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"He Said, She Said" (part 1 of a short story)

[This is a short story I am working on. Don't get too involved. I'm writing it on the fly and in pieces. Who knows how - or even if - it will conclude! Part 2 is here.]

He said, "You changed when we got married. You don't look, act, or love the way you did before."

She said, "You changed too. You don't say the things you did before or seem to care the same about how I look, act, or love."

Him: "How can you tell what I say? You don't listen."

Her: "I stopped listening when the sound of your voice started to annoy me."

Him: "See? You never talked to me like that when we were dating."

Her: "That's because you didn't annoy me the way that you do now."

They glared and stared, then walked off in different directions to let the silence heal the fury.

After some hours, She came into the room where He was watching television.

Her: "Are you calm enough to talk decently to me now?"

Him: "If you are calm enough to listen decently."

Her: (Taking on the suffering that she supposed being married required and managing to let this remart pass unchecked or, at least, only slightly checked with a tired sigh.) "You know, that's your problem. You're too bossy."

Him: "Well, hello there, Pot. My name is Kettle. Nice to meet you."

Her: "Is that how this conversation is going to go?"

Him: (Taking on the suffering that he supposed being married required and managing to let this remark pass unchecked or, at least, only slightlychecked with a roll of the eyes.) "I apologize."

Her: "Good. Now, first thing is, we need to get back to where we started. You know, back when you were courting me."

Him: (Having a momentary brain freeze because he had no recollection of a courtship. Fortunately, the freeze was brief. Unfortunately, the melt extended to his mouth.) "Courting you? Is that what you call your mother convincing my mother that you were such a great catch that the two of us should really get together?"

Her: (Giving Him a look that could have either started a new ice-age or melted the entire region of Siberia.) "What are you trying to say?"

Him: (Realizing that further words melting out of his mouth might cause a flood of damage that no mortal insurance would protect him from.) "I'm just trying to keep the story correct and true to history."

Her: "Well, let's stay true and correct to the fact that you obviously had no problem asking me out - not once, not twice, but three times before I even accepted." (She thought it was very mature of her that she managed not to huff with indignation at the end of this statement.)

Him: "Wait. What?"

Her: (She only bothered to answer his confusion with a patient look. Cold, but very patient.)

Him: (Almost defending his confusion with more objections, but remembering he was still without damage insurance and deciding not to write checks with his mouth that his body couldn't safely cash.) "I, uh... I just don't remember it exactly that way."

Her: "I not only remember, I can go through my journal if you want dates, times and content of the specific conversations."

Him: "Uh..." (And here is where he had to decide if he wanted to test the female skill in perfect recall of any event of romantic history - written, electronic or otherwise. He wisely chose not to.) "That's not the point, is it?"

Her:(Giving him a long and very meaninful look)

Him: (Realizing that the look is meaningful, and being a little frightened by the mystery of the possible meaning.)

Her: "Is it?"

Him: "Okay...." (He is still uncomfortable and unsure of where he might be venturing, but decides on the safest way to explore the landmines.) "So... What is the point?"

To be continued..


  1. I LOVE this style of writing. I laughed all the way through while still getting the message.

  2. Thanks @Marla Hughes! (Hopefully, I will be able to keep it going! LOL)


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