.png "English"){kind=small}
Damn you, 2020. Damn. You.
This surely has been a hell of a year, hasn't it? We are still dealing with the COVID and, sadly, still dealing with a lot of the racial unrest we thought we'd half-beat in the '50s. And people everywhere are just restless about everything. Restless, unsure, and a little bit stir crazy, I think.
I have been lucky not to have caught that nasty virus although I had a scare the other day. I started feeling dizzy, weak, and just crappy in general a few days after my weekly meds wore off. I thought, Uh oh, here we go. I locked down tighter than usual, not even going out of the apartment to empty the trash or check the mailbox. I wore my mask even though no one was inside my place and I washed my hands so much that I triggered my psoriasis. The biggest scare was losing my appetite. (The only time I lose my appetite is when I am worried. ) Thankfully, after a couple of days, I started feeling better and I really hope all is well. Who knows? I have no idea what it takes to get tested. I'm going to ask at my next doctor's appointment.
Once I got over my scare, I was able to get out and go walking with my walking buddy. She walks almost every day but I join her when I feel up to it. On our last walk, she kind of blew my mind. Here in our little town, I haven't run into a lot of aggressive racial issues. People tend to keep their opinions to themselves and remain civil. For the most part. My walking buddy is someone who only "got used" to being around black people later in her life. She's not the most politically correct person but I appreciate her honesty and perspective. Whenever she offends me, I let her know and she returns the favor. We are learning from each other.
During our walk, my buddy and I were talking about nothing serious at all. I was wearing my mask which is something I haven't done on our outdoor walks. I figured I was safer in the fresh air and with the social distancing. After my scare, I put that mask on so fast I almost broke a strap. During the walk, I was almost drowning in the condensation under the mask. Our little town is already so humid that it takes me months to get through a small bottle of lotion. Walking our route around the lake is a little breezier but still humid.
My buddy casually asked if I didn't want to take off my mask. I had sweat pouring down my face and I must have looked miserable. I told her that I needed to be a little extra careful. Every now and then, I'd lift the bottom of the mask, gulp some cooler air, and go back to suffocating again. My neighbor joked that I looked like some of "the crazy foreigners she'd recently seen."
Wait. What?
She started explaining that she had seen some "of those women who walk around covered up like criminals". I had to think about what she was saying. Was she being mean? Ignorant? Paranoid? Stupid?
I asked who she was talking about. Muslims? Plain Folk? The Amish? (It's common to see a few members of each of these groups around town.)
"You know - those terrorist people."
Wow. Wow. I was stunned. I felt mad, sad, and just kind of disgusted.
"If you mean the Muslims, they are no more 'terrorist' than anyone else. They aren't the Klan."
I don't know if she knew how to take this. She didn't say anything for a long time and I think she wanted to feel some kind of way toward me. The only thing we talked about for the rest of the walk was the weather, the passersby, and how pretty the lake was.
When I got home, I was so upset that I felt twitchy.
My walking buddy has had very limited exposure to the world outside the Midwest. And I get it that she is close to eighty and white and a little sheltered. What I don't get is how she felt like it was okay to say something so thoughtless to me.
You know how you get upset about something but you only think of good responses when it's too late? That was me. I was sitting in the apartment wondering if I should have asked her how 'terroristic' she thought I was. I pondered ordering a Black Panther T-shirt to wear around the building - or better yet, a mask with a Black Power fist on it.
The thing about anger against ignorance is that it can sometimes make you react ignorantly.
I am so glad that I got a chance to cool down before I saw my walking buddy again. I didn't mention the 'incident' but I can't wait for our next walk. I want to remind her that older people like us need to be examples of decency for those who come after us. The whole reason we are having such turmoil now is that we were allowed to view and entire groups of people through the lens of stereotypes and ignorance.
Let me put my personal opinion out there:
This surely has been a hell of a year, hasn't it? We are still dealing with the COVID and, sadly, still dealing with a lot of the racial unrest we thought we'd half-beat in the '50s. And people everywhere are just restless about everything. Restless, unsure, and a little bit stir crazy, I think.
I have been lucky not to have caught that nasty virus although I had a scare the other day. I started feeling dizzy, weak, and just crappy in general a few days after my weekly meds wore off. I thought, Uh oh, here we go. I locked down tighter than usual, not even going out of the apartment to empty the trash or check the mailbox. I wore my mask even though no one was inside my place and I washed my hands so much that I triggered my psoriasis. The biggest scare was losing my appetite. (The only time I lose my appetite is when I am worried. ) Thankfully, after a couple of days, I started feeling better and I really hope all is well. Who knows? I have no idea what it takes to get tested. I'm going to ask at my next doctor's appointment.
Once I got over my scare, I was able to get out and go walking with my walking buddy. She walks almost every day but I join her when I feel up to it. On our last walk, she kind of blew my mind. Here in our little town, I haven't run into a lot of aggressive racial issues. People tend to keep their opinions to themselves and remain civil. For the most part. My walking buddy is someone who only "got used" to being around black people later in her life. She's not the most politically correct person but I appreciate her honesty and perspective. Whenever she offends me, I let her know and she returns the favor. We are learning from each other.
During our walk, my buddy and I were talking about nothing serious at all. I was wearing my mask which is something I haven't done on our outdoor walks. I figured I was safer in the fresh air and with the social distancing. After my scare, I put that mask on so fast I almost broke a strap. During the walk, I was almost drowning in the condensation under the mask. Our little town is already so humid that it takes me months to get through a small bottle of lotion. Walking our route around the lake is a little breezier but still humid.
My buddy casually asked if I didn't want to take off my mask. I had sweat pouring down my face and I must have looked miserable. I told her that I needed to be a little extra careful. Every now and then, I'd lift the bottom of the mask, gulp some cooler air, and go back to suffocating again. My neighbor joked that I looked like some of "the crazy foreigners she'd recently seen."
Wait. What?
She started explaining that she had seen some "of those women who walk around covered up like criminals". I had to think about what she was saying. Was she being mean? Ignorant? Paranoid? Stupid?
I asked who she was talking about. Muslims? Plain Folk? The Amish? (It's common to see a few members of each of these groups around town.)
"You know - those terrorist people."
Wow. Wow. I was stunned. I felt mad, sad, and just kind of disgusted.
"If you mean the Muslims, they are no more 'terrorist' than anyone else. They aren't the Klan."
I don't know if she knew how to take this. She didn't say anything for a long time and I think she wanted to feel some kind of way toward me. The only thing we talked about for the rest of the walk was the weather, the passersby, and how pretty the lake was.
When I got home, I was so upset that I felt twitchy.
My walking buddy has had very limited exposure to the world outside the Midwest. And I get it that she is close to eighty and white and a little sheltered. What I don't get is how she felt like it was okay to say something so thoughtless to me.
You know how you get upset about something but you only think of good responses when it's too late? That was me. I was sitting in the apartment wondering if I should have asked her how 'terroristic' she thought I was. I pondered ordering a Black Panther T-shirt to wear around the building - or better yet, a mask with a Black Power fist on it.
The thing about anger against ignorance is that it can sometimes make you react ignorantly.
I am so glad that I got a chance to cool down before I saw my walking buddy again. I didn't mention the 'incident' but I can't wait for our next walk. I want to remind her that older people like us need to be examples of decency for those who come after us. The whole reason we are having such turmoil now is that we were allowed to view and entire groups of people through the lens of stereotypes and ignorance.
Let me put my personal opinion out there:
- Black lives matter. And that doesn't mean that all lives don't matter, but right now we are talking about violence against black people so let's put egos aside and stay on point.
- All cops are not bad. Some cops are dangerous. For my walking buddy to view anyone wearing Muslim garb as 'terroristic' is about as intelligent as me saying the same about all cops - or all whites.
- Being old doesn't excuse ignorance. As long as you have a working brain, you have the ability to learn. Learning kills ignorance. I don't have a fully working brain and I can comprehend that much.
- We better realize that "me against you" battle we are in right now is meant to make us forget that we should all be working against the greater, more powerful, more dangerous idea of "them". Those of us down here on the battleground forget that we might be fighting someone else's war.
I have an acquaintance who is a very proud "Reagan Republican". I respect that. I don't agree with it, but I understand. When I remind this person that I am proud of the good done by groups like the Black Panthers, I get lectured about the all the negatives portrayed about the BPP. One day, I need to make a list of all my grievances against Reagan. Or I can be the bigger person and just stay with "I don't agree but I understand."
And back to the Black Lives/All Lives thing. I can't remember where I saw it but someone summed it up well as "Don't come to my funeral and make the mourning about you."
Peace
--Free
