I have accumulated these links for watching Free ad-supported TV. I am pretty sure they all have mobile apps also. Here are the links:
When I first posted about my improved BP numbers 5 or 6 weeks ago, I was wondering how the magnesium glycinate and nitric oxide supplements would affect my labs. Well, I had my labs done last week and things were great. It's not uncommon for my creatinine levels to fluctuate. Sometimes the level gets worrying enough that the infusion nurses have to check with my doctor about whether or not to proceed with the treatment. This time, nothing.
None of my doctors seem willing to admit that the supplements have anything to do with the lowering of my blood pressure. They all chalk it up to a change in my eating habits (that ain't happened), my getting more exercise (nope), or cutting back on salt (nope again). I will be seeing yet another new rheumatologist soon and will be asking him about the supplements.
For now, I am continuing with both the supplements and my regular BP meds. I am still drinking a minimum of 50 to 70 ounces of water daily (usually 70 ounces). I still drink about 12 ounces of coffee daily. And I am still on my pizza kick.
My salt intake is not down. I'm not bad about having a lot of salt in my diet and I've been eating a variety of meals using the same ingredients. My daily meals for approximately the last 6 months include homemade dough (made with a teaspoon of salt for enough dough for 6 small meals), mozzarella cheese, about 3 tablespoons of sauce, some black olives, pepperoni slices, and EVOO. If I make a small pizza, I use about 6 slices of pepperoni, a fourth cup of cheese, and 2 to 3 tablespoons of olive oil. Lately, I will have about 3 tablespoons of aioli. Sometimes, I make a loaf of garlic and mozzarella bread to eat with some butter or sauce or aioli. My BP after a pizza for lunch today was 125/64.
By the way, I am using this BP monitor - which is much better than my last one. I like that it has been reading close to what the nurses get during appointments. It also warns the user about high readings and incorrect placement of the cuff. The only thing I regret is not getting it at Walmart where my health insurance would have covered the price.
The big thing is, I guess, whether or not I feel better. The answer is, not really. The only difference is that I don't get as many headaches and my weight is dropping slightly. I still have the fatigue but my doctors say that is due to the sarcoidosis - even though having high blood pressure doesn't help. I still have days when I can't think clearly and I still occasionally have to be really careful about my balance so I don't run into walls or trip myself.
The reason I am so happy about my blood pressure being lower is mainly because, the better my BP, the less damage to my kidneys. I have a traumatic fear of ever needing dialysis. That will never be on my bucket list.
So, yes, I am feeling optimistic about my kidney health. I still wish every day that someone will find a cure for sarcoidosis but I will take any win I get.
Peace
--Free
IMPORTANT NOTE: Understand that I am NOT offering health or any other kind of advice. I am simply relating my personal experiences. Also, I am not compensated for the products mentioned or linked to in this post. You should always consult with your medical care team before taking anything not prescribed - including supplements in powder, tablet, liquid, or any other form. Supplements are not regulated and, like anything, can have varying quality issues.
Looks like there is a new player in the afro-curly hair game. The brand is Pardon My Fro and I got to try the Detangler Leave-In.
Right off, I can confidently say that I like this a lot better than Kinky Curly Knot Today (KCKT) - for many reasons but for one in particular. Let me just give the bullet point pros:
Why in the world had I never had aioli before? And how? As much as I love condiments - and garlic - you'd think I'd have always known about the yumminess that is aioli. Nope. I had aioli for the first time about 3 weeks ago. And I have managed to put at least a little bit of it on everything I've eaten since then. I'm thinking of pulling my toaster out of storage just to butter a loaf of toast with this garlicky goodness.
So, yeah, I love aioli. And I haven't even had a good homemade version - other than my own!
Of course, because it's so dang delicious, aioli can also be fattening. I didn't realize that until I found a basic and "newbie" recipe for it. The recipe is a 4-ingredient one: mayo, garlic, lemon juice, and pepper. And mayo is the largest part of that.
The first aioli I tried was the J.L. Kraft brand. The garlic smell slapped me across the back of the head as soon as I opened the jar. And I was in love. This one is very thick and flavorful. It can be almost too strongly flavored to eat with some foods. I like it best with pizza.
The next brand I tried was Hellman's. It's much thinner and much milder in flavor than the Kraft one. It's also cheaper at my local stores. It's better, in my opinion, for drizzling over veggies. Which I did. Broccoli never tasted so good!
Because I know that I never again want my fridge to be aioli-free, I decided to look up that recipe. My first batch turned out just okay. I didn't have the energy to crush up garlic so I just used powder - yes, I know that somewhere a real cook just rolled their eyeballs right out of their sockets. For my next batch, I used garlic paste and full-yolk mayo. That was much better. It's almost better than the store-bought and it certainly is cheaper to make. That's the part that I'm sticking with. The store-bought versions were between $3.50 and $5.00 for just around 12 ounces. I don't eat much at a sitting but still. I can get a 30-ounce jar of good mayo for around 3 bucks and I usually have garlic paste, lemons, or lemon juice and pepper around the place. As bad as I am at math, I know which is the best way to go with that.
When I told my younger brother that I had "discovered" aioli, he couldn't believe I'd never had it before. Ever. He told me that the best kind he'd ever tasted in his life was in a Greek pizza place we used to frequent back in Anchorage.
I've been thinking of eating a more Mediterranean diet for a long while now. Just knowing that aioli sauce comes out of that culture inspires me. I can see myself cutting back on bread just so I can enjoy all kinds of salads drizzled with that sauce.
 |
| Do NOT get the Shan paste. It's bland as paper. |
What I find kind of funny is that when I look for the condiment in stores, the labels usually say "garlic aioli". I learned that the very word "aioli" is derived from the Provençal language, where "ai" means garlic, and "oli" means oil.
Anyway... If you have never had it, this is one condiment you will want to try at least once. If you want to try making some for yourself, Google via ChatGPT suggests this recipe:
Traditional aioli is a delicious and creamy garlic sauce that originated in the Mediterranean region, particularly in Provence, France, and Catalonia, Spain. It's typically made by emulsifying garlic, egg yolks, and olive oil. Here's a traditional aioli recipe for you:
Ingredients:
- 4-6 garlic cloves, minced
- 2 large egg yolks
- 1 cup extra-virgin olive oil
- 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
- Salt, to taste
Instructions:
1. In a mortar and pestle, crush the minced garlic cloves with a pinch of salt until you have a smooth paste. Alternatively, you can use a garlic press or finely mince the garlic and mash it with the back of a spoon.
2. In a mixing bowl, whisk the egg yolks until they become smooth and creamy.
3. Slowly add the olive oil to the egg yolks while whisking continuously. Start by adding a few drops at a time and gradually increase to a thin stream as the mixture starts to emulsify. It's important to whisk constantly in one direction to encourage the emulsification process.
4. Once you've added all the olive oil, the aioli should have a thick, creamy consistency. Stir in the fresh lemon juice, which helps to brighten the flavor and stabilize the emulsion.
5. Add the garlic paste to the aioli and mix well to incorporate. Taste and season with salt according to your preference. You can also adjust the amount of garlic or lemon juice to suit your taste.
6. Transfer the aioli to a jar or airtight container and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes before serving. This resting period allows the flavors to meld together and the aioli to thicken further.
Traditional aioli is typically served as a dipping sauce for vegetables, seafood, or spread on sandwiches. It adds a burst of flavor and creaminess to any dish. Enjoy!
I basically used this recipe but with a jar of garlic paste and bottled juice. Also, I fridged my sauce overnight before using it. Was it good? Good enough that I might never eat plain mayo again and I know I won't be buying any more storebought aioli.
Peace
--Free
Where I live in the Midwest, the summer temperatures are generally wonderful - high 70s to high 80s. To my family in Alaska and Arizona, that sounds ideal. But there's a huge downside: the humidity.
 |
| ©WeatherSpark.com |
It's noon right now and this is what my Weatherbug reports are looking like:
So many people who are not Christian have a such bad view of Christianity. In most cases, this may be because of how they see our faith being represented by people who only call themselves "Christian". I myself sometimes find it hard to separate the Christian faith from some of the poor examples I see. But as with anything, people can adopt any label they like but the proof is in their living.
Why are there so many poor examples of the Christian faith? I think it most often comes down to ignorance. Someone may be just have been born into a tradition that they don't understand or they got caught up in a cult or a fad. And for a lot of people, it's that they are under teachers of false doctrines.
Many people (like myself) can end up in Christian churches that are not good for them so they don't even know what it is to truly be a Christian. Maybe the person is not yet a Christian and doesn't know better. Maybe they are Christians who don't study their Bible - and so they don't know better. Maybe (and I think this is the most common reason) they put too much faith in the leader(s) of their church.
I'm no scholar but I am growing in my faith. I want to point out some signs of churches and "Christians" to avoid. Along the way, I hope you learn something about the faith - the true faith that is Christianity. By the way, when I use the term "true Christian", I mean one who is earnestly wanting to learn what Christianity is and is not. I will start with churches.
Avoid a church that...
I was thinking about my goddaughter/niece and a song ran through my mind. Counting the time that she has been gone from us I find that it's 4,846 hours. 202 days or 29 weeks.
It's easier to look up the time she's been gone. It's hard to imagine the conversations we haven't had. I just miss that girl so much.
The other day, I realized that I've been sort of avoiding the plant she gave me for Mother's Day. I think that was five years ago. That thing grows like crazy with the least amount of care. I have it set up with an auto-watering system and that's good or else it might have died too.
Looking at the Monstera plant makes me think of my niece and that is sometimes painful. I did not really realize that I'd been neglecting it - even when I was doing the apartment re-do. Last week, I did notice that her (yes, "her") leaves were dull and some were dead. I think that it's a sign of my grief healing that I was able to show her some love.
I pruned away the dead leaves and still, she looked neglected. So I got some fresh soil and a larger pot and transferred her to her new home.
 |
| Still healing but she's getting there... |
 |
| I had to bind some of the stems! |
Gabby (my niece) would love the color of the pot. I think she had a wig that color once! And I know she loved wearing eyeliner in teal hues.
 |
| Me with my lovely niece circa 2016. Alaska. |
I felt a little bit sad when I finished repotting the plant but I also felt a little bit better than I have for a while. I look at the plant now and just think that I'm so glad I have it. It's a living part of God's nature. It's bold and beautiful.
Gabby would laugh at me if she knew that I walked around here talking to her about the plant. I'd love to hear her laugh at me one more time. I miss her and I just wanted to say that.
Peace
--Free
Finding a good skincare product that works for your budget as good as for your skin... that's tricky. But this Calming Moisture Cream from a brand I'd never heard of before ticks the boxes as they say.
This is a really good face cream. It's not heavy but it is moisturizing. I like the smooth texture. It's not greasy, it's not wet, and it doesn't take a lot for a good effect. The best thing (in my opinion) is the price. It was 10 bucks. That's the part I can't believe. I hope it doesn't get pricier as more people discover it.
I like the cream and the price so much that I took a chance and got the toner from the same brand. I will review that soon. For now, let's talk about this cream.
This has all the good stuff my skin loves - 5 hyaluronic acids, ceramides, shea, collagen - but it's got some ingredients I'd never seen before Madecassoside, Centella Asiatica, and Lonicera. Those are the "calming" ingredients. What surprised me is that it has tea tree. I'm not a huge fan of tea tree for my skin but I don't notice any irritation so there.
When I first started using this, our weather was cold and drying and I had to lightly boost the cream with some of my CeraVe Ointment or Abolene. Once I got the toner, I didn't have to use those other things with the cream except for overnight. Now that the weather is warming up, I notice that the toner and the cream are a perfect duo and don't need any boosting. I wonder if I won't need more than the tiniest bit once the summer humidity hits our town...
For someone with skin that is a bit less dry and, um, mature, this cream is probably fine solo.
My skin is sensitive. Anything can set it off - which is why I worried about the tea tree ingredient - but this doesn't irritate me at all.
Again, the price is amazing. I've had the one jar, using it in the morning (and sometimes at night) for about 6 weeks. This is what's still left:
 |
| Only takes a couple of dabs |
So when I say it doesn't take much, I'm serious. Of course, I also use a toner (most days) and sunscreen. Still, I'm impressed. The product is affordable and the jar will obviously last a while. I have looked over some of the other P.Y. products in the P.Y. Amazon storefront - especially for "dry and sensitive" skin - and they are all quite affordable. The moisturizer is above-drug-store quality but at a drug-store price. I don't need any of the other products right now but I hope they are just as good as this cream and the toner I have.
Peace
--Free
NOTE: Let me say right here and now that I am not giving or even suggesting medical advice. I don't want anyone to do what I am doing without talking to a doctor. Be responsible and sensible with your health!
***********************************************************************************
UPDATE: It's been 6 weeks since I wrote the original post. When I checked my BP just now, it was:
 |
| I really can't wait to show this at my upcoming appt! |
Just thinking back to the days when that top number was in or very close to 200+ is astonishing. I am still taking the supplements (magnesium glycinate and nitric oxide) daily. The magnesium helps with sleep so I take it at bedtime. I'm not as faithful with the nitric oxide but I take at least 1 capsule a day with my morning medications. I am still drinking plenty of water as I have been for the past few years (at least 70 ounces a day and as much as 85 ounces). My diet has not changed. I eat pretty much the same foods every day: pizza on homemade dough with a lot of EVOO, black olives, pepperoni, mozzarella, sauce, and aioli. If not pizza, I will make a flatbread from the dough, season it and eat it with EVOO and maybe aioli. I basically buy the same groceries every other week and do it all over again. I am not especially watching my salt intake and I am not getting any more or less exercise.
So, yeah, I am definitely intrigued by the idea of people finding out what causes their particular HBP.
***********************************************************************************
I have an appointment coming up with one of my doctors and I cannot wait to ask this question: Why don't doctors talk more with patients about supplements?
I think I mentioned here already that I use a magnesium oil spray to help with sleep and anxiety. I tried Ambien for sleep once in the hospital and... no thanks.
The only things doctors have mentioned when I've asked about non-prescription meds for sleep are melatonin and St. John's Wort. I hate both of those. One takes hours to kick in and then makes me groggy for hours after waking and the other just makes me feel weird. I already have enough groggy and "weird" to share with a few people.
When I started using magnesium oil sprays and told my doctors and nurses, they seemed to never have heard of it. Or at least not using it for sleep and anxiety.
Recently, I learned that many people - especially in my age group - are low on basic vitamins and nutrients. That didn't surprise me and for years, I have taken vitamins daily. However, I was very surprised to hear about a couple nutrients that could be helpful for me. Apparently, magnesium glycinate can help with (high) blood pressure and nitric oxide helps with blood flow to the kidneys.
What?????
I checked with one of my doctors about the magnesium glycinate and when I started taking a tablet every evening about 1 or 2 hours before bedtime, I realized what I'd been missing out on. I would go to bed at about 10:30 and sleep like I have not slept in years. I'd wake up feeling very rested and better than I usually do. That energy generally wears off about 4 hours into the day (or, depending on my health, 4 hours in) but that's not surprising and it's still good. I usually wake up ready to lie back down.
After taking the magnesium for a couple of weeks, I had an appointment with my nephrologist. My blood pressure reading was shockingly normal: 116/80.
Again, WHAT????
The doctor was, of course, very pleased. My normal readings look like 140+ or 135 - not bad, but could be better, right? The doctor praised me like I was a good little girl for eating better and getting more exercise. I hated to admit it but I did tell him that I hadn't changed anything except for taking the magnesium. He seemed to poo-poo the idea that the supplement could have any noticeable effect. I'm really sensitive and I felt like my hopeful observation had been politely dismissed.
~sigh~
To understand why that blood pressure reading was so significant, you have to know what my readings used to look like. It wasn't until I was around 35 (young, active, and skinny) that I was diagnosed with HBP. My readings looked like the highest speeds on a car's display - once before finding a combo of prescriptions that worked, the top number was 210. I can't remember the bottom number. That 210 scared my doctor so much that I was sent to the ER to be given treatment. I was advised not to go home until the numbers came down. The thing is, that high number was so normal for me that I didn't feel any different before or after it stabilized to a better reading.
Anyway. That's why a number like 116 was a stunner. So, to continue...
Very recently, I heard about nitric oxide supplements. I searched around on some medical sites (ugh!) for more information. After straining my brain to sort of understand the doctor-ese, I had someone online help me decipher the basics. It turns out that the supplement could help boost blood flow to the kidneys.
I am a CKD Stage 3b patient - like I didn't have enough to deal with healthwise... Why has a doctor never discussed nitric oxide with me? Why will I have to be the one to bring it up at my next appointment?
The last blood pressure check that I did at home - after I'd been taking both supplements - was once again shockingly good: 112/59. Even if there is a reason that I should not use these supplements, they should both be something I knew about from doctors.
I really don't want to be ugly about it but I've lost family members to problems with their blood pressure.
For years, people with high blood pressure were told to lose weight, stop smoking, eat better, exercise more, etc. My sister and my mother tried those things and it changed nothing. Maybe it has something to do with ethnicity or generational bloodlines because high blood pressure has always been a dominant health issue for many black people. And remember that I said I have not changed what I eat or upped my exercise - and my blood pressure is down.
This makes me feel a bit distrustful of the medical profession. Also, I now agree so much more than I did with that silly Chris Rock when he says:
This is the kind of thing that makes me wonder if there really is no cure for the sarcoidosis I have. Maybe there is a cure for diabetes and cancer and many other deadly diseases. But if people get cured, there's no "comeback".
Peace
--Free
I have always liked Little River Band's song "Cool Change" and the lyrics feel fitting just now.
♫♫ Time for a cool change
♪ I know that it's time for a cool change ♫
♪♪ And now that my life is so prearranged ♬
♬ I know that it's time for a cool change ♪
For health and economic reasons, a lot of my life is very "prearranged" and I'm mostly fine with that because I know that I am blessed to have the life that I do. There are people so much worse off and less hopeful. Still, I felt I needed to make some small changes in my personal living space. I want to have a more relaxing and mentally soothing environment.
My goals?
To change up the look of my apartment without spending any more than $150 max. I have been wanting something less dorm-room-looking.
I decided to go with a black-and-white theme with accent colors of peach, pink, and red. Too bad I'm stuck with that ugly blue chair. Ugh! I'm going to cover it with a pink knit throw! LOL
Did I make it?
DAY 10: I'm getting there. I am managing to totally update the look of my tiny living space by re-purposing a lot of items and buying just a few things. So far, I am almost just about done with the living room and about to start on the bedroom.
These are the stages of my living room which was very, um, bare minimalist.
 |
| I didn't even have curtains! |
This is what I had up for "curtains"... ~sigh~
 |
| I call the look "Boho Broke"! |
DAY 12: And this is how I re-used that fabric when I got actual curtains...
 |
| Living room, almost done and... I repurposed my old fabric "curtains" to make a swag. |
It might take me a while to finish. I have used up my energy and have been having a couple of bad days. It's not a good idea to use a stepstool when my equilibrium is not good. Also, I am having to be very careful of the budget. I am using the Camel app to get price-change alerts on the few items I need. One of my credit cards lets me do no-interest payments for purchases over a certain amount so I am getting a little coffee table and another set of blackout curtains for the bedroom
Oh! And speaking of blackout curtains... The ones I got for the living room are one of the best buys ever. Not only do they keep down the temp in the living room but they somehow muffle a lot of the noise from the communal patio right outside my windows. I rarely do recommendations but I have been telling my family about how much I love the Lemomo brand. My Arizona folks better run and not walk to get some! The 100% blackout thermal ones (a set of 2 panels) were $24 plus tax when I snagged them. I should have got them a couple inches longer but I am okay with them being a bit high water.
I hope to be feeling better soon so that I can finish. Once I have the desk (a lift-top design), I plan to spend more time in the living room. The temp will be cooler because of the curtains and I already am finding the more refined look to be soothing.
Where is the budget going?
 |
| The new look vs... |
 |
| ~sigh~ |
 |
| That plant... it has "mothered" about 6 others since I got it! |
Thanks to my parents (especially Dad), I have "good skin" genes. I'm glad but it's nothing to be proud of. It's not like I earned this skin...
The Good Skin Years:
For many, many years, I took my "good skin" for granted. As a young person, I never struggled with acne. I never had to worry about dry skin or oily skin. I grew up in Alaska, Land of the Midnight (or almost-never-ending) Sun. Never wore a drop of sunscreen for maybe 10 of the 40 years I lived there.
When I did start thinking about skincare, I used sunscreen, avoided soaps, used a lot of oils, and still took my skin for granted. Then I turned 56. Oh boy.
The Warning Signs:
The first very fine lines started across my forehead. I always had smile lines because I smile a lot and because of my wide mouth. But the smile lines became more prominent. And I started to get these little dark spots on my face - just like the ones my father had.
Those dark spots freaked me out. I had noticed (but not paid much attention to) the ones Daddy had on his face. I think he was also in his 50s when I first noticed his spots. Now that I was developing them, I wondered if I should be worried. I found out that the spots are called Seborrheic keratosis and they tend to run in families. Like "good skin", I guess. Gee, thanks again, Dad! LOL
So, at around 55-56, I started to think more about skincare. I noticed every little thing about the skin on my face and my body. The dark spots - which are only on my face - are the one thing I can't afford to do anything about and I'm not that bothered by them anyway. And I'd like to think that I'm not particularly vain so I don't mind the fine lines and wrinkles. I think of them as "proof-of-life lines". But I don't want to deal with preventable issues - cancer or severe non-cancerous skin problems.
Anyway...
This is 61 with a freshly washed face and freshly washed and twisted hair. No makeup. But don't zoom too far in.
The New Attitude:
I started taking my skincare more seriously about 5 or 6 years ago. As in, not just routinely and mindlessly slapping on oils and moisturizers to keep away the dryness. I stopped buying just any old sunscreen. Basically, I stopped being slapdash with my skincare.
At 60, I actually started developing a skincare routine. I began to think more about products. Morning and night, I clean my face with oils and (non-soap) cleansers; I use good quality (broad-spectrum) sunscreens; and I use a toner, base moisturizer, and a sealing moisturizer. For my all-over body care, I still use the moisturizing washes I've always liked but I've started being more diligent about applying after-shower oil and I've started buying better moisturizers. I pay more attention to ingredients than hype and I will actually (though grudgingly) pay more for better quality products. If I have to.
All this really started making a difference - within a few weeks. My skin is now less dull and always feels super-hydrated -without my having to reapply moisturizers and lotions several times a day. I have far fewer blackhead problems. By the way, that situation was getting out of control! For a while there, I was having to tweeze away blackheads like it was a paying job.
Another benefit to getting a routine down is that I spend less money. (Well, I'm getting there.) I did have to go through a few products to find which ones worked better for my skin type. Thankfully, I have found that some really good products are quite budget-friendly.
The two products I'm willing to spend a few bucks more for (if needed) are sunscreen and a night moisturizer. Instead of buying every new product that comes out, I am down to a few good items that work well. Spending more on 4 products every 3 months is much cheaper than spending a few bucks on several things every 3 weeks. (Pro Tip: curb your product junkie cravings! If you just have to, have to, have to try something new, write the brand to ask for a sample.)
I am sure that quitting smoking (4+ years now) helped. The funny thing is, this routine is less time-consuming than what I was doing before. In the past, I would use oil and baby wipes to clean my face, then use another oil to moisturize. Then, all through the day, I was reapplying oil to my face and more lotion to my skin. That was because of not layering and locking in hydration. Also, some products just aren't that good or long-lasting. Also, I was sometimes just skipping the moisturizing altogether.
New Routine:
Nowadays, first thing in the morning, since I'm in the bathroom doing morning stuff anyway, I cleanse my face and then, while I'm having coffee and watching the news, I do my sunscreen and moisturizers. That takes maybe 5 minutes. My body care takes only 10 minutes after showering. What a difference 15 or 20 minutes of consistent skincare makes. And consistency seems to be the key.
Goals?:
Just as with anything, it's not about how you look so much as about how you feel. I will be very happy to live long enough to develop more wrinkles, trust me. I'd like for those wrinkles to be hydrated and lovely but I want them!
I don't want to have "young-looking" skin, but I want healthy skin. As a matter of fact, as pithy as it sounds, I don't think we should worry about looking attractive. We should worry about being attractive. I want to always be gracious and kind and uplifting. (I said I want to be, not that I always am!)
When I die, I want people to miss how I made them feel. I want to be remembered for things that really mean something.
Get It From Mama:
My mother had beautiful skin and absolutely glorious hair. When she got sick, her skin and hair were severely damaged by medications. She never stopped smiling and feeling blessed to be alive. When people talk about my mom now, they talk about how she was a "mom" to everyone. I have former co-workers who probably remember more about my mother than they do about me. Everyone we knew called my mother "Mom", "Mama C" or "Grammy". There were friends of the grandkids who only knew her as "Grammy". For real. Some of them did not know her actual name until they saw her obituary...
Mama has been gone for 22 years now and almost everyone who knew her still misses her. They miss knowing that they could always talk to her about anything. They miss knowing that no matter when they came into her home, they were going to be fed, loved, taught something, hugged, encouraged, and prayed for.
During Mama's funeral, a group of 6 or 7 people filed in several minutes into the service. They only stayed for about 10 minutes, then they all filed quietly back out. This happened again during the reading of the obituary. Later, checking the memorial book, we realized that it was some nurses and staff from the dialysis clinic. They had been given longer breaks in small groups to come and pay their respects. Her one-time doctor who had retired and moved out of state some years before sent a beautiful floral arrangement. For the longest time, we would receive condolences in the mail from young people who were late hearing about her passing because they had moved away for college, marriage, or gone into the military. My mother was that kind of beautiful.
To Be Well- Remembered:
I keep in sporadic touch with friends back in Alaska. Catching up online a couple of months or so ago with "Missy" (a woman I worked with back when dinosaurs roamed and I was in my late 20s), she sent through a recent photo of her son "Lee". He was just a kid it seemed the last time I saw him. Over the years, I've seen photos of him graduating from school, starting his first "real" job, getting engaged, etc. He's now got 2 kids of his own. Missy (who'd been a young and single mom and just turning 20) reminded me that it was my mother who taught her how to soothe Lee when he was non-stop fussy.
At the time, Missy was over for one of our barbeques or something but she was so frustrated because she couldn't figure out what was wrong with her baby. I barely noticed because there were (as usual) so many kids making noise out in the backyard. Missy and I can now laugh so hard about how Mama had come inside, put down the tray of chicken (or whatever) she'd taken off the grill, shook her head, and took the baby from Missy. She laid Lee on the couch and started cooing to him while she gently rocked his knees up toward his chin a couple of times. All of a sudden, that kid pooted out a long and loud trumpet note. He went from fussy to laughing just like that. ("Sweet baby just had a little gas, didn't you.")
What I didn't know until this recent conversation is that my mom had apparently once talked Missy through a really bad bout of postpartum blues. So my friends were calling my mom on the phone back then? Wow.
So, yeah, I love having good skin, I'm a little vain about my hair, and I miss the crap out of my size 4 (5, 6, 8, and 10) figure! But who cares what I will look like when I'm dead? I want people to remember the stuff that matters.
Age thankfully. Be grateful. Love.
Peace
--Free
.png "English"){kind=small}
