Smell Good For Less

 As I was writing the post about Fragrantica last week, I realized I should do this post on some ways for finding affordable perfume. I love, love, love perfume (and purses). Because I am on a super-tight budget, I have to find ways to enjoy them without going broke. So here are some of my tips and tricks.

1. Pop Sugar Dabble 

You can score free samples when buying perfume from most shops online. Sephora and Ulta both offer samples, I believe. But free is best especially, if you are trying to find a scent to fall in love with. I really do not like buying full-size bottles of any fragrance - even when I usually love the brand. My favorite place for free samples is Pop Sugar Dabble. If you sign up, you can get free perfume samples that come from Macy's. You fill out a profile for Skin, Hair, Makeup, and Fragrance.

The latest couple of boxes I've received have included female fragrances: Y from Yves Saint Laurent, a couple from Narciso Rodriguez (For Her and Pure Musc), Givenchy's Irresistible and (Parfum), Marc Jacob's Perfect (EDT), and men's - The Most Wanted and Heritage. My little brother liked both of those. I like almost anything from Narciso Rodriguez and Pure Musc is lovely but For Her is everything.

You can get non-perfume samples from other places but 95% of my samples have been for perfumes (maybe because my hair and makeup profile is harder to match?). I've gotten to try CBD gummies and cocktail gummies (yum!). Some of the items are full-sized and pretty luxurious. I've gotten to try things that I otherwise would not have and I've even put some of them on my holiday gift list. One of my favorite items was the Elemis Pro-Collagen Cleansing Balm. I got a 0.7 oz travel size ($13-$16 on Amazon). The 3.6 oz full-size is around $65 at Macy's. The balm is oil-based so a little goes a long way. I think I've been using this jar for 6 months (sparingly) and still have some left.

2. eBay 

eBay is good for getting samples or travel-sized perfumes. I will check there first for all blind-buys. If I really love a pricey perfume, I will check for travel-sized items. When I got it into my head that I had to have at least a sample of True Religion's Love Hope Denim,, I went to eBay.

Got 46 instead of 45
of these cards

I have wanted to try this one for ages - but only because I've heard about how wonderful it is. Never having tested it out, I sure don't want to spend around $120 for a set of the fragrance (that was on Amazon) or even around $50 for a 4-piece gift set when it comes back in stock on Walmart. (What is absolutely insane is that I think those sets from each site are the exact same! Shame on you, Amazon!)

Imagine how happy I was when I got an eBay alert that there were a lot of 45 carded samples for around $10. Yes, please, I think I will. Even shipping was free. (Always add "free shipping" and "free returns" to your search criteria. And read the seller ratings.)

Do I care that this is not the bottle size of the fragrance? Nope. Do I care that the samples are in those little cards? Nope. Matter of fact, I love the idea of being able to tuck one of those little vials into my purse. For some perfumes, I even prefer the vials. A bottle is nice for displaying on the vanity however perfume shouldn't be stored in constant light and temperature changes. I keep all but a few of the vials in a box in a dark spot in my bathroom pantry. I divvy the rest between my purse and the medicine cabinet and I hand some out to friends, neighbors, and the staff at the hospitals.

Now that I have gotten to try this perfume, I know that I wouldn't mind having more when I run out. If I had hated it (as has happened with more than one blind buy), I was only out 10 bucks and some aggravation. 

By the way, I don't know if anyone else has noticed but... samples always smelled better than the retail bottles. At least, that has been my experience (I'm looking at you. Glossier...)

Anyway.

Now, to show how economical samples are, I found that a single vial of the LHD lasted over 2 weeks. That was with me using it about four days a week. I would sometimes layer it with something else or just skip a day but... I don't think that is too bad for $10. Plus, now that I have played with it, figuring out where to apply it for the best effect, and learning what other scents layer well with it, I won't be wearing it constantly. It will just be in the rotation. I think this collection of vials will last at least 6 to 8 months. Sometimes, I go days loving one scent and then switching to something else. It depends on my mood.

3. Decants

My favorite way to get affordable fragrances is to shop for decants. I personally prefer Scentsplit. I have found them to have a good selection and affordable prices. There are many other similar sites. I suggest checking with Redditors to find which places are legit.

I've gotten several items from Scentsplit over the past 4 years or so. The last perfume I got there was Citizen Queen from Juliette Has A Gun because a full bottle was running somewhere in the $140 neighborhood. I can't even drive down those streets... I got an $18 5ml sample and I'm glad because I don't like it enough to miss any meals over. 

the 6ml size is no longer on the 
site...???

The only warning I will give about Scentsplit is that you don't rely on their idea of which scents lean more male or female and the site only shows as for Male/Unisex, Female/Unisex, and Unisex. They usually get it wrong anyway. Always check Fragrantica or some other resource. 

The inventory changes constantly so you have to check back if you don't find something.  But I do love Scentsplit because of the variety of sizes and prices they offer. If I know I love a specific perfume, I might (depending on the price) go for the 9ml bottle. If I am sampling from a name I like but the actual scent is new to me, I go for the 5ml. If I'm doing a total blind sample, I stick to the 1 or 2ml size. 

1, 2, 5 & 9 ml

4. Reddit

Now, I have not used this avenue but... there are lots of Redditors who do buy/share/trade deals. I have run across a couple of Redditors with Etsy shops who seem fair and legit. For now, I will stick with eBay. By the way, there are subreddits specific for sharing. I tend to haunt 

5. Liquidations/Closeouts

This is another system I have only been told about. Of course, a lot of sites require buying in huge lots. Actually, I think this is where a lot of the eBay items originate. I guess one way to use this system would be to buy things you personally like and sell off most of them via eBay or elsewhere. Again, this method is not for the fainthearted, light-walleted, or me... Just for peeking, I went to this site and was just... Wow. I learned of something called "shelf pulls". I am pretty sure that my NEST fragrance and these LHD cards came from somewhere like this. And I bet you all the money I don't have that a lot of eBay sellers shop these liquidators.

6. Old School Charm Method

I have not done this since living here where there are no major cosmetics or department stores. However, when I lived in Arizona, Texas, and Alaska, my favorite place to browse was Sephora's, Ulta, and Nordstrom. A good attitude, a great outfit, and a fun personality will score you all kinds of goodies. It's like when you fly. If you dress and act a certain way, you are more likely to get bumped up a seat class if something comes open. 

In one Arizona Sephora, I got laughing a joking with a member of the floor staff who liked the outfit I was wearing and I walked out 30 minutes later with a couple of bags stuffed with all kinds of sample perfumes and cosmetics. This guy started opening drawers of samples and tossed handfuls into a bag. He pulled from at least 4 of those large drawers. I never even knew those drawers were there. Who knew a fun day at the mall could be so amazing for a perfume lover? I and every lady in my office smelled fabulous for months.

Anchorage is land-large but people small. You do a walk of shame anywhere on the down-low. Shopping the cosmetics stores, you will run into at least 7 out of 10 people you are sort of familiar with. The clerks in these places are friendly - well, almost all Alaskans are friendly. If you are nice to them, staff will always be generous with samples. The folks at the Sephora in JC Penney's knew me so well, that they only picked out certain samples for me! I only bought Oriental or Gourmand perfumes at the time.

6. Miscellaneous

I have joined subscription services on a trial or off-and-on basis to get smaller bottles of perfume. Some that I have tried over the years:

• Luxsb subscription ($15.95/mo) -  This was the most recent one I used and gave up on. I like the wide variety but they seem to think too highly of themselves. I hate that most are "premium" priced (an additional $5 on top of monthly free or "ultra-premium" (an additional $10).  In my opinion, it's better just to go elsewhere for a decant or travel-size at a cheaper price. Also, if you. like most people, join using a coupon code, they require a minimum of 2 months before cancellation. And there is something tricky about whether or not you get the cute container. By the way, most subscription purchases and travel-sized fragrances will come with the containers. Or, or - you can find the containers online.
• Scentbird subscription ($16.95/mo) - they are decent. I do remember having some petty issues with them but I can't recall now what they were. I did like most of their fragrances. Check Reddit for feedback from other users.
• Frangrancenet - (bottles are marked as Fragrance.com) I've heard complaints but I like them even though prices are higher than the same sizes on subscription sites. Another thing about the pricing is that not all perfumes can be found in a travel size. I will say that the prices are as good as anywhere else I've looked. I think the last thing I got there was Fahrenheit (because I wanted my pillows to smell like "fine-assed man"!) I think the 0.27 travel spray was almost $15. Not bad since a bottle of Fahrenheit costs 2 arms, 2 legs, and a firstborn. In dollars? That's anywhere from $120 to $170. For a bottle of smell-good? Nope. 
• Lucky Scent - this is one that is often linked to by Fragrantica. My issue with them is that it's hard to sign up for an account until you are ready to actually buy from them. Okay, fair enough. However, not having an account means that you can't build a wishlist. I like wishing... Additionally, I find that they have a lot of weird (or maybe I should say "niche") brands that I've not heard of. I searched for Dior and nothing came up. Nothing. Really? On the plus side, they do have sample sizes (around $5 for 0.7ml) of all the randomly selected items I clicked on.  Then again, why not just by a decant?

Although I shop on Amazon for a lot of things, I'm not too quick to buy perfume there. The stock and the sellers' integrity are too shaky. Perfumes are easy to cheat with and since it's not food, the sellers won't get into trouble for being funky. You cannot return most perfumes (because they are considered flammable/hazardous or some such reason) unless they are deemed broken or defective. I did get a sketchy bottle of fragrance and got a refund because, in my reasoning, stinky equals defective!)

In all honesty, these miscellaneous sources are best if you have a regular set-aside budget for perfume shopping. If you are like me and just like to add to your collection occasionally, it's better (again, just my opinion) to use eBay or get decants. I don't like committing $15-$20 per month to something as frivolous as perfume. I pay less than that for grocery delivery memberships. I like my perfume and I think it's wonderful (if not a sort of first-world emotional necessity) to treat yourselves, but... I'd feel better sending that kind of money to someone in greater need than myself. After a few months of stocking up on samples, I'm good on the perfume front for the rest of the year. 

By the way, if you ever wonder about the sizes of perfumes - you know, as in how many sprays you might get from a specific bottle size - check this handy guide.

Anyway, there you go, ladies (and gentlemen). There are options for us po' folk who like smelling delicious. Don't ever say I don't share info with you all.

(It took me a couple of days to write this one, guys. I hope it's coherent. My brain has been skipping school for the past week or so.)

Peace

--Free

DISCLAIMER: I'm not affiliated with any of the sites linked here. I am not offering business advice. This is purely a sharing of personal observations.

Are You Using Fragrantica?

 No? If you love perfume, you should be. 

(Check the images throughout this post for some of the Fragrantica features.)

Fragrantica is my best friend when it comes to perusing perfumes. When my best friend was alive, she was my fragrance guru. 

"Barbsie" became my fragrance guru about 3 weeks after we started working together. We were both known around work for how good we always smelled. (Not for how great we were at our jobs, mind you, though we both were!) We kind of bonded over our love of perfume and purses. She had collections of both that were enviable.

One day I mentioned that really wished I could find something that was as soft as my signature scent, Shalimar, but with more of a chocolate and caramel scent to it. Without blinking or missing a beat in her typing, she said, "Angel." The next time I saw her, she brought me one of her half-used bottles (she said she had a few!).

She was so right about Angel. I have not worn it in 20 years now but, back in the day, it was a staple. It smelled like Shalimar took a nibble of chocolate, and then had a big chunk of caramel before following it up with a few sips of a vanilla shake. It would have been my signature but I was loyal to Shalimar at the time. I wore Angel on the weekends to save my Shalimar for workdays.

These days, I (and my body chemistry) have matured past a lot of easy perfume choices. When it comes to reacting to any fragrance, my skin is moody. One day, I love all things honey, vanilla, and musk, and the next day, I want to smell like baby powder and new tissue paper.

For months now, I've been wanting to find something oil-based that I can love and wear mostly year-round. I thought I'd found it in Auric Blends Egyptian Goddess oil. It's lovely and I do enjoy wearing it but it gets on my nerves some days. It's like a person you are really fond of but their personality just hits you wrong sometimes and you try avoiding them. Also, the formula is not consistent. I have 2 bottles and one is much more fragrant.

Anyway. As I started saying before my mind went off on a road trip, Fragrantica is my favorite place for checking out perfumes, whether I'm buying or just browsing for fun. Such a large variety of fragrances can be found there and I really like having an idea of which notes a scent is based on. Mostly, I rely on the reviews. The people in the review section do not pull their punches. Sometimes, I get really excited about a perfume only to see someone's warning not to try it unless I want to smell like something your poor dog chucked up after it ate a whole roll of mint-flavored antacids. I think one review said something like, "Smells like an old lady. Not an elegant older lady with taste but like an old lady wearing an unchanged Depends and loving it." Damn.

Recently though, I did find a perfume oil that is going to be a part of my life for as long as it smells as lovely as it does right now. It is Madagascar Vanilla from NEST New York. My country bumpkin behind had not heard of NEST before seeing this oil on Fragrantica. And this oil is indescribably wonderful on my skin. You can see the Frangantica page for it here. Apparently, I need to start adding coconut to my list of favored notes.

What I really like about Fragrantica is that you can search for perfumes in so many ways. If you know what notes you like or if you're looking for something similar to a perfume you like, etc. For instance, when I wondered what might be a bit like the Madagascar Vanilla but a bit more affordable (because, honey chile, I can only afford that one in samples & decants!), I got several suggestions to check out. Most of them are super-affordable.

One other thing to like about Fragrantica is that it shows the year a fragrance was launched. That's important to some people. It's only important to me because I know that if a perfume has been discontinued, even if you can find it, it's probably going to be quite pricey.

Fragrantica has some downsides though. Since money is such an issue for most people, I wish there was a way to search within price ranges. Also, as I mentioned, the notes aren't always spot on. In a few cases, I noticed they weren't even close. And because I prefer checking reviews from people who actually use a fragrance, it would be nice to be able to comment on or reply to their posts. There is a forum but forums tend to be messy and unorganized. 

Overall though, Fragrantica is the best site I've found for getting info on various perfumes. There are similar sites. Here is a page for finding some of those sites. You can also search out other "competitors" of Fragrantica. 

r/Perfumes  on Reddit is where I go to ask for suggestions on perfume dupes, pricing, decant and sampling sites, etc. This is where I learned about using eBay for finding rarities, vintages and fragrances. It's thanks to a great seller on eBay that I was able to score several samplers. This is how I found tiny bottles of Madagascar Vanilla (that, in total, equal a 6ml travel-size vial) for around 18 bucks instead of paying almost $40 - or almost $100 or 30ml. And I'm pretty sure the samples came from a NEST liquidation from the way they are labeled and marked...

perfectly sized for a
small purse.

So, yeah, if you are into fragrances, you might want to be into Fragrantica. 

By the way, the Frangantica page for a fragrance will link to a seller search page - eBay, Amazon, or some other site. It doesn't always land right, but, there ya go.

Peace

--Free

**CROSSPOST** A Rebel Without A Clue (or How Evil Succeeds )

 **CROSSPOST**

 For years, I have heard many theories about evil. Some of them assume that greedy and controlling governments are out to enslave the rest of us. Some assume that there is a war between the rich and poor, the Haves and Have Nots. Some assume that there are supernatural forces at war.

Of those A, B, and C choices, if asked, my answer would be D: all of the above.

Think of what has been said about the Devil's greatest trick. I always heard the first quote but only heard the other in the past few years.

“The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist”—Charles Baudelaire

I always thought that was the most correct until I heard this one: 

“The second greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he is the good guy”—Ken Ammi”

 Ah! That's the one that fits the world we live in today.

I wonder if it isn't highly moral (and "believers in a higher power") people to whom the first quote most applies and Atheists and evolutionists (highly moral or not) to whom the second applies.

One thing is for sure, Satan was smart about splitting people into different camps. He pits people of differing worldviews against one another.

As a Christian, I find unloving criticism to be an easy trap to fall into. When I hear evolutionists so glibly talk their language - about millions of years and evolving humanity - I have to sometimes grit my teeth. I'm sure that they feel the same way about my beliefs.

So the Devil's greatest trick is taking our eyes and thoughts off of the "big picture". He has us seeing and thinking in a compartmentalized way. We see issues in society or politics or education or finances as separately ruled. We see black and white and American or European or Asian, Indian (American and Eastern). We see our struggles as a group or race or nation - not as a whole and connected human existence.

All the issues that concern us as the groups we divided ourselves into are part of one big puzzle - or maybe all individual pieces on one big gameboard. While we focus on the one pixel, Satan is seeing a very clear picture of how to keep us fighting battles among ourselves.

But as slick as that trick is, Satan has one that is slicker: he has convinced people that he has a chance to come out on top in the end. And many, many people fall into his camp.

Smart.

As smart as Satan is, he has been losing the war from the beginning. As a matter of fact, to quote lyrics from one of my favorite songs, he is fighting a battle that has already been won. Why? Because those on the side of the Lord are redeemed.

Here's the thing, whether people choose to follow Satan or not, that's not the end of their personal stake. If they don't choose the victor, they fall into the lap of the lose (Satan) anyway. 

And Satan does not work under one guise. He comes in many forms. He's every god that is not God. He's god that tells you you can save yourself with your good works. He's the one that says that as long as you are not a murderer or adulterer or fill-in-the-blank-sinner, you are safe. He's the one that tells you it's okay to serve him and whatever other god you choose.

Satan is a disease that infects every good thing that we were given. Patient Zero was Eve. Since then, whatever we are given to enjoy, he bleeds in like a parasite.

Whatever we have that is beautiful, he infects it to induce feelings of self-worship and lust and aggression. Music, art, literature - all of it can be pure and beautiful.

When I was very young, I remember hearing a concerto on record. I didn't understand music or music theory. I just thought that the lush sounds of the instruments playing together were so amazing. That music made me feel indescribably peaceful and happy. Not more than 5 or 6 years later, I heard a song that made me feel lustful and yearning. I didn't understand the meaning of the lyrics so I'm not sure why the song affected me in such a way. The song was "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye.

Think about David soothing Saul with the music of the harp. Now think about how music is used today to hypnotize and drug people. I wouldn't doubt that for most people born before there was the internet music was probably the gateway into a lot of physical sin.

Just as music soothed Saul, I have had music make me feel aggressive. I suppose that is why generations of protestors and activists have their music. Hippie/Folk music, Black Power/Black is Beautiful music, Neo-Nazi/Skinhead music. One kind of music to make you chill out, check out, get stoned, and get "free" (with sex). One kind of music to amp you up, make you "proud", make you get up offa "that thing". One kind of music to get you marching and fighting and killing, maybe.

Literature - as the art of conveying and expressing, of telling stories to entertain. That becomes words on a page to make you feel some sexual thrill or teach you new things about the thrills or make you not feel alone in the sexual thrills you enjoy.

Movies - literature set to moving pictures - has become a medium to induce some kind of pride - of gender, nationalism, race or culture. It's the medium once used to make "stars" of some people and fans (fanatic) of others. Movies made smoking look cool and fashionable. Movies took sex - of all kinds - out of the privacy and exclusivity of the sacred marital bed. Movies took the "sacred" out of sex.

News media and advertising conditioned and guided our daily decisions about everything from food to money to parenting. It tells us what is right or wrong - regardless of morals and propriety. It feeds us information it wants us to have instead of what is useful. It skews our ideas about politics and justice.

All of these things put a lot of power into the hands of a few. Power of entertainment, information, and lifestyle guidance.

When you have time to travel down some deep and winding rabbit holes, go and read up on a few things for yourself. I can suggest some starting places:

• Edward Bernaise and why we eat bacon and eggs for breakfast.
• Music's effect on the brain. Music's effects on plants and sand and water.
• This from Truthstream Media on the subliminal messages some of us were subjected to for years.
• Go search out other subliminal messages.
• To see just how much the Satanist Aleister Crowley has affected today's culture, check out the book "Children of the Beast" by William Ramsey.
• Do a search on how the Nazis incorporated black magic and the occult into their ranks.
• Look up something called "Lucifer Publishing Company", Lucis Trust, and what it has to do with the United Nations and education curriculums.
• Look into the origins of Planned Parenthood and the eugenics and racism behind it.

I suggested some of these searches simply to get you to get used to looking up information of things. We are a society with a lot of "surface knowledge" of things - like being familiar with a name or brand - without having any idea about the origins of such. I know people who consider themselves extremely racially proud but are clients of Planned Parenthood. 

For years, before I was saved, Huey Newton was a hero of mine. It wasn't until I got past all the hype that I realized his communist connections. I was a rebel without a clue.

Peace

--Free

P.S.: forgive any sloppy spelling or grammar. It took me hours and hours over 3 days to get this written and I am too tired to do any more editing. My brain is having one of its days...

A Big, Beautiful Belated Gift!

 As you have read here, I lost my very best friend earlier this year. There are days when I still go to dial her number before I realize that I can't talk to her. In the middle of a recent night, I woke up from a dream about her. I couldn't remember the details but we were sitting together somewhere, talking and giggling like kids. I woke up still smiling but then sat up the rest of that night, crying and depressed.

This birthday was my first without her and in September I won't get to call her and do my silly-girl rendition of the Happy Birthday song. I used call her and sing (this is me so calling it "singing" is  hilarious!) in the style of Whitney or Cyndi Lauper or - and this was fun - Prince. She loved it and she would rate me 1 to 10 on style, vocal range, and lyrics (because I always threw in some made-up lyrics).

So I was missing my friend when another friend who I haven't heard from in a really long time called. "Fawn" tracked me down through that evil Fakebook and got my number by tracking down another friend. We all used to work together waaaay back in the day. It was so awesome to talk to someone I knew when we were both younger and sillier. She'd known my mother and sister and I'd met her when her daughter was just starting elementary school. 

Fawn and I spent a couple of hours talking. She's just come through another rough time in life. We talked about that and about happy things, then we talked about the people that Death has snatched away from us. There was one person we both were especially close to when the three of us worked together. I had to break the sad news that I only just found out this year that he too passed away a couple of years ago. It was sad to talk about but it was comforting to do so with someone who also liked him so much. 

Sometimes, you have to talk to someone else to get a sense of tim e and reality in relation to your own existence. As we talked, Fawn texted me some recent photos of her "little" girl and it was easy to forget that I was looking at her granddaughter and not the daughter I once knew. 

We have of course friended each other on Fakebook but she's on there about as often as I am. So now we are to stay in touch via emails, calls, and texts. She might even come to visit me soon.

Before we hung up, I told her for probably the tenth time how glad I am that we have reconnected and then she said something very sad. She said that she was also glad because she was tired of trying to make reconnections too late. Like me, she had not known about that one friend who passed. When I told her about my best friend's death back in February, she was shocked and we realized that the last time we'd been in touch was when I was staying with my best friend. They'd not known each other very well but I'd been the brief bridge between them.

One of the best stories Fawn and I recalled was about going to Anchorage's famous Chilkoot Charlie's. I was staying away from hard liquor and got drunk off beers that kept magically appearing in front of us. I didn't even know you could get drunk off beers! When we were done for the night, I was teetering across the lot in four-inch heels to go lock up my car before calling us a taxi. Sober, I could walk on ice in any kind of shoe but I was not sober that night. At some point, I missed a step and slid damn near four or five feet. I almost kept my balance. Almost. When I hit the ground, my skirt slid up around my waist and I had gravel burns on my butt. Other than that the only thing hurting was my pride. Good thing I wasn't hurt because Fawn could barely help me up for laughing and sliding around in her own heels. I'd hit the ground so hard I think I sobered up.

Fawn and I have quite a few good stories. Funny stories and ones about near-tragic happening and ones about work. Oh, the stories we have about working as customhouse brokerage employees...

Reconnecting with someone can be a lift to the spirit. After I talked to "Fawn" I realized how much we all need our connections. I'm set in my ways and tend to joke that I don't have the time, energy or patience for new friends. That is true but it sure was wonderful to find an old friend. We have texted each other probably 30 times since we talked that day. Just getting a "Hey sis, how're you?" text in the middle of the day makes me feel better. And I loved sending her a text last night to ask her to mail me her lemon cake recipe. She once made me the best lemon cake I have ever tasted.

If I never use Fakebook again, this is one time I was thankful for it. I don't use social media for deep friendships - if that is even possible. Letting someone see you only at your cutest or when you have all your sh** together is not friendship. Pretending to someone that everything in your world is beautiful at all times is not friendship. And I'm sure it's tiring. That's got to be like getting married and trying to never let your partner see you sick or catch you tugging at your bra. Tiring. And inauthentic. I was tempted to marry a man once because he washed my hair and helped me into the bath after I'd caught a stomach bug and threw up all over his floor.

Not to beat y'all over the head with the Bible but...
this is good stuff.

When you know and trust someone enough to tell them things that you can never tell anyone else, that is friendship. When someone's text can make you feel better, that is connection. When someone is there when you are burying your mother, that is friendship. Fawn was there for me even when we were miles apart during some really major moments in my life. I was there for her moments. How the hell did we ever lose touch? I don't care. We found each other again.

There is a passage in the Book of Job, that, to me, speaks of real friendship. 

Then they sat down on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights with no one speaking a word to him, for they saw that his pain was very great. (Job 2:13)

That is the kind of friend I want to always be and the kind of friends I have had. To just be there, not having to speak but to just be present in some way.

So, even though I've blogged a lot lately about all the fun shopping I did for my birthday (and am still getting gifts from my big and beautiful family), hearing from Fawn is my favorite gift this year. My prayer is for everyone to have at least one good and true and loyal friend. And remember to call them, text them, or shout into the other room how much you love them. Do it while you can. Just this month, while a niece and I marked our birthdays, we lost another member of our extended family. I'm so glad he got to come home to say his goodbyes.

Peace

--Free

(The Follow-up) To Cut or Not To Cut

 It has been several days now and, let me tell you, I am loving this short hair I'm rocking. Well, I am loving it now...

The first couple of days after making the final cut, I was a bit manic and bi-polar about what I'd done with my hair. I'd love it for 10 minutes, then I'd be Googling "how to make a wig look like it's your own hair" and "are weaves hard on your natural hair?"

Thankfully, I adjusted to being so close-cropped. Now I don't know if I will ever go back to longer hair. There are pros and cons to either style.

• I can easily twist longer hair. Twisting elongates my curls and produces a variety of styles.
• I can easily make thicker Bantu knots with longer hair. I love wearing Bantu knots. It was the best way I stayed a bit cooler during the hottest weather before, you know, I CUT OFF ALL MY FREAKING HAIR. 
• I could pull my longer hair back and/or up with bands and clips when I was lazy about styling. Or, for a cute style,  I could twist my hair into rows halfway and pull the rest into a band.
• Hair this short is perfect for lazy people.
• With this short hair, I can still make Bantu knots. They are tiny but not bad-looking. I can also separate and twist my hair into rows but I have to secure and lock down the ends with metallic clips.
• I can style my short hair in more ways than I thought I'd be able to. I can smooth it down on one side or, if I want, smooth all of it down with some holding gel. That's a tricky look to pull off though. Do it wrong and you look like you're wearing shoe polish on your head or like a cat's been licking your hair.
• Sleeping on my short hair is a, um, dream compared to when it was longer. I don't have to worry about my short hair being so mashed out of shape in the morning. I can get up, spray in a little conditioner and get on with life.
• My short hair requires a lot less touching up during the day. There is not enough of it to get messy or for the wind to blow. 
• Shorter hair makes my gray now look more interesting and pretty and not just distracting.

Yeah. I can get down for a while with this short look. I did have to go back several times and snip off some of the stray pieces that I missed the first few times. I think I have it evenly cropped now.

(My cousin asked why this bottom pic looks like a graduation pose! LOL)

I am also pleased that I didn't have to buy any styling products right away. I'm such a product junkie as is that I found what I needed in the bathroom pantry.

I need this curl cream to
get back into stock somewhere soon...
It's amazing.

I think I really needed this big chop. To be honest, my hair did need this. What little hair is left on my head is so soft and healthy. No more damaged sections to hide or split ends to worry about. I don't even have to detangle it after washing. There is not enough of it to tangle! And when I said that sleeping on it is a dream...

The first night I went to bed with the new cut, I was a little lost. I didn't need to spend half an hour putting styling my hair into twists or worry about not twisting it and having to pull it back with a ponytail holder. Nope, none of that. I just... laid down and went to sleep.

That next morning, the only reason I needed to use a conditioning spray was that one side of my hair was flatter than the other. Also, the spray just smells so dang good.

And, guess, what? It was so much cooler today with this short hair -  even though temps got to over 86 degrees. That sounds lovely and would be if the humidity didn't shoot up to 73%. There are days we hit 90 degrees and 80% humidity.

When I feel up to it, I will practice doing some Bantu knots and twist-outs or twist rows. It may not look like there is enough hair left to work with but go look up something called "natural hair shrinkage". Some of the photos are hilarious but true. Your jaw will hit the ground.

Anyway. The cut is here and happening. And maybe shorter hair is the way to go now that I'm over 60? ~shrug~ Watch me if I don't get a t-shirt that says "Short Hair, Don't Care"! 

Peace

--Free

UPDATE - I had to take a photo for a family album the other day. I did both filtered and"natural" shots (I was trying to slide my age back a couple of years!). I thought I would share some just because my hair is growing out and I wanted y'all to see the progress.

I don't know why I look wasted.
I was just tired, not high...

One of my brothers asked
why I look so mean in
photos. What?!?!?

P.S.: For days after writing this follow-up, I was still snipping off stray strands. Every time I stopped to admire myself in a mirror, I'd see one or two little hairs that needed scissoring... I have a feeling that it will be a week or more before I have this short 'do totally neat and cleaned up! But I do love it, yes, I do.

Uh Oh, I Discovered eBay...

Sometimes one thing happens that works out really well with another thing that happens. The first thing that happened was that I got another one-size-fits-all check for my birthday. I seem to have family and friends who know that I am hard to shop for... So, I got a nice little check. I'm not mad.

The next thing that happened was that I made a new online buddy. She is smart and witty and fun. She immediately corrupted me. Immediately.

Let us stop for a moment and mourn G+.  It was such a place to meet acquaintances who share your likes and dislikes. And without all the posing that happens on Fakebook. No one pretended they were ever going to be friends in real life, most of us liked the anonymity of having online-only relationships. If you were into photography, you could find like-minded folk. I'm into blogging and there were a ton of bloggers on G+. Too bad it's long gone...

Anyway, I like Reddit (most of the time) a lot less than G+ but a lot more than Fakebook. And it was while I was on Reddit that the second thing happened. I was in a perfume forum, looking for help in finding affordable vintage perfumes. I'd gotten a suggestion from someone to go vintage for longer-lasting and nicer-smelling fragrances. There was something said about them often getting better with age. So I asked around on Reddit and the best response I got was from - let's call her "JB". 

JB's advised me to try eBay for finding vintage items. I said I didn't know how to use eBay. JB said it was easy. I went to eBay. JB is right. eBay is super easy. And now I am addicted.

I'm not yet addicted to buying everything I see but I already have a "watch list" a mile long. I really love being able to search for things so specifically. I don't like to pay for shipping and I would like free returns. I also love being able to check out the seller ratings and choosing from several other filters. It's so much better than Amazon and it absolutely is cheaper.

The other week, I bought a cheap bottle of Emeraude from Amazon. I think I paid less than 12 bucks for it. It is so weak that I would have been upset at paying half that...

Over on eBay, my first search was for "vintage Emeraude" (filters: under $10, free shipping, free returns). I also learned quickly to check those seller profile ratings. And BOOM, I found: 

" 'VINTAGE' EMERAUDE" BY COTY - SPRAY MIST .75 OUNCE BOTTLE - 90 % FULL"

The price? $7.99

Um, what??? 

I almost snapped a cap off my keyboard ordering that one. Not more than 4 hours later, I get a notice that the item has been shipped.

Once again - WHAT?

So I have to thank JB (who also is on Fragrantica as I am) but I had to self-impose some eBay rules on myself: 

• Never spend more than $30 (s/h included) for perfume.
• Never spend more than $15 on clothing.
• Never shop there more than twice a month - unless in an emergency situation, such as needing an outfit for a wedding or something like that.

I think I will be fine now. As a matter of fact, I realized that if I buy all my hair care and clothing, and household decor from eBay instead of Amazon, I'll be ahead of the game. The thing I like most is being able to only choose items that have free shipping and free returns. That's better than Prime because, with eBay, a bad seller doesn't win. Your ratings have more impact - and there is a money-back guarantee. With Amazon, there's not always a choice of sellers and perfumes usually cannot be returned.

Now, keep in mind that I was able to break my twice-a-month rule when I got my other birthday check. I will keep you informed on the goodies later.

So, thanks a lot JB. You seem to be my kind of gal but I'm going to remember that it was you who turned me on to eBay!

Peace

--Free

 

The Magic Money Trick

This post should be titled "The Disappearing Money Trick". 

Funniest & truest meme 
I've seen

Money doesn't come and go around here, it comes and evaporates. Or something. Here's what's happening now... 

I managed to get through my birthday without shopping myself broker than usual. I even managed to save a few bucks because I didn't have to re-order some of my household items. Also, one of my brothers always gives money for gifts because, you know, it's the best color and size and fits any wallet.

Well, Satan must know when I have the slightest chance of having extra money because he will gunk up the works for me. Once, I had a bunch of unexpected (and un-insured) medical bills that I had to pay off. Another time, I lost a box of the extra contacts I had just when my prescription expired. How did I lose a box of contacts? You got me. I'm starting to think there's a mystery triangle somewhere in this apartment because that's not the first time I have weirdly lost something...

Every dang time I get two steps ahead, I end up moonwalking back ten steps. 

So, this time I had some saved money and some birthday money. I will give myself some credit that really belongs to my mother who taught me how to make a dollar out of fifteen cents. As broke as I am, I have "excellent" credit and last time I checked, I was rocking a 788 score. I am frugal without being cheap - because I have to be.

Anyway, where was I going with that? Oh yeah, I have been saving up to buy a real sofa (to replace the futon I never sit on) but instead, I was going to buy some new bath towels and bed sheets. I have a few decent sets of sheets for myself and one really nice set for guests only. But bath towels? The only ones that match and still look good are the ones on the racks. I don't touch those, not even to dry my hands. I haven't even moved them since I hung them on the racks. So, yeah I need some new linen closet stuff.

But guess what? The old Dragon must have seen my search history and decided I don't need new linens. Instead, he must think I would rather have to buy a new computer. Not a new coffeepot or a new fan or a new anything I can get from a Dollar General.

I don't have any new computer money. At least not like what I spent on this one. However, this one just came from under the warranty about two weeks ago so, of course, it's acting a fool. Actually, it started acting silly a few months ago but Dell was no help. I suppose in their view, I have a credit line with them that I haven't used in two and half years so I should dip into that to replace my battery. That's not going to happen. What happened to be able to easily remove and replace the battery yourself? And, on top of the battery having an attitude, the screen is glitching. I have not dropped this thing or treated it with anything but love and this is how it acts?

Since I don't want to mess with the Dell credit line - and maybe not even Dell  at all after this - and I just cannot afford another laptop like this one, I had to go bargain hunting. 

Woot! is a decent place to find bargains in almost any category. You have to put in some work though. There are great bargains, some decent bargains, and some should-I-or-shouldn't-I bargains. It took a couple of days, but I did manage to find a new laptop in my price range but I am worried about whether or not I chose a good one.

What I decided on is an HP 255 G8 with a 15.6" with these quick specs:

AMD Athlon Gold 3150U CPU, 8GB RAM, 256GB SSD, Windows 10 Home 

It's not a Chromebook, a refurb, or an unboxed item - like every other non-Apple laptop was - so I was able to get a cheap additional warranty for it. Still... 

I paid around $170 less than list and $200 or so less than some other sites were asking for it. In my desperation for something with enough storage and a decent brand name, I was afraid to hesitate for fear I'd miss out. And I might have been just a tiny bit wooed by the fact that it has a numeric keypad. It sounds like a small thing but you try having my brain and paying bills without a numeric keypad.

Anyway, I snagged it the spent the next few hours trying to find reviews and feedback about it. That's not easy because there are so many variations on the model. Some come with Intel chips or have a whole other setup. My brain is not in the best shape this week so I can't handle all that. I didn't want to ask my brothers to help me in the search because they'd just buy it and I don't want that.

Anyway, I bought the thing.  I figure if I really hate it, I have 30 days to return it for a full refund (minus shipping). And - this is really important - the credit card I used has a special payment plan for purchases over a certain dollar amount.

But still. 

Did I make a good choice? Am I going to regret getting this particular model? Should I have paid more for something better? 

I suppose I will find out soon enough. In the meantime, this Dell is having a couple of other issues that make me regret what I paid for it. So the HP budget model might not be such a bad deal after all. I don't need anything fancy. As long as I can get on the internet, do some tele-med appointments, pay bills, and blog I will be fine.

On the plus side of the money front (and I surely hope Satan ain't listening in on this), I haven't had to replace my cell phone for almost exactly 5 years. It still looks good and works great... I'm telling you, if you take decent care of a Samsung, they just won't die. Of course, they do eventually stop getting updates but I can worry about that another time!

Now I have to go and do some budgeting acrobatics just in case I need coffee and bread anytime soon.

Peace

--Free

P.S.: While I am always a little wallet-light and like to joke about that, I am still so blessed. I just like trying to laugh about how life sometimes is. I am thankful for everything I have, truly. I am eating and housed and clothed. Let's all count our blessings, big and small.

**CROSS POST** The Most Serious Thought Experiment

 I wanted to share this post from my other blog. 

Take some time with this. Take this opportunity to think deeply about this most important thing. 

Imagine that you just died. Now imagine Eternity.

 Maybe you were important enough that the news broke into regular programming. Maybe you were so forgotten on earth that there was no obituary at all. Maybe those of us still alive don't even know that you have died. 

Now you stand before God, facing eternity.

God only asked that you forsake other "gods" and idols. He asked that you believe. He gave you proof of His being. You could look around at nature and the wonders of life and know that He is. 

Maybe you didn't hear about Jesus but you knew that everything that is did not come from nothing. You saw a newborn child, opening their eyes for the first time to see this world. You watched that child come out of the womb, knowing how to breathe and think and wonder. You saw the child learn language and numbers and time. Maybe that told you of God.

Maybe you did hear about Jesus. Maybe you knew and believed but you never finished reading the Bible so you didn't get every detail of what he sacrificed. Maybe you did.

Maybe you were of a brilliant mind and studied the maths and sciences. Maybe you decided that you didn't believe in God because of all that you learned. Maybe you decided that there is a God because of all that you learned.

Maybe you were never very smart. Maybe you never learned to read or write or count. But maybe you still knew of God. 

Maybe you were wealthy and privileged to enjoy every material thing. Maybe you were only well off, or comfortable, or maybe you were poor. 

Maybe you woke up every day, healthy and eager to live. Maybe you struggled with depression or pain or all manner of suffering.

Maybe you were loved by a lot of people, celebrated and lauded and envied. Maybe you just went through life as one of the many people who garner no special attention.

Maybe you were beautiful or handsome; tall and thin, big and robust; shapely and attractive; short and stumpy; ugly of face and plain of body. Maybe you were deformed or crippled or blind or mentally challenged. 

Maybe you were always happy or always sad or just simply living with no expectations of this world.

Maybe you were a good person - generous and kind and loving. Maybe you were a great father, son, wife, husband, or daughter. Maybe you fed the hungry and clothed the poor. 

Maybe you went to church often. Maybe you served in the church you attended. Maybe you never cursed, smoked, drank, took drugs, committed adultery or committed sexual sins. Maybe you were more "moral" and upright than most people who claim to be Christians. 

Maybe you were a good Buddist or Hindu or Muslim or Mormon or Roman Catholic. Maybe you were a committed Mason, Scientologist, or a non-affiliated member of society.  Maybe you never ate meat. Maybe you obeyed all the laws. Maybe you were a good citizen.

Maybe people respected you in your career. Maybe you invented life-saving equipment; discovered life-saving medicines; or found new ways to help people live healthier. 

Maybe you conquered the world with your voice or your intellect or your cunning. Maybe you were charismatic or ruthless or powerful or a titan. 

Maybe you never did anything outstanding or special. Maybe you were un "under-achiever", a "loser", a "slacker", a "drain on society". 

Maybe you traveled the world and saw every wonder on earth. Maybe you slept in fine hotels and dined on meals prepared for royalty. Maybe your home was palatial and luxurious. Maybe cars and airplanes sat ready at your command. Maybe you lived on the streets or ate from charity, or wore clothes thrown out by others. 

Maybe you donated money to open libraries and schools and maybe your name is on buildings of good reputation. 

Maybe you shouted praise from the rooftops or whispered prayers in your heart. Maybe you cursed God eloquently or defied him in the dark.

Back among the living, some might be wishing that you rest in peace. But they can't be sure. But you will know. Eternally.

Some might be wishing that you had a moment to ask forgiveness. But they can't be sure. But you will know. Forever.

Some might believe that they know you are safely in a peaceful rest. But they can't be sure. But you will know. Always.

No one can be sure what is in your heart but God. The God you believe in or the God you rejected? The God you challenged or the God you prayed to? The God you chose or the God you turned away from?

No one here on earth can be sure. But you and God will know because whoever you were, you are now dead. And you stand before God, facing eternity.

Will you be thankful for the rest you have earned? Will you be frightened of the consequences of your beliefs? 

You are dead and facing eternity. What will your eternity consist of?

For those of us still alive, we have time - if only this very moment - to think and to be sure. 

Don't reject what you haven't carefully considered. Don't turn away from what you cannot dismiss with certainty. Don't discard out of anger or hatred. Don't dismiss what frightens you without knowing why it frightens you. Know why. Think, think, think, and consider.

No matter what your life is among the living, your eternity is coming. Every day that you live, prepare to be eternally not among the living. The choice you make while you still can choose will be with you for all of the rest of time. 

As you live this part of your existence, prepare for the next part - the eternal part - that is coming.

There is nothing but the blood of Jesus that will be your eternal salvation and mind. Nothing - not a priest, a church, a parent or child; not your career or talent or wealth; not your looks or abilities; not your fame or notoriety; not your social connections; not your good works; not lighting candles or praying to saints; not sitting in a confessional or being blessed by some man or woman. 

Are you sure? Of what you believe or not believe in? Are you absolutely certain? Are you willing to stake all eternity on your choice?

Peace

--Free

P.S.:  It occurs to me that, as I was writing this, deaths were occurring. Deaths are always occurring. Think about that. You or I could be next.

I am praying that everyone takes the time to consider their life and their coming death. Many of us are afraid to think about our deaths. We don't want to think about what death will mean to us. We will think about what our death means to those we leave behind before we think about what we are dying into. 

We buy burial insurance and make wills and choose where and whether our bodies will be in the ground, crypt or urn. Our families will have to write an obituary or arrange a wake or memorial of funeral service. Someone will have to clean and dress our dead bodies, comb our hair, apply makeup, and make us presentable for viewing - or ready us from cremation and disposal. But that is just the flesh and bone of what is left of us.

The essential part of what we are, the part that lives on - that is the most important part. What plans have we made for that?

Please take the time to ready yourself for the biggest part of existence, what I think of as the "forever and ever" part.

To Cut or Not To Cut (Hair, That Is) UPDATE

 I am writing this post on my birthday. I will post it when I decide whether or not to cut my hair. That might be when I finish writing it.

This morning, I freaked out one of my neighbors when she saw my full, uncurled, untamed, unabashed afro. I got up early to mess with my hair when I realized I'd need to take out the garbage because of the holiday pickup schedule. Well, if you could have seen the look on that sweet little lady's face...

She has only ever seen me with my hair tamed with products or naturally wavy or twisted into spiral curls. This freaking Angela Davis afro made her stutter.

I have often been amazed myself the few times I have iron-straightened my hair or blown it out with a dryer. I just don't like putting heat in my hair. And I'm lazy. It's easier to wash my hair and twist-style it or slap on some products and let it dry into its own curl pattern. SO much easier. 

Still, I have been thinking about making my hair care routine even easier. If I cut it short enough, I can just style it by wetting in and rubbing in some good curl cream. On the other hand, if I don't cut it short enough, I will have to work harder to style it. Such a dilemma.

So I am sitting here, holding my scissors, knowing that once I start cutting, I'm going to have to commit. That or turn a crazy half-cut 'fro into a new look.

Years ago, when I wore my hair relaxed, I got a bad batch of product and had to get my hair cut so short you could see my thoughts. I mean, I had to go to a barber. That's because I knew a barber could do a really short cut better than I could. (I've almost always been my own hairstylist. I don't trust anyone else.) I had left work with a medium bob cut and went back on Monday looking like my daddy. SO much like my daddy. The last time I chopped my hair was back in 2015 after my sister passed. I went to visit my niece in Dallas and she put in some braids before I left for home again. But that short style wasn't really that bad.

I haven't been this thin in a while!

Of course, back when I got the barber cut I was under 100 pounds wet and on a full stomach. Of course, I looked like my taller, thinner daddy. These days though, I'm packing enough middle-age weight that I will still look like a woman even rocking a razor-short cut. But let's not get carried away here...

If I do go short-short, I might as well do something to highlight all this grey that's been playing peek-a-boo. 

This is so stressful. And why? It's just hair. 

Maybe I'm reluctant to do a big chop because I'm worried my hair won't grow back. This methotrexate I'm on has been kind so far - to my hair, that is. I haven't had a lot of thinning except for my eyebrows, and I've been on this nasty medicine for a long time. A lady in an online support group told me that she started losing her hair almost within a month of starting methotrexate. Maybe the folic acid I take helps? Prednisone on the other hand... My hair and skin were never more glorious when I was fat and dosed up on something like 60mg of that demon drug.

Predni-ick. 
 I'd rather be bald, thanks.
But my double chin is cute as can be!

So, I am still sitting here, holding the scissors. Thinking. And looking for styling ideas. I do see some cute styles on this page but they are all too young-looking - or overly colorful - for my tastes.

Maybe I will just start with a really deep trim? That will make my hair look healthier, I suppose. Also, think of the money I will save on hair products.

But...

Nope. No cut for today. I will do a bit of a trim and see how I feel after that. But I am definitely thinking of going greyer.

Peace

--Free

65 HOURS LATER...

I went ahead and cut my hair. I figured what the hey. Plus, I could almost hear my best friend saying something like, "Go ahead, tusta girl. It's only hair."

I might go a bit shorter

I tried to brighten this to show the gray on the sides... 

I actually like it shorter. I noticed that my sides are where I am greyest and I like that too.

On a more serious note, when my SIL and I were looking at these pics, we noticed something else. My right eye opens wider when I am looking upwards and I can actually feel a difference. The left eye is more hooded at the corners. 

When I first got sick with this sarcoidosis, I looked stroked out because of the difference in one side of my face. I cannot remember for anything which side that was. My SIL and I think I will need to get in touch with my doctors to ask about this because she said that she has not noticed this before now. 

Oh, goodie. It looks like my 61st year is going to be as fun as my 50th!

Keep me in your prayers and I will post again if I do any more hair "trimming".

The Next Day...

I did a little more trimming and this time I was committed to the shortness!

I look grumpy but oh well

I like this final (?) cut. I need to get a better curl/shine cream though. Also...

DID I CUT OFF ALL MY FREAKING HAIR?????

Just kidding. I like the cut and caring for it will be easier. It's too humid here for all that naturally kinky-curly hair. Short and kinky-curly is the game for a while.