Middle-Aged My Foot!

 I might not remember it years from now but I can tell you today the exact moment I became officially "old". 

I thought that moment was a while back when my back started hurting for no reason I could tell. Then I thought it was when I started to need a nap in the middle of the day - or after I did anything that required the smallest amount of energy. But no. Those weren't the moments.

The moment I became officially old was when I was sitting in a chair watching a Bible study video. It was about 6:03 PM when I sat down (I noticed the microwave clock on the way out of the kitchen with my bowl of popcorn). The video was one of a series I've been watching for a few weeks and I was really excited to get back to it.

I had my popcorn, some water, my notepad, and the Bible app pulled up on my phone. I was ready. The video started and I settled in to watch.

When I woke up, it was almost 10 o'clock. YouTube wanted to know if I was "still watching". I had a crick in my neck from the way I had slumped sideways. The notebook had slid off my lap onto the floor, Popcorn and water were stale. Best "nap ever."

Going to sleep like that wasn't the real sign of my age. It was the fact that I was still ready for more sleep. I could barely summon the energy to put the popcorn away. 

When I told my best friend (who is suffering from the early stages of dementia) about this, she wasn't surprised. She had the nerve to tell me that I am "middle-aged". Back in the days before her dementia, she would have soothed me with lies. The dementia is hard on both of us because my sister-girl has lost all will for editing her remarks.

But, really, I am not "middle-aged". If 60 is middle-aged, we'd be living until 120, right? 

Middle age for a woman today has got to be somewhere around 40. The life expectancy for the average woman in the States is 80-ish. Throw in my family health background and I was middle-aged around the time I turned 30.

If I add in factors like my family health, my own health issues, and all the medications I am on, I think I will be blessed to make it to 65 or 70. Because God is good. Realistically, I am almost on the first of my octogenarian legs right now.

So, I guess I am blessed to still be sitting upright. Pretty soon, I will have to get dentures, thanks to the medications and bone loss. The best thing I have going for my physical body right now is my hair. Somehow, the medications have not affected that. I think the prednisone I was on way back when boosted my hair growth.

But I am not as concerned with this mortal body as I am with the eternal one that is waiting.

"For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life." 2 Corinthians 5:4

I couldn't always say that. Thank God I can now because I.... ~z z z z z~

Peace

--Free

**REVIEW** Rocketbook Core (updated)

(Go to the bottom of the post for a couple of updates)

Five years ago when I got the Livescribe Echo, I was still writing short stories. In the past couple of years, I have been using it for Bible study notes, writing a family journal (as I add to the family tree), and keeping some notes on my health. The one problem is, the software that I used that snappy my writings to text has been discontinued. All my notes now are as I write them.

A while back, someone was teasing me because I go through so many sticky notes. I explained that I have to write everything down - if I talk to the internet company or call someone about my insurance, etc - I jot notes on a sticky. It's not really convenient to write in my Livescribe notebooks on the fly. I always end up with a wallet full of sticky notes. They litter the desk in my bedroom, the little table in the living room. and are stuck to the overs of books. 

Blah, blah, blah. Sorry, I will get to the point.

My niece was telling me about something called the Rocketbook. There are various versions but she thought the Core (formerly called Everlast) would be the best one for me. 

So what is a Rocketbook? As explained in this link, it is "a cloud-connected smart notebook, productivity, and app experience", or as I call it, my re-usable notebook.

It works with the Rocketbook app. I take my notes, scan them using the app on my phone and they are sent to whatever cloud destination I chose. Once the notes are "in the cloud", I can wipe the notebook pages clean with water so that they are ready to be re-used. Over and over and over and... Yeah.

Now, I am no pro at using a Rocketbook but for my purposes, the Core is really simple. And much more affordable than buying more Echo notebooks. The Rocketbook (executive-size) cost me $21.71 and comes with one erasable pen.  I paid $28.69 for a 4-pack of single-subject Livescribe notebooks when I got the pen back in 2016. I never did buy more; I just learned to write small and use every inch of paper!

(NOTE: I see just now that the price of the executive-size Rocketbook has gone up. The cheapest color choice -Midnight Blue - is $27.81 as I type this. I have a feeling the price will settle down after the holiday season. Do shop around or go to the official site. I see a lot of price variation between Amazon, Walmart, Target, etc.)

I wanted the letter-size Core because it has more page space but I got the executive-size because it fits in my purse - to take to appointments. I ranted about how much I love the one I got and my family for me the letter-size for home so that I could use it for Bible Study. 

The Rocketbook beats my Livescribe in more ways than one.

Rocketbook is a lot more user-friendly and easily available on the go than Echo. Once the Rocketbook notes are in the cloud, I can pull them up via email or 8 other cloud destinations. I tend to send my stuff to email, OneNote, and OneDrive. 

I especially love the OCR transcription feature - which turns my handwriting into text. This feature is gone for my Livescribe since the program I used has been discontinued. That was the entire point for me, to be honest. I have been looking around for other programs that work with the pen.

Bible study with & without Rocketbook

The Rocketbook works with erasable pens. The notebook comes with (and is recommended to be used with) a Pilot's Frixion erasable pen. The Pilot pens are cheaper to replace than the Livescribe notebooks.

that rubberized nib 
is for erasing the ink
from regular/non-Rocketbook paper

The Pilot feels and handles like "regular" pens. The Livescribe is fat because of the components inside. The one complaint I have about the Frixion is that I'm having trouble finding anything other than a fine or super-fine point.

It's also possible to use highlighters in the Rocketbook - special and erasable highlighter, of course. 

Then there is the whole waste and space issue. There is no paper waste with Rocketbook and very little use of space. Both notebooks are very slim at 16 pages (32 with front/back writing space).

With the Rocketbook, you can use a permanent marker to make your own templates for calendars, planners, etc. (I know there is a Panda version that is made to be a planner but I haven't looked into it.) 

The Panda 
which I don't need

Panda Planner
as shown on Amazon

There are, of course, accessories. I'm not in need of any. I would love to have a folio to hold the notebooks but I have no trouble sliding the small one into my purse and keeping the larger size with my other writing essentials on the desk.

As I said, there are various versions of the Rocketbook. The first one I ever saw was the Wave but I read that it has limited usage before it needs to be replaced. I went with the Core because it's supposed to be of "endless" use. Saving money is the point for me.

You can get an overview of the different versions of Rocketbook here. For people like me - who just need a simple way to keep track of notes - I think the Core is the best choice. For business people or those who need a variety of ways to organize might want to look at the Fusion. Students might want to check the Academic Planner. Personally, I think it might be cheaper to just make your own templates in the Core. That's just me though.  For the certified brainiacs out there, maybe take a look at the Matrix. Just go take a look at all of them and see which fits you best.

The one thing about Rocketbook is heat or water exposure (depending on your notebook version). Remember, these are meant to be erased with either heat or water... I'm pretty sure the high-summer heat of Arizona would scrub my Core clean as new! But I don't know. Go look that up.

If you are looking for a way to carry and protect the notebook, search on "covers", "folios", "capsules", or any of those things as "compatible with Rocketbook".

To finish, I want to point out that there are all kinds of Rocketbook items in addition to the different notebooks - index cards, whiteboards, and these "beacons" that you can attach to send stuff to the app.

Although my items came from Amazon, I suggest going through Rocketbook's site to make sure you get full product support.

Peace

-Free

UPDATES

• The little symbols at the bottom of the pages are really hard to see, especially in the wrong light. I can't memorize them because I can't memorize anything!

And, yes, that is how light they actually are!

• The front and back covers are too slick. They feel nice to hold but slide all over most surfaces. 
• You really do need to get one of the tiny spray bottles to keep on hand. I have been wetting the towel with water from my drinking bottle. Not cool.
• The "capsules" or jackets are almost necessary to hold the pen & cloth and notebooks. However, they cost as much or even more than the notebooks themselves.
• When I was taking a camera photo of the page to show the symbols, the QR on the page triggered a "note" field. That was interesting and I need to explore it.

That was weird...

• The pages material is so "flex-like" that it's easy to flip past one & skip blank pages. This happens so much that I wish the pages had tabs on them!
• I still love the Rocketbook but these are the minor annoyances I am noticing the more I use the books.

**RECIPES** Comfort Food (on the cheap!)

 Winter weather is finally starting to show up here where I live. The cold is not bone-chilling yet but I pulled out my bed blankets a couple weeks ago and last night I slept under one.

It's been a rough month. My fatigue ruled the last 3 weeks but I was able to get up and cook a couple days ago. When my energy gets shaky, I like to fix something that will last for several meals. Usually, that ends up being the bean stew and cornbread that my mother used to make.

This is such a cheap and easy meal. The most expensive part is the ground beef. If I need to, I can cut down on the meat and still bulk up the dish by adding tofu. Or, for folks who want, this can be made with just the beans.

There are 2 things you need to know about this recipe: 1) I use a cast-iron skillet for the cornbread. 2) I use an Instant Pot for the beans. If you don't have these, you can find recipes for the bread and beans online somewhere. 

Just like Mama, I'm not specific with measurements. Here are the recipes for both the bean stew and the cornbread. And, by the way, you will want to either soak your beans overnight or do a quick soak.

Bean Stew Sauce (with ground beef and/or firm tofu)

• Ground beef. I use up to a pound, depending. A half-pound of beef can be supplemented with a brick of firm tofu. This is for 2 - 4 cups of beans.
• Pinto beans (dry). A pound of beans is about 2 cups of beans. I've never made this with any other type of bean. I've never made it with canned beans. I'm sure it could be done.
• Pasta sauce - any kind. I will grab Ragu or Prego when it's on sale. I prefer using the "meat-flavored" or "mushroom-flavored" kind. I have used really off-brands in the can but find that they have a funky undertaste to them.
• Optional - tomato paste and canned tomatoes. I prefer using diced canned tomatoes but will get the whole stewed tomatoes and chop them up in the can with a sharp knife. I just personally don't like big chunks of tomatoes pieces in the finished dish. You might not mind that. Chopped up fresh tomatoes also work.
• Spices & seasonings for both the beans and for the meat. I always use lots of chopped-up & whole fresh garlic & garlic powder; salt, red pepper flakes, lots of diced fresh white or yellow onion (and onion powder is optional). I sometimes add Italian seasoning flakes. (For the fresh garlic and onion, I like a lot so I will use up to 4 little cloves of garlic - half chopped and half whole - and half a large onion.)
• Brown sugar. Yep. Light or dark will do but I prefer dark. If I don't have brown sugar, I will use blackstrap molasses. If you don't have either of those, you can use table sugar. Dark sugar is the best though. I don't think Mama has ever used table sugar for the dish and I certainly don't. The dark sugar adds flavor and texture to the "juice" of the dish and is really a big part of it.
• Optional Liquid Smoke. Trust me, if you have it, use it!

1. While your beans are cooking (recipe below), brown the ground beef halfway or almost done and drain the excess water and run-off into a dish (don't throw it out yet). Turn heat to a medium-low setting.
2. Add the chopped garlic and half of the chopped onion. Season the meat with everything except the sugar.
3. Add the pasta sauce and tomato products.
4. Add either water - enough to thin out the sauce. The sauce will be simmering for a while so you might need to add water 1/4 cup at a time to keep it from getting too thick. It should remain thin enough to simmer on low. 
5. (NOTE: If the runoff from the meat isn't too greasy, you can use it in place of some of the water you will be adding.)
6. Cover and leave the meat sauce to simmer over the lowest heat setting. Keep an eye on it that it doesn't get dry or start sticking to the pan.

**If you are using tofu, make sure to press it out and dry it well beforehand. Cube it into the smallest pieces you can and saute it in a small bit of oil. Drain the pieces well on paper before adding to the meat sauce.**

Pinto Bean (Instant Pot)

(NOTE: If you are cooking your beans on the stovetop, you can find recipes online. I haven't cooked beans on the stovetop for at least 3 years!)

• Soak your beans overnight or for at least 4 hours. If doing in 4 hours, use warm water and salt. The water should be at least 3 to 4 inches over the beans. The beans will expand as they soak up the water.

1. Put the beans directly into the Instant Pot. You don't need anything but the big metal pot that came with it. Beans are the only thing I ever cook directly in this pot so I was worried the first time I did so!
2. Add enough water to cover the beans and be about an inch over the top of them. (It's better to have too much rather than not enough. You can drain any excess but you don't want them to cook down to dry.)
3. Add a couple of teaspoons of oil. I use whatever I have on hand - usually olive oil or canola. This is supposed to cut down on foaming but I always add a little oil to my beans while cooking.
4. Add the rest of the chopped onion and the whole garlic.
5. Add the brown sugar. I generally use 1/4 cup for every pound of dry beans. You can add more or less but the sugar is a big part of the flavor.
6. Add about 3 teaspoons of salt to every pound of dried beans.
7. Add about 1/4 teaspoon of Liquid Smoke. 
8. Give the beans a good stir to mix in the sugar and seasonings.
9. Cook on High Pressure for 40 to 50 minutes and set for 10 minutes. (This seems like a much longer time than for most recipes but you want really tender beans for this stew.)

When your beans are done (check that they are very tender - they should "smush" under light pressure), make sure that the juice on them isn't too watery. You don't want the bean juice to water out your meat sauce too much.

You can drain some of the water off of the beans and set it aside, just in case. 

Add the meat sauce to the beans and stir. If you want a thinner stew, add some of the bean juice.

You can taste and add seasonings as you want.

Cast Iron Skillet Cornbread

• 9-inch skillet, a mixing bowl, and a large spoon. A spatula for scraping out is nice.
• 1 cup + 2 Tbls Cornmeal. I use either Quaker Oats or Albers brand, I have used a coarse-grind and it came out nice but the regular grind was what Mama always used.
• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 2 Tbls table sugar or honey. I use sugar but Mama would sometimes use honey.
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 1 tsp baking SODA
• 2 tsp baking POWDER (this will go into the bowl last)
• 2 eggs lightly stirred (you can get away with 1 if that's all you have)
• 1 cup of buttermilk or milk. (To make buttermilk, add a tablespoon of vinegar or lemon juice to a cup of milk, stir well, and let it set for 5 or 10 minutes)
• 1/4 cup of melted butter. that's 4 tablespoons. I use unsalted.
• About a tablespoon of oil or butter for the skillet. (I prefer oil because the butter will brown overheat.)

This is some bean stew with cornbread I made from a coarse grind that I found on Amazon. And it was a really coarsely ground cornmeal!

that's the bottom of the bread that you see

I made this with self-rising
mix a long while back

This is with regular
cornmeal

**NOTE: if you are using self-rising cornmeal, you won't need the ap flour and baking powder. Check the bag of cornmeal for specific instructions. I prefer using plain cornmeal so I don't know much about the self-rising kind.**

1. Preheat the oven to 400
2. Put the skillet on the stovetop with the tablespoon of oil or butter and set to medium-to-high heat **IMPORTANT** The skillet has to get really hot. I let mine get to almost smoking. You will have to keep your eye on it to keep it from burning anything.
3. Add the cornmeal, flour, sugar, salt, and baking SODA to the bowl & give it a good stir. (If using honey, add it later with the wet.)
4. Add the milk, eggs, and melted butter. (And the honey, if that's what you are using.)
5. Stir the mixture well.
6. When your oven has reached 400 degrees and your skillet is really hot, add the baking POWDER and stir it in well.
7. Test the skillet with a tiny drop of batter. It should sizzle.
8. Add the batter to the skillet and bake for 20-25 minutes.

The trick to good cornbread is getting that oven preheated and having a really hot skillet.

I like my cornbread to get a slight crack across the top. That tells me that the bread is a good texture for eating with the stew. Some people think that a cracked top is a bad thing but I prefer it.

NOTES:

• You can't keep this stew out on the counter. It has to be refrigerated. Cooked beans can go bad on the counter.
• You can keep the cornbread in a baggie or other container for a couple of days. If you are going to store it for longer, put the baggie in the fridge. If your house is really warm or humid, put the bread in the fridge as soon as it cools.

The best thing about this recipe is that, while it takes a little bit of time to prepare, it can last for days and days in the fridge. Like most seasoned foods, it tastes better every time you heat it to eat it. Also, when you run out of cornbread, you can eat the stew with some cheese melted on top or with a little sour cream. I have eaten the stew with nacho chips or toast.

Of Pots and Pans:

By the way, cast iron skillets don't have to be crazy expensive. I just checked Amazon to see what kind of prices are on them. Found this 10 1/4-inch one for under 20 bucks. This is a great time to shop for them. I think I saw the Dutch ovens and lidded skillets for good prices last season - but you can check the Amazon Warehouse all year long for deals. This Dutch oven is under $30 and this one is the exact same as what I got a long while back. Cast iron cookware is awesome. Learn to take care of them and they last forever.

Peace

--Free

Herbal Waters

 Back in September when I started drinking Turkish coffee, I fell in love with the coffee and the cardamom that was in it. After I heard some of the benefits of the spice, I started making a tea with it. Then I started cold-steeping it in my daily drinking water. 

I'm supposed to drink  64 ounces of water a day at a minimum. With my kidney health so fragile from the sarcoidosis, I actually should be chugging down more like a minimum of 90-96 ounces. And I do that about once or twice a week - that is if I don't need to stray more than 5 minutes away from a bathroom. My 2 kidneys need the water but my 1 bladder can be cranky...

Adding the cardamom made drinking a lot of water not so much of a chore. For one thing, it has a nice and smooth natural sweetness. Water is much less boring with a little cardamom. I liked it so much I decided to go try some other additions to my water.

In the past few weeks, I have tried adding peppermint, spearmint, cumin, and rosemary. Sometimes I will mix a couple or three of them together, but I actually like each of them solo - except for the cumin. Cumin is probably amazing when cooked into foods - the way garlic is - but the scent and flavor of it steeped in water is really not pleasant at all. It's one of those especially, um, "aromatic" spices that you either love to smell or just can't take at all without gagging. The only way I can do the cumin is by adding one of the mints, some rosemary, or - and this is what I usually do - drown out the funky smell and taste with a strong juice like pineapple. Or at least, mostly drown it out. I think it would take something like Everclear to completely deaden my taste buds to the taste.

NOTE: Going forward, remember that I am NOT offering up medical, health or any other kind of professional advice at all. I am only going to be telling you about my personal experience with these beverages.

Other than for amping up the taste of water, here are some other reasons I like using the herbs and spices that I've chosen:

Cumin - this has helped with my anxiety and sleep. I was able to step down from 3 tabs throughout the day of an anti-anxiety med to just 1 (or sometimes 2, depending on circumstances and how much cumin I can gag down). I have never taken prescribed sleeping medication and don't want to have to start. I don't need another pill added to my routine. I have and still occasionally do use magnesium oil as a topical to help with my insomnia. With the cumin, I have another weapon in that ongoing war.

The seeds look so innocent, don't they?

Peppermint - honestly, I just love the taste of this. It doesn't have to be a strong steep to add a lot of "freshness" to my store-bought spring water. And I always drink spring water because I'm not sure that anything short of an exorcism would help filter out the grossness from our disgusting tap water! I don't even like using it on my plants and for that, I do filter it. Oh, Alaska, how I miss your sweet, sweet tap water.

I have heard that peppermint can help with gas and bloating. I don't know. I do know that I love what it does for my breath in between brushing and, who knows, it might even be beneficial for my overall dental health. I'm so near to having to have all my teeth yanked and replaced... I am down for anything that will help in the meantime.

Spearmint - While peppermint is stronger-flavored and "harder" on the tastebuds - if that makes sense - spearmint seems to be sweeter and "softer" tasting. I really like mixing the two and sometimes I will add a couple drops of lemon or lime juice. I believe spearmint has the same kind of supposed benefits as peppermint. I'm going to have to check on that. When I got the brand I did, it was because of the good price on such a huge amount. After I started using it, I read somewhere that Egyptian spearmint is supposed to be some of the best. Again, I don't know that for sure. I do know that the 1 pound bag is enough for me to share with my neighbors and still have plenty to last for months to come.

The bag is ginormous!

Rosemary - I initially got this because, like most natural hair chicks, I've always heard rosemary is good for hair and skin health. (I do have some of it steeping in olive oil and will check on it in a couple more weeks.) It is also mentioned by some to be good for immune health and regulating blood sugar levels. To be honest, though, this is so much tastier as a tea than I ever expected. For me, the scent is very relaxing and soothing. The taste is really mellow and soft. I like to mix in some of the mints with this.

Cardamom - This, of course, was my first love. I just love the way it smells and there are supposed to be many benefits to drinking the water (called elachi water). It is also one of the spices that are good for the immune system, digestive health, and oral health - so I've heard it said but it's another thing I need to check out. I still use it in my coffee on a regular basis and I love to cold steep whole pods in water to drink every day. It's a pain in the rooty-tooty to separate the seeds from the pods but worth it. Buying the pods is much more affordable than buying the seeds alone. I also find that I like using the pods in my drinking water while I will grind the seeds for brewing with my coffee.

A lot of work to
extract the seeds

There are a couple of things I have not yet tried but want to. I am really interested in steeping lavender, rose, and someone mentioned fennel seeds to me. Not so sure about that because I've heard the taste is similar to black licorice. I still might give it a go. And I kind of want to try hibiscus but I have never been crazy about the packaged hibiscus teas so I'm not sure about that one either. 

I am sure that I have mentioned on the blog more than once how I love adding roasted chicory root to my coffee. It's not something I have learned to drink as a tea (or as a coffee substitute) but, I did want to add it to this list. I was into chicory long before I ever heard of cardamom. If you ever buy coffee that you think is missing something, try adding a very small amount of roasted chicory root granules to it. The brand I have used for the past few years is pretty good and I like that it's a really "clean" product - free of anything icky or chemical-like. I would suggest grinding the granules up as fine as you can before adding them to drip coffee. And a big plus is how cheap it is. 

Now that I am so into herbal water, I'm a little sad that I didn't get here sooner. A couple of summers back, I bought a bunch of herb plants for cheap from the local mercantile. My favorites were lemon balm and chocolate mint. I don't have any problem finding lemon balm but have not been able to find the chocolate mint anywhere. I just know that would make an amazing steep. I might have to just get some seeds to grow the mint inside year-round - if I can keep the plant alive.

By the way, I actually still have an old 2nd edition of Back to Eden from sometime in the early '90s. It used to be the go-to book on herbs-as-medicine for Christians and other people who liked to use natural remedies but wanted to stay away from anything New-Age-y or pagan. I remember my mom and her friends talking about having heard of it back when they were young housewives - and my mom was born in 1932 so... It's one of the few actual books I own in this age of digital media. Glad I lugged it around for all those years during my formerly nomadic life. When I found a link for it on Amazon for other copies, the prices are just ridiculous, probably only because it's a hard-to-find book and Amazon's algorithms noticed. I wish I did have the original, just because. Mine copy is an amazing source and I am just sorry I haven't used it more in all the time I've had it.

My maternal grandmother and her friends were very used to using natural remedies. My mom grew up with her mom using a lot of herbs and things because people then and there didn't run to the doctor for everything. I'm not sure there were a lot of doctors to run go see, tell you the truth. But when Mama married into the military and left the country life, she got used to relying on "modern" medicine. Of course, she did still use a lot of what she remembered from her mother when it came to things like treating sore throats and constipation. When I was young and very anemic, Mama would make me eat liver that she cooked in cast iron and I won't even talk about the times my paternal grandma had us kids lined up before school to give us doses of cod liver or castor oil... Good times.

Anyway.

Now, I didn't mention that what I love most about my herbal waters is that I don't need to add any sweeteners to them. For some reason, when I was drinking hot teas all the time, I had to have some honey or a bit of sugar in them. With the water, I can just chug happily along.

After weeks of really getting into and staying consistent with the herbal waters, I went ahead and got a cheap set of bottles.

I needed something to store the different flavors and these jars are great for carrying to appointments. The colored sleeves work well for condensation (and safety of the glass) but also are great for sort of color-coding the different drinks. I caution that if you get something like this, make sure you don't put hot liquids in the bottles. I'm not sure how safe that would be.

Another thing I want to point out - that was mentioned by one of my neighbors. Instead of steeping the herbs with hot water, it's better to do a longer steep with cold water. She is somewhere in her early nineties and told me that the heat often destroys the "good stuff" in the herbs. I usually trust the wisdom of the older generations. 

Anyway.

I still steep large batches in my old raggedy mason jars! The cute bottles are great for when everything is all steeped and ready to add to my water. Or for when I am doing a small-batch steep of that disgusting cumin...

So I am checking with my other neighbors about other herbs and spices to use in a beverage. If I run across anything good, I will share it here.

Peace

--Free

P.S.: I hope the last parts of this post are decently written. I got tired of editing so I stopped partway through! LOL

**CROSSPOST** A Beautiful Song

 Not much to say about this, but I wanted to share it. This is another one of those songs I hear that just reach all down in my soul and make me happy. I hope it makes someone feel better.

Peace

--Free

I'd Laugh But It Hurts

 I think I have already shared here a joke I once heard about aging. The comedian reminded us all that if we got hurt when we were younger, it was due to playing rough sports or having a vehicle accident. The minute we get past 40 though, we can get hurt by just getting out of bed in the morning. I was laughing until it actually happened to me. And this is why I have not posted here in a good minute or two...

A couple of weeks ago, I woke up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night (another symptom of geezerhood) and, as soon as I stood up, I felt a sharp pain in the middle of my back. I felt as if I had cracked a bone or something. I hobbled on to use the bathroom and, before I went back to bed, I took a couple of acetaminophens.

When I got out of bed for the day, my back felt better but was still a little bit sore. Weird, right? During the rest of the day, my back had mood swings. I could function normally for a couple of hours then I'd have pain if I turned a certain way or bent over in the slightest.

I've had this happen before and, usually, taking aspirin and being careful not to twist and turn a lot would take care of the problem. After a couple of days, I'd be good as new. Not this time.

I've been using a heating pad and avoiding sitting in chairs. I will lay on the bed and use the computer and eat standing up. There are times when I can move around almost like normal - the other day, I even walked to the store a couple blocks away - and then, out of nowhere, I can't even roll off the bed without wanting to sob. And I am not kidding about the sobbing part. The last time my back hurt like this, I took a couple of Motrin and felt awesome - until I remembered that I am not supposed to take Motrin, Ibuprofen, etc. Do you know how limited the OTC pain reliver options are when you cut out Motrin? I think I am down to asprin, acetaminophen, and sugar pills.

I already had an upcoming appointment for a checkup with my GP. My back, which had been in Sore Mode all morning, was suddenly all better by the time I got to my afternoon appointment. 

My doctor, who is wonderful at monitoring my general care, tries to keep a sharp eye out for anything to do with the sarcoidosis. Even though my back was miraculously better at the moment, she warned me to let her know if it flared up again. Apparently, sarc can affect the muscles and bones - okay let me look up the word my doctor used: musculoskeletal. Don't ask me to pronounce it. 

Here's the thing, I am aware that all my doctors have shown concern about possible problems with my joints. Somehow, though, because I have neurosarcoidosis, I worried about my nervous system more than I did about anything else. 

Well, yeehaw.

Honestly, I think now that my back pain might be from all the crazy stuff I did when I was younger: dancing like a madwoman, running and jumping and leaping like a superhero - you know, the stuff you do when you have energy and good muscles and undamaged cartilage. I can't wait to see what happens down the road to all these gal who spend so much time twerking. If they only had half a clue...

Anyway. I did get myself a back brace-type belt to use for when I have to sit. It seems to help a bit, although it's not the most comfortable thing to wear. It sure doesn't look this comfortable on me as it does on the guy in the product photo:

My doctor says that if the pain persists, I might need muscle relaxants and physical therapy. Ugh. I told her that I would hold off for now. I dread taking another pill and I really dread trekking out to P.T....I will give the back belt a try and see if it helps. 

Instead of a prescription or other narcotic type pain reliever, I am drinking a little cumin water every day. It may be an old wives tale but, for me, the cumin water helps relax me and it seems to help with the pain. If I make the cumin water extra strong, it will knock me into an instant nap. For real. That stuff is like a date rape drug.

The thing about cumin is that it has a very strong odor. VERY strong. I can't describe it well, but it smells like sweat and dirt combined. To help with the smell, I will add rosemary water or mint water. If I make the water extra strong for a bedtime drink, I really can't deal with the smell. In that case, I will add a hit of pineapple juice and just slam down the entire 4 to 8 ounces.

My back is behaving for the most part. As long as I keep the belt on and don't sit wrong, I might be okay. In the meantime, I have cut back on the cumin water - which is, I forgot to mention, a traditional Indian beverage that they call Jeera water. I want the Jeera water to be at its most effective when I need it so I don't want to build up a tolerance. 

I will be back to blogging here pretty soon. I'm pretty sure my next topic will be about how much I love making and drinking these herbal waters.

Peace

--Free

**Cross Post** The Thing I Don't Talk About Much

This is from my other blog Free & Faith

This blog gets more views so I'm sharing it here.

There are a couple of things I have not really ever addressed here:

1. Conspiracy theories

2. The "Illuminati"

The reason I have stayed away from blogging about these things is that there's been a successful campaign to make people who do look crazy. This post title is perfect: There’s a conspiracy theory that the CIA invented the term ‘conspiracy theory’ – here’s why.

I have not read the article because I've heard the discussion plenty of times before. I don't know who invented the term but it certainly has done the job. I no longer use the term because I don't care about the theories surrounding anything that doesn't have to do with the human soul or the battle for it. I will instead say, "The Enemy's Plans".

I use the same term for anything to do with what is so often called "The Illuminati". That term has also been tarnished and beaten into uselessness.

The thing with all of this is that Christians should not be surprised at anything falling under the Enemy's Plans. We might not have known exactly what those plans would look like in our lifetime but we were warned:

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. (KJV)

And if that isn't clear enough, here it is in other versions:

 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. (NKJV)

For our wrestling is not against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world-rulers of this darkness, against the spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. (ESV)

Because your fight has not been with flesh and blood, but with Principalities and The Rulers and The Powers of this dark world and with wicked spirits which are under Heaven. (Aramaic Bible in Plain English)

I think what we needed to study hardest in that verse is who the "Rulers" and "Powers" are.

Satan is not wandering around looking anything like what man has been portraying him. He is represented by his devotees. They can wander among us looking innocent and beautiful and enticing. 

The goal of the Enemy is to win souls to his damnation before they can accept Christ's salvation. If we die while we are trying to please Satan, we are lost. If we die while we are chasing after the riches or fame or beauty or power that he offers, we are lost. If we chase these things blindly - not realizing who the Power is behind them - we are lost.

When I see people working for these things - power and glory and material stuff - I pray for them to come out of the darkness. I was there once. I once wanted nothing more than to be rich and famous. I was so proud of my beauty and youthful energy and I wanted to make those things help elevate me higher - in employment, in romantic relationships, and in friendships. I wanted to be seen and noticed and regarded. If I'd had access to today's social media platforms, I would have been out of control.

Just as the Gospel is reaching more and more of the world because of better technology and communication, The Enemy is also using those resources.

If we stay focused on our human selves, we will be less concerned with our eternal souls. If we can indulge in every pleasure here on earth, we are less concerned with what happens when we are no longer here on earth.

Do I believe that people sign up with The Enemy in exchange for what they want here on earth? Yes. Do I think that all of them fully understand what they are signing away? I don't know. Maybe. Maybe those are the ones who, in spite of their earthly successes, commit suicide or turn to drugs and alcohol or other deadly vices.

What bothers me is that a lot of us don't believe that this happens - that people are signing up with The Enemy. I am always trying to find ways to point this out to friends and family. But you can't see if you prefer to remain blind.

I recently watched a long video -over 5 hours long - by a man trying to point out some of the work of The Enemy. He is so earnest that he went on a bit at first I had trouble getting through the first several minutes. I'm glad I hung in there. He has probably laid out the most compelling evidence of how we are being manipulated today.

In the video, this man asks a couple of fairly obvious questions that might not occur to a lot of people:

• If Jesus wasn't the Savior, why is he the most hated? You don't see the same hate toward Buddha or Mohammed or any of those.
• Why is Christianity the religion that is most under attack? You don't see the same attacks on any other religion.

I think that we are being so very manipulated in every way. Look at the similarities in the behavior of these well-known people. Are their little poses and mannerisms just coincidentally similar? Are the entertainers and other "creatives" among them that unoriginal? 

Seeing the eye doctor, maybe?

We are distracted by so much news and information and entertainment and other noise that we can't hear ourselves trying to think. 

When Facebook and its various other platforms went offline the other day, I rejoiced. I was hoping that people would use the time wisely. I wonder if any of them used those distraction-free hours to communicate with people offline. Did any of them pick up a book? Did anyone do something fun without worrying about posting photos immediately?

Right now, in our nation, many of us are divided by race and politics. I pray that people will realize that there are no divisions in The Enemy's camp. There are different teams that might want different things for themselves as teams but they all are again the people on God's team.

A lot of us Christians will support and root for politicians and other leaders because they look like us or vote like us or listen to the music we like. In reality, they are not on your team unless they are on God's team. And just saying you are on God's team is not enough. There are many people who will get to Judgement Day for this to be a real thing:

Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy by thy name, and by thy name cast out devils, and by thy name do many mighty works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity. (Matthew 7:21-23 ESV) ~my emphasis~

They can hide from us but they will be exposed.

So, please take time to pay attention to what is going on around us. We have to be prayerful and wise and watchful against deceit and trickery. 

Peace

--Free

If This Doesn't Bother You...

**UPDATE**     Who else rejoiced when Facebook went down for a day? Who had trouble dealing with it? Personally, I enjoyed it because I actually got phone calls and texts from friends and family. Most of them were feeling a little out of sorts. Let's have another Facebook-free day! 

Saw this while scrolling Reddit. It might be fake but it captures everything I hate about where we are with social media. 

This is how we have learned to "live" our lives. We smile for the camera (or live, love, and laugh for it), while our real lives might be falling apart. How many people are smiling in these posts before they go home and kill themselves - or beat their s/o or kids? How many of these beautiful faces are depressed about what they actually see in a mirror?

We are killing ourselves from the inside out with this false reality we try to live in.

Anyway, I just had to share this. It makes me sad for where we are as a humanity.

Peace

--Free

**GRIOT** Pentecostal Ghost Stories (Part 2)

(Please see the notes at the end of this post)

In the previous post, I didn't really give you ghost stories. I gave you creepy stories but the real ghost story in our family has to do with me. Of course. With my scaredy-cat self...

I was born in June of the year my Grandma Jack died. My cousin, Candy, was born that September. Grandma had gotten sick sometime in March or April. She died basically of untreated "sugar diabetes" and high blood pressure. That's so common in the black race that our people in Texas used to say that someone died of "the sugar and salt".

People in my family at that time didn't go to see doctors regularly. They would get healing teas and balms and poultices from women who were knowledgeable. Mama told me that a lot of that knowledge had been handed down from slave ancestors. The problem is, those ancestors had been dealing with a different diet and lifestyle. 

I rarely eat even a burger these days

Grandma knew that she didn't have long to live. She had gone from being able to work from dawn to dusk to being waited on by some of the many kids she had raised - hers and those of other people. Eventually, she spent most of her time sitting in a chair on the porch or in her bedroom while ladies from the church sat with her. They read the Bible to her and prayed with her. Her kids made sure she ate and drank something. She had worked so hard all her life and now she was just tired.

This is my grandmother, 
Gretchel "Aunt Jack" Pruitt

Sitting with her on the porch one day, my mother unintentionally started a tradition** that I will tell you about in a bit. Grandma was feeling really bad that day but she sat on the porch while my pregnant (with me) mother kept her company. At one point, Grandma fell into a doze and my mother was thinking the worst. She called Grandma and got no answer. Thinking that if Grandma wasn't dead, she was close, my mother quietly told her that if she needed to let go, she could. She told Grandma that she'd earned her rest and that if she was ready to go home to the Lord, everyone here would be all right.

Mother was startled when Grandma roused herself awake enough to say that she was ready to go "Home" but was waiting to see her grandbabies. She was talking about me and my cousin.  She lived to see both of us. Candy was born on the 7th of September. The family took Grandma to the hospital to see Candy and her mama. Then Grandma Jack died on the 8th. 

Every time Mama would tell that part of the story, I would feel so moved and loved and connected to my ancestry. My grandmother waited for me and my favorite cousin to be born. That is special to me.

Then Mama would get to the creepy part of the story and I would end up sleeping with the lights on for the next week.

I get it, baby boy

After Grandma died, Mama and Daddy were staying in her house to take care of things for a bit. My father was military and we were going to moving away soon to be with him at his next base. He was getting to spend a little family time with his wife and the new baby (me). At this point, I am around 3 or 4 months old.

Laying in bed one night, down the hall from my Grandma's old room, Daddy was talking to Mama about all the changes that would be happening. He was discussing the drive to the new base and getting the new place all set up for a new child in addition to my older siblings, and blah-blah-blah. Being a new mom, my mother was tired and only half-listening. She got up at one point to make sure that I was covered well and tucked in. I was sleeping soundly.

Like couples do, they would talk there in the dark and go quiet for long spells. I was in a crib against a wall across the room from the bed. These old houses had big rooms and this one had an entry door from the hallway on one side of the bed and another door that exited out on the other side of the room. 

In my crib, I had fretted a couple of times but quieted back down enough that my mother and father dozed off.  Until my father was nudging my mom awake because he'd heard something. Footsteps, he said. Out in the hall. Mama listened but didn't hear anything but me starting to fuss just a little. She was just drifting back to sleep when she did hear. Not only did she hear the steps she recognized them. They were her mother's.

The steps had come down the hall from Grandma's room. While Mama and Daddy were now laying there very alert, the steps came into the room and paused. Then they moved toward the crib. I stopped fussing.

At this point, my Mom would always have to stop to herself under control because she'd be laughing so hard from remembering my father's reaction.

She said that she was kind of sitting up and watching the crib and it was rocking very slightly. She turned to ask my father if he was seeing that, but he was holding up the sheet in front of his face so that he wouldn't see. 

Of course, at this point in the story, I always asked my mother if she had been scared. "Scared of what?" she'd always say. "It was my mother, checking on my baby."

Me:

Okay so. That story always made me shiver a little when I was younger. Now that my mother herself is passed, I think about that story with a whole new perspective. As a Christian who has now studied the Bible and looked into things such as "ghosts", that story gives me nightmares. 

There is no such thing as "ghosts". The dead are dead and they aren't coming back to haunt or trouble the living. So... what was rocking my crib? 

See what I mean? 

I choose to believe that maybe what was in that room that night was an angel, maybe? The only other option is... not an angel...

Well, I've told that story. Now I am going to go put on some lights, say some prayers, and douse myself in holy water. 

Peace

--Free

**When my mother was in the hospital and barely hanging on, my sister and I told her that we would be okay if she wanted to go be with the Lord. Not long after, she "let go" and died. Years later, I had to sit alone with my sister and tell her the same thing. I didn't think about this being a "tradition" until later. 

NOTE: I have to clarify that, as an adult Christian, I do not believe in ghosts, every dead person resting in peace just because they are dead, people becoming angels when they die, or any kind of communication with the dead. The dead are dead. My grandma is not coming back to watch over me or tell me where to find the old watch that was lost years ago. The only things from the dead "communicating" with those of us still alive are nothing I want to know about. As an adult, I also no longer believe "shouting" in church or other emotion-based disturbances in worship should be a thing. True faith is not based on emotion. True faith is based on the belief and hope in salvation through Jesus Christ. When music and apparel and other types of "show" become more important than worship and learning, we are making our faith more about us than about the One in whom we profess to believe. I think that churches need to be more focused on making sure that members know the Bible, know and can defend the faith, and in showing due reverence. We should not base the way we worship on pure emotion and imitation. We are to be a light to the world, not entertainment.

**GRIOT** Pentecostal Ghost Stories (Part 1)

Please see the notes at the end of this post

So, I was raised in a holy-roller-type - aka "Holiness" church. I say "raised in" because, even though I only remember going from about the age of 10 to 14, I spent more time on those pews than I did in my bed.

Even though my mother and grandmother went to C.O.G.I.G. churches, they didn't exactly share all the beliefs. The church my family went to believed in things that some people outside the culture will find strange. Now that I am an adult who studies the Bible on a regular basis, I find them more than strange...

• "Shouting" (also called "getting happy" or "getting the Holy Ghost")

So... is the service about worshipping the Lord?
Or entertaining ourselves?

• Speaking in tongues - which, even as a child, I doubted was authentic.

Who is she speaking to?
 And who is interpreting what she's saying?
I have questions...

Not listening to secular music or dancing - like a lot of black churches did. Baptist, Holiness, C.O.G.I.C, etc. This is either ironic or not since so many great singers came out of these churches.  I give you Sam Cooke (Holiness), The Staple Singers (Baptist), Aretha Franklin (Baptist), Otis Redding, Billie Holiday (Catholic), Whitney Houston (Baptist), Marvin Gaye (Pentecostal), etc. If they didn't come out of the churches, they took their sounds from the churches.

• Women not wearing pants.
• Women not wearing excessive jewelry.
• Women not wearing makeup.

And when I say that they had these beliefs, I meant they lived these beliefs. Most of them. There were always the folks who had come straight to church from the pools halls and "jick joints" (juke joints). The majority though had grown up dressing and behaving like good, rule-keeping saints.

My grandmother adhered to the dress code and she didn't care for secular music or a lot of jewelry or makeup. However, she didn't get with all the shouting and speaking in tongues. Neither did my mother. Neither did I.

Another thing that I know now as "not cool" is a belief or participation in the paranormal. My mother and grandmother, though... they had horror stories to rival those found on Reddit. Most of their stories centered in some way toward Voodoo or Hoodoo or similar practices. 

One story was about a woman who had been "cursed" by a jealous rival who had married her lover. The jealous woman had warned the other woman that she would make sure she was never happy if she went through with the marriage. The marriage went through. Soon after, the newlywed began to get sick. Her stomach ached and she started to be really fatigued. She couldn't find a way to be comfortable and would have to be on all fours with her knees tucked under her belly. Things went downhill fast and soon she was confined to bed and started going downhill fast. As she was near death, someone attending to her saw her love rival peering into the window of the bedroom, looking grim and angry.  She focused her stare on the sick woman as she mouthed some words then left. That evening, the sick woman began to make a "lowing sound" - like that of a cow. She didn't stop making that sound until she died.

The other story I heard was probably to scare kids straight. Both my grandmothers were in awe of storms. Or rather, they were in awe of the power of God. Some people talk about Mother Nature, but holy rollers believe in "the master of the wind" (go read your Gospel accounts). When it began to thunder and lightning, everyone was made to sit down and be still. I wasn't around to know how Grandma Jack handled things but Big Mama made us unplug everything in the house. We weren't even allowed to read. If we were going to do anything but lay down and take a nap, it was going to have to do with prayer.

So of course, kids needed to be taught to respect the power or the weather. This next story is what was told to kids who came before me.

A bad storm broke out and a woman was getting her kids settled down to quietly sit things out. As in a lot of homes, the wife was devout but the husband was less so. He was actually quite the drunk and was often slightly abusive.

As the wife settled the kids and began shutting off lamps, the husband got angry about it. She had to bravely defy him to finish shutting off lights and closing shutters. She begged him to "Sit down and have some respect for the Lord." 

That really set him off.  He ran over to the front door, snatched it open, and began yelling curses at the sky. There was a loud BOOM of thunder and a flash of lightning that lit up the whole living room. The man went silent and fell against the side of the door. His wife ran over to see if he was all right.

According to my mother (and her mother), the man's face has been twisted into a stroke-like grimace that never went away.

As I have grown up, I no longer give time to a lot of the nonsense from my youth. However, I still sit my behind down when there is a storm thrashing around in the skies!

Peace

--Free

NOTE: I have to clarify that, as an adult Christian, I do not believe in ghosts, every dead person resting in peace just because they are dead, people becoming angels when they die, or any kind of communication with the dead. The dead are dead. My grandma is not coming back to watch over me or tell me where to find the old watch that was lost years ago. The only things from the dead "communicating" with those of us still alive are nothing I want to know about. As an adult, I also no longer believe "shouting" in church or other emotion-based disturbances in worship should be a thing. True faith is not based on emotion. True faith is based on the belief and hope in salvation through Jesus Christ. When music and apparel and other types of "show" become more important than worship and learning, we are making our faith more about us than about the One in whom we profess to believe. I think that churches need to be more focused on making sure that members know the Bible, know and can defend the faith, and in showing due reverence. We should not base the way we worship on pure emotion and imitation. We are to be a light to the world, not entertainment.

The Power of "Drawing Back a Nub"

When reading some Southern sayings the other day, I started to think about the short stories I'm working on. "Drawing Back a Nub" will feature stories about growing up with an old-school, down-home mother.

It has dawned on me that a lot of the parenting techniques my mother used back when I was a kid would land someone in jail today. Kids are so easily "traumatized" today that parents are cautious about "harming their psyche". Whatever. I'm not going to bash what other people do, but I know that nothing my mother did cause any trauma or harmed my psyche. She 'harmed' my backside with a switch plenty of times, but never without a reason or a positive result. And what are those results? Well, I've never been in jail, I am respectful to my elders, and I have nothing but good memories of the way my mother raised me.

One of the things my mother (and most other Southern mothers) was known for was a way with words. Here are some of the things I can remember Mom saying to me at some point during my youth:

• "Girl, sit down before I snatch a crook in your neck." (How exactly does one 'snatch a crook' in someone's neck?)
• "You better take your hand off that bone you call a hip when you're talking to me." (These days, I wish I could still find that bone under all this fat!)
• "Sit your little narrow ass down before I pop a knot on it." (Pop a knot? On my behind? Wha???)
• "Comb that part out of the middle of your hair, looking like Sister Tutta." (To this day, I have no idea who Sister Tutta was. Apparently she had bad fashion sense because she came up often in the critiques of my own hair and wardrobe choices.)
• "I'll slap that nasty little attitude of yours across the street." (Well... dang!)
• "I'll slap the taste out of your mouth."
• "You gonna draw back a nub" was said if you reached for something you shouldn't be reaching for. That one is harsh!

When I was reading that article about regional sayings, I had one mystery cleared up. Apparently when my mother said someone was "Drunk as (or drunker than) Cooter Brown", she was speaking of a well-known town drunk. That saying was right there on the list I saw. (And here I spent years trying to identify which of my parent's friends lived under that Alias.)

I look at kids today and wonder what they are going to remember about their parent's discipline methods. I suppose most will involve having their electronics taken away. Maybe being restricted from surfing the Internet will be the biggest punishment. Huh. They have no idea! I think the worst thing my mother ever did to me was not to give me a "whooping" but to have me go out to the yard and pick out the switch she was going to use. 

There is "power in the tongue" as the Bible teaches. I know that is the truth. My mother didn't always speak "discipline", she spoke "love". The power of my mother's love didn't save any of us kids from making errors in judgment, dealing with heartbreak and heartache, or keep us out of every bad situation we got into. What her love did was keep us from giving in to any of that. When we fell down due to our problems, we never stayed down. When we lost one fight to get ahead, we didn't tap out. Our mother's love is with us to this day. She's been gone now for 20 years now and we still abide by her advice and guidance. There were a few times in my life when I had the chance to make a lot of money but I'd hear Mama's voice saying that "a lifetime of luxury in this life is not worth an eternity of regret in the next."

I WILL be checking out this site asap!
I remember this saying so well.

So, yeah, Mama could be rough on us. We got scolded and "whooped" with switches, and we were told when we were wrong. But we turned out okay. To be honest, the only trauma I suffer from today is being afraid of all the kids who didn't have a mother like mine.

Peace

--Free

P.S.: I wrote this post so long ago that I have forgotten where I got the list of sayings I mentioned. I just went and searched out a couple of sources that you might enjoy:

• "Black Mama's Sayings" 
• Southern Mama's Say...