Benefits of Belief

 I usually put my Christian-themed posts on my Free & Faith blog, but I wanted to share this one here.

Recently, I published this on Free & Faith. It's basically about how people will believe in all sorts of silly and unfounded things while rejecting God. The better part of me prays for those people who reject God but... 

There is a part of my personality that is still under construction. As some people joke: God is still working on me. When I get annoyed or angry or have to deal with the supreme hatred of people, all I can think is that they better be glad that I believe in God. They better be glad that I'm not who I used to be.

Years ago, I was not a nice person. I mean, I was nice but I could go from nice to not-nice in the space of a heartbeat. I had a terrible temper and (I'm so ashamed to admit this now) I had a habit of slapping people. 

The fact that someone didn't beat my little then-narrow behind into a new reality is proof that God has always been watching over me. I was all of not quite a hundred pounds and thought that the universe revolved around my emotions. I ticked a lot of the boxes listed in Proverbs 6:16-19:

I quit counting after I hit on 4. Oh boy.

Not only was I a sometimes-awful person but I was also occasionally naive. As mean as I could be I did have a soft side and was incredibly trusting. I don't want to think back on how many times I could have been abducted or raped or even killed because of the situations I put myself in. I was (still am) a lightweight drinker and would be falling-down drunk after a couple of moderately strong drinks. I remember times that (and yes, I am VERY ashamed to admit this) rode with drunk drivers or fell asleep passed out in the back of a car parked in front of our house. 

A few years ago, I saw this image and laughed so hard I got hoarse.

But, all kidding done with, I know that God was looking over me. I have struggled with depression all my life and there were times when I really thought about ways to end my life. I was just too chicken to die. Now that I am saved, I am not afraid to die but I always say "it's not being dead that scares me but getting dead". Before I came to Christ, I was too stupid to be afraid of being dead.

So, there are benefits to belief. There is a poem by a woman named Carol Wimmer. I know nothing about her or her definitive beliefs but I feel like her words capture perfectly what so many Christians want to convey. I thank her for the beautiful poem. I will leave you with her words and hope they give you insight into the Christians in your life.

Peace

--Free

**BOOKS** "Hidden Treasures: In the Biblical Text"

This is a post that I was originally only going to publish on Free and Faith. I decided that it's one of those books that could be of interest to everyone - whether Christian or not.

By the way, I am always astonished at people who will devote a lot of time studying secular subjects such as philosophy but never think to look seriously at the Bible. It might surprise even Christians to know how much of human history and secular history is corroborative. I have one acquaintance who, like myself, loves the Matrix movies. He can discuss the philosophies and mythologies of that series until the cows come home. When I once mentioned to him how the Bible runs deeper and is more complex than that work of fiction, he basically snorted at me. It was a friendly snort and done with love but, in his view, the Bible is a simple book of fables. If he only spent a little time exploring the book, it's languages, and its complexities, his mind would be truly blown. He's a very intelligent man and so curious about all things - except the Bible. And that is kind of ignorant.

I have been doing a lot of Bible study for the past couple of years. I have read the Bible many times but I have only recently been going deeper into the study of it. I have some trouble sorting and keeping information straight but I don't mind repeating lessons.

The study I started a while back is one by Chuck Missler - Learn the Bible in 24 Hours, which can be found in video format on a YouTube playlist and on Amazon Prime Video. It can also be found in audiobook form through Audible and via local library media streaming services like Overdrive and Hoopla Digital. I think the last time I mentioned it was when I was posting about my news-fatigue. I kept getting as far as Hour 9 and having to go back to the beginning. I have now ordered the book so that I can make notes as I go through the video lessons.

The Chuck Missler book I wanted to mention to everyone today is called Hidden Treasures: In the Biblical Text. And if you wonder why I study so many lessons by the same teacher, that's because I am very careful who I study under. Not every teacher is godly or has good intentions.

Anyway, this current book is one that I want to recommend to my friend the next time I see him. I have listened to his detailed thoughts on various philosophers and teachings so I want to challenge him to think about things from where I sit. Another Missler book on angels would probably be extremely interesting to students of physics. I was no genius in school but Angels Volume 1: Cosmic Warfare introduced me to quantum physics in an exciting way that I could relate to. Trust me when I tell you that while I had heard of Max Planck, I had no clue before why he won a Nobel. I am forever fascinated now! And my friend will be interested in learning that Missler shows why he believes we live in a digital universe. Wha-??? How Matrix-like is that?

I will do a post on the Angels series another time. Back to Hidden Treasures...

One of the most interesting lessons in this little book gives the reader an assignment to design a genealogy with 14 very specific criteria. Once you attempt to do this and realize how difficult (if at all possible), you are presented with how it was completed in the Person of Christ.

The first of 14 criteria

Another thing I am enjoying about this study is that I get to delve more into the Greek and Aramaic languages and history. I  have been able to study some common world history right alongside that shown in the Bible. It's fascinating stuff.

Like I said, I wanted to post this here because I wanted people who may not be Christian to know about the book. I want to challenge some of you to not just sit back and snort at the idea of a belief in Scripture but to at least know what you are scoffing at. Like any serious thing, the Bible is not something to be glossed over. In order for us Christians to confidently believe in the Gospel, we have to know it. The same goes for those people who may want to deny it. How can you deny what you don't know?

Anyway, I hope that this post encourages more people to study the Bible and the history it comes out of. It won't hurt that you will learn something about world history in the process. I was stunned by how much of the history I learned in school has to do with the history of the faith I profess.

By the way, that challenge to design a genealogy? You will get to study for yourself how all the criteria were met in the genealogy of Christ in the first 11 verses of the (Greek language) Gospel of Matthew.

Peace
--Free

And, instead of music today, I thought this was more appropriate

Faith & Storms

Since I had my meltdown the other day, I am feeling better. I did a lot of praying after I finished that crazed, angry, and ranting post. My body started to feel better several hours after my infusion. I thought about deleting that post but decided to leave it up because of this one. Maybe it will help someone else to see the pair of them so they know that even severe "storms" pass over if we just give it time.

The first thought that came into my mind once I started feeling better was a self-rebuking "How dare you?" Seriously, who am I to feel sorry for myself? There are people in the world who would give everything to be at my lowest. I am a spoiled, first-world, insufferable jerk sometimes.

While at infusion, I see people who are dealing with diseases that make mine look like a bad cold. I'm not exaggerating. There was a 20-ish-looking guy in the ward who is fighting something that requires an infusion of meds so powerful that his chair is damn near sealed off from the rest of us - and there are chemo patients there. He was with a sweet-faced child-woman who looked younger than he did. She was wearing a wedding band and that just about broke my heart. Can you even imagine their struggle? Back in Anchorage, one of my doctors was treating children.  Those babies probably have never known a normal childhood but... here's me, drowning in tears for myself instead of praying for those people. Instead of being thankful.

Now that I am thinking more clearly, I don't know where I get the nerve to sit on my pity pot for even five minutes. Yes, I have to deal with a very inconvenient illness and I do wish I could turn back the clock to a time before all this, but I can't. This is called life. Life is not scripted to have something wonderful happen every 30 minutes. Life can be sad and disappointing and a struggle. And this is where my faith comes in.

For people who don't understand why I believe in a real and definite and specific God, I have to tell you that I don't understand your disbelief - or your ambivalence. And if you aren't in the mood to think about your position on the subject, just stop reading right now because I feel another rant coming on.

What does this mean?

I can understand how someone could want to not believe in God. I can understand how someone believes but has decided to rebel against God. What I cannot understand is how someone questions that there is God.

I've had people tell me that my faith is blind and ignorant and born out of fear and tradition. They are wrong. I would have to be willfully ignorant to believe that there is no God.

Some people like to say that they don't believe in what they can't experience with the 5 senses. I always want to remind them of the miracle that we are beings with those senses. Where did it come from that we exist as intricately made as we are?

And, by the way, I do experience God with my senses. If you can't understand how awesome I find the sight and sound of the natural world, then just stop and think about it for a moment. Just the fact that we have those senses - along with the ability to taste and touch and smell - that alone is pretty miraculous.

Dr. Hugh Ross - an astronomer and astrophysicist - explained in the simplest way what is so frightening to a lot of people (especially other scientists) to consider: "If there was a beginning, there is a Beginner."

Dr. Ross is obviously an intelligent man who has studied and theorized about things that I can't even pronounce. But all I need to do is open my eyes and look around to see "that the Heavens testify to the existence of a Creator". I can't even consider the beauty and complexity of life without considering God. There are resources for anyone wondering about the argument for God from different stances.

As advanced as man has become, he cannot create from nothing. He himself is a created being. All his greatness of mind comes from the DNA that he is. All that he discovers is from what already is. Man did not create himself or speak everything else into existence. God did.

When I think of where the first breath of man came from, I think of beginnings. When I think of time and dimensions - seen and unseen - I think of God. I cannot imagine the unfathomable intricacies of all that is woven together to create everything that is without considering God. How can you?

And, of course, there is suffering and grief and pain that we put up as arguments against there being a "just and good" God. What we don't think about is we're not just told: "There is God" period. We are actually given more information. An intelligent person will consider all the information. There's a guy named Lee Strobel who started out as an atheist but used his skills as an investigative journalist to consider the information. His goal was to disprove the existence of God. He came to believe. C.S. Lewis was reared as a Christian (that traditional thing), became an atheist, and came to believe - this time not blindly.

So, I don't need to have as much faith to believe in God as someone does to disbelieve. My faith is to help me understand and/or trust in God through my human condition. As I suffer depression and physical illness, I have to trust that God has not forsaken me.

Belief is easy; faith is hard but they go hand in hand.

Here is a quote (from an unlikely source for a Christian) that I thought about as I was writing this post:

“If you are depressed you are living in the past. 

If you are anxious you are living in the future. 

If you are at peace you are living in the present.” (Lao Tzu)

The Bible puts it this way:

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. (Matthew 6:34)

Faith is about living in the present because you know what the endgame is about.

Peace
--Free

The Opposite of Love?

For some reason, my sister has been on my mind more than usual these past few days. Ordinarily, I think of her most often on the anniversaries of her birth and passing. Sometimes, I get in a mood and will start looking at old photos, then memories of her flood my heart. But these past three or four days, she has been popping up in my mind. Her smile, her laugh, or the way she would suck her teeth right before she was going to say something funny.

While thinking of my sister, I always remember how loving she was. Along with my mother, she was the comfort of the family. Her children, her nieces and her nephews, her friends' kids - they all experienced the healing power of my sister's hugs. She gave the best hugs.

Something dawned on me while my sister was on my mind this week. It was about the meaning of family love and friendship love. I realized that there is no power in the word 'love' - people have tossed that word around so much that it's beginning to lose impact. The power of the word is in the person offering it up. Scripture tells us that "Death and life are in the power of the tongue". I knew that passage but I have only just now been thinking deeply about it.

When my sister gave you love, she did it with compassion and a pure heart. She patiently listened to your problems or waited out your anger or just soothed you through your fears. And she never seemed to want anything in return. She did get love reciprocated but that was never her goal. What I realized too late in her life was that sometimes we were all too busy depending on her to let her lean on us. I hope she did know how much we all loved her back. She taught us all so much about standing strong. She taught us all so much about everything. Because of her, I have finally realized something important about life and love. So she is still teaching me! It's as though I got to have a little Bible study with her again.

What I have come to fully understand is that love means nothing without truth and sacrifice. The opposite of love is pride. Love - true and real love - is giving, honest, open and willing. Love shines outward and pride radiates inward.

Peace
--Free

Back to Church

I can't remember (and don't have the patience to check) whether or not I have ever posted here about why I left the Pentecostal church. Basically, it was all about that church being a legalistic man-based religion instead of being Bible-based and God-led. The church I grew up in worried more about a person's outer appearance than they did the inner heart. And they really loved to pick and choose which parts of Jesus' teachings to follow.

Anyway.

One thing I did always love about the church services of my youth was the music. There is no Broadway production that can beat a Sunday service at the right church. When the preacher finishes performing, then comes the choir with its musicians.

I have always had a hard time explaining to people what the music was like in the church I grew up in. Then I found this video. It took me back 45 years and sat me down in a pew in Big Spring, Texas just like I never left.

This is why some church services lasted well into the night. Just when you thought you were going to be dismissed and get to go home, someone on the keyboard or drums would get inspired to hit one more note and then someone else would start to get "happy" and we'd be back into another round of singing and shouting. I got used to being in church and banging a tambourine until as late as ten o'clock on a school night.

Say what you want about all the stuff that's just wrong about the "Holiness" church, you can't badmouth the musical talent.

My ex and his cousins were the musicians in our church and their talent was just astounding. My ex is the best musician I know. He grew up in church and around all that great music. Too bad that growing up around all the preaching didn't rub off on his behavior as a human being.

I want to mention that not all people associated with the church were bad. There were a lot of good, well-meaning and true-hearted Christians who attended. Just like in the rest of the world though, it's easier to focus on and criticize the worst of the bunch.

Peace
--Free

All That We Are

So, I was in one of my moods the other night after taking my injection. Since the most I can do on those days in lay down and try not to be nauseous and achy (think of the mild flu), I tend to do a lot of thinking. For some reason on this day, I went way deeper than I usually do when I don't feel well.

What I started out thinking was that we as humans don't often realize just how much more we are than flesh and blood. (And I have no idea how that sentence sounds because I'm foggy today so bear with me.) We tend to our flesh - with food and drink and sex and drugs and all the emotions we can muster up - but do we pay enough attention to the rest of what we are?

By the way, when I was looking for an image to post here, this perfectly suitable one popped up on Pinterest:

I personally think of my body as being only maybe ten percent of who and what I am. The body is what you see, but my mind and soul and thoughts and inner mystery is the most significant part. The body is just a vessel - convenient but overrated. The body is really the part of us that causes our sorrows - or most of them. It's the keeper of our health and our sins and our weapon of negative actions.

A quote that I always loved - though I misunderstood and wrongly attributed to C.S. Lewis - goes something like this:

You don't have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body.

While I get that the theology of the statement is a little crooked, I still like the core of what it means to me. I realize that I am a body imbued with a soul and, thankfully also the Spirit indwelling. What the quotation means to my train of thought though is that we don't think as much as we should about our souls. Our neglect of the soul is the root of so many troubles.

I think that when people say that they can "sense" something good or bad about a person, what they are feeling is the character of that person's soul. Often, when I meet someone, I will feel something really positive or really negative vibing between us. They can be a completely decent person who I just get a bad feeling about or a seemingly horrible person who I feel safe with. I've been wrong at times of course, but a lot of the time, I'm proved right. Also, I can meet someone and just know that I want them in my life. That's how I met my best friend.

The world - or rather, society and its norms - have trained us to be more aware of and to react more to people based on having (or lacking) so-called good looks, success, charisma, or the 'It' factor. I believe this is how we made bad choices in friends, relationships, and safety. There are murderers who have charm and looks. There are great-looking people who will ruin your life if they get a chance. Some psycho- and/or sociopathic people thrive because of the shallow nature of the rest of us.

People who look deeper and feel deeper and think deeper are so often thought of as 'strange' or odd. I had a hard time when I was younger because I just didn't care as much about the same things as most of my peers did. I was never the person who felt comfortable at parties or other common social situations. I would find myself trying to have a good time but getting distracted or lost in my thoughts about what was going on around me. Thank God I had wonderful parents. They let me know that it was okay not to fit in everywhere. They would tell me not to worry about have a lot of friends and just to try having good friends. Plus, I come from a large extended family so I had cousins and such. Being a military kid was a blessing and a curse since I was never going to be around the same crowd of kids for long.

Once again, because of brain fog, I've kind of forgotten where the hell I was traveling on this train of thought! Mainly though, I just wanted to talk about how we don't get to know other people - or even ourselves - as well as we should because we never look deep enough.

I will give up trying to pull my thoughts back together and just update this post if I can on another day. Of course, I'm pretty sure my brain will wake up all ready to cooperate just when I get good and sleep tonight...

Peace
--Free

Dark Things & Blind Hearts

I think I posted something about the Illuminati once in recent memory. It's not something I run around talking about a whole lot. When I saw this video the other day, though, I had to come and post it here.

Now, a lot of what you hear online is overblown conjecture. A lot of what you can hear and read online isn't usually backed up with anything other than someone's theories. This video caught my interest because, even though I obviously have some different religious belief's than the producers, I couldn't really dispute anything they were saying. That's all because they were careful to back up what they had to say. Often when they pointed out someone as being involved in this mess, they let that person show that - either through some interview, their lyrics, or photos and videos. (I thought of some people that they didn't even mention because I thought back to things I had noticed without knowing what I was looking at.)

Here's the thing: everyone can have one of two opinions about this. Some people will believe this happens and some people will write it off as nonsense. Because I believe in God and the Bible, I believe that there are people and forces at work in opposition to God and the Bible. So there.

None of this matters to anyone who has made up their minds in whichever direction they choose. It matters to people who haven't made a choice - or didn't even realize there was a choice to be made. Ignorance is not really bliss when it can hurt you.

Finally, I know that a lot of people who do believe that such dark things exist often want to hate those caught up in the darkness. I think that those people need our prayers. I think that one who is living with hope of an eternal existence in the light should not wish for anyone to be left out.

Today, we all get so distracted by our earthly problems that we forget to worry about our eternal souls. That's such a human mistake to make, and we all need to pray for each other to avoid it.

That's all I'm going to say on the subject for now.

Peace
--Free

Something To Think About Before Death

I am a Christian. (Yeah, believe it or not.) You have to understand that I am a Christian - saved by Jesus - not because I talk a certain way or do certain things. I am saved because I believe on the blood of Christ. There are things I do not do because I am a Christian and I feel that those things are wrong. (Other Christians won't do think I will do because of their own relationship with Jesus & their own personal convictions.)

Now, I said all that to say this: I don't often use this blog to talk about Christ. I do that in my personal life and face to face as I am moved. But - I do want to point you guys to a series of videos I am watching. I have not finished & have no final opinion, but would love to know what any of you think about it. I was made aware of the vids by a G+ pal.

It must be a Google Plus thing that people will so openly discuss and debate almost anything with such an attitude of civility. A couple weeks ago, another G+ buddy sent me a Kindle edition of a book called "Imaginary Jesus." He has asked me to read it & let him know what I think. (He disclosed to me that it's the book that almost made a Christian of him. He knows I'm praying to get rid of the "almost.")

Anyway, this is just something I wanted to share with you. I believe that everyone has the right to believe what they want to believe and to live and die with the decision. I always hope, though, that everyone will believe what I do (how human of me!). When I think of those who came to Christ kicking & fighting, I think of myself, C.S. Lewis, and a friend of mine who accepted Christ just before dying.

So, this is not to beat anyone over the head. It's just something I wanted to share. Be sure to hit me up on email or G+ to let me know what you think. (I have Part II on Pause as I type this!)

Ian McCormack Testimony

Peace
--Free

Crisis of Faith

Since I got sick, I have suffered such a crisis of faith. The feeling of being abandoned by God. The feeling of spiritual emptiness. Oddly enough, I know that some of it was caused by the medicine I had to take, and since being on a lower dosage has helped, I have proof of the side effects.

At any rate, I was really struggling to cling to my faith the past several weeks. This morning I had the energy to search the internet for examples of others going through the same thing. If you google "crisis of faith," and scan the articles and blogs, you would be amazed at what you find. Apparently, even Mother Theresa struggled (for FIFTY years!) with this. Personally, not being Catholic, I can't relate to what Mother Theresa felt, but being Christian, with my whole belief being in salvation through the blood of Jesus alone, I can relate to a sermon I found.

I can truly say that this sermon blessed me this morning:  Lenten Series - The Seven Last Words My God, My God, Why Have You Forsaken Me?  I feel it was just the thing I needed. Bless the author! Even if you are not having a crisis of faith, I suggest you go over and check it out because it's such a reminder of what faith is.

The first thing that struck me is that I am not alone. I'm not the only Christian to be tested. Christ himself was tested! Somehow, I had forgotten all about how the Lord cried out from the cross about being forsaken. Being fully human, Jesus was able to feel what we feel and, at that time, he felt given up on. So who am I to feel different?

The second thing that struck me is that all this time, I have been focused on the darkness of my situation - or the Good Friday - when I was ignoring the hope and glory of the light - or Easter. (The author's words are so powerful: "Those were not his last words from the cross." Amen! Jesus' last words were that it was finished.

So, here and now, I may have to go through this human pain and suffering (and it won't be easy; in fact, it may get worse), but one day, when I leave this world, I get to go Home and be with Jesus. Maybe even while I am still here, I will be happy again, but I'm not supposed to be living for this "life." It is for my life in Heaven that I am waiting for.

While I was feeling sorry for myself, I had forgotten about all the other suffering people who have it as bad or worse than me. Think of the little starving babies you see who live in famine, people born into a living hell of war or disease; people who have never eaten like I have or lived in decent shelter. I had not thought of the absolute luxuries I once enjoyed while so many millions of people suffered every day of their lives.

So, this day, I am thankful for this crisis. This struggle I am going through is going to keep me praying and holding on with both hands to my faith and hope for what eternity has in store for me.


Peace
--Free