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Normally, I don't blog about politics or race. When I did in the past, it was just childish venting and when I realized that, I stopped. This post is not meant to be childish or petty but it will involve some venting. And I am posting it asap.
Today I experienced something ugly at our little neighborhood market. Let me back up and explain the current social temperature here in this town. I am in Northern Iowa and, for such a Trump-centric voting base, I have only rarely run into people acting like Trump at his worst. I think that the Trump voters here chose him for the same reasons anyone chooses a candidate. They wanted someone who represented them and their interests. I have my own opinions about whether or not they chose correctly, but, oh well. My point is that I don't think there are a lot of Steve King type people around where I live. The people here are decent, civil, and as worn down as the rest of us by the economy and various social stresses. That said, I know that, like anywhere, there are people here with hate in their hearts. There are also people with their own stories and circumstances that have nothing to do with hating other people just for the sake of hating.
Okay.
So, basically, up until today, the only kind of ugliness that I've had directed at me was the time I accidentally ran over a woman's heel with my shopping cart. She turned around and gave me a look that was screaming "Nigger" in at least 5 different languages. Here's the thing: had I not run into her, she probably would have never given me a second glance.
When I was at the store today, the man in line behind me didn't just hate me - he wanted me to know that he did. He went out of his way to let me know. I only happened to notice him because I glanced back when I out the little bar on the conveyor belt so he could load his groceries separate from mine. I could feel the laser of nastiness he was sending my way so I openly turned and looked him in the eye - you know, the way you do with vicious animals and human bullies. Oh! Man! He glared at me and fixed his mouth as if he wanted to spit on me.
I tried not to let this get to me and I finished checking out without changing my expression. (Okay, I already have resting bitch face, so I had to work a little to look slightly less bitchy.) The clerk is a young man who knows me and he watched this whole thing like he was worried something was about to pop off.
Here's the thing, I don't engage with ugliness unless I'm forced to physically defend myself. That kind of thing hasn't happened since I was a teenager and had a lot to learn about social graces. I wasn't worried that this situation was going to go beyond the man's visual assault. He's an angry man and I don't know why. I do know that I'm an easy target for his anger. I'm black and female with nappy natural hair. In that man's mind, I probably look like every person he's supposed to hate for ruining his vision of "making America great again." You know, 'great' like back when the Klan galloped around in the night, holding up their Christian faith as a shield against (not for) everything our Savior taught. Our Savior and their Savior - that Jewish rabbi who died on the cross and is the Christ in 'Christian'...
The thing about hate is that it's not always backed up by reason or logic. It's usually not even directed at the right target. It's just this mask that some people wear to hide their real fears. I can disagree with someone without hating them (or their demographic). Hate is a poison that stops discussion and debate and the rational exchange of ideas and opinions. Hate allows people to be ignorant without shame. Hate can also be a tool that people use to divide and conquer.
Of course, all this ugliness wasn't born when Trump was sworn into office. He didn't invent hate any more than Hitler invented anti-semitism. You see where I'm going here?
The one thing that irritates me most about the past election and this current president is the backing and encouragement given to Trump by the evangelical Christians. I too am a Christian, so I want to speak on this. Yes, he's supported Israel and he claims to be pro-life. For some of us, that gives him carte blanche to crap on the rest of anything resembling moral decency. The other irritation is the whole 'MAGA' thing. As if every decent person in this country has not been a part of trying to make and keep America great. As a woman who cringes every time the president opens his mouth to say something horrible and divisive, I don't think greatness is the goal.
So that's my rant. I don't want to go on because ranting doesn't solve anything. The best thing I can do is to keep praying for everyone so that, when the time comes, we will be able to heal and come back together as brother and sister citizens. That's going to be most important for people like me and the other broke and disenfranchised folks - you know, like that dude at the store.
Peace
--Free
Today I experienced something ugly at our little neighborhood market. Let me back up and explain the current social temperature here in this town. I am in Northern Iowa and, for such a Trump-centric voting base, I have only rarely run into people acting like Trump at his worst. I think that the Trump voters here chose him for the same reasons anyone chooses a candidate. They wanted someone who represented them and their interests. I have my own opinions about whether or not they chose correctly, but, oh well. My point is that I don't think there are a lot of Steve King type people around where I live. The people here are decent, civil, and as worn down as the rest of us by the economy and various social stresses. That said, I know that, like anywhere, there are people here with hate in their hearts. There are also people with their own stories and circumstances that have nothing to do with hating other people just for the sake of hating.
Okay.
So, basically, up until today, the only kind of ugliness that I've had directed at me was the time I accidentally ran over a woman's heel with my shopping cart. She turned around and gave me a look that was screaming "Nigger" in at least 5 different languages. Here's the thing: had I not run into her, she probably would have never given me a second glance.
When I was at the store today, the man in line behind me didn't just hate me - he wanted me to know that he did. He went out of his way to let me know. I only happened to notice him because I glanced back when I out the little bar on the conveyor belt so he could load his groceries separate from mine. I could feel the laser of nastiness he was sending my way so I openly turned and looked him in the eye - you know, the way you do with vicious animals and human bullies. Oh! Man! He glared at me and fixed his mouth as if he wanted to spit on me.I tried not to let this get to me and I finished checking out without changing my expression. (Okay, I already have resting bitch face, so I had to work a little to look slightly less bitchy.) The clerk is a young man who knows me and he watched this whole thing like he was worried something was about to pop off.
Here's the thing, I don't engage with ugliness unless I'm forced to physically defend myself. That kind of thing hasn't happened since I was a teenager and had a lot to learn about social graces. I wasn't worried that this situation was going to go beyond the man's visual assault. He's an angry man and I don't know why. I do know that I'm an easy target for his anger. I'm black and female with nappy natural hair. In that man's mind, I probably look like every person he's supposed to hate for ruining his vision of "making America great again." You know, 'great' like back when the Klan galloped around in the night, holding up their Christian faith as a shield against (not for) everything our Savior taught. Our Savior and their Savior - that Jewish rabbi who died on the cross and is the Christ in 'Christian'...
The thing about hate is that it's not always backed up by reason or logic. It's usually not even directed at the right target. It's just this mask that some people wear to hide their real fears. I can disagree with someone without hating them (or their demographic). Hate is a poison that stops discussion and debate and the rational exchange of ideas and opinions. Hate allows people to be ignorant without shame. Hate can also be a tool that people use to divide and conquer.Of course, all this ugliness wasn't born when Trump was sworn into office. He didn't invent hate any more than Hitler invented anti-semitism. You see where I'm going here?
The one thing that irritates me most about the past election and this current president is the backing and encouragement given to Trump by the evangelical Christians. I too am a Christian, so I want to speak on this. Yes, he's supported Israel and he claims to be pro-life. For some of us, that gives him carte blanche to crap on the rest of anything resembling moral decency. The other irritation is the whole 'MAGA' thing. As if every decent person in this country has not been a part of trying to make and keep America great. As a woman who cringes every time the president opens his mouth to say something horrible and divisive, I don't think greatness is the goal. |
| Very said & very true |
So that's my rant. I don't want to go on because ranting doesn't solve anything. The best thing I can do is to keep praying for everyone so that, when the time comes, we will be able to heal and come back together as brother and sister citizens. That's going to be most important for people like me and the other broke and disenfranchised folks - you know, like that dude at the store.
Peace
--Free
