Hot News, Not News, Hot Mess, You Lose

It's official. I am now at an age where too many things irritate me. I wake up in a decent mood and, after 2 minutes of scanning the news, I'm grouchy. News is no longer informative as it is irritating, rabble-rousing, divisive, and stupidly out together. 

I have assigned personalities to certain news sources and their followers. I can truly almost see them as actual persons.

Right Wing Ricky & Ruthie - the schoolyard instigators that stand on the sidelines yelling "Fight, fight". Sometimes they taunt the scariest bullies with "You're going to let him talk about you like that?" They scurry around the school, spreading salacious rumors to get everyone more riled up. They have a side hustle selling snacks and trinkets during the dustups so the bigger the crowds...

Left Wing Luke & Lucy - the irritating kids who want to invite every underdog and weirdo to their birthday parties. The underdogs and weirdos are always the folks who are picked on by Fox. Instead of taking the high road, they will pick on their bullies, just using a better dictionary so they can claim to be morally and intellectually superior.

Pete & Patti Progressive - the stoner kids. Sometimes, they are really laid back and mellow and just want us all to get along but they can swing right or left, depending on who is where in the schoolyard fight. Stoner that they are, they do have a mean streak. It's hidden but there and can be lethal when unleashed.

Spectator Sam & Sally - the ones who copy and paste everyone else's personalities as needed. They play whichever side they can. They just want to be popular and noticed. They are the kids hoping to parlay whatever they can into a high Instagram following so they can make the big bucks without working too hard.

Then there is most of the rest of the crowd - call them Dave & Daisy Dullard - the kids on the sidelines. We usually pick one kid to idolize and support, no matter what. Even if they ignore us or hate us, we will be there, supporting them to the end. Or until another kid comes along who "gets us" better than the old kid. We get really loud and start flexing when someone comes along who says out loud all the curse words we have only been whispering.

Meanwhile, over in the library, there are a few of us - Critical Kate & Kwami -  who are hitting the books hard. We mostly ignore the playground madness because we are busy studying the history of the school system. We are busy trying to understand where everything went so wrong. Of course, we don't matter much during our school days but we are hoping to someday make a difference in the "real world". We are going to need a bigger bullhorn though.

Finally, there's Ivan & Ilsa InstaInfluencer. They gave up on the schoolyard and are taking an indefinite break from reality by focusing on brawns, beauty, and booze. They hang near the outer perimeter, fangirling and bromancing each other. This crowd's pretty exclusive. You need money, looks, makeup magic, or Photoshop skills to break in. They don't really care too much about the real world because they have created their own "imageverse" where relevance is based on Likes, following, dollars, and other trickery.

The biggest problem I have with most news sources is that they are in it for the money, ratings, and personal popularity. I have a niece who is straight and married but I do think she'd switch to be with Rachel Maddow. She calls Maddow a "rock star" and that's just about how she treats the newswoman...

I find it weird and scary that there are so many reports of news "personalities" becoming more important to our society than they should be. They are news presenters, not heroes.

On that same track, it annoys me about the news is that the presenters are getting to be more important than the news itself. I should not know or care about the presenters' sexual, political, or religious leanings. I should not know or care about who they are dating, divorcing, or cheating on and with.

When I watch the news, I don't want to have to question whether it's biased because of the personal feelings of the news reader. 

And why is it that some news sites spend so much time letting readers/watchers know about news media ratings? Do they want to be presenting us with news and information or do they want our Facebook likes and popularity vote?

See? This is why I have to drink hibiscus tea and take pills to keep my blood pressure under control.

When we talk about the U.S. being in a collective state of road rage, we blame each other. No one is looking at the media. They started this smoking dumpster fire that is spreading toxic fumes throughout the nation.

The crazy politicians - Right, Left, Loony, etc. - wouldn't have so much power to play us for fools if the media wasn't playing them for ratings.  Most of the nuts that are sitting in Washington - wielding power of varying degrees - would not be there if the Media hadn't turned all of us into InstaNews junkies.

I want to get back to the days of reading (mostly) impartial news reports and having to think about what it all means. When my nieces were in school and claimed to have no homework, I would assign them to watch the news and write a summary. I couldn't do that now - not unless I wanted them having to edit out all the madness.

While I am on this rant, I want to throw some shade at some of the supposed "trusted" news sources. The other day, I was perusing the AP site. One of the hot-button stories had to do with Taylor Swift. No offense meant toward Miss Swift, but I don't think that a pop singer should be in "serious" news for being a pop singer. I didn't screenshot the site that day but here is a recent screenshot:

If this is in order of importance...SMH

Google News also sucks in its own way. On the one hand, there is a browser extension that allows readers to edit out mentions of anything they don't want to see. The problem is, by the time I block out the nonsense, there's apparently no news left to read.

Just 1 week of blocking...

I gave up. Now, I rarely bother to look at Google News - unless I'm looking for the latest Amazon deals. These days, I'm checking several sites and realize that almost all news has a bias.

Here are my daily stops for news (in no particular order):

• C-SPAN
• Reuters
• Mediaite
• BBC (for US and Canada mainly)
• AP News
• Bloomberg
• The Hill
• Christian Post
• The Jerusalem Post 
• News Nation
• Politico
• I watch NBC News online occasionally.
• Futurism

My challenge is to not think about news as anything other than information. It's not meant to shape my personal beliefs or my character. It's just information. Period. After reading the news I have an idea of what is currently being reported on. I have to take into account that there are a lot of things not being reported on. This is why I sometimes steel myself and go take a peek at The Artist Site Formerly Known as Prince Twitter. And, I have no shame in admitting that I also check Cracked as a palate cleanser.

Whichever news sources you look to for information, don't forget to use your critical thinking skills. If one is not careful, the news can be dangerous propaganda. 

Peace

--Free

Media, Aging, Acceptance, Esteem

(I started this post a couple days ago, then a BFF & I got hold of a few nothing-to-do hours, some lawn chairs and we had a sky full of sun... So, ya know.)

A good friend of the family had his 41st birthday and a bunch of us are got to talking about aging. (The friend in question is a guy and he's not been in on the conversation. So far.)

There are a lot of jokes about how we spend the first few years of life counting our age in fractions and spend our elderly years doing the same thing. I for one just think of myself as "30 + experience." (My friend is more honest and says she is "40 + change." (I always want to tell her, "Yeah, Change of Life," but I won't go there since I am the older of the two.)

Okay, here's the thing: why is getting older such a big deal? It's not like we spoil or something. At whatever "mature" age we are, we still feel and think and love and crave and dream and all the same good stuff we did at our younger ages. Hell, we know how to do all that stuff better.

When my friends (and my sister) and I started our conversation, one of the things we all wondered about is Why? Why is getting older such a big deal? Why - even if you are not in optimum health (physical, financial, emotional or whatever) - does it seem that we are not supposed to be okay with who and what we are? We are never supposed to be okay with where we care in our lives unless we meet some media-sanctioned ideal.

Want to heat up a discussion? Bring up the media. I did and, man, we broke out the Malibu and O.J. then and just got down. We didn't have a simple girl chat; we had a freaking convention. One of the ladies went up and grabbed my laptop so we could Google shit. Yeah, that serious.

If you read gossip-type news at all (or catch it on CNN, MSNBC, E.T.), you know that "media" is obsessed with women looking "half their age," or snapping back from 9 months of pregnancy to be a "Yummy Mummy." What the hell is up with having to fit into a size 4 after months of harboring another human being inside your body? And try doing that without the help of personal trainers and chefs, and without the motivation of the Bod Squad Mafia of fans waiting for you to fail. Those celebrities get no downtime unless that's they totally give up "press." No wonder it seems that most of Hollywood is kind of nuts. They have to be. That's nothing but pure pressure 24/7. Forget a sex tape - what if you wanna pick your nose? How'd you like to have that caught on film. But that's another rant. Let's stay on topic.

Now, because I and none of my friends are famous (or even infamous outside Chilkoot Charlie's), we can sneak out to stores in the dead of night looking like Hell and his ugly brother. Not that we do this. No. But the thing is, Media makes it so hard for even "regular" people to be, well, regular.

If you don't look 30 when you are 50, well, you better get out there and buy that new laser-treatment-in-a-bottle. If you can't shop in the Juniors' "small" section - even though you were never small and have two kids and are glued to an office chair 9 hours a day - well then, shame on your sorry, fat, old, ugly self.

Look at what the media focuses on when dealing with celebrities: their bodies, their age-less looks, their hair, etc. As a pop celeb, unless you somehow corner the market on it, you're not going to get a lot of attention for feeding the hungry, helping out a community of citizens or just being a good and decent human being who is more financially fortunate than most. What do you think would get a celeb the most press: saving a family's home from foreclosure or going on a racist or homophobic rant? Matter of fact, that whole Kardashian clan has made a freaking franchise that started with Kim banging Ray J and releasing the video. (Leaked, my ass; that was a planned career move.) And now, we have to hear about Kim's curves and hair every time we hit the wrong button on the TV remote. (By the way, what the Joker-from-Batman hell happened to Bruce Jenner's face?)

Maybe it's just me (me and my group), but I've had days when I was feeling alright with life, then I spot a picture of a 65 year old "diva" who has better tits, ass and legs than I do - oh, and who looks 45). That will crash your day so fast... One of my friends says that when she looks at photos of the current hot chicks (Jolie, Aniston or, heaven forbid, one of the really young Hots), she feels as if she is looking into a trick mirror that's telling her what she ought to look like but never will. And this woman is actually just so pretty. Without Photoshop. Such a downer.

I remember one time when I was all ready to go out with friends and I passed by the TV on my way out and caught a glimpse of some female celebrity. In two seconds, I went from ready to have a great night with friends to feeling like I'd grown a hump on my back and a gray chin hair. Of course, I wasn't trying to impress anyone. I hadn't even thought about how I looked (I was clean and presentable, and, damnit, I smelled so good!) until I saw that image. It actually sort of affected my whole evening. I remember looking at other females at the bar and thinking, We don't look like "them." How crazy is that? Of course we don't look like Them. We don't have pros doing our hair and makeup, we don't have the wardrobe (or the slaved for - or Spanxed for - bodies), and we don't have "looking good" printed at the tops of our job descriptions. We are just trying (most of us) to look like the best version of ourselves.

SMH

One of the ladies I will not name (she doesn't read blogs, but I'm making sure she sees this post) even talked about how this kind of thing seriously affects her relationship. She says that when she knows she has a romantic evening coming (and with the both of them working and three kids under 8, trust me, she and her husband plan for sex like some people plan for a sabbatical), she refuses to look at anything that has those perfect celebs pictured. She says her husband can't live up to "media" stereotypes any more than she can, but he doesn't have the same body issues. She says (forgive me, L, for blog-blabbing) that if she has any images in her head of those perfect females that it just messes with her libido. Wow. That's rough.

I think that men do have body issues just like women do. Maybe not to the extent that we do. It's crazy that any of us have to have these "issues" at all. Just a few years ago, I always laughed that whole "body issues" thing. How silly, I thought. Until I went through my pharmaceutically-induced weight changes. There is nothing in the world like sprouting a muffin top and fat side handles to make you want to torch every little, lacy, sexy, non-granny-panty item in your wardrobe. Sex in anything than complete darkness is just a memory... Boy, I was so naive at sizes 5-8.  Naive and smug. And have I learned or matured about this? Nope. I'm losing the weight now because of a change in meds, thank goodness. (And let me tell you all something: Once I can fit back into my "little & cutes," I might wear only slut clothes. So damn glad I just stored all my cute shit.) I don't like myself at over 140 & I won't feel like "me" until I'm back to that. I don't know why. I could have lost some limbs or one of my senses, right? I don't care. I just want to look good in my cute jeans and undies again. Is that media-influenced or is that just normal craziness? One of my weirdities? Whatever. It is what it is.

Anyway, my friends and I shared a bunch of stories. Stories about our insecurities about our lifestyles because we don't have homes with vaulted ceilings, blue bedrooms with wall-sized fish tanks or servants' quarters...  Stories about being brainwashed into not finding and loving the right person because they don't look like the photo-shopped people on a movie poster or CD. About being made to feel as if we are worthless because we are raising children who aren't being pursued by colleges at the age of 10 or who aren't playing Chopin after only one lesson. About having the media dictate to us that unless we drive the latest, wear the most expensive, own the biggest or fuck the hottest, our lives just cannot be as joyful and satisfying as the people they give us a models.

The Chicks and I decided that not even one of us is as bad off as we first thought. We have our insecurities, but we deal with them pretty well. The people we love love us. We love each other not for the way we look but for the way we love. The men in our lives appreciate us for our toughness and humor. We love the men in our lives because they are worth loving. We're not perfect, but we're pretty freaking okay.

We regular folk need some positive affirmations. Here is what we came up with as a group. Not everyone of us agreed on all of them, but...

• It's okay to be whatever size you are. As long as you are healthy and feel okay with it. If you don't feel okay with it, do something about it or find someone who loves every delicious pound of you.
• Having a wrinkle is not the end of the world. Injecting poison into your face and refusing to smile is a lot less fun than developing laugh lines. (You have our permission to pluck that chin hair!)
• If you are 40, 50, 60 - whatever - it's okay to look your damn age. Why the hell does everyone want to be Benjamin Button. Why the hell do you want to be with someone who isn't okay with you looking your age. Matter of fact, beautiful, why would you want to be with someone who only wants to be with your for your looks?
• Look the age you look, act the age you feel. If you are 70, but feel 20, then enjoy. Age has nothing to do with joy. Put a big purple bow on your cane and do your damn thing.
• Love people the way you want to be loved. Not for their looks or their money or for what they can do for you, but for the way they make you feel.
• There are no "perfect" people. Even beautiful people have heartaches and fears. Sometimes, they have more than the rest of us. They have to learn to accept happiness just like everyone else.
• The next time you see the "10 Sexiest," ask yourself this: Do I really want to work that hard to look that good? 
• Accept you. Do you. 

Peace

--Free (and the other chicks)