The Saga of the Instant Pot, the Express, and the Foodi

It seems an eternity since I was just starting to cry about my now-dead Instant Pot. So much has happened in 10 days that it sounds crazy. Let me run this down for you:

The CrockPot that I was (and still am) so in love with is no longer in my immediate future. I was still at war with the awful seller - Unbeatable Deals is their name although they should change that to Undoable Deals - when I gave up and went straight to the top. I reached out to the highest customer service team I could find and Amazon came through like a champ.

The CrockPot is currently up-priced to $150 (from the 60-odd dollar price I snagged the first time) but... Amazon issued some credits and I got almost a hundred and fifteen dollars to apply toward whatever they sell.

I was going to get the CrockPot - because I am kind of in love with that oval shape - but I refuse to even think about the $150 price tag. Keep in mind that a 4-year protection plan is just about 30 bucks so... $180 for an item that I had in my cart at 60 bucks? An item that will most likely go back on sale at some point? An item with a Keepa app price history of as low as $49?

No thank you, ma'am.

Best Buy has it for about $89 but they only offer these weird 2-year protection plans. I don't know how I feel about Best Buy...

The Crock-Pot Express is all over eBay from 70 to 120 bucks. I don't know how I feel about eBay. I've never used them and don't want to start with a major (for me) purchase.

I must have sat and thought deeply for a good hour about what to do.

While I was thinking, I scrolled around the Amazon site, looking for anything else with an oval shape. Or anything with such great ratings. Or anything that-

Wait. What is this?

This was, as it turns out, the perfect machine (or so I've heard). It was just staring at me from the product page.

The Ninja FD401 Foodi 12-in-1 Deluxe XL.

In an 8-quart size. Eight- not 6 or 6.5.

Price: $179.00

Let me tell you something. That beautiful Ninja Foodi began talking to me.

Foodi: I'm so much better than a Crock-Pot. And so, SO much better than that laughable pretender to my throne - the Instant Pot. 

Me: Yes. Yes, you are. You are the greatest. You are the Cassius Clay of small kitchen appliances. You don't float like a butterfly or sting like a bee but you air-fry, pressure-cook, steam, dehydrate, crisp, and-

Foodi: Yeah, yeah, I know. So what are you gonna do? Sit there and look at me all day or...

Me: Well, I don't know. You see, I am a little on the low-income side of things.  And you are, well, a bit 'highbrow' - or at least upper middle brow. What would it look like, someone like me having a pricey appliance like you when I am on such a meager budget?

Foodi: ~rolling its- well, you know~ So, what? You can't afford to spend maybe 80 bucks or so out of your Christmas-gift money? 

Me: 80? Hah! Your tag prices you at 179.99, my friend. Not including taxes.

Foodi: And Amazon gave you over113 bucks. That means you will have Amazon credits worth about, oh... 125 bucks, give or take.

Me: Yeah but- Wait. What? How did 113 become 125?

Foodi: Don't you use that app that gives you a credit of 10 bucks every time you submit 10 receipts?

Me: ~remembering and smiling~

Foodi: And you still have some unused credits from the past couple of months from the app. Unless you accidentally spent them when you ordered coffee-

Me: I. For. Got!!! I did not spend those leftovers. 

Foodi: Go on, get out your calculator. Do some math - if you can manage that.

Me: ~Can't manage because my brain is having a hissy fit this morning so I call my brother and he plays with the numbers.~ 

Foodi: It's not calculus. Whatta you come up with?

Me: Well... I would have to pay another 30 dollars for a protection plan. Oh - and I did spend the last of my Christmas gift money. I paid off a credit card balance. So that's- 

Foodi: Yes? Think, girl, think.

Me: I am basically just paying for the protection plan.

Foodi: ~dusting its hands~ See. You can do this.

Me: But still, 30 dollars. Spending 30 dollars is spending 30 dollars.

Foodi: ~looking indignant~ Spending it on me - a Ninja Foodi. The Cassius Clay of-

Me: alright, I get it, I get it.

So I added the Foodi to my cart. Then I called my niece to get her opinion. She was almost as indignant as the Foodi had been.  ("It's a Foodi! I paid almost $300 for mine! And you don't want to spend thirty?!)

I called my brother back and didn't even get to say hi before he was asking when it was going to be delivered.

Yeah. 

I can have a Ninja Foodi. And not just a Foodi, but the deluxe model. And a 4-year protection plan. All just for just about 36 dollars.

I hit the purchase button.

I called my best friend's granddaughter (who I talk to when my friend is not at her best, which is a lot lately) and told her all about what I'd done. She heard the doubt in my voice and had some advice. She sounded kind of serious so I was worried.

A friend of a friend had recently died - a woman in her mid-forties. This woman had long been a steadily employed, well-compensated, white-collar professional. She had been a very frugal person because she was divorced and had to plan for her future on her own. She sounded a lot like me - other than the "well-compensated" part. She had become more pennu]y-pinching since the start of the pandemic, like many money-conscious people. And then she had died of something - not even COVID-related.

My best friend's granddaughter's advice was to be money-wise and frugal but not to pass up the little every-now-and-then treats for yourself. She reminded me that her friend's friend had died with quite a bit of money to her name - and she won't be spending a nickel of it wherever she is going.

Yeah. That is all true. Still, I had a residue of guilt over spending the money.

Fast forward about, I don't know - maybe 3 hours or a little more? 

I'm checking my email. The first new one I see is from someone at Instant Brands. They are "as a one-time, goodwill gesture" sending me a replacement Instant Pot and they need to verify my address and phone number.

It was so weird and funny that I had to laugh out loud. 

I called up my niece to ask if she knows anyone who needs an Instant Pot. She was immediately shaking her head so hard, I could hear it over the phone. 

"No! Sell it on Poshmark or something and put the money on a bill."

So. 

Yeah. And, you know something, I still kind of want the Croc-Pot Express Oval...

That's the saga of the Instant Pot, the Express, and the Foodi.

If 2022 has to be any kind of weird, let it be this kind of weird.

Peace

--Free