Bake Away The Blues (Bread & Water Roux)

 When I get stressed, baking helps calm me. Stress seems to send signals to my sarc to join the party so my brain might not be functioning well enough to do anything complicated. But I can almost always bake.

October was not good for my life. As if 2020 doesn't suck hard enough, it doesn't want to go out without dragging down as much joy as it can... Can I get an amen?

Anyway.

I spent about 3 days on the couch, not able to move or care. I watched YouTube videos hour after hour after hour. When I started getting sore from laying there, I decided to get up and maybe bake something - bread or rolls from scratch. Then, at some point, I got it into my head that I wanted to find a video on how to make brioche. 

Most videos on making brioche are either too talky. All I wanted was a recipe. I found one and... What a mess. I basically wasted a lot of flour, butter, eggs, and sugar. I should have looked at the comments before trying the recipe because there were a lot of people wondering just what the heck the baker was doing.

Also, I don't have a stand mixer. That seemed to be a must-have for kneading brioche dough. I was discouraged until I found the more awesome YouTube channel ever for baking recipes. The. Most. Awesome. Ever. 

The host/baker/cook in the Savor Easy videos ticks all the boxes for making great instructional videos. The entire focus is on the ingredients and procedure. Tomorrow, I will be trying a new batch of brioche.

Isn't that the best baking video? No frill, no life stories told, just right-to-the-point instructions. I need to learn from her! I'm hoping she has a recipe for babka. I've been wanting to bake one of those since forever.

I don't have the energy to start baking yet. I'm still mostly confined to the couch because, on top of everything else (cue the violins), I have a cold I can't shake. 

But -

Until I can get on my feet long enough to bake, I have been enjoying the Culinary Boot Camp videos from Chef Jacob Burton's channel. 

Like I said, baking/cooking is a stress reliever. I go through cycles of liking either baking or cooking, one more than the other. Winter seems to bring out my inner baker chick.  I don't like complicated baking challenges. You won't ever see me doing anything that involves preparing more than one dough or pastry for a finished product. I will never, ever qualify for The Great British Bakeoff. I like simple things that I can share with family or neighbors.

how satisfying is that?

There is nothing more simple in the baking world than bread, right? Well, I was always kind of terrified of making bread. A couple of years ago, I found a recipe from the Big Family Homestead channel and I made their recipe for Amish Sweet Bread. It was fun and easy and made the apartment smell fabulous. This is the recipe and it's actually called just "Amish White Bread". My bad. They actually have a good playlist of recipes very worth checking out.

I have talked about making Japanese Milk Bread for the longest. I just never felt comfortable with the recipes I found. Welp, Savor Easy has me covered. Theirs doesn't look the exact same as other recipes I've watched, but I think it will be good enough for me. I learned a while back that the secret to softer bread is to add a water roux. Say what??? 

The Water Roux Method

aka 

Tangzhong

Apparently this "water roux" is a bread starter known as Tangzhong and is what makes Hokkaido Milk Bread so yummy soft.

look how soft & fluffy...

The roux is a simple bread flour and water mix that is cooked to thickening. The tricky part is knowing ratios and when to add it. Here is a video I found that best explains the procedure and answers basic questions:

Her instructions are great but I still had questions, like what about how much to add to various recipe amounts? Thankfully, commenters had answers. This one is the most helpful of all:

"The Tangzhong roux should use 5% of the original recipe flour amount, by weight. The amount of water used should be 5 times the weight of the flour used in the Tanzhong roux. The water amount used in the Tanzhong roux should be taken from the original amount of water in the recipe. You are not adding an extra amount of water or flour to the recipe, just using some of the original ingredient amounts in a different way."

The same commenter also had this to say:

"I make the roux in a microwave. Use a pyrex cup. My microwave is 1100 watts. With room temperature water, 25 gm flour and 125 gm water I microwave for 20 seconds. Stir will with whisk. Take temp. Microwave 10 more seconds. Stir, take temp. Microwave a final 5 seconds. Stir and take temp. The roux is at about 65 C / 150 F. This is enough for a 450 gm / 1 lb loaf of bread. Cool to below 55 C / 130 F and add to bread maker."

Note: you can find conversions by asking Google or here is one site with charts.  Here is a graphic. Also, here is a calculator site, if you don't mind accepting the cookies. Ironically.

The only answer I couldn't find anywhere is to the question of when to add the roux. I have decided that, since the roux can be stored for later use, I can add it to a dough before I prep it for the first proofing. I dunno. I will try it that way. As soon as I get back into the swing of things, I will be getting my Tang-zhong. Get it?

If any of you have used or plan to use the Tangzhong method, let me know how your bread turns out.

Peace

--Free

**REVIEW** Magnesium Oil from Dead Sea (from Livana)

After seeing my doctor this last time, I've added a couple of things to my natural health care arsenal. Magnesium oil spray is what I'm reviewing today. I will review the trace minerals tomorrow.

This is not the first time I've tried a magnesium oil spray. I tried a couple in 2016 and reviewed one of those oils. That one was part of a review and I used it until it ran out just before moving here to Iowa. I hadn't had a chance to try it again because it was no longer available. Back then, I was combining the oil use with changes in my eating habits so I saw good effects.

These days, my fatigue is worse and I have been having those "tired but wired" insomnia problems again. My doctor suggested melatonin tablets, but I remembered the magnesium oil. While looking through the choices, I saw that this one had good reviews and was priced so I could afford it. I consider it a part of my healthcare expenses. Also, I was attracted by the fact that the source is the Dead Sea.

their photo was better than the one I took!

 What I noticed when looking through all the magnesium oil choices is that there are 2 sources for magnesium chloride that are most popular: the Dead Sea or the Zechstein Seabed. This is because they are both "ancient seabeds" and I guess that's kind of a big deal when it comes to the minerals and nutrients. Makes sense to me and, of course, I want to try an oil sourced from Zechstein (and it was actually priced better but for a larger size). For now, I am happy with this $8 bottle that I could get right away.

The one thing that annoyed me was that, when I opened my package, the bottle was damp and had leaked out some of this precious oil. For now, though, let me give you the highlights of my experience with this product. And, trust me, when I say that there are differences between brands. The other oils I tried were good but this one is powerful good (as my Big Mama might have said).

leakage

It NOT an "oil"

Yeah. Magnesium oil is more like water. There is zero oiliness to the stuff. Because my bottle leaked, this is what the spillage looked like on my hand:

Look like I been eating powdered donuts!

This is why when I used it at bedtime, I followed it up with some coconut oil. 

You need to be careful when applying this product because if not, most of it will roll right off. Think of spraying water onto the skin, right? I like to spray my throat then quickly rub it in before it has a chance to drip.

Ingredients in this one

The other oils I tried had magnesium chloride and water. This one has Magnesium Chloride, Purified Water, and Dead Sea Salt. I'm sure it's the salt that left the ashy residue on my hand. I am curious about the salt being useful for my psoriasis (and other skin ailments). I might have to ask the doctors about that and try it. If you think you want to try some Dead Sea salt products, you can check out many brands. I found this one site that looks interesting (and affordable). This brand is also Amazon-available.

It put me right into Sleep Mode

Once again, not all oils are created equal. The other oils I've used did help me sleep a lot better. A lot. I would spray my armpits (I will tell you why in a moment), my hair, my stomach. I would go spray crazy! When I used this before bedtime last night, I was thinking of those other oils and (thinking that I was holding back to make this last until I can get a bigger bottle) I spritzed my throat just twice. Within about 5 minutes, I was getting droopy eyed. 10 minutes and I was done. 

I don't know what would have happened if I had sprayed on any more of this oil. Probably I'd still be asleep right now. I've rarely taken anything but OTC sleeping pills but I did have an Ambien or something when I was hospitalized and I hated the drunk way it made me feel. I only slept well for a few hours before I was restless again, and I remember feeling very hungover the next day.

Here's the thing with this oil: I did not feel groggy at all this morning. Not a bit. Matter of fact, I felt better upon waking than I have for a while. I guess that's what getting a good night's rest does for a body. I slept deep until I'd say around 1:30/2:00 when I had to get up to do a bathroom and water run. Usually, I have trouble getting back to sleep if I get up like that. Not last night.

I can't wait to let my doctor know how great this worked for my sleep.

Daytime use is tricky

I think I mentioned in the previous reviews that magnesium oil is supposed to help relieve anxiety. This particular brand oil is too strong for me to test it undiluted during the daytime. When I got that residue on my hands opening the package, I washed my hands because of the ashy look. Good thing.

For daytime use (stress, anxiety, you know - me being me), I figured I'd better be on the safe side and cut this oil with... some oil. 

Had to slap a label on this one

This bottle is labeled as 1/3 ounce. I spritzed in a couple sprays of magnesium and filled the rest of the bottle with jojoba oil. I think any kind of oil will do; I just happened to have jojoba on hand. I've rolled on some a few times today and it's been okay but I think I need to add more magnesium to the mix.

Now I don't know if my body will get used to this and the effects will start to lessen. I will have to let you know about that.

This is a natural deodorant

If you type in "magnesium oil deodorant", you'll get slammed with sites offering up DIY recipes, benefits, and folks' stories about how it changed their lives. When I used the other brands before this one, I just sprayed the stuff right on my pits. It did work, but I don't think I can use this one the same way. Like I said, I'd probably go right into a cold doze before I could do anything to work up a sweat. That said, I do plan to try dabbing a little under my arms. I can't use it at my regular nighttime application because I don't want to put oil under my arms. 

Like I said, I can't wait to tell my doctor about this stuff. She digs natural products so maybe some of her other patients would be interested in using this over melatonin for sleep.

I'll update this post if I need to. For now, I'm happy.

Peace

--Free

**REVIEW** New Essential Oil for Anxiety and Stress Relief

**Disclosure: I received the product discussed here in exchange for my fair and honest review via a Tomoson promotion.**

Let me start by saying that I almost passed on this review. As you know, I love essential oils, but I usually only try ones that are for something beauty-specific. This one, as you can see, is labelled as being for the relief of stress and  anxiety.



                                                 

Now, I do have stress and I do have anxiety, but if this stunk, I'd keep all that and just take a Valium. LOL! Seriously, I do like the smell of this, but I will get back to that after I tell you about my little saga with the packaging.

UPS can be rough with a package. Apparently, someone dropped mine a couple of times, then fumbled and recovered before they kicked it home. I actually was pulling up to the house and had to wait to get in our driveway because the UPS van was blocking me. I saw him leave the box on our porch and, when he went back to the van and saw that I was waiting, he couldn't drive away fast enough. I figured out why...

The brown paper stuffing was coming out of the hole when I picked up the box. Luckily, everything inside was okay. Mostly. Another product was in a gallon jug and the plastic was beat up. The oil (which is in a glass bottle) was wrapped in a couple layers of plastic bubble so it was okay, thankfully!

Anyway, once I got over that and unwrapped the oil, I was really surprised at how beautiful the product was presented. It's Tranquility Essential Oils for Anxiety & Stress Relief from Phytopia.

It was actually even prettier, but I had to re-tie the silver lace string for the photo. (I wanted to make sure the glass inside had not been damaged by UPS). So I want to thank the Seller for not only securing the product so well, but also for the decorative way the sent the oil.

Now, on to the product itself - which is a 100% pure, natural, therapeutic grade oil blend

Like I said, I almost passed on this promotion because I was worried that a stress-relieving, anxiety-calming oil would be less than pleasantly fragrant. No worries there. The blend includes 2 of my favorites: vanilla and orange. Rose is, of course, also a very nice (soft) scent, but I had never smelled geranium oil before. Those 4 oils blend together very well. Very. So, yes, I really like the scent. I like it so much that I decided right off that, even if there were no other benefits, I would use this oil as a personal fragrance. I've done that with Sweet Orange and Vanilla/Grapefruit oils.

I'm not one that gets into a lot of new-age-y stuff, but I really do believe that oils and other natural based products are useful for mind and body health, healing and well-being. You already know that I believe in using such products in my hair and beauty routine. I want to summarize some of the benefits of these oils (separately) now:

• Carrier oils used are Virgin Olive, Sunflower, Evening Primrose, and Jojoba. I like all of of those for their moisturizing and soothing properties. There's nothing there that I have a problem with using on my hair or skin.
• Vanilla E.O. is, first of all, just a nice scent that almost anyone can like (if it's authentic and not too strong). I'm probably biased because a good vanilla is one of my fave scents. I find it very sexy as a fragrance on both males and femails. A lot of people might not have heard that Vanilla is good for promoting hair growth. I recently heard that it's also good for adding shine to hair. As a "natural", I'm mostly interested in the growth and retention benefits.
• Orange E.O. is also another of my favorites. (Maybe there is a food connection there???) When using in hair mixtures, be careful because Orange (and other oils, such as Lemon, etc) will make your hair more sensitive to sun and UV exposure. If you don't want to lighten your hair, avoid it, but if you want to soothe itchy and dry scalp, orange is thought to be good.
• Geranium E.O. This oil has often been noted as being good for hair growth, but I've mostly heard of it being used in steam facials. I've never tried Geranium before, but now I'm reading up on its aromatic effects on tension and stress. (Since this oil blend is definitely soothing, I can believe this about Geranium oil.) On its own, Geranium is one of the "balancing" oils that are good for dry and oily skin and hair. Huh. Good to know.
• Rose Oil is another oil I haven't used separately or with other oils. I have used Rose water and really like it - the smell and the soothing properties on my skin. I looked up some information and notice that Rose Oil can be used as a substitute for Geranium Oil because they have similar benefits. I'm also learning that Rose Oil is beneficial as a healing and mood-elevating element. Nice.

I can't explain to you why this works, but I can tell you that I am enjoying the calming effects of this blend. When I first got it (during the day), I was just so pleased with the nice smell that I dabbed it on my wrist and temples. After a minute, I realized that I want to try this in my bath. It will probably help me sleep better. Lavender is good for that, but it is a much stronger scent. This blend is mild enough to use without bothering anyone who is sensitive to smells.

So far, I haven't tried using this in a massage. I did add a couple of drops to the little bottle of hand lotion I keep in my purse. I'm going to continue to dab the oil straight from the bottle onto my wrist and temples to enjoy the calming effects.

As far as the price. it's up there. It's not too 'up there' for someone who needs the help with keeping calm and peaceful (which is true of most anyone working a job these days).  I will say that it's worth it. I will be replacing mine when I can just because it does keep me nice and relaxed - especially at night. Better than a Valium, I guess.

Finally, a couple of notes:

• Shelf life: 36 months (Keep it in a dry and cool place.)
• Directions:Use it 15 minutes before taking a bath to prevent feeling greasy. Apply right amount to skin and massage gently, move toward the direction of the heart. Can be used while taking a bath by adding 3 teaspoons into the bathtub. Best in relieving stress, nervousness and restlessness. For best results, use it regularly (once or twice a day). 
• Cautions: For external use only. Consult a doctor first if you are pregnant or have physical trauma. Keep the rim clean and the bottle tightly closed to prevent oil from spoiling. 

Peace
--Free

I'm a Survivor

My latest Netflix marathon was one of watching "I Shouldn't Be Alive". It reminds me a lot of another favorite: "I Survived".

Since the show is about people who came out of situations that should have broken them, body and soul, I kept relating to each episode on a personal level. Every time someone said something like "Help was so close, yet so far away" or "It was just within my reach, but I just couldn't catch hold", I found myself thinking about my own life and trials.

I know the Master of the wind

After I watched half a season worth of shows, I wanted to be depressed. Then I thought of something: all those people, in all those precarious situations, had come out alive. They had survived, mainly because they had just refused to give up.

With everything going crazy in my life right now, I've decided that I'm going to come out a survivor. When I look back on this past few months (and maybe a future month or two) of my life, I'm going to remind myself that I survived. Anything and anyone trying to break me is going to fail.

I'm thinking now of a Bible verse. I'm going to write it on a piece of paper to keep on my person. On the days when I feel myself getting tired, I'm going to pull out that paper and read it.

No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their righteousness is of me, saith the LORD. (Isaiah 54:17)

Peace
--Free

Stress Can Make You Crazy

My mother used to warn me about getting "stressed out". Stress, she'd say, will either kill you or make you crazy. I don't know if my stress will kill me, but it sure is making me crazy.

When I get stressed, I do goofy things.

A few days ago, I was on my way to have coffee with a close friend I hadn't seen for a while. We have a favorite meeting spot called The House of Bread. (If you live near one, go there. It's great - unless you're on a diet. You can gain weight just from inhaling the delicious smells.) It's a straight shot from where I live to The House of Bread. I can get there in three minutes, if I hit the one stoplight just right. Or if I actually get to the stoplight. I didn't make it that day because my brain went on autopilot and I ended up sitting in the parking lot at Walmart, trying to figure out what I needed from the store. I was actually sitting in my car, trying to remember whether or not I'd made a list and forgotten it at the apartment.

That was funny, but scary. I sat there at Walmart for about five minutes before my friend called to check on me. When I told her what happened, she drove to Walmart and we ended up getting coffee at the McDonald's inside. Happy ending to that weirdness:  I was able to pick up some groceries while we were there. Downer to that weirdness: my friend has been calling me every few hours to make sure I'm not sitting somewhere in a parking lot when I'm supposed to be somewhere else.

It's just stress, right?

My friend advised me that the best way to deal with stress is to acknowledge it. Until she reminded me, I had not thought of the reasons I'm struggling to cope right now:

The months of April, May, June and July don't hold a lot of great memories for me. My mother passed in April (2001); my father was born in the month of May and died in July (of 1991); June is the month when I walked away from the best man I have ever loved; my oldest brother died in July of last year; July of 2011 is when I was hit was sarcoidosis. This April, my sister was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer.

So, I am trying to acknowledge my stressors, but even doing that is adding stress. The goofy, crazy weirdness continues.

While I'm normally an easily distracted person, this emotional chaos is not helping. Writing is usually an escape for me, but I can't concentrate long enough to get any writing done. After last night, I'm considering taking a break from doing anything that requires my full attention.

When I write, I don't like to wander far from my laptop in my bedroom because I'll get sidetracked. Normally, "getting sidetracked" means I will end up chatting on the phone with someone or taking a walk to clear my head. Little things like that only take me off course for about half and hour. Last night, in the middle of a writing session, I took a quick bathroom break. I ended up rearranging the towels and soaps, then I realized I needed to clean out the makeup drawer. I don't like throwing things away so I put the makeup in a bag to giveaway to friends. And why stop at makeup? I have plenty of clothes and accessories I don't wear or use anymore....

When I finished, I had a gallon-sized freezer bags of cosmetics and medium-sized packing box of clothing to tote to my car. Apparently, that was thirsty work because, before I knew it, I was in the kitchen and blending up a some lemon, ginger and mango smoothies.

Life doesn't play fair and, every now and then, I need a reminder that I am no match for what it's going to throw at me. Okay, I am reminded, but I am also reassured:

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. (John 14:27)

--Free

Psalm 23

Clean Mental Closets

I've had a little break from on-line life. My head was too crowded and full and unorganized to be healthy. I felt a little like this

*

and I couldn't breathe right. I had too many things swimming around in my head: worries, tensions, anxieties, fears, unrealistic wishes and impossible dreams. Actually, that's pretty much the way I live seventy percent of my life. Chaotic joy. Lately, it's been too much chaos.

I'm still not all the way fine, but compared to the way it was, my head feels better and all like

It's not perfect, but it's better. I still have to go through the vital things left after I trashed all the worthless crap.

I think I have come to grips with certain probabilities. Probably I am never

• going to have the great jobs I've always landed
• going to be as skinny as I used to be
• going to laugh as loud and fearlessly as I once was able to 
• going to look at anyone with my heart wide open
• going to live a life as weary-free as I did at 25

Probably. But I still have a twinge of hope.

Now that summer seems to be - really, finally, no-joking-around here - I've been getting ready to re-enter the world. My cocoon of disability is loosening its grip. First thing is getting the transportation taken care of - insurance, title, tune-up... Next, a job. I have a friend who likes to call employment a J.O.B. (Journey of the Broke), but she's never been forced out of that journey, bless her.

All in all, things are going okay. I still need to get my butt off the computer and make some call, take care of some business. This here was just a catch-up post. How the heck are you guys? Hope you are smiling.

Peace
-Free

*credit to whomever concerned for those brilliant images used