Communi-fusion!

I need to know that I am not the only one who has this problem:

There is someone very close to me (the closest of anyone in the world), but we have the hardest time communicating.

When we talk and I say one thing, it's as though this person hears something completely different. I'm not sure if they really are NOT understanding me, or if they CHOOSE not to understand me.

I can say on Monday, "The sun is shining." On Tuesday, when it's raining, I can say, "It's raining today." On Thursday, another sunny day, when we are having an argument about the weather, and I say, "The sun is shining again," this person will say, "See, you lie. You said it was raining."

Huh?

Then we get into a worse argument because I find myself frustrated, trying to explain that I'm NOT lying when I say it's nice TODAY, but that it was raining on Tuesday. This person will go on and on about the time I did say it was raining. In the end, I start to feel like, well, damn, I MUST be lying because the person is right - I DID say at some point that it was raining and now here I am saying that the sun is shining...

Yeah.

I'm in Hell.

How do you fix such broken communication? How do you even START to fix it when those are the kinds of conversations that happen? (OK, the conversations are not really about the weather, but you know what I mean.)

It wasn't always like this. It just seems that when this person gets under the least bit of stress, wires get crossed and this is how we end up discussing anything.

I really, really need to figure out a solution to this. I've prayed about it, read books about it, and searched every way I can think of to communicate differently. Nothing has worked.

Anybody else ever deal with this kind of situation? Got any advice? And don't tell me to just walk away from this person. I can't. I love them too much. I just need to know how to deal with this or correct it so that I don't end up going nuts!

**SIGH**

Peace
--Free

Why the Health Chart...

I just posted a health chart that my aunt sent to me. One of the reasons I truly believe in the benefits of foods and herbal/vitamin supplements is because I have been my own "test rat!" LOL. Here is something that happened to me recently:

I woke up one morning at the end of last month with my right ankle slightly swollen and feeling sore. I joked on Facebook that I had managed to sprain my ankle in my sleep. That day and for the next day, my ankle remained sore and puffy. After a couple of days, the LEFT ankle started up. 

Both ankles got more and more swollen over the next few days. One of my nieces teased that I now had "cankles." That was funny for about 10 minutes, but gradually, my ankles hurt bad enough that I had trouble walking normally. My feet started to swell also. The skin felt feverish and was uncomfortable to the extent that I kept the covers off them at night.

Of course, I was starting to get worried.

Now, not having health insurance at the moment (and never having needed it before except for checkups, etc), I had to do my own research. Thank God for the Internet...

First, I searched on "swollen ankles," then I tried searching for information on "swollen ankles and feet," throwing in filters such as "causes of," "as symptom of," etc.  

I came up with different common possible causes: congestive heart failure, sprains, gout...

I can't remember right now just how I got to a page that put me on the right track, but: my chronic anemia (which I was aware of) was a possible cause. 

Apparently, my low iron level was the culprit. 

I was diagnosed as anemic when I was very young. Of course, when I was younger, I had my mother around to make sure I got the right foods to solve the problem: spinach, lima beans (yuck!), beef liver, beets and broccoli... All the foods kids just love, right? LOL... Mama even let me have sips of red wine (she'd heard about that being good for anemics) and she made sure that I was limited on "soda pop" and other sugary foods (I think the doctors gave her some reason to do that).

When I got older and more in control of my own diet (read that as "teenager"), I upped the bad foods (Mama didn't know about all the gallons of Dr. Pepper I was slurping!) and gradually got away from the "good" foods. When I really thought I was grown - yeah, you know! - I developed HORRIBLE eating habits. I was one of those "skinny heffas" who could eat three loaves of bread, deep-fried in butter and covered with a warm Snickers bar and lose more calories chewing that I did by eating the food.

And my problems began. 

I was constantly fatigued (and had fatiguing jobs!) and had miserable menstrual problems. I had trouble concentrating and my moods could be whoozy...

So. When I was around 35 or so, I started getting every cold and virus that went around. I was so tired that I felt like I was struggling just to get through the day. I went to the doctor who did blood work. When he got the results back, he was shook! He was scared to let me drive home. (Understand that I have a high fear of being hospitalized.) In lieu of going to the hospital, I promised the doctor that I would go home and get off my feet and IMMEDIATELY start the regimen of iron he put me on. He gave me some kind of shot and written instructions for taking the iron: something like 3 tablets three times a day for X amount of days, then 2 a day for X amount of days.... On and on until I was down to 1 tablet 3 times a day. ForEVER!!! He made me promise to come back for follow-up lab work in a few weeks and to call him if I felt anything out of whack.

Yeah, yeah, yeah...

I did take the iron pills. Well, okay - I took at least ONE of the at least ONCE a day. Mostly I just forgot. I think I lost the paper with the dosing instructions. LOL.

Fast forward to me being 49 and dealing with too much else in life to remember to take an aspirin if I had a headache, and... I let the anemia creep back in.

ANYway,

Because I do keep vitamins and herbal supplements on hand, and because I do actually take some of them, I did have iron pills around. Within ONE day of taking just TWO iron pills three times a day, the swelling in my ankles and feet started to abate. The pain was completely gone by the beginning of the third day. Now - it's been about a week and a half that I started the iron. All the pain is gone, most of the swelling is gone. All because I took my iron pills...

Here's the scary part (other than the fact that there are people with more serious health problems who can't go to a doctor...): Had I NOT figured out the problem. Had I just let this thing run its course, this is what could have progressed (according to the faq on womenshealth.gov):

What will happen if my anemia goes untreated?

Some types of anemia may be life threatening if not diagnosed and treated. Too little oxygen in the body can damage organs. With anemia, the heart must work harder to make up for the lack of red blood cells or hemoglobin. This extra work can harm the heart and even lead to heart failure.

Yeah. So I am a firm believer in doing what you can to look after yourself. Please talk to your doctor (if you have one), do your own research, ask questions and - most important of all - don't let things go to far when you even just THINK something might be wrong...

Here is the link to the post with the food chart.

Peace (and good health)

--Free

Health Chart

My Auntie J sent this to my email. I am a BIG believer in the health benefits of the right foods. Enjoy, please!

Apple s	Protects your heart	Prevents constipation	Blocks diarrhea	Improves lung capacity	Cushions joints
Apricots	Combats cancer	Controls blood pressure	Saves your eyesight	Shields against Alzheimer's	Slows aging process
Artichokes	Aids digestion	Lowers cholesterol	Protects your heart	Stabilizes blood sugar	Guards against liver disease
Avocados	Battles diabetes	Lowers cholesterol	Helps stops strokes	Controls blood pressure	Smoothes skin
Bananas	Protects your heart	Quiets a cough	Strengthens bones	Controls blood pressure	Blocks diarrhea
Beans	Prevents constipation	Helps haemorrhoids	Lowers cholesterol	Combats cancer	Stabilizes blood sugar
Beets	Controls blood pressure	Combats cancer	Strengthens bones	Protects your heart	Aids weight loss
Blueberries	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Stabilizes blood sugar	Boosts memory	Prevents constipation
Broccoli	Strengthens bones	Saves eyesight	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Controls blood pressure
Cabbage	Combats cancer	Prevents constipation	Promotes weight loss	Protects your heart	Helps haemorrhoids
Cantaloupe	Saves eyesight	Controls blood pressure	Lowers cholesterol	Combats cancer	Supports immune system
Carrots	Saves eyesight	Protects your heart	Prevents constipation	Combats cancer	Promotes weight loss
Cauliflower	Protects against Prostate Cancer	Combats Breast Cancer	Strengthens bones	Banishes bruises	Guards against heart disease
Cherries	Protects your heart	Combats Cancer	Ends insomnia	Slows aging process	Shields against Alzheimer's
Chestnuts	Promotes weight loss	Protects your heart	Lowers cholesterol	Combats Cancer	Controls blood pressure
Chili peppers	Aids digestion	Soothes sore throat	Clears sinuses	Combats Cancer	Boosts immune system
Figs	Promotes weight loss	Helps stops strokes	Lowers cholesterol	Combats Cancer	Controls blood pressure
Fish	Protects your heart	Boosts memory	Protects your heart	Combats Cancer	Supports immune system
Flax	Aids digestion	Battles diabetes	Protects your heart	Improves mental health	Boosts immune system
Garlic	Lowers cholesterol	Controls blood pressure	Combats cancer	Kills bacteria	Fights fungus
Grapefruit	Protects against heart attacks	Promotes Weight loss	Helps stops strokes	Combats Prostate Cancer	Lowers cholesterol
Grapes	Saves eyesight	Conquers kidney stones	Combats cancer	Enhances blood flow	Protects your heart
Green tea	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Helps stops strokes	Promotes Weight loss	Kills bacteria
Honey	Heals wounds	Aids digestion	Guards against ulcers	Increases energy	Fights allergies
Lemons	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Controls blood pressure	Smoothes skin	Stops scurvy
Limes	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Controls blood pressure	Smoothes skin	Stops scurvy
Mangoes	Combats cancer	Boosts memory	Regulates thyroid	Aids digestion	Shields against Alzheimer's
Mushrooms	Controls blood pressure	Lowers cholesterol	Kills bacteria	Combats cancer	Strengthens bones
Oats	Lowers cholesterol	Combats cancer	Battles diabetes	Prevents constipation	Smoothes skin
Olive oil	Protects your heart	Promotes Weight loss	Combats cancer	Battles diabetes	Smoothes skin
Onions	Reduce risk of heart attack	Combats cancer	Kills bacteria	Lowers cholesterol	Fights fungus
Oranges	Supports immune systems	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Straightens respiration
Peaches	Prevents constipation	Combats cancer	Helps stops strokes	Aids digestion	Helps haemorrhoids
Peanuts	Protects against heart disease	Promotes Weight loss	Combats Prostate Cancer	Lowers cholesterol	Aggravates  Diverticulitis
Pineapple	Strengthens bones	Relieves colds	Aids digestion	Dissolves warts	Blocks diarrhoea
Prunes	Slows aging process	Prevents constipation	Boosts memory	Lowers cholesterol	Protects against heart disease
Rice	Protects your heart	Battles diabetes	Conquers kidney stones	Combats cancer	Helps stops strokes
Strawberries	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Boosts memory	Calms stress
Sweet potatoes	Saves your eyesight	Lifts mood	Combats cancer	Strengthens bones
Tomatoes	Protects prostate	Combats cancer	Lowers cholesterol	Protects your heart
Walnuts	Lowers cholesterol	Combats cancer	Boosts memory	Lifts mood	Protects against heart disease
Water	Promotes Weight loss	Combats cancer	Conquers kidney stones	Smoothes skin
Watermelon	Protects prostate	Promotes Weight loss	Lowers cholesterol	Helps stops strokes	Controls blood pressure
Wheat germ	Combats Colon Cancer	Prevents constipation	Lowers cholesterol	Helps stops strokes	Improves digestion
Wheat bran	Combats Colon Cancer	Prevents constipation	Lowers cholesterol	Helps stops strokes	Improves digestion
Yogurt	Guards against ulcers	Strengthens bones	Lowers cholesterol	Supports immune systems	Aids digestion

Life-long Learning (links)

*****originally published 8//10 - I have not (yet) updated any links or info because I would like to hear from some of you first. Have any wonderful links to add to this list? If you do, please post them via comments here or on Google Plus. Someone was looking for this kind of info & I think we could all appreciate it. Thanks!*****


I don't usually do this: post info here that belongs on my other blog. But...

I know that some people who read this blog don't always check out my World Wide Wow blog (that's a new name for it, btw!),  and I want to do some shameless plugging for it, so I am posting some self-ed and career links here. If you are into life-long learning or need to refresh or up your skills, these links are for you. Enjoy!

• Learn Well - This one charges only for C.E. credits (in other words, you can learn free & only pay if you want/need credits). Nice, huh? Covers C.E. courses for RNs, Mft, LCSWs, MFCCs, Pharmacists, Dental Health Workers and others. (Don't get discouraged, keep reading the post for more links!)
• O.E.R.  (Open Educational Resources) - Here's how they explain their site: "In a brave new world of learning, OER content is made free to use or share, and in some cases, to change and share again, made possible through licensing, so that both teachers and learners can share what they know."  There are various subjects (Arts, Business, Humanities, Math & Stats, Science & Tech, Social Science) and different "grade" levels. Please explore.
• E-Learning Center - They offer free courses for  those interested in learning HTML, A+, MCSE, Excel and Office. (I see they also have many other courses listed on the homepage - for pay?) Check it out.
  
• English as a Second Language - is just exactly what the site is about. From the links on the page, I see there are "listen and speak" tools, podcasts and all sorts of goodies. Really cool & should be helpful to those interested.
• Free Ed - Nice site & covers LOTS of subjects. (Minor gripe: lots of ads make the site difficult to deal with, but, hey, it IS free, so...)
• Wanna Learn - good site, lots of topics. A little meandering since you have to find a subject, then wade through more links to narrow things down. But, again, it's free! LOL
• Open Learning Initiative - Whew! Can be a little intimidating at first glance, but please give it a shot. (First link I spotted was to a course in "Engineering Statics." I thought it was a typo! ROFL. Shows what I know.... There's a course in something called "Computational Discrete Mathematics" O...kay then... I guess if you understand that then you are smart enough to appreciate that it's free.
• Math.com - for those who aren't ready for computational discrete mathematics... LOL (like ME!)
• Wikiversity - Well, we all know how I just love anything "wiki-like!" This is the spot to choose your language preference. When I got to the English page, I noticed that there are supposed to be close to 13,000 learning resources. Wow.
• Creative Commons - I'm not sure how to describe this resource, so here's their take: "Creative Commons is a nonprofit corporation dedicated to making it easier for people to share and build upon the work of others, consistent with the rules of copyright." I do know that it's free and what really caught my eye is that they have MIT Open courseware available. Somebody has got to love that!
• G.C.F. Learn Free (Goodwill Community Foundation) - described as "your free learning source." The offerings listed on its homepage are for Everyday Life, Math & Money, Computer Training and Work & Career. Cool.

 

I think that may be enough for now (if not overload!), and I really hope you take a look at the full list on World Wide Wow. (I update that blog often as I can, but I think I'm going to have to take a free tutorial so that I can make it look nice and be a little more user-friendly. If anyone wants to volunteer to help a sistah out...!) Also, if you are looking for specific links on something, contact me & we'll see what we can do for ya.

Peace

--Free