coming end and judgement for OURSELVES. 

I know that everyone in my family has had their warning. I just hope that they take it seriously and not get caught taking their last breath, living in unconcern the way people were as described in Matthew 24:37-38 

"For the coming of the Son of Man will be just like the days of Noah. For as in those days before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the ark"

... And then what?

Anyway, that's my little rant for the morning. I do have hope that those who God calls His, will hear His voice and heed it. I am going to continue this thought in the next immediate post...

Peace

--Free

Betrayals & Cowardice

Here's a question for you:

Have you ever been lied to or betrayed by someone you really, truly believed you could trust? You know, like in one of those horror films where, at the end of the movie, the killer turned out to be the sweet & smiling best friend or lover?

Hmmm... Why do I bring this up? Not because I have that experience, but because I have known people who have had it. And because I am wondering if I am going to have the experience. Time will tell & when it does, I will surely open up and post about it here.

Here's the thing: No one wants to believe that they have misjudged someone so badly. You don't want to believe that someone close to you could be so conniving, but... when you start seeing signs...

Oh well, I will keep you up on this little situation that I am watching. Everything that is done in the dark will come out in the light.

Peace
--Free

Let Me Tell You How Good God Is

I feel like I need to testify!

Just a week ago, I was feeling as if my whole world was closing in on me. I was in SUCH despair. If it were not for my faith in God, I would have committed suicide. (Satan was whispering it to me a lot!)

Finally, I just threw up my hands and cried out to God.

Without going into details here (yet), I can tell you that God answered my prayers and moved a big old mountain out of my way. He not only moved the mountain, He picked me up and carried me past where it had been. One day soon, I will go into detail. For now, I am just thanking and praising the Father, Son and Holy Ghost.

You can laugh, scoff, call me gullible - I don't care. I can tell you this:

I serve an awesome, mighty, loving Father God!!!


Peace
--Free

Communi-fusion!

I need to know that I am not the only one who has this problem:

There is someone very close to me (the closest of anyone in the world), but we have the hardest time communicating.

When we talk and I say one thing, it's as though this person hears something completely different. I'm not sure if they really are NOT understanding me, or if they CHOOSE not to understand me.

I can say on Monday, "The sun is shining." On Tuesday, when it's raining, I can say, "It's raining today." On Thursday, another sunny day, when we are having an argument about the weather, and I say, "The sun is shining again," this person will say, "See, you lie. You said it was raining."

Huh?

Then we get into a worse argument because I find myself frustrated, trying to explain that I'm NOT lying when I say it's nice TODAY, but that it was raining on Tuesday. This person will go on and on about the time I did say it was raining. In the end, I start to feel like, well, damn, I MUST be lying because the person is right - I DID say at some point that it was raining and now here I am saying that the sun is shining...

Yeah.

I'm in Hell.

How do you fix such broken communication? How do you even START to fix it when those are the kinds of conversations that happen? (OK, the conversations are not really about the weather, but you know what I mean.)

It wasn't always like this. It just seems that when this person gets under the least bit of stress, wires get crossed and this is how we end up discussing anything.

I really, really need to figure out a solution to this. I've prayed about it, read books about it, and searched every way I can think of to communicate differently. Nothing has worked.

Anybody else ever deal with this kind of situation? Got any advice? And don't tell me to just walk away from this person. I can't. I love them too much. I just need to know how to deal with this or correct it so that I don't end up going nuts!

**SIGH**

Peace
--Free

Why the Health Chart...

I just posted a health chart that my aunt sent to me. One of the reasons I truly believe in the benefits of foods and herbal/vitamin supplements is because I have been my own "test rat!" LOL. Here is something that happened to me recently:

I woke up one morning at the end of last month with my right ankle slightly swollen and feeling sore. I joked on Facebook that I had managed to sprain my ankle in my sleep. That day and for the next day, my ankle remained sore and puffy. After a couple of days, the LEFT ankle started up. 

Both ankles got more and more swollen over the next few days. One of my nieces teased that I now had "cankles." That was funny for about 10 minutes, but gradually, my ankles hurt bad enough that I had trouble walking normally. My feet started to swell also. The skin felt feverish and was uncomfortable to the extent that I kept the covers off them at night.

Of course, I was starting to get worried.

Now, not having health insurance at the moment (and never having needed it before except for checkups, etc), I had to do my own research. Thank God for the Internet...

First, I searched on "swollen ankles," then I tried searching for information on "swollen ankles and feet," throwing in filters such as "causes of," "as symptom of," etc.  

I came up with different common possible causes: congestive heart failure, sprains, gout...

I can't remember right now just how I got to a page that put me on the right track, but: my chronic anemia (which I was aware of) was a possible cause. 

Apparently, my low iron level was the culprit. 

I was diagnosed as anemic when I was very young. Of course, when I was younger, I had my mother around to make sure I got the right foods to solve the problem: spinach, lima beans (yuck!), beef liver, beets and broccoli... All the foods kids just love, right? LOL... Mama even let me have sips of red wine (she'd heard about that being good for anemics) and she made sure that I was limited on "soda pop" and other sugary foods (I think the doctors gave her some reason to do that).

When I got older and more in control of my own diet (read that as "teenager"), I upped the bad foods (Mama didn't know about all the gallons of Dr. Pepper I was slurping!) and gradually got away from the "good" foods. When I really thought I was grown - yeah, you know! - I developed HORRIBLE eating habits. I was one of those "skinny heffas" who could eat three loaves of bread, deep-fried in butter and covered with a warm Snickers bar and lose more calories chewing that I did by eating the food.

And my problems began. 

I was constantly fatigued (and had fatiguing jobs!) and had miserable menstrual problems. I had trouble concentrating and my moods could be whoozy...

So. When I was around 35 or so, I started getting every cold and virus that went around. I was so tired that I felt like I was struggling just to get through the day. I went to the doctor who did blood work. When he got the results back, he was shook! He was scared to let me drive home. (Understand that I have a high fear of being hospitalized.) In lieu of going to the hospital, I promised the doctor that I would go home and get off my feet and IMMEDIATELY start the regimen of iron he put me on. He gave me some kind of shot and written instructions for taking the iron: something like 3 tablets three times a day for X amount of days, then 2 a day for X amount of days.... On and on until I was down to 1 tablet 3 times a day. ForEVER!!! He made me promise to come back for follow-up lab work in a few weeks and to call him if I felt anything out of whack.

Yeah, yeah, yeah...

I did take the iron pills. Well, okay - I took at least ONE of the at least ONCE a day. Mostly I just forgot. I think I lost the paper with the dosing instructions. LOL.

Fast forward to me being 49 and dealing with too much else in life to remember to take an aspirin if I had a headache, and... I let the anemia creep back in.

ANYway,

Because I do keep vitamins and herbal supplements on hand, and because I do actually take some of them, I did have iron pills around. Within ONE day of taking just TWO iron pills three times a day, the swelling in my ankles and feet started to abate. The pain was completely gone by the beginning of the third day. Now - it's been about a week and a half that I started the iron. All the pain is gone, most of the swelling is gone. All because I took my iron pills...

Here's the scary part (other than the fact that there are people with more serious health problems who can't go to a doctor...): Had I NOT figured out the problem. Had I just let this thing run its course, this is what could have progressed (according to the faq on womenshealth.gov):

What will happen if my anemia goes untreated?

Some types of anemia may be life threatening if not diagnosed and treated. Too little oxygen in the body can damage organs. With anemia, the heart must work harder to make up for the lack of red blood cells or hemoglobin. This extra work can harm the heart and even lead to heart failure.

Yeah. So I am a firm believer in doing what you can to look after yourself. Please talk to your doctor (if you have one), do your own research, ask questions and - most important of all - don't let things go to far when you even just THINK something might be wrong...

Here is the link to the post with the food chart.

Peace (and good health)

--Free

Health Chart

My Auntie J sent this to my email. I am a BIG believer in the health benefits of the right foods. Enjoy, please!

Apple s	Protects your heart	Prevents constipation	Blocks diarrhea	Improves lung capacity	Cushions joints
Apricots	Combats cancer	Controls blood pressure	Saves your eyesight	Shields against Alzheimer's	Slows aging process
Artichokes	Aids digestion	Lowers cholesterol	Protects your heart	Stabilizes blood sugar	Guards against liver disease
Avocados	Battles diabetes	Lowers cholesterol	Helps stops strokes	Controls blood pressure	Smoothes skin
Bananas	Protects your heart	Quiets a cough	Strengthens bones	Controls blood pressure	Blocks diarrhea
Beans	Prevents constipation	Helps haemorrhoids	Lowers cholesterol	Combats cancer	Stabilizes blood sugar
Beets	Controls blood pressure	Combats cancer	Strengthens bones	Protects your heart	Aids weight loss
Blueberries	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Stabilizes blood sugar	Boosts memory	Prevents constipation
Broccoli	Strengthens bones	Saves eyesight	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Controls blood pressure
Cabbage	Combats cancer	Prevents constipation	Promotes weight loss	Protects your heart	Helps haemorrhoids
Cantaloupe	Saves eyesight	Controls blood pressure	Lowers cholesterol	Combats cancer	Supports immune system
Carrots	Saves eyesight	Protects your heart	Prevents constipation	Combats cancer	Promotes weight loss
Cauliflower	Protects against Prostate Cancer	Combats Breast Cancer	Strengthens bones	Banishes bruises	Guards against heart disease
Cherries	Protects your heart	Combats Cancer	Ends insomnia	Slows aging process	Shields against Alzheimer's
Chestnuts	Promotes weight loss	Protects your heart	Lowers cholesterol	Combats Cancer	Controls blood pressure
Chili peppers	Aids digestion	Soothes sore throat	Clears sinuses	Combats Cancer	Boosts immune system
Figs	Promotes weight loss	Helps stops strokes	Lowers cholesterol	Combats Cancer	Controls blood pressure
Fish	Protects your heart	Boosts memory	Protects your heart	Combats Cancer	Supports immune system
Flax	Aids digestion	Battles diabetes	Protects your heart	Improves mental health	Boosts immune system
Garlic	Lowers cholesterol	Controls blood pressure	Combats cancer	Kills bacteria	Fights fungus
Grapefruit	Protects against heart attacks	Promotes Weight loss	Helps stops strokes	Combats Prostate Cancer	Lowers cholesterol
Grapes	Saves eyesight	Conquers kidney stones	Combats cancer	Enhances blood flow	Protects your heart
Green tea	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Helps stops strokes	Promotes Weight loss	Kills bacteria
Honey	Heals wounds	Aids digestion	Guards against ulcers	Increases energy	Fights allergies
Lemons	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Controls blood pressure	Smoothes skin	Stops scurvy
Limes	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Controls blood pressure	Smoothes skin	Stops scurvy
Mangoes	Combats cancer	Boosts memory	Regulates thyroid	Aids digestion	Shields against Alzheimer's
Mushrooms	Controls blood pressure	Lowers cholesterol	Kills bacteria	Combats cancer	Strengthens bones
Oats	Lowers cholesterol	Combats cancer	Battles diabetes	Prevents constipation	Smoothes skin
Olive oil	Protects your heart	Promotes Weight loss	Combats cancer	Battles diabetes	Smoothes skin
Onions	Reduce risk of heart attack	Combats cancer	Kills bacteria	Lowers cholesterol	Fights fungus
Oranges	Supports immune systems	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Straightens respiration
Peaches	Prevents constipation	Combats cancer	Helps stops strokes	Aids digestion	Helps haemorrhoids
Peanuts	Protects against heart disease	Promotes Weight loss	Combats Prostate Cancer	Lowers cholesterol	Aggravates  Diverticulitis
Pineapple	Strengthens bones	Relieves colds	Aids digestion	Dissolves warts	Blocks diarrhoea
Prunes	Slows aging process	Prevents constipation	Boosts memory	Lowers cholesterol	Protects against heart disease
Rice	Protects your heart	Battles diabetes	Conquers kidney stones	Combats cancer	Helps stops strokes
Strawberries	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Boosts memory	Calms stress
Sweet potatoes	Saves your eyesight	Lifts mood	Combats cancer	Strengthens bones
Tomatoes	Protects prostate	Combats cancer	Lowers cholesterol	Protects your heart
Walnuts	Lowers cholesterol	Combats cancer	Boosts memory	Lifts mood	Protects against heart disease
Water	Promotes Weight loss	Combats cancer	Conquers kidney stones	Smoothes skin
Watermelon	Protects prostate	Promotes Weight loss	Lowers cholesterol	Helps stops strokes	Controls blood pressure
Wheat germ	Combats Colon Cancer	Prevents constipation	Lowers cholesterol	Helps stops strokes	Improves digestion
Wheat bran	Combats Colon Cancer	Prevents constipation	Lowers cholesterol	Helps stops strokes	Improves digestion
Yogurt	Guards against ulcers	Strengthens bones	Lowers cholesterol	Supports immune systems	Aids digestion