Shaking the Shooks (randomness)

Not exactly sure what was hitting my system the other day. I thought it was a simple cold, but it went and turn up on me. I was so sore that I thought I was tearing ligaments every time I tried to get out of bed. Taking my weekly dose of methotrexate was like pouring holy water on a demon.

Ugh.

I'm not running marathons yet, but I am feeling so much better this morning. I had solid food (in the form of this delicious thing called a "breakfast pizza") and I am managing to get some laundry done. Laundry has to be done because I drowned some of my clothing in upchuck...

Anyway, I am trying to get back into moving around and getting things done. I was even able to taste-test a product that I will be reviewing here shortly. In the meantime, thanks to all of you - especially Bonnie and Sandy and Nicky and Merry, and all the others who checked in.

This is what I was blessed to open my eyes to this morning:

Morning's glory

 I literally took that from bed in my family's home this morning. Not a bad sight to wake up too, right? It was/is raining off and on and the sky really did look that gorgeous.

This guy here... This is Hooch. Hooch is Bonnie and Darrell's doggie, but he was all mine while I was sick. They left him in charge of me! He did good. Wouldn't leave my side until I felt better.

He's protecting his yard from squirrels and rabbits

And these are the fresh-from-the-tree apples I nibbled on after breakfast.

So. I'm going to finish laundry and work on getting caught up on reviews. Thanks for sticking around, folks!

Peace
--Free

Sunday Refreshment (Midwest Style)

Lord knows, my spirit needed refreshing and I sure got it this morning. If those plane rides (which scared the crap out of me) and that layover that almost required my applying for residency at DFW - well, if all that didn't wear on me, my previous weeks of chaos has. I've been under so much stress the past few months that, since I landed here in this amazing place, I feel as if my body is in detox. Church this morning is just what I needed to feel replenished.

Before church...

 Let me go ahead and admit now that I haven't been to church in so long that it's a wonder I didn't knock on the front door. Luckily, I didn't have to; the folks at the church I attended seriously welcomed me with such open arms and hearts that I found myself tearing up during the praise and worship part of the service. (I tend to weep with joy whenever I am in church. Too bad I haven't shed enough of those tears lately!)

...After church

The folks here are just... I don't even know how to describe their kindness. It's not a phony-rote-cue-card kind of "Hi, how are'ya." This is sincere, look-you-in-the-eye consideration, compassion and concern. I almost didn't know how to take it all in. How sad is that?

They were. Seriously nice.

Anyway, I feel better than I did when I went to bed and woke up. I went to bed with the start of a cold and woke up with those germs playing golf with my bones. I told my brother that I remembered something our Mom used to say about that's like the Devil whispering for you to turn on over and go on back to sleep.

The drive home was nice. We drove slowly so that I could play the bumpkin outsider and take pictures of every other stalk of corn, barn and cute little house. Seriously. My finger is getting a callous from working the camera on my phone. (By the way, I will be posting some of the pics when I get them organized. Or get them off my brother's phone. Did you know that the Galaxy 4 camera really, really sucks snot? It does.)

Now that I am home and have done this post for the day, I am about to crawl into (or under) the bed and throw Robitussin at this nasty cold. It was pretty lame that the chick from Alaska was sitting in church wrapped up in a coat all morning... Just. So. Um... No words.

I'll be back to regular posting and reviews in the next few days. I have a couple of skin-care products on the way from Tomoson, and my sister-in-law and I have to pick up our free Silk Almond Coconut Blend to try. For this moment, though, I can't even type straight, so...

Peace
--Free

When I Buy a Blanket

So.... now that I am here (you know, the place that I call M.M. - "Mayberry of the Midwest"), I am kind of falling in love with the area. Just like in any relationship, I don't want to fall too hard too fast, but...

The waterfall behind an old mill house

From a walk through the neighborhood

Love the trees that are everywhere

...And I mean everywhere!

And then I found THIS at the store. Yum.

A walnut. Yes. From a tree in my family's yard.

About 7 bucks for this humongous fish sammich

Just a sight I had to photograph as we went on a drive

Not every place is right for every person (no-brainer, right?), but every place is right for some person(s). From the minute I saw the landscape below from the window of the plane, I started having feelings for what I was seeing. Good feelings, calm feelings, hopeful feelings.

So far, I've seen soybean fields, cornfields, animal pastures... I even saw deer playing in a park.

My first full night here, I think I had the best sleep that I've had in years. And I only slept in bits and pieces. I kept waking up to go and sit out in the fresh air and sounds of a peaceful night. I listened to a stillness that I haven't been in the company of for a long time. I had little chats with God. I even had a little chat with a squirrel that was playing in a nearby tree. (Actually, I only chatted with him after my heart quit hammering. The little booger was playing so furiously in the tree that I imagined some big and scary thing was about to drop down on my head!)

This morning, I introduced myself to the cadence of the town - which cycles from slow, deep breathing to that which is slower and more shallow; I met and struck up acquaintances with  some of the streets and sights. I learned that not much is open before 7am. (Last night I figured out from the sudden silence that not much is open or moving after 8pm.)

Today, my brain is still tired and trying to adjust to the time and calm. I thought that my body was bone-tired, but I realized a few minutes ago that it's just trying to re-calibrate from too much stress to this feeling of being detoxed. It's very weird.

Because I've had my hopes dashed before - more than 'dashed', maybe more like soaked and beaten against rocks like so much dirty laundry - I'm cautious with my expectations. When I'm ready to accept that this really might be the place for me, I'll go and buy coffeepot. Maybe I'll even buy a plant.

I'll know that I'm ready to settle in when I go and buy a blanket. Right now, I'm working on just breathing.

Peace
--Free

Mayberry of the Midwest

Still here in Alaska, but rushing to get prepped for life in Iowa.  A lot of people who know of my impending move are still a little curious about my reasons. All I can say is that no one can understand why I'm going unless they know where I've been for so many years.

My new town? I'll call it Mayberry of the Midwest. Mayberry. Not because it's small, quaint and country, but because it's everything I'm hoping it will be: small, quaint and country.

I'm looking to Mayberry for some physical, spiritual, social and financial healing. The last several years of living in Arizona, Texas and, back here, in Alaska have broken me in way that only God can fix. Living in a more affordable place is my first step to recovery.

Arizona ruined me financially; Texas broke my heart; and Alaska is too cold and expensive to give me anything I need in my life right now.  I want to be in a new place in my body and in my heart. I want the promises that sometimes a place can only offer a specific type of person at a certain time in their life.

What I've heard about "Mayberry" is that there is plenty of fresh air, a friendly (and sparse) population of church-going people. I've heard of old trees in the yards, unlocked doors on the residences. I envision being welcomed should I approach a neighbor for a borrowed cup of sugar. Okay, that might be pushing the technicolor dreams too hard. Still, I need a break from the harsh glare of the life I've been living.

I am looking forward to making a home for myself. A place to put my few belonging and enjoy them in peace. I want a home that makes me feel safe and calm and ready to go out and re-insert myself in the land of the working. I can't wait to put up family photographs and surround myself with cheap and precious furnishings. I am craving a a space to cook and dine in that is clean, cozy and functional. I want to sleep in comfort and quiet. Waking up in the morning to appreciation of simple blessings is another goal. I can't wait to plant a small garden, nurture potted plants and, maybe, have herbs and spices on my windowsill. This home that I dream of is full of fresh air and light, smelling of flowers (grown or sprayed from a can) and hope.

I suppose I am dreaming of a home and life that can be had anywhere, as long as one can afford it.

When I look back on the past seven to ten years of my life, I have memories of drudgery and resentment and a lack of cooperation from the people I aimed to please. Until I gained the dreams of Mayberry, my future was a dark cloud of being crowded and forced to go along to get along. I haven't been so much living a life to enjoy than just moving from day to day in survival  mode. Survival is like breathing: an automatic urge. Living is something only those with true hope and contentment can fully enjoy.

I don't wish on stars in the sky or rely on man-made promises. Stars burn out and men are only flawed and human. God, though, is a steady presence. He comes through every time. At the end of every road, in the darkest and loneliest of moods, He comes with hope and strength.  I've walked myself toward many bridges in this life of mine, but I have never been able to cross a single one of them without the Lord holding my hand.

So now, I begin this walk towards Mayberry. The bridge is a little rickety and, despite what I've heard, I'm not really sure what's on the other side. I'm just walking in faith.

Watch this space for stories of what I find on the other side. For now, goodnight.

Peace

--Free