I went shopping a few weeks ago for shoes and boots. I have two pairs of boots that I can wear right now. Keep in mind that this is Alaska, it is winter, and I have Sarc. I have balance issues. Walking, I'm like that sad old chick leaving the club after that one drink too many. Yeah.
There was a time when I could walk downhill on an icy sidewalk in 4-inch heels and never even quit swinging my ass. I fucked around the other day and damn near broke my neck getting out of my nephew's truck. In flat-soled boots. Times, they have-a changed on me.
Anyway, like I was saying, I've been scouting some new footwear. It hasn't been going well. They don't just design shoes anymore - footwear these days is like art conceived by Satan's minions.
This is the standard heel type I saw in one store:
Cute shoe, but that's not a heel, it's a potential weapon - with me as the victim. Do you understand how many ways I could hurt myself just trying to stand still in that bitch?
This heel is more my speed.
If I wanted to look like a schoolmarm with a side job doing the hoe-stroll.
Are you starting to see why I still only have two pairs of trotters?
On to the boots...
I really like this pair that I found online. Cute and I could walk my tail off in them.
My injury was caused when I saw the $100+ tag. Unless they are going to be doing the laundry and dishes, these have no place in my home.
And that's just footwear. Obviously, the fashion revolution wasn't televised (or I forgot to set the DVR). When the hell did clothing become so complicated?
I guess finding cute rags was easier when I was rocking those sizes 4 through 8. I really like this grey sleeve dress, but if I wore this out in public now, I'd get arrested or blind somebody. There isn't a pair of Spanx made to help me out with this one.
I might have hit on something with this one:
Great colors; loose enough to disguise things that need to be. I just can't justify the $60. I can get something similar at Burlington's for $19.99. The only problem is, finding a decent boot.
You know? Screw it. I'm going to just go with something my big brother taught me a long time ago: bring the focus back to the best. That used to be my legs, but I think now I better go find some really good lipstick and figure out how to line my eyes without jabbing myself.
Oh snap. I just saw that dashikis have made a little comeback.
$14.99? It's about to get real up in my closet.
Shalimar perfume was once my scent. Not just the perfume, but even the EDT and the lotions smelled amazing on my body. Shalimar, my sweet S...
My hair is pretty happy right now. Between the shampoo and conditioner that I am so in love with and this new leave-in, I feel as if I'm...
That's a saying from the old folks in the church. You know, something gets on your nerves, or someone does something they ought to be as...
( Part One of this review is found here .) UPDATE TO THE REVIEW WHY I NIXED THE TEA Final Update (Hah!) *I have been granted a ref...