Nudging is Nothing New

If you read the various news articles about this plan for behavior modification, you might be angry about it, but, really, this kind of plan has been in place for years.

Media hustlers created cravings for so much of what society focuses on: beauty not brains, sex not love, thin not healthy, trendy not useful. For many generations we have been receiving messages about how to see ourselves and others. The idea of thrift and moderation in anything has been replaced by a consumerist attitude that has us replacing material things before we need to.

This "new" idea is portrayed as being for the good of all, but if we can't handle the sense of right and wrong and good and bad we are born with, why introduce anything new? Why not just start giving credit to the original idea?

Of course, I am Christian so my beliefs are becoming outdated. A lot of people believe Christians need to be re-educated. Maybe all these new ideas for behavior-training a society is to enforce what the Bible has already talked about:

Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! (Isaiah 5:20)

There's a sort of proof of what I say in the fact that probably half the people who read that are groaning at my "ignorance."

Peace
--Free

Where Love Goes

This is my oldest brother. Of course, this is when he was younger.

My brother passed away yesterday, but not before he made so many friends that we are still getting random calls. He had a career in two branches of the military: Army then Air Force. He was a fisherman, a shade-tree mechanic, a jokester, a master of the backyard barbecue and everyone's friend. If you were hungry, he was going to feed you. If you didn't have a place to stay, he made sure to find you one. He wasn't clean-mouthed, but he was pure in his heart. He didn't quote the Bible, but he treated others the way he wanted to be treated. He wasn't a diplomat, but he was honest.

He was my big brother and I loved him - even when I didn't like him. And he loved me.

When I thought of him last night, all I could do was laugh because (even though I know that Heaven isn't what I decide), I imagined my brother and my mother up there together, planning a fishing trip. This morning I woke up happy to think that at least they are up there together. When I go to sleep in a little while, it will be the first time in a long time that I don't have to worry about him being sick or in pain.

Gwen Jackson "Chubby" Conway
1949-2013

I will see you again, Chubby.

For we know that if our earthly house of this tabernacle were dissolved, we have a building of God, an house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. -2 Corinthians 5:1

When You Were Stronger

When I was little and when you were stronger, I knew that you would do anything to keep me safe. No one was going to mess with your little sister, no one was going to make her cry.

When I was younger, you taught me how to take care of my car. You taught me how to change a tire and check the oil. You taught me what to do if the car skidded on ice. You told me to always watch my rear-view mirror to make sure strangers didn't follow me home - and you told me that if someone did follow me, I was to drive to the nearest police station, fire station or the busiest place I could find.

Just a few years ago, when I felt all alone and was living so far away from anyone who loved me, you said, "Tell me when you want to come home. I will send a ticket or a car or I will just come and get you."

Just the other day, I was looking at you, I realized that everything you gave me - every lesson that a big brother teaches a little sister. This morning, when I was looking at you, looking at the doctors and nurses who were working to keep you here a little longer, I realized you will always be stronger. When you are gone away from this life, you will always be my big brother.

I love you, Chubby.

Peace
--Free

Hotties Then, Still Hot Now

Speaking of milestones - as I did the other day - I was thinking of some of the musical heroes I had. I Googled a few of them. Have you seen how freaking good the guys from Duran Duran still look? It's not fair, they just don't get ugly at all! And Tina Turner? That heffa!!! She looks better than most women half her age do. 

There is this comedian, Bill Burr, who jokes about the differences in ethnicities when it comes to how well we age. A lot of people will say that Black folks have the advantage there. I want to say that that sounds... slightly racist. On the other hand, we get hypertension and diabetes cutting our life-span down, at least we get to look good for the time we are here. 

All kidding aside (and I really was kidding, you guys), I love to do that walk back through my hell-raising days and see how my past celebrity crushes turned out. Did they make it through their youthful craziness like I did? Did they end up finding happiness in adulthood? Let's see:

I just loved Kool and the Gang. I actually met a few of the guys once, here in Anchorage in a lounge in the Sheraton Hotel. Two of them were really nice and one was an egotistical a-hole. Still "Jungle Boogie" was my jam then  and still is today. 

When I was looking for images, I noticed that a lot of the newer photos feature guys that were not in the original lineup. I'm too lazy to look it up - and this is a blog post, not a thesis - but maybe there's a new grouping. These pics are the only good ones I could find. Any other new ones look like Ray,Goodman, and Brown,  not the Gang...

The Jheri Curl days

Looking good, guys.

Duran Duran was the stuff. For my rocking hotties, they were right up there with INXS, Journey and Billy Squier. And, if I was into women, Pat Benatar would have been my squeeze. The boys in Duran Duran are still hot. I mean, hot damn. I just want to kiss the lips right off of John Taylor's face, and Nick featured in a few of my fantasies back in the day. Glad to say that it seems they are all married, settled and happy. Lucky gals, their women.

Even Simon's wife is still hot. 

And Ms. Turner... What the hell? Does this woman have vampire genes? The "Now" pic seems to be from 2010, but, no matter, she looks just as good in 2013. I love her story for two reasons: 1 - She proves there is life after abuse, and 2 - She proves there can be love in later life.

If I could just have her legs, I'd be happy.

I really don't know why it is that some people seem to age so well when others just don't. Bill Burr might or might not be right, but his explanation is hilarious. (I really hope no one takes offense at any of this, by the way!) 

When I was watching this on Netflix, I happened to be getting ready for bed and putting on my nightly lotion. Damn near broke a rib laughing at this man and his insanity. Funny guy, Mr. Burr.

Peace

--Free

Where's My Reset Button

I want to scream as loud as the sky is big.

This has been the 9 days of hell for anything I own with a power button.

My phone decided to act crazy first. It learned the trick of turning off its own sound and then got really smart and would just shut down and take a nap. Of course, I wouldn't notice this until a friend (or the police) showed up because my family put out a Worry Alert.  (They think that my sarcoidosis will rage and I'll go somewhere and curl up in a ball and not be able to find my way home! Just kidding. I think.)

Lord.

Just when I figured out the work-around for the phone (the cure for the volume involves the ridiculousness of twisting that bitch), my computer caught the an attitude. The extended warranty I paid for expired on June 2nd. This mo-fo decided to catch some kind of nasty bug right around, oh... let's say June third. I won't go into all the fixes I tried on the PC before I gave up and just wiped it. Of course, there's a story behind that story...

I'm sure that some people own computers that have a clearly defined way of returning the beast to its factory defaults. Mine is not one of those. When I looked at my options, I could Restore, Recover, and anything but wipe the damn thing clean. Finally, I gave up and called Toshiba. I dared them to try to charge me.

(Just in case you have a Toshiba and want to take your own lumps with this fix, wiping the Satellite P series involves the F8 and Power buttons. Disclaimer: You're own your own if you eff something up.)

Okay, so I now have a reset PC, a somewhat functioning phone and the biggest technology hangover ever. I've been out of touch with half the people I know because (shame, shame, shame), the phone and computer are the mainstays of our communication....

I'm spending today restoring files and bookmarks and my whole dang internet life. Before I go to sleep tonight, I'm going to talk to the Lord about doing a factory reset on parts of my life.

Peace
--Free

On some alternate world, the other me is having a wonderful life.

Milestones

We all have our lives marked in milestones. It starts with our parents tagging our achievements from tooth-cutting to first steps, first this and that.

The first real milestone I waited for was getting my period. Idiot. I lived in agony for two to three days a month for year afterward. Anyone around me lived in agony for a few more days each month. Then came the usual markings for most of us:

• 16th birthday
• First kiss (or serious crush)
• Driver's license & first car
• Graduating high school
• Standard college or the college of life
• Love and Marriage and sex (in whichever order)
• First house or other major investment

And on and on and on.

Then there are the other things that can count as being profound to our existence. For me, having death take away someone I loved showed me how real life can be. I sometimes think that only death can do that.

Do you remember the first time someone broke your heart? Or the first time you did some awful thing that you hope never comes to light?

I remember the first mistake I made that will haunt me for all the days I breathe.

All those milestones are from when I was younger. These days, I take some things more serious and other things don't touch my soul at all. 

The other day, my great-nephew grabbed my face and planted a big wet, snotty kiss under one eye. That was a moment that I never want to forget. Being cherished by a child feels different to me now that I am older.

The milestones that make me shake my head and think of my parents are the ones they warned me about: "Just wait til you have to squint to read anything." Or: "Help me get up from here, and remember that someone will have to help you one day."

I called my sister from Walmart the other day and had her laughing herself into a crying fit.

"Girl, I am in here looking for the Ben-Gay, and you won't believe how old all these people look!"

"You're old(pause)er."

"Not old like them. They look and act old."

Said the woman slinking down Aisle Three, trying to read the labels on jars of muscle ointments.

It probably makes me sound mentally unfit to say that I sometimes want to cry when I can't just spring right up from sitting cross-legged on the floor. Some months ago - too long ago - I had to tell a date to adjust his embrace because I was getting a crick in my neck. Gone are those acrobatic days of magic when I only had to worry about being respected afterwards. These days I'm lucky when I have to worry about it at all and, when I do, the biggest worry is that 911 might have to be called at some point. How embarrassing would that be?

But.

I am so very thankful to still be counting milestones. 

My sarcoid is back and acting the fool (if you can't tell by the poor composition of this post), and I am just sick to death of it. If I weren't at least getting my figure back from the months of prednisone, I might actually lose a little more of what's left of my mind.

But, again, I am so glad to still be here, bitching and complaining about it all. I'm not looking for the milestone that will be marked by a final church service.

Peace

--Free

Devil Has Been Busy

But so has God.

I finally got over to Vocational Rehab to see about getting back into some kind of career post-Sarc. Of course, the sarc heard that I had plans so it came out to visit. On my birthday. Just like the gift it is...

That's be irritating news. The better news is that I have been working on my courses over at CodeAcademy. I'm pretty pleased with myself since I have managed to get through almost all the HTML training. I'm well on my way to learning some actual programming language because Java is  up next. (By the way -for anyone who did get over to one of the free training sites, I can tell you that viewing some of the Udemy vids is a good way to make some stuff stick.)

That's the about-me news. The rest of the news would be all about idiots doing stupid things to get their 15 minutes of fame. I won't even go there. What I do want to do is give you something to smile about.

When I was feeling all achy and creaky and morose the other day, I got an email from a friend. She ended the email with the saying I've always loved:

That's the real truth there (in my life anyway). And it's not a bad thing. Cheered me up, so I thought I'd post this link to a site of great Yiddish sayings. Nothing like a little common sense served up with a smile...

YiddishWit.com

I like: "In a beautiful apple sometimes you find a worm"

Just like life.

Peace
--Free

P.S.: Hello to all my super-special group of G+ friends (you know who you are). I will be back there soon to hassle you! lol

Character or Success

I guess I'm just in a pissy mood - or else ranting is my way of letting off steam without hurting someone.

Looking at the trashy news from time to time, I see so many folks who have been blessed with so much who throw it away. The latest member of this club is a pro ball player, making millions, who killed a friend over some criminal b.s. First of all, to kill anyone, let alone a friend is its own kind of twist on a basic character defect. Second of all, to be hanging on to criminal behavior when you have been given an out, well...

It's not that there aren't as many decent, honest, real people in this world, but when is the last time that any of them get more attention from the media than the idiots? It's much easier to find news and information about the trash of this society. Matter of fact, it's kind of hard to avoid it. The way things are going now, if I were one of the idiots, I'd have advice for any kids I might have today:

• Instead of wasting too much energy on your school studies, work on your looks. Be as good-looking or quirky as you can. That way, you can break into media as a fashionista, YouTube sensation or reality show contestant.
• Learn to rap or sing (or not). If you can't rap, latch on to someone who can and become a member of their entourage. If you can't sing, work on a look that will distract from your lack of vocal talents.
• Forget what you've ever been taught about being polite. What you want to do is work on being snarky enough to be amusing to people who don't care about manners (or to be intimidating enough to people too polite to shut you down).
• Learn to be vicious enough to take what you want. The slogan was never to "Ask for life in a fair and honest way," but to take it by the reigns.

I know that sounds pushy, but, really - why be king when you can be bold or brazen? Why be sweet when nasty gets peoples attention?

Parents, quit teaching your daughters to respect themselves; better to teach them how to seduce the man they want. Doesn't matter how honest or sweet they are - there are a lot of dead goldfish, but the barracudas live!

Don't teach your boys to be "nice" and honorable. Not too many girls are looking to mate for life with that one. They are wearing shirts that tell you exactly what they are after: "If you're rich, I'm single." They have their own TV shows: The Real Housewives.

Teachers, stop trying to teach kids how to count and read - well, I think you have done that, but... Teach them how to fluff up a weak resume. Show them how to talk a better game than they really know how to play.

That's real life, real as it gets today. Makes me think of Gandhi's “Seven Deadly Sins":

Wealth without work
Pleasure without conscience
Science without humanity
Knowledge without character
Politics without principle
Commerce without morality
Worship without sacrifice.” 

Peace
--Free

More & Less (of what we need)

I'm supposed to be doing something else right now - something unpleasant and tiresome. Before I get to that, I will blow off some steam with a little (big) rant about people. There are just certain things more people need to be doing more of and other things many of us need to be doing less of. . Of course, all this is just from my opinionated point of view, but here's today's rant:

More people need to spend more time...

• Getting up and moving around. I'm not talking about just getting up and going to work every day (although that's always good). I'm talking about physically moving your body just to be moving. Take a walk, dance around the house, visit a museum or bookstore. Just do something to keep life interesting. I know people who don't work and still don't use all that free time to live some kind of a life. That's a lot like mental suicide. If nothing else, you are spitting in the face of an ability that some people would give anything for.
• Learning something. I love the Gandhi quote: "Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever." You can read tons of studies talking about how lifelong learning is important for staying mentally spry. I'm not elderly (yet), but I'm not very mentally spry. I'm going to do everything I can to work the brain muscles I have left. With the technology we have today, there's no excuse not to take advantage of the opportunities to learn. If you don't have a computer, libraries do, friends do - somebody can hook you up. If you don't have access to a library or friends with a computer, then ask around for help with that or other resources. I bet if you didn't have food, you'd know how to apply for assistance. I'm just saying.
• Helping each other. Someone you know needs something from you. Maybe some words of encouragement. Maybe they need to borrow your computer! (heh heh) You might be really good at something (cooking or cleaning or math or balancing a budget) that someone else could benefit from learning. 
• Accepting help and advice. If someone has criticized you, think about the criticism before you get mad and shut down. Sometimes people are just hating, but, sometimes, there's a little truth in a comment - insensitive or not. Don't complain about being sick and tired or depressed if you don't even want to make an effort to get better. Everyone has problems. Not everyone wants to do what it takes to solve their problems.
• Improving their situation. Unless you are perfect, there is room for improvement. That could go along with any of the previous points. 
• Being kinder to each other. It is not going to hurt society for all of us to start being a bit more pleasant. When your parents taught you as a child not to talk to strangers, I don't think they meant to turn you into a rude adult. It won't kill any of us to nod, say "hello" or make friendly eye contact with one another. Sometimes I walk through a public place wondering what the hell has everyone so mad or sad. 

If more of us need to be doing more of certain things, lots of us sure do need to stop doing some things. 

• Stop trying to be "gangsta" or a "hottie" or whatever ignorant, unoriginal thing that happens to be going around. Ever notice that when gangster rap went mainstream, a lot of folks started dressing, talking, walking and having the gansta attitude? You can go into a grocery store and feel crowded out by all the suburban kids trying to be Ice Cube. You want to roll your eyes and shrug it off, but you can never be sure just how far the wanna-bes are willing to go with their role-playing. And don't get me started on the kids running around trying to be the local version of some fake-a-lebrity or reality show idiot. I look at these people talking and acting like whoever is the latest trendy embarrassment with a TV show and think to myself, "What a horrible world." I think to myself, "What. A. Hor-ruh-bull world. Ohhhhhh, yeahhhh!"
• Stop supporting things that are bad for us, the world, arts and entertainment. If I could wave a wand and do one thing, it would be to stop another semi-talented singer from taking over the world of music, fashion and (in some cases) politics. Just because we live in a time when almost any one of us can do and be anything, that doesn't mean we should want to do or be just anything. Why not be someone promoting positive and worthwhile issues? If I see another influential singer, rapper, actor or whoever promoting a brand of liquor or rip-off debit card, I'm going to puke. The one thing I hate about some entertainment biggies is that once they get above their former life circumstances, they send nothing positive back down the ladder for others. People, stop validating celebrities who have such disdain for the rest of us. 
• Stop being victims of the latest thing. I remember way back when somebody scalded themselves with coffee from a fast-food place. Everybody fell on the bandwagon. Now, we can't buy gum without warning labels on the wrapper not to get a paper cut. The latest thing is bullying. I wonder sometimes if we don't live under a herd mentality. The first time I heard  of a person feeling damaged from being bullied, I remembered how I was picked on because of my scrawny size in my early school years. Later on, I got teased for being so dark-complected. Eventually, I learned to fight the kids that physically picked on me, then I grew a thicker skin and a stronger self-esteem against the problems. It was maybe a couple years ago that I first read about someone being driven to suicide by bullying. What? Maybe I am not fully aware of the type of problems going on in schools these days, but... There are kids who have to go to school (or just live day to day) in the middle or war zones and famines. When I hear about first-world problems like bullying, I kind of expect people to be just a little bit tougher.  (Please understand that I am not blowing off the fact that people have been hurt by bullying to the point of suicide. If kids in our schools are being subjected to bullying of such an extreme extent, something extreme should be done by authorities or parents before it gets that out of hand. Maybe what's happening today isn't the type of bullying I grew up with.)

There are a lot more things I could rant about, but now that I have this off my chest, I feel better.

Peace

--Free

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle." (Plato)

"For Attractive lips, speak words of kindness.

For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair, let a child run their fingers through it once a day.

For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.

People, more than things, have to be restored, renewed, reclaimed, and redeemed. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself and the other for helping others." (Sam Levenson)

(both quotes from Good Reads.)

Speaking of Learning

Since I mentioned my hopes of getting into the field of coding, I thought I would pass along links to the different sites I've been seeing. Whether you are looking to learn something, or find (like me) a new career path, or are just interested in learning for its own sake, here are some resources:

For coding -

• Codeacademy (nicely set up for the beginner to track learning progress)
• W3Schools (self-described as "the world's largest development site)
• Udacity has an Intro to Computer Sciences that looks organized & practical.
• Hackety Hack is a downloadable program to teach you to... program. 

For app development & other -

• Coursera offers free courses of all kinds, including those in computer science. Check to see which courses are open for which dates. 
• General Assembly offers courses both online and in classroom. The Mobile Development and  Web Development courses look interesting.
• Sitepoint offers to show how to design apps without having programming skills. (Should I be worried?)
• Mozilla offers a tool to help you get creative while Google has a learning spot for developers interested in their products. (Now that Google has surpassed Apple as the most valuable company, it might be nice to jump in on the learning.)

There are tons of courses and classes and intructors to be found on the web for just about anything you want to learn. For this post, I listed sites that I have seen mentioned more than once in articles and reviews. I also tried to list only free courses, but some sites offer a choice of free and paid, so read the small print. Most of all, have fun learning something new. At 50-and-change, I am just trying to keep up with the kids.

Peace

--Free

New Things

So, I am still on what I am calling my "Discovery Tour." I'm trying to discover a new career path. Actually, I'm pretty open to a new life path! (My sister says I am just having mid-life jitters, but more on that in a moment.)

Since I loved my last job, I hope there's a way I can get back to it, but... There would have to be some modifications and I don't know how well that would go over. My next option would be a business, but I am too much of a dreamer and my pockets are too flat right now for that avenue. Finally, I come to the option of learning something new that will keep me motivated and employable.

Ta-da!

I want to learn to write code. For someone who has days where remembering how to write her name, this might sound ambitious. It is, I guess, but I have made up my mind. I only have a couple anxieties about it right now: this kind of crap and the fact that I might not get the encouragement I need from the folks at Vocational Rehab. Another worry - from inside my own head is - about my ability to learn and retain the necessary information. I've always been a quick study, but I haven't always been "over 50" or struck with any serious illness.

Whatever.

I have made up my mind to give this my best shot. I want to start with writing code and progress to programming.* We will see how it goes. I hope that one day this will apply to me:

Peace
--Free

*As a programming teacher, one thing does irritate me: the persistent misuse of the word “programming” when the author means coding. Programming is creating the logic, coding is translating that logic into code. Many students come into class able to code, but almost none come in able to program — that is, create the logic. They think sitting down and making spaghetti code is programming.

Tom Fordham (Yep)

Money in Your Jammies

I've had the worst past few days. EVER. I won't soak your shoulder pads with all my tears, but just to give you an idea:

My computer is being crazy. I might have to reset it and start over.
Even when my PC was behaving, my internet service wasn't. Shame on ACS!
My phone has decided to cop an attitude...
For the last few days, I have felt (physically) like a microwaved turd

Yeah. Just... Yeah.

But I am considering it a blessing that I am here to complain. And here to share something with you.

You ever wondered if there was something you could do to make your downtime work for you? Not me, but I have wondered if I could maybe make some money until I am back on a "real" job. Let me tell you, any and every piece of monetary metal would be a blessing over here. I can't remember how I found the first site, but once I did, I scouted out a few work-via-the-internet leads. Without further ado, here you go:

• CloudCrowd! 
• MTurk (Amazon)
• Shorttask
• Rapidworkers
• Minifreelance

I am not doing reviews of the sites because I haven't tried any yet. Those listed above, though, do see to have the most positive commentary by other bloggers and forum members. There are ton more that I heard of or found:

• Textbroker (*I lied. I did try this site years long time ago & was not thrilled, but it could have been my writing!)
• ChaCha (this is a strange set up)
• Freelancer
• oDesk
• Rent-acoder

Just for kicks and snickers, I did a search and came up with so many sites: getacoder, guru, getafreelancer, scriptlance, ifreelance... ~shrug~

I sure hope that some of these sites are worth your time to check out. Times are a little tight for a lot of us. Sure would be nice to score some income without having to put on your good underwear.

Peace

--Free

(And to +Alex Taller, +Sandy Sandmeyer, +Kim Barnes, +Spencer Bryant, +Marla Hughes & +J.D. Hughes and so many of the sweethearts over on G, I will be back soon to check up on all of you!)

One Song, Many Feelings

You all know that I love music. I think it's one of the most wonderful gifts from the Creator.

One of the greatest songs ever, ever, ever recorded is, I believe, Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah." But not  as sung by Cohen. Or Rufus Wainwright. Or anyone else I've heard sing it - although this version is pretty in a self-conscious way. Bless Cohen for the lyrics that try explaining love, but it's the Jeff Buckley version that moves me to a beautiful place.

The song is on my mind because it's one I use to set the tone as I work on one of my on-going stories. Sometimes, when I need a good memory of love, I play the song in an loop for hours. Listening to it when I've been assaulted by thoughts of my lat relationship is like taking a shower after rolling in mud.

I felt so strongly that Buckley made the most perfect version that I spent a few minutes searching some information. According that bible of secular wisdom, Wikipedia, I'm in the majority. And I find it lovely that Buckley himself was able to put words to a thought I had when he described it as a "hallelujah to the orgasm." Not just a physical exclamation of the senses, but that spiritual sort of sealing of a bond we make with someone we love. It's a pretty powerful song.

Here's Rufus Wainwright. I found his version nice, but not intimate or sweet enough for the words being sung.

And the lyricist Cohen. This version made me feel like I was being prayed over by a fire-and-brimstone minister.

And Buckley, who sang as if he truly understood what it would mean to sing the words only to someone who deserved hearing them.

As you listened, did you find yourself holding your breath?

Peace
--Free

Polish, Oil & Cleanse (the body, that is)

Since I have been having such a suck-y couple of weeks, I decided to treat myself to something special after the gym today. Instead of my usual mad-dash shower at Planet Fitness and sun-drying on the way to pick up my sister, I came home and pampered myself before getting back out in the sun. Here's the treatment, if any of you are interested in trying it (guys too!):

• Salt Scrub (salt ground down to a consistency slightly finer than table salt) I use this salt scrub from my health food store: 
  
  

  

  A dead sea-salt scrub $5.99 at Natural Pantry
• Oil (I prefer coconut or olive, but that's just me. I supposed a good cooking oil cook do...?) This is what I have a HUGE bottle of that I got on sale: 
  
• Warmth. I turned the heat up and barricaded myself in the bathroom with the hot-water shower running for about 10 minutes to get it nice and steamy.

If you are using your own salt and oil (and not a pre-mixed scrub), first put the oil on your skin, then add the salt. I did my legs and torso - front and back. Massage the salt and oil gently so as to exfoliate skin. Let the oil and salt rest on your skin for a while as you sit in the humid heat. When finished relaxing, shower with water only. After your shower, apply some oil and lotion all over.

When I finished this treatment, I couldn't stop touching my skin. It really felt nice, especially while I was applying my lotion/oil mix. I suggest that, unless you are going straight to bed, um, naked, lightly pat yourself down with a towel so that you don't stain your clothes. (Even though, I've heard that coconut oil is a natural sun-block, I use a 100 SPF on my face anyway.

I left to pick up my sister, looking great - all smooth and dark brown and shining like new money! LOL

By the way - the "cleanse" part of this is something that +Marla Hughes & I had a giggle over. It's cucumber water. Just a big tall glass of it. But ONLY when you are going to be near a restroom for several hours. The first time I drank this water, I was at the gym. I had to get off the treadmill, wipe it down (because of gym rules, not because I peed on it!) and do a Jesse Owens getting to the bathroom before I embarrassed myself. TWICE in an hour and a half. I finally gave up my workout and went home. 

Cucumber water is easy (and thanks to my niece, +Gabrielle B for telling me):

A cuke, sliced very thin, put into a BIG pitcher of water. Leave overnight and - you got Cuke Water. One good-sized cucumber produced a pitcher and a half of water for me. I drank the first pitcher half-way until the water got too "strongly" flavored, then I added more water for the next day. Gabby says she adds a little sweetener to hers. I drink my sugarless. I read here about the benefits of this water. I wish I could find again the page saying cukes are nature's strongest diuretic... I did find this page of benefits of cucumbers. Here is another source of info. (This is the www, so grain of salt, folks.)

Peace

--Free

Peace Amid the Books

There is no place like a library, is there? Even with all of our electronics that allow us to read "books" on our computers, phones, tablets, phablets, Kindles... there is something about a library.

My mind has been playing Jumblina on me lately. I can't concentrate long enough to work on my story. I can't hold thoughts long enough to finishing thinking them.

The library was a nice place to be yesterday. When I couldn't work on my manuscript, I just sat there and enjoyed being alive and in the presence of what other writers have accomplished. Told myself that everything will soon be alright.

God bless Mr. Loussac.

The *Ann Stevens Room (view 1)

The Ann Stevens Room (view 2)

Peace

--Free

* Ann Stevens was the first wife of the late Senator Ted Stevens.

We All Laugh As One

I needed - and I mean needed - a good, refreshing laugh today. This video, shared by +Susan Lewis on G+ did it for me.

I have nothing else to say. I couldn't talk right now if I wanted to. My mouth is too full of laughter. (By the way, this explains what set off the giggles.)




Peace
--Free

Death, Stephen King and Other Musings

I was surprised (at least a little) by this article on Stephen King and his belief in intelligent design. What surprised me is not that he believes in a Creator, but how interesting his view is. He admits that his beliefs are inconsistent. Not many people will cop to that. Most of us will swear that we have never had a doubt in our minds or hearts about what we believe.

Some Christians (me, me, me!) are pretty hardcore about what we will admit when it comes to our faith. I think that's because we want others to see our choice as sweet and easy. "Wade on over here to the Ark, folks! Don't worry, the water's fine!" We try to sell the Christian life as a luxury cruise and not a journey in the hold of a slave ship. The truth: it's kind of both. Depends on which moment of which day you are in the trip.

(Let me borrow some of Stephen King's honesty here and say this: I believe in God, but I sometimes doubt my faith.)

My niece and I were having a conversation about life and death and God and faith. We got caught up in the old wages-for-a-day vs wages-for-a-few-hours dilemma. I don't care how strong my faith is, there are times when I just have to pray hard about that. (By the way, I'm talking about how we all get the same salvation, no matter how early or late we ask Jesus for it.) My niece and I were also questioning the whole issue of whether or not suicides go to Heaven.

For years, I was so staunch and expert (hah!) on all things MY FAITH. I had my very set ideas about how God handles things. All things. I've read the Bible, therefore... I can tell you everything about how God will judge others, but I know He will make exceptions when it comes to me. So there.

Seriously, though, as I told my niece, I know what God says is right and wrong in most general situations, but we are all going to judged individually - not in groups, pairs or on a friends and family plan. I truly believe that, when it comes to how we live our lives - as sisters and brothers, mothers and fathers, friends and lovers - when we die, we are all going to have our own conversation with the Lord.

Just because I might know how a person lived, who am I to say what was in their heart when they died? Who am I to understand God's conversation with you about your sin when I am still trying to have my own discussions about my own problems?

Peace
--Free

Cleaning Day (Flashback) Music

This is not my usual day to clean house, but got all caught up in the writing yesterday. And, because I am sort of neglecting the blog, I'm doing a cheat post.


I went all "Old School" on it. Here's what I'm vacuuming, mopping, dusting and dancing around to as I try to pull this disaster area of an apartment together:

Can you tell that I LOVE Klymaxx?

Have a great day, all. Let's try to get it together for the week coming up...

Peace

--Free

For The Glipho Group

I was talking to a really nice guy over at the Glipho.com social blogging site & really wanted to explain the beauty of Alaska to him. I'm talking about the beauty that we can see just driving around in our cars - not having to fly out over the mountains or get a guide...

So, here is a photo post by someone is not that great of a photographer!

Just a sunset I caught while riding around midtown Anchorage

This is out at Beluga Point. Friend & I drove out one day. 

Can catch a great view even from Walmart's parking lot!

On drive to Beluga Point

Campbell Creek, running next to my family's house

The Homer Spit. Went with fam so they could do fishing charter for the day

Houses sitting on the mountainside at Beluga Point.

Was a beautiful walk in the fam's neighborhood today!

And here are some webcam views

• From the Sheraton Hotel downtown
• Midtown
• Downtown
• Some "weather-cams" at various locations

So, yes, Anchorage is gorgeous when she wants to be, but the winters are getting too long for me. I need some heat!

Peace
--Free

A Sneaky Peeky

Okay you guys. I never do this, but a really dear friend encouraged me to.

I am going to post a snippet of an excerpt from the rough draft of my current work. According to my friend, this will force me to tighten up my writing. He also thinks that I need to feel "exposed" as a writer so that I can really create. This friend of mine says that I am both wild and repressed. (Some friend, huh?)

Anyway, I am always so paranoid that someone is going to take my story and run away to Printland with it! I can't even talk about it anymore, so I'm just going to do it.

Untitled Work

(by T.M.Conway)

Of course, I felt stupid. I was sixteen but felt five. Being here in this new/old place where I’d been born but never lived, it made me feel out of sync with my soul.

My cousin let me feel lost for a second then said, “I started smoking when I was fourteen. Quit for a while, then I met Boogie and started back. It was smoke or get pregnant.”

Now I felt even more stupid. Who was Boogie and why did smoking keep Sugar from getting pregnant. And why was my cousin doing things at just a few months older than me that could get her pregnant? Then I learned that Sugar had her own way of carrying on conversations. She answered me without prodding.

“I was trying hard to keep from smoking,” she said. “Mother Henry dying the way she did just about scared shit out of me about cigarettes.”

(Mother Henry? Someone from the church then. I was keeping up.)

“She had so much trouble breathing right before she died that they said Brother Henry had to prop her up so high in bed, looked like she was ‘bout to take off running.”

Overhead, the Collinsford sun was bright. I liked the way the heat made my legs feel longer and prettier. The heat did things to me, I’d been noticing. Texas heat was different from the heat in Anchorage or Seattle. Texas heat made me think things and want things and even (if it was nighttime and the air still enough) feel things I didn’t know how to resist feeling.

Sugar’s voice came at me from like a dream I was having about being back here in my mother’s hometown – my birthplace.

“Said she’d only smoked for six or seven years when she was real young. Got saved and joined church and never lit another stick. Wouldn’t even let Brother Henry have his pipe anywhere but outside on the porch. All that and then died without being able to take a good deep breath.”

Somewhere an insect made a strange noise. A car or truck coughed to life a few streets away.

“I had to go over there one time and sit with the old lady. Just long enough for Brother Henry to get some rest while everybody else was at the church for a big prayer meet. I sat there for about an hour and almost lost my mind, listening to that woman trying to breathe. Poor old woman sounded so bad, I started talking to God about whether or not it would be a sin to put a pillow over her face and just let her rest for real.”

My heart seemed to be beating really slow, like through syrup or history or… something. I propped my elbows the scarred wood of my Aunt Sadie’s porch, lifted my face to the sun  and closed my eyes. (Dreaming awake.)

“So you quit smoking?” My voice didn’t sound as if it came from me.

“For a while. It was too hard though. It was like when you try to make your mind empty. All you can do is fill it up, right? And I stayed cranky cos all the time I was either hung-over or sore. Pretty sure Boogie was starting to hate me.”

I turned my head, squinted against sunrays to look at Sugar.

She shrugged. “Cos I was always drunk or fucking. Was the only way I could keep my mind off smoking.”

My heart punched into my ribs. I’d never heard the word “fuck” spoken. Images flashed through my mind. Images of the time I’d seen a magazine hidden behind the toilet tank in a school friend’s house.

Sugar snorted a little laugh my way.

Was she laughing at me?

“Yeah. So. I don’t wanna end up with a baby hanging off my tit. Not yet. Not til at least after I finish school.” She yawned and leaned back, elbows against the top step, legs stretched down the other three.

I turned my head to look at her once more. Her eyes were closed against the world.

“And maybe not even then,” she said.

(© T.M. Conway)

Peace
--Free