Attitude has a lot to do with life. The meds I am on have affected my attitude, which is why I am being dragged down by this apathy and low-lying depression. So... I am trying to fight back.
First off, I am taking advantage of any moment when I'm not feeling dragged down. When I have a moment like that, I grab it to get something done: clean, plan, exercise - whatever I can. Next, I am going to be talking to the doctor about alternatives to the meds I am on. If he can't adjust them or wean me off yet, then maybe he can give me something to counteract the effects. It's either that or I am going to have to look at being disabled and that's something I will fight hard.
So, this is my life. Funny how fast this all hit me. I still can't believe that just a couple of months ago, I was in a completely different place. I hope anyone who has been following the story is taking it as a warning. A warning to enjoy what comfort and peace you have before it all changes or veers off on a different path. Here are some lessons I have learned:
1. Don't get too comfortable with anything you have - not material things or the people in your life. Appreciate what you have, but be ready to lose it all.
2. Things change. Don't think that because you woke up this morning one way that you will be able to count on that every day.
3. Be prepared for the worst. Your finances, your health, anything that counts as "security" can all go up in smoke.
Actually, I guess all those are really about the same thing: not counting on things not to change. That's what I have learned, but I learned it the hard way.
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