Don't think that I am trying to say that life is easy or that every problem is manageable. I'm not talking about the horribly and hugely awful things that can happen. Trust me. I have had some horrible and hugely awful things happen in my life and dealing with them has not been easy. There are times when I really relate to Mahalia and I do wonder how I got over it all.
What I'm talking about are the small hills that I can make into mountains. When it comes to that, I am practically a structural engineer.
Yesterday, I was mad because I was craving pizza. A while back, I would have just called up Azzolina's or Casey's - even a take-and-bake from Aldi's was making me drool.
But.
I can't just indulge my pizza (or burger or taco or Chinese or fill-in-the-fast-food blank) cravings like I used to. Because of my sarcoidosis and my age and my complaining kidneys, I have to watch the phosphates, potassium, sodium, oxalates, and blah-blah-blah... It's a wonder I am allowed to eat anything!
If you have never seen John Pinette go off about having to give up gluten, do your funny bone a favor and go check that out. John felt about giving up gluten the way I feel about giving up what I call pho-pot-so-xalates.
Unlike the late and wonderful Mr. Pinette, I can have gluten. As long as it's not in whole wheat form. I now make entire meals from toasted French bread with olive oil, garlic, and a little parmesan cheese. That's actually all I had for lunch yesterday and it was so glorious I had no need to eat dinner. If John could see me, he'd be so jealous because not one gram of my bread is low-carb, praise the Lord.
Now, this is how first-world selfish I am at times. Scrounging my fridge and pantry, I was in mid-gripe about not being able to just have a few slices of pizza when I realized how blessed my life is. My pantry was so full that I was having to move things around just to see what all was in it. And my fridge? That thing is so loaded that I can't clean it because I don't want to unpack all the goodies in there.
I had to stop and chastise myself. Then I went back into the pantry and found some of those little mini pizza crusts from the Mama Cozzi line. I had some of the meal-prepped pre-measured packs of ground beef and cheese and seasonings all ready to go.
It took maybe 18 minutes to brown the meat and throw together a little pizza to bake up in the Foodi.
Stop.
Think about the last couple of sentences and ask just how selfish and ungrateful I can be. Let's see:
I have enough food to prep meals a week at a time;
I have ground beef - 85% lean, no less! - when meat prices are crazy;
I found some pizza crusts in that overly-stocked pantry;
I have cheese and oil and...
... a freaking appliance that does all kinds of amazing things.
Let's get even more basic and note that I have a roof over my head, a kitchen with water and electricity, and...
What was I griping about? I forgot because I was too busy counting all those blessings.
Anyway.
I ended up with a tasty little pizza that satisfied my cravings without throwing my nutrition scores out of whack.
I even had some olives for this treat
So I guess what I'm saying is that life can be as ~ fill in the blank ~ as I make it. I can be sad about what I don't have or rejoice in what I do have. I can give more of my time and attention to negative feelings or I can think about how I've gotten over so much already.
Losing loved ones didn't take keep me down. Losing my health - and my glorious figure 🤣- didn't take keep me down. Losing a husband didn't take keep me down. Losing my best friend didn't take keep me down. All these hurtful things knocked me down but just for a moment.
Tomorrow is another day but it's not mine to claim. I can only live as if I have this moment because, well, that is all I do have. I choose at this moment to be thankful. And, now I am going to go make up another delicious bread plate.
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