Taking a Little Break (To Reboot)

 My depression and anxiety have ramped up in the past couple of weeks. This is a cycle, I know, and I know it will run its course. For now, I am just struggling to deal with the most minor things. I'm pretty sure my sarcoidosis is in cahoots with the mental issues because my brain gets even sillier at times like this.

I'm going to take a little time away from blogging. Maybe in a week or two, I will be better. I have an infusion coming up so I should definitely feel physically better after that. For now, I have been mainly avoiding people and trying not to sleep too much by browsing memes about depression and anxiety. It all makes me very tired.

When I come back, I will share some CKD-friendly recipes on my kidney blog and try to do a couple of perfume reviews here since one of my nieces sent me a couple.

Praying that all the readers are doing well. I'll leave you with some memes to make you smile a little and inspirational thoughts to make you think.

Peace

--Free

P.S.: If you suffer from anxiety and/or depression, talk to a doctor - or to anyone who can help you. There is treatment and it works. I sometimes have to have my dosage adjusted. This happens to be one of those times and I do have an appointment coming up. Whatever you do, do not think you are the only one, and do not lose hope. Do not give up and do not give in.

This is so me.

And I need to buy a sticker like this for my front door:

This. So much this:

**UPDATE** Using the Ninja Creami (3 Weeks In)

 It's been almost 4 weeks since I got this Ninja Creami. I have until the 17th of this month (August) to decide whether or not to return it. Even though I initially thought I'd definitely keep it, I did look at my budget and waffle a bit. Now I'm leaning toward keeping it. And since my scattered brain just now remembered that I have not yet posted the initial review so here you go. Now I can link to the method I use to determine whether or not to keep an appliance...

Is the Creami a Keep It or a Sleep It? I'm really, really leaning toward keeping it. I do use this think at least twice a week. And I did get it at one of the best prices of the year. So, yeah, I'm probably keeping it. The only reason I would send it back at this point is if I suddenly found something better and cheaper. (I looked at machines like this one but... I'm turning into a Ninja fan.)

In just under 4 weeks, I have made pint after pint of non- or low-dairy ice cream, sorbet, and gelato. I have only had one real dud. One of my base mixes was off somehow and my product came out like powder. All the re-spinning in the world did not help. I gave up on that one and rinsed a couple of buck's worth of ingredients down the disposal.

If you have looked into getting a Creami, you have no doubt wondered or heard about how loud the machine runs. It scared me the first time I ran it but, as I mentioned in the initial post, I keep mine on a thick cloth pad and this is what it sounds like:

I have to say that I really do enjoy being able to make gelato customized to my tastes and health needs. The first time I made one, I bypassed eggs and used cornstarch instead. It was okay. Not amazing, not bad, just okay. Then I found a recipe using eggs without any cooking. Perfect. Even minus the custard base, that gelato was pretty dang smacking, if I say so myself. One day, I will go ahead a do a custard base, just because.

Mainly, I have been using macadamia milk but I've started using cashew milk and adding some coconut cream to it in place of heavy cream. (At the end of this post, I will tell you something embarrassing.) I have to say that I prefer using cashew milk. It's much creamier and, if I whip or froth it, it get super-thick and makes for a better ice cream base. Of course, I found out a few months ago that I am slightly allergic to cashew milk. I can eat cashews until I'm broke but the milk? If I drink more than a couple of cups, it makes my skin itch. Hives? Is that what that is? Anyway. Funny that cashew nuts and store-bought cashew milk ice cream don't bother me one bit.

By the way, this is how thick cashew milk froths up for use in my coffee...

One thing I have not played around with is adding things beyond a little chocolate syrup. I keep intending to thaw some blueberries to toss in but I always forget. I do have some canned pineapple (one of the CKD-safe fruits) that I'm going to stir into the next batch of ice cream. Years ago, I heard on one of the Food Network shows about garlic ice cream. I do love me some garlic so... maybe???

So, after a few weeks, I can definitely speak on a couple of frustrations with the Creami. For one thing, it can be tricky to make the just-right batch of the base when using dairy substitutes. Even with all this practice, I still have to watch every measurement carefully to avoid getting ice crystals or a slushy result. Also, products made in the Creami melt very quickly. I am going to look into solutions for that. because I don't often have anyone to share the desserts with, I have to re-freeze leftovers. It's not horrible but it's not ideal.

Another thing is that I have to remember to date-mark my pints. It takes a minimum of 24 hours of freezing before you can run a batch in the machine. Now that I have 3 of the pint and lid sets, I keep batches in rotation. If I forget to mark them, I have no idea when I put them in so I have to leave them at least a few hours more. Anyway.

Over the past few weeks, I've remembered to take photos of some of the processes and results - missteps and all.

There was one batch that barely filled up the pint. After the fact, I realized that, once again, I'd screwed up on the measurement. I now know not to try talking on the phone while I'm measuring.

Adding a little bit of chocolate syrup was genius. I didn't add it until after the ice cream was served. The Creami can be picky about things you add when using the machine...

This was my first batch of soft serve. Soft by accident. I have no idea what I did to this base but... It was pretty tasty. My neighbor complains that I need to add more sugar and fat. Uh, girlfriend, go get your own machine and do your thing.

My first really good batch

So, yeah. I do like having this machine. In a while, after I see the dentist, I'm going to be doing soft foods for a while. So... ice cream anyone? 

This next week, I am going to try a garlic recipe that I found. I'm kind of mad that I'm so dairy-restricted. Otherwise, I'd use this lady's recipe all the damn time to make this no-churn ice cream. Her batch looks scrumptious! 

Later today, I am going to make some ice cream using cream of coconut. Why? Well, about that embarrassing thing I promised to tell... I've been using cashew milk and a tiny bit of table cream whipped to substitute for heavy cream.  I broke down though and decided to try using coconut cream (I've used coconut milk and it's delicious). When I went to the Walmart site to order the coconut cream, I saw that it was ridiculously pricey. The cheapest can (just about 14 ounces) is $4.38. For one can. So, of course, I kept scrolling. I spotted the price of $2.34 and the words "coconut" and "cream" and added a can to my cart. Well, when I opened the can, I knew I'd messed up. Here's a For Dummies tip: coconut cream and cream of coconut are two totally different things. And they are not interchangeable in recipes...

What I got

What I have

What I NEED

If my mother were here, my name for the day would be "idiot" while she "blessed my heart"...

I will get the cream of coconut and give the recipe a whirl. In the meantime, I am still loving the Creami. Mostly.

Peace

--Free

**REVIEW** Ninja Creami Ice Cream Machine

 So. I found such a good deal on this ice cream matching that I returned the Woot computer. Well, I also returned it because I think Woot had played a little loose with the discount value. It looks to me that they over-estimated the sticker price to make their discount look deeper than it actually was. I decided, no thank you, I will keep looking...

Anyway.

Talk about good timing. The Ninja Creami deal happened during Prime Day.

I use all except
 for the Lite. Lite? No thank you.

Because I have the Amazon Prime Rewards Visa Signature Card, I was able to get the machine for under $140, making 6 no-interest payments. If not for that, I would not have the Creami. (My niece has the Creami but she got the 3-pint model vs the 1-pint I bought and she paid around $235. Yikes. The 1-pint I got on discount is currently $200.) Even when I bought mine with the Prime Day discount, I made up my mind to use what I call my "Keep It or Sleep It" system. It's a simple system. If, after a week or two, I find that I am not getting much use from the appliance, I return it. Very simple. 

This is what my first-week experience was with the Creami:

• Day 1 - I was still slightly med-sick when it was delivered so it just sat, boxed, in the living room for the morning. I spent half an hour that evening, unboxing it and wondering why the heck I'd bought it in the first place. I took the manual and Quick Start paperwork to bed and watched some video reviews.

• Day 2 Part 1 - The machine is big and heavy, but not as big and heavy as I'd feared. I have minimal counter space but this fits on my one near the sink. It is too heavy for me to be moving back and forth to a storage spot in the pantry or closet if I use it more than 3 times a week. If I don't use it 3 times a week or more, then I need to "sleep" it. The set-up is super easy because there is nothing to do but plug it in, and attach the blade paddle to the lid. And you don't need to do any of that until you make your ice cream base but we'll get to that.

• Day 2 Part 2 - I had to decide what I wanted to make. The big thing with the Creami is that you have to make and freeze your base mix for at least 24 hours. This isn't too bad for my niece who had 3 of the pint cups and storage lids. My machine came with a single cup/lid set. That's kind of an important difference. For my first go-round with the machine, I made a modified version of the basic ice cream recipe I saw in the recipe book and online. I can't have a lot of dairy products so I used macadamia milk, a little bit of heavy table cream, natural honey as the sweetener, cornstarch (because of this tip), and vanilla bean paste. I whipped this up, making sure to add as much air as I could, poured it into the pint, lidded it, and put it at the back of my freezer. (I wrote down the time that the mix went into the freezer.)

• Day 3 Part 1 - It was a couple of hours over the 24-hour limit before I remembered to take out the base mix. For some reason, I was really nervous to actually run the Creami for the first time. I checked and re-checked that I'd correctly (and tightly) attached the paddle/blade to the lid. I practiced inserting putting the pint and bowl together and getting them inserted into the machine. I put the mix back in the freezer and spent an hour watching more videos to make sure I understood the procedure. I spent another hour having a cup of coffee and contemplating whether or not to just send the machine back to Amazon. When the mix had been in the freezer for a total of almost 30 hours, I finally took the plunge. I inserted the bowl, turned on the power, and had a mild anxiety attack when the lights on the machine started doing their thing. I hit Ice Cream and - OH MY LORD! This thing sounds like my vacuum when I've got something stuck in the brush. It's very jarring. Thankfully, the Ice Cream process isn't long - maybe 2 minutes, tops? 

          Okay. That should be all the payback I need to dish out to my loud-assed neighbor upstairs!                   She really gets on my nerves up there, walking like she's trying to wake the dead but... I felt a                 little bad for my other neighbors. (I came up with a solution I will mention shortly.) 

           But - I had ice cream! It was a little bit slushy/icy at first so I did a Re-spin and it was much                     better-looking and it tasted amazing. I was glad that I'd added cream and vanilla paste. 

• Day 3 Part 2 - I put what was left of my first batch of ice cream into another container to keep in the freezer. I wanted to try making a sorbet. I made a mix of canned peaches (in heavy syrup), some vanilla bean paste, and about a tablespoon of honey. I pureed this with the immersion blender and put it up to freeze. 
• Day 5 - I had doctor appointments so I did not use the sorbet mix right away. When I did, it was also super-easy. Just hit the Sorbet button on the Creami and let it work. Honestly, I think my sorbet was much better than the ice cream. 

At the end of the 2 weeks, in addition to making the first ice cream and sorbet (I made that twice and shared it with one of my neighbors), I tried my hand at a gelato (without custard), and a completely dairy-free version of ice cream. 

I have to say, my least favorite thing was the dairy-free ice cream. I think ice cream needs more fat. Also, I wasn't using anything in place of the cream cheese.

So. The Creami is definitely a Keep It for me. I went back over the last several months of my Instacart and Walmart receipts to see how much I've spent on non-dairy ice cream. I also thought about the things I've had to replace my ice cream and yogurt cravings with. And I realized how few snack items I can enjoy on this specialized diet. 

This is a keeper FOR ME - however... In my opinion, there are people this might not be for. Unless you can afford even the bargain price - 

• DON'T get this if you don't have a special diet to stick to - where you need a lot of control or ingredients.
• DON'T get this if you have more than 3 people in the home who will use it enough. Even with 3 pints and lids, it's tough to satisfy every craving. That 24-hour wait is crazy. As a single person, I was able to deal with this. I can't eat a pint at a time so I made enough over a few days to freeze and nibble on daily. I went ahead and got 2 extra pints and lids ($20) and now can rotate mixes.
• DON'T get this if you aren't going to use at least 3 of the 7 functions (I'm including the ingredients "Mix In" function to the others) I am using Ice Cream, Sorbet, Gelato, and Smoothie Bowl (this one only once so far).

The pros and cons - again in my opinion:

• PRO - This is interesting: the design is a modified-for-home-use version of the $7k Pacojet used in industrial & commercial kitchens. And that info is from a pro.
• PRO - Very useful for people needing ingredient control (especially kids who can't handle sugar or who have allergies).
• PRO - SO easy to clean. I have been running my parts under warm & soapy water, doing a good rinse, and drying - all by hand. It takes maybe 5 minutes at most.
• PRO - Easy to set up and use. Even a child (depending) can be taught to use this. It's fairly safe because the blade/paddle is not exposed during use. The blade is not very sharp even when exposed for cleaning.
• PRO - It doesn't take long to learn how to substitute ingredients to achieve a good taste and texture of the frozen goodies.
• CON - The machine is loud. So loud. (I did manage to muffle the sound by quite a bit by placing the machine on a piece of thick silicone padding. I even used a thick towel after the first time and that also worked. Just make sure the machine stays level and sturdy - you know, use common sense.)
• CON - Even for a single person, having only 1 pint is pesky. You cannot set up more than one - or one type of - treat with 1 pint. I now have 3 containers so that I can have treats in rotation or just ready if I want them on the fly. (NOTE: Be careful shopping for extra pints. Go for the Ninja brand. Not all off-brand pints are for use in the machine; some are only for storage.) 
• CON - No matter how you muffle the sound of the machine, you won't want to run it at night unless you don't share walls/ceilings with neighbors.
• CON - The price. Unless your circumstances really warrant it, the price is still too high. There are $60 machines out there. I thought about getting one of the bucket-type machines but they have their own drawbacks. Still, you should do comparisons. The other machines are better for making more ice cream (I'm talking gallons) and if you have the space, they would be the better option in my opinion.

I've said this before about the Foodi and it applies to the Creami: if you are going to use this enough and if you can find a really decent discount on the price, yes, it's worth it. Personally, I would never buy something like this if not for finding a good price and no-interest financing. It's good and it's fun but, even for the ingredient control, this wouldn't be worth it on my budget otherwise.

Finally, all this buy-or-not info is just my opinion. You need to do your own research and make your own decision.

Peace

--Free

P.S.: I was writing a blog post on whether or not to keep the Creami when I realized that I had not posted this yet! So I am rush-publishing this, hoping that it doesn't need any editing. If so, mea culpa.

Smell Good For Less

 As I was writing the post about Fragrantica last week, I realized I should do this post on some ways for finding affordable perfume. I love, love, love perfume (and purses). Because I am on a super-tight budget, I have to find ways to enjoy them without going broke. So here are some of my tips and tricks.

1. Pop Sugar Dabble 

You can score free samples when buying perfume from most shops online. Sephora and Ulta both offer samples, I believe. But free is best especially, if you are trying to find a scent to fall in love with. I really do not like buying full-size bottles of any fragrance - even when I usually love the brand. My favorite place for free samples is Pop Sugar Dabble. If you sign up, you can get free perfume samples that come from Macy's. You fill out a profile for Skin, Hair, Makeup, and Fragrance.

The latest couple of boxes I've received have included female fragrances: Y from Yves Saint Laurent, a couple from Narciso Rodriguez (For Her and Pure Musc), Givenchy's Irresistible and (Parfum), Marc Jacob's Perfect (EDT), and men's - The Most Wanted and Heritage. My little brother liked both of those. I like almost anything from Narciso Rodriguez and Pure Musc is lovely but For Her is everything.

You can get non-perfume samples from other places but 95% of my samples have been for perfumes (maybe because my hair and makeup profile is harder to match?). I've gotten to try CBD gummies and cocktail gummies (yum!). Some of the items are full-sized and pretty luxurious. I've gotten to try things that I otherwise would not have and I've even put some of them on my holiday gift list. One of my favorite items was the Elemis Pro-Collagen Cleansing Balm. I got a 0.7 oz travel size ($13-$16 on Amazon). The 3.6 oz full-size is around $65 at Macy's. The balm is oil-based so a little goes a long way. I think I've been using this jar for 6 months (sparingly) and still have some left.

2. eBay 

eBay is good for getting samples or travel-sized perfumes. I will check there first for all blind-buys. If I really love a pricey perfume, I will check for travel-sized items. When I got it into my head that I had to have at least a sample of True Religion's Love Hope Denim,, I went to eBay.

Got 46 instead of 45
of these cards

I have wanted to try this one for ages - but only because I've heard about how wonderful it is. Never having tested it out, I sure don't want to spend around $120 for a set of the fragrance (that was on Amazon) or even around $50 for a 4-piece gift set when it comes back in stock on Walmart. (What is absolutely insane is that I think those sets from each site are the exact same! Shame on you, Amazon!)

Imagine how happy I was when I got an eBay alert that there were a lot of 45 carded samples for around $10. Yes, please, I think I will. Even shipping was free. (Always add "free shipping" and "free returns" to your search criteria. And read the seller ratings.)

Do I care that this is not the bottle size of the fragrance? Nope. Do I care that the samples are in those little cards? Nope. Matter of fact, I love the idea of being able to tuck one of those little vials into my purse. For some perfumes, I even prefer the vials. A bottle is nice for displaying on the vanity however perfume shouldn't be stored in constant light and temperature changes. I keep all but a few of the vials in a box in a dark spot in my bathroom pantry. I divvy the rest between my purse and the medicine cabinet and I hand some out to friends, neighbors, and the staff at the hospitals.

Now that I have gotten to try this perfume, I know that I wouldn't mind having more when I run out. If I had hated it (as has happened with more than one blind buy), I was only out 10 bucks and some aggravation. 

By the way, I don't know if anyone else has noticed but... samples always smelled better than the retail bottles. At least, that has been my experience (I'm looking at you. Glossier...)

Anyway.

Now, to show how economical samples are, I found that a single vial of the LHD lasted over 2 weeks. That was with me using it about four days a week. I would sometimes layer it with something else or just skip a day but... I don't think that is too bad for $10. Plus, now that I have played with it, figuring out where to apply it for the best effect, and learning what other scents layer well with it, I won't be wearing it constantly. It will just be in the rotation. I think this collection of vials will last at least 6 to 8 months. Sometimes, I go days loving one scent and then switching to something else. It depends on my mood.

3. Decants

My favorite way to get affordable fragrances is to shop for decants. I personally prefer Scentsplit. I have found them to have a good selection and affordable prices. There are many other similar sites. I suggest checking with Redditors to find which places are legit.

I've gotten several items from Scentsplit over the past 4 years or so. The last perfume I got there was Citizen Queen from Juliette Has A Gun because a full bottle was running somewhere in the $140 neighborhood. I can't even drive down those streets... I got an $18 5ml sample and I'm glad because I don't like it enough to miss any meals over. 

the 6ml size is no longer on the 
site...???

The only warning I will give about Scentsplit is that you don't rely on their idea of which scents lean more male or female and the site only shows as for Male/Unisex, Female/Unisex, and Unisex. They usually get it wrong anyway. Always check Fragrantica or some other resource. 

The inventory changes constantly so you have to check back if you don't find something.  But I do love Scentsplit because of the variety of sizes and prices they offer. If I know I love a specific perfume, I might (depending on the price) go for the 9ml bottle. If I am sampling from a name I like but the actual scent is new to me, I go for the 5ml. If I'm doing a total blind sample, I stick to the 1 or 2ml size. 

1, 2, 5 & 9 ml

4. Reddit

Now, I have not used this avenue but... there are lots of Redditors who do buy/share/trade deals. I have run across a couple of Redditors with Etsy shops who seem fair and legit. For now, I will stick with eBay. By the way, there are subreddits specific for sharing. I tend to haunt 

5. Liquidations/Closeouts

This is another system I have only been told about. Of course, a lot of sites require buying in huge lots. Actually, I think this is where a lot of the eBay items originate. I guess one way to use this system would be to buy things you personally like and sell off most of them via eBay or elsewhere. Again, this method is not for the fainthearted, light-walleted, or me... Just for peeking, I went to this site and was just... Wow. I learned of something called "shelf pulls". I am pretty sure that my NEST fragrance and these LHD cards came from somewhere like this. And I bet you all the money I don't have that a lot of eBay sellers shop these liquidators.

6. Old School Charm Method

I have not done this since living here where there are no major cosmetics or department stores. However, when I lived in Arizona, Texas, and Alaska, my favorite place to browse was Sephora's, Ulta, and Nordstrom. A good attitude, a great outfit, and a fun personality will score you all kinds of goodies. It's like when you fly. If you dress and act a certain way, you are more likely to get bumped up a seat class if something comes open. 

In one Arizona Sephora, I got laughing a joking with a member of the floor staff who liked the outfit I was wearing and I walked out 30 minutes later with a couple of bags stuffed with all kinds of sample perfumes and cosmetics. This guy started opening drawers of samples and tossed handfuls into a bag. He pulled from at least 4 of those large drawers. I never even knew those drawers were there. Who knew a fun day at the mall could be so amazing for a perfume lover? I and every lady in my office smelled fabulous for months.

Anchorage is land-large but people small. You do a walk of shame anywhere on the down-low. Shopping the cosmetics stores, you will run into at least 7 out of 10 people you are sort of familiar with. The clerks in these places are friendly - well, almost all Alaskans are friendly. If you are nice to them, staff will always be generous with samples. The folks at the Sephora in JC Penney's knew me so well, that they only picked out certain samples for me! I only bought Oriental or Gourmand perfumes at the time.

6. Miscellaneous

I have joined subscription services on a trial or off-and-on basis to get smaller bottles of perfume. Some that I have tried over the years:

• Luxsb subscription ($15.95/mo) -  This was the most recent one I used and gave up on. I like the wide variety but they seem to think too highly of themselves. I hate that most are "premium" priced (an additional $5 on top of monthly free or "ultra-premium" (an additional $10).  In my opinion, it's better just to go elsewhere for a decant or travel-size at a cheaper price. Also, if you. like most people, join using a coupon code, they require a minimum of 2 months before cancellation. And there is something tricky about whether or not you get the cute container. By the way, most subscription purchases and travel-sized fragrances will come with the containers. Or, or - you can find the containers online.
• Scentbird subscription ($16.95/mo) - they are decent. I do remember having some petty issues with them but I can't recall now what they were. I did like most of their fragrances. Check Reddit for feedback from other users.
• Frangrancenet - (bottles are marked as Fragrance.com) I've heard complaints but I like them even though prices are higher than the same sizes on subscription sites. Another thing about the pricing is that not all perfumes can be found in a travel size. I will say that the prices are as good as anywhere else I've looked. I think the last thing I got there was Fahrenheit (because I wanted my pillows to smell like "fine-assed man"!) I think the 0.27 travel spray was almost $15. Not bad since a bottle of Fahrenheit costs 2 arms, 2 legs, and a firstborn. In dollars? That's anywhere from $120 to $170. For a bottle of smell-good? Nope. 
• Lucky Scent - this is one that is often linked to by Fragrantica. My issue with them is that it's hard to sign up for an account until you are ready to actually buy from them. Okay, fair enough. However, not having an account means that you can't build a wishlist. I like wishing... Additionally, I find that they have a lot of weird (or maybe I should say "niche") brands that I've not heard of. I searched for Dior and nothing came up. Nothing. Really? On the plus side, they do have sample sizes (around $5 for 0.7ml) of all the randomly selected items I clicked on.  Then again, why not just by a decant?

Although I shop on Amazon for a lot of things, I'm not too quick to buy perfume there. The stock and the sellers' integrity are too shaky. Perfumes are easy to cheat with and since it's not food, the sellers won't get into trouble for being funky. You cannot return most perfumes (because they are considered flammable/hazardous or some such reason) unless they are deemed broken or defective. I did get a sketchy bottle of fragrance and got a refund because, in my reasoning, stinky equals defective!)

In all honesty, these miscellaneous sources are best if you have a regular set-aside budget for perfume shopping. If you are like me and just like to add to your collection occasionally, it's better (again, just my opinion) to use eBay or get decants. I don't like committing $15-$20 per month to something as frivolous as perfume. I pay less than that for grocery delivery memberships. I like my perfume and I think it's wonderful (if not a sort of first-world emotional necessity) to treat yourselves, but... I'd feel better sending that kind of money to someone in greater need than myself. After a few months of stocking up on samples, I'm good on the perfume front for the rest of the year. 

By the way, if you ever wonder about the sizes of perfumes - you know, as in how many sprays you might get from a specific bottle size - check this handy guide.

Anyway, there you go, ladies (and gentlemen). There are options for us po' folk who like smelling delicious. Don't ever say I don't share info with you all.

(It took me a couple of days to write this one, guys. I hope it's coherent. My brain has been skipping school for the past week or so.)

Peace

--Free

DISCLAIMER: I'm not affiliated with any of the sites linked here. I am not offering business advice. This is purely a sharing of personal observations.

Are You Using Fragrantica?

 No? If you love perfume, you should be. 

(Check the images throughout this post for some of the Fragrantica features.)

Fragrantica is my best friend when it comes to perusing perfumes. When my best friend was alive, she was my fragrance guru. 

"Barbsie" became my fragrance guru about 3 weeks after we started working together. We were both known around work for how good we always smelled. (Not for how great we were at our jobs, mind you, though we both were!) We kind of bonded over our love of perfume and purses. She had collections of both that were enviable.

One day I mentioned that really wished I could find something that was as soft as my signature scent, Shalimar, but with more of a chocolate and caramel scent to it. Without blinking or missing a beat in her typing, she said, "Angel." The next time I saw her, she brought me one of her half-used bottles (she said she had a few!).

She was so right about Angel. I have not worn it in 20 years now but, back in the day, it was a staple. It smelled like Shalimar took a nibble of chocolate, and then had a big chunk of caramel before following it up with a few sips of a vanilla shake. It would have been my signature but I was loyal to Shalimar at the time. I wore Angel on the weekends to save my Shalimar for workdays.

These days, I (and my body chemistry) have matured past a lot of easy perfume choices. When it comes to reacting to any fragrance, my skin is moody. One day, I love all things honey, vanilla, and musk, and the next day, I want to smell like baby powder and new tissue paper.

For months now, I've been wanting to find something oil-based that I can love and wear mostly year-round. I thought I'd found it in Auric Blends Egyptian Goddess oil. It's lovely and I do enjoy wearing it but it gets on my nerves some days. It's like a person you are really fond of but their personality just hits you wrong sometimes and you try avoiding them. Also, the formula is not consistent. I have 2 bottles and one is much more fragrant.

Anyway. As I started saying before my mind went off on a road trip, Fragrantica is my favorite place for checking out perfumes, whether I'm buying or just browsing for fun. Such a large variety of fragrances can be found there and I really like having an idea of which notes a scent is based on. Mostly, I rely on the reviews. The people in the review section do not pull their punches. Sometimes, I get really excited about a perfume only to see someone's warning not to try it unless I want to smell like something your poor dog chucked up after it ate a whole roll of mint-flavored antacids. I think one review said something like, "Smells like an old lady. Not an elegant older lady with taste but like an old lady wearing an unchanged Depends and loving it." Damn.

Recently though, I did find a perfume oil that is going to be a part of my life for as long as it smells as lovely as it does right now. It is Madagascar Vanilla from NEST New York. My country bumpkin behind had not heard of NEST before seeing this oil on Fragrantica. And this oil is indescribably wonderful on my skin. You can see the Frangantica page for it here. Apparently, I need to start adding coconut to my list of favored notes.

What I really like about Fragrantica is that you can search for perfumes in so many ways. If you know what notes you like or if you're looking for something similar to a perfume you like, etc. For instance, when I wondered what might be a bit like the Madagascar Vanilla but a bit more affordable (because, honey chile, I can only afford that one in samples & decants!), I got several suggestions to check out. Most of them are super-affordable.

One other thing to like about Fragrantica is that it shows the year a fragrance was launched. That's important to some people. It's only important to me because I know that if a perfume has been discontinued, even if you can find it, it's probably going to be quite pricey.

Fragrantica has some downsides though. Since money is such an issue for most people, I wish there was a way to search within price ranges. Also, as I mentioned, the notes aren't always spot on. In a few cases, I noticed they weren't even close. And because I prefer checking reviews from people who actually use a fragrance, it would be nice to be able to comment on or reply to their posts. There is a forum but forums tend to be messy and unorganized. 

Overall though, Fragrantica is the best site I've found for getting info on various perfumes. There are similar sites. Here is a page for finding some of those sites. You can also search out other "competitors" of Fragrantica. 

r/Perfumes  on Reddit is where I go to ask for suggestions on perfume dupes, pricing, decant and sampling sites, etc. This is where I learned about using eBay for finding rarities, vintages and fragrances. It's thanks to a great seller on eBay that I was able to score several samplers. This is how I found tiny bottles of Madagascar Vanilla (that, in total, equal a 6ml travel-size vial) for around 18 bucks instead of paying almost $40 - or almost $100 or 30ml. And I'm pretty sure the samples came from a NEST liquidation from the way they are labeled and marked...

perfectly sized for a
small purse.

So, yeah, if you are into fragrances, you might want to be into Fragrantica. 

By the way, the Frangantica page for a fragrance will link to a seller search page - eBay, Amazon, or some other site. It doesn't always land right, but, there ya go.

Peace

--Free

**CROSSPOST** A Rebel Without A Clue (or How Evil Succeeds )

 **CROSSPOST**

 For years, I have heard many theories about evil. Some of them assume that greedy and controlling governments are out to enslave the rest of us. Some assume that there is a war between the rich and poor, the Haves and Have Nots. Some assume that there are supernatural forces at war.

Of those A, B, and C choices, if asked, my answer would be D: all of the above.

Think of what has been said about the Devil's greatest trick. I always heard the first quote but only heard the other in the past few years.

“The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist”—Charles Baudelaire

I always thought that was the most correct until I heard this one: 

“The second greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he is the good guy”—Ken Ammi”

 Ah! That's the one that fits the world we live in today.

I wonder if it isn't highly moral (and "believers in a higher power") people to whom the first quote most applies and Atheists and evolutionists (highly moral or not) to whom the second applies.

One thing is for sure, Satan was smart about splitting people into different camps. He pits people of differing worldviews against one another.

As a Christian, I find unloving criticism to be an easy trap to fall into. When I hear evolutionists so glibly talk their language - about millions of years and evolving humanity - I have to sometimes grit my teeth. I'm sure that they feel the same way about my beliefs.

So the Devil's greatest trick is taking our eyes and thoughts off of the "big picture". He has us seeing and thinking in a compartmentalized way. We see issues in society or politics or education or finances as separately ruled. We see black and white and American or European or Asian, Indian (American and Eastern). We see our struggles as a group or race or nation - not as a whole and connected human existence.

All the issues that concern us as the groups we divided ourselves into are part of one big puzzle - or maybe all individual pieces on one big gameboard. While we focus on the one pixel, Satan is seeing a very clear picture of how to keep us fighting battles among ourselves.

But as slick as that trick is, Satan has one that is slicker: he has convinced people that he has a chance to come out on top in the end. And many, many people fall into his camp.

Smart.

As smart as Satan is, he has been losing the war from the beginning. As a matter of fact, to quote lyrics from one of my favorite songs, he is fighting a battle that has already been won. Why? Because those on the side of the Lord are redeemed.

Here's the thing, whether people choose to follow Satan or not, that's not the end of their personal stake. If they don't choose the victor, they fall into the lap of the lose (Satan) anyway. 

And Satan does not work under one guise. He comes in many forms. He's every god that is not God. He's god that tells you you can save yourself with your good works. He's the one that says that as long as you are not a murderer or adulterer or fill-in-the-blank-sinner, you are safe. He's the one that tells you it's okay to serve him and whatever other god you choose.

Satan is a disease that infects every good thing that we were given. Patient Zero was Eve. Since then, whatever we are given to enjoy, he bleeds in like a parasite.

Whatever we have that is beautiful, he infects it to induce feelings of self-worship and lust and aggression. Music, art, literature - all of it can be pure and beautiful.

When I was very young, I remember hearing a concerto on record. I didn't understand music or music theory. I just thought that the lush sounds of the instruments playing together were so amazing. That music made me feel indescribably peaceful and happy. Not more than 5 or 6 years later, I heard a song that made me feel lustful and yearning. I didn't understand the meaning of the lyrics so I'm not sure why the song affected me in such a way. The song was "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye.

Think about David soothing Saul with the music of the harp. Now think about how music is used today to hypnotize and drug people. I wouldn't doubt that for most people born before there was the internet music was probably the gateway into a lot of physical sin.

Just as music soothed Saul, I have had music make me feel aggressive. I suppose that is why generations of protestors and activists have their music. Hippie/Folk music, Black Power/Black is Beautiful music, Neo-Nazi/Skinhead music. One kind of music to make you chill out, check out, get stoned, and get "free" (with sex). One kind of music to amp you up, make you "proud", make you get up offa "that thing". One kind of music to get you marching and fighting and killing, maybe.

Literature - as the art of conveying and expressing, of telling stories to entertain. That becomes words on a page to make you feel some sexual thrill or teach you new things about the thrills or make you not feel alone in the sexual thrills you enjoy.

Movies - literature set to moving pictures - has become a medium to induce some kind of pride - of gender, nationalism, race or culture. It's the medium once used to make "stars" of some people and fans (fanatic) of others. Movies made smoking look cool and fashionable. Movies took sex - of all kinds - out of the privacy and exclusivity of the sacred marital bed. Movies took the "sacred" out of sex.

News media and advertising conditioned and guided our daily decisions about everything from food to money to parenting. It tells us what is right or wrong - regardless of morals and propriety. It feeds us information it wants us to have instead of what is useful. It skews our ideas about politics and justice.

All of these things put a lot of power into the hands of a few. Power of entertainment, information, and lifestyle guidance.

When you have time to travel down some deep and winding rabbit holes, go and read up on a few things for yourself. I can suggest some starting places:

• Edward Bernaise and why we eat bacon and eggs for breakfast.
• Music's effect on the brain. Music's effects on plants and sand and water.
• This from Truthstream Media on the subliminal messages some of us were subjected to for years.
• Go search out other subliminal messages.
• To see just how much the Satanist Aleister Crowley has affected today's culture, check out the book "Children of the Beast" by William Ramsey.
• Do a search on how the Nazis incorporated black magic and the occult into their ranks.
• Look up something called "Lucifer Publishing Company", Lucis Trust, and what it has to do with the United Nations and education curriculums.
• Look into the origins of Planned Parenthood and the eugenics and racism behind it.

I suggested some of these searches simply to get you to get used to looking up information of things. We are a society with a lot of "surface knowledge" of things - like being familiar with a name or brand - without having any idea about the origins of such. I know people who consider themselves extremely racially proud but are clients of Planned Parenthood. 

For years, before I was saved, Huey Newton was a hero of mine. It wasn't until I got past all the hype that I realized his communist connections. I was a rebel without a clue.

Peace

--Free

P.S.: forgive any sloppy spelling or grammar. It took me hours and hours over 3 days to get this written and I am too tired to do any more editing. My brain is having one of its days...

A Big, Beautiful Belated Gift!

 As you have read here, I lost my very best friend earlier this year. There are days when I still go to dial her number before I realize that I can't talk to her. In the middle of a recent night, I woke up from a dream about her. I couldn't remember the details but we were sitting together somewhere, talking and giggling like kids. I woke up still smiling but then sat up the rest of that night, crying and depressed.

This birthday was my first without her and in September I won't get to call her and do my silly-girl rendition of the Happy Birthday song. I used call her and sing (this is me so calling it "singing" is  hilarious!) in the style of Whitney or Cyndi Lauper or - and this was fun - Prince. She loved it and she would rate me 1 to 10 on style, vocal range, and lyrics (because I always threw in some made-up lyrics).

So I was missing my friend when another friend who I haven't heard from in a really long time called. "Fawn" tracked me down through that evil Fakebook and got my number by tracking down another friend. We all used to work together waaaay back in the day. It was so awesome to talk to someone I knew when we were both younger and sillier. She'd known my mother and sister and I'd met her when her daughter was just starting elementary school. 

Fawn and I spent a couple of hours talking. She's just come through another rough time in life. We talked about that and about happy things, then we talked about the people that Death has snatched away from us. There was one person we both were especially close to when the three of us worked together. I had to break the sad news that I only just found out this year that he too passed away a couple of years ago. It was sad to talk about but it was comforting to do so with someone who also liked him so much. 

Sometimes, you have to talk to someone else to get a sense of tim e and reality in relation to your own existence. As we talked, Fawn texted me some recent photos of her "little" girl and it was easy to forget that I was looking at her granddaughter and not the daughter I once knew. 

We have of course friended each other on Fakebook but she's on there about as often as I am. So now we are to stay in touch via emails, calls, and texts. She might even come to visit me soon.

Before we hung up, I told her for probably the tenth time how glad I am that we have reconnected and then she said something very sad. She said that she was also glad because she was tired of trying to make reconnections too late. Like me, she had not known about that one friend who passed. When I told her about my best friend's death back in February, she was shocked and we realized that the last time we'd been in touch was when I was staying with my best friend. They'd not known each other very well but I'd been the brief bridge between them.

One of the best stories Fawn and I recalled was about going to Anchorage's famous Chilkoot Charlie's. I was staying away from hard liquor and got drunk off beers that kept magically appearing in front of us. I didn't even know you could get drunk off beers! When we were done for the night, I was teetering across the lot in four-inch heels to go lock up my car before calling us a taxi. Sober, I could walk on ice in any kind of shoe but I was not sober that night. At some point, I missed a step and slid damn near four or five feet. I almost kept my balance. Almost. When I hit the ground, my skirt slid up around my waist and I had gravel burns on my butt. Other than that the only thing hurting was my pride. Good thing I wasn't hurt because Fawn could barely help me up for laughing and sliding around in her own heels. I'd hit the ground so hard I think I sobered up.

Fawn and I have quite a few good stories. Funny stories and ones about near-tragic happening and ones about work. Oh, the stories we have about working as customhouse brokerage employees...

Reconnecting with someone can be a lift to the spirit. After I talked to "Fawn" I realized how much we all need our connections. I'm set in my ways and tend to joke that I don't have the time, energy or patience for new friends. That is true but it sure was wonderful to find an old friend. We have texted each other probably 30 times since we talked that day. Just getting a "Hey sis, how're you?" text in the middle of the day makes me feel better. And I loved sending her a text last night to ask her to mail me her lemon cake recipe. She once made me the best lemon cake I have ever tasted.

If I never use Fakebook again, this is one time I was thankful for it. I don't use social media for deep friendships - if that is even possible. Letting someone see you only at your cutest or when you have all your sh** together is not friendship. Pretending to someone that everything in your world is beautiful at all times is not friendship. And I'm sure it's tiring. That's got to be like getting married and trying to never let your partner see you sick or catch you tugging at your bra. Tiring. And inauthentic. I was tempted to marry a man once because he washed my hair and helped me into the bath after I'd caught a stomach bug and threw up all over his floor.

Not to beat y'all over the head with the Bible but...
this is good stuff.

When you know and trust someone enough to tell them things that you can never tell anyone else, that is friendship. When someone's text can make you feel better, that is connection. When someone is there when you are burying your mother, that is friendship. Fawn was there for me even when we were miles apart during some really major moments in my life. I was there for her moments. How the hell did we ever lose touch? I don't care. We found each other again.

There is a passage in the Book of Job, that, to me, speaks of real friendship. 

Then they sat down on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights with no one speaking a word to him, for they saw that his pain was very great. (Job 2:13)

That is the kind of friend I want to always be and the kind of friends I have had. To just be there, not having to speak but to just be present in some way.

So, even though I've blogged a lot lately about all the fun shopping I did for my birthday (and am still getting gifts from my big and beautiful family), hearing from Fawn is my favorite gift this year. My prayer is for everyone to have at least one good and true and loyal friend. And remember to call them, text them, or shout into the other room how much you love them. Do it while you can. Just this month, while a niece and I marked our birthdays, we lost another member of our extended family. I'm so glad he got to come home to say his goodbyes.

Peace

--Free

(The Follow-up) To Cut or Not To Cut

 It has been several days now and, let me tell you, I am loving this short hair I'm rocking. Well, I am loving it now...

The first couple of days after making the final cut, I was a bit manic and bi-polar about what I'd done with my hair. I'd love it for 10 minutes, then I'd be Googling "how to make a wig look like it's your own hair" and "are weaves hard on your natural hair?"

Thankfully, I adjusted to being so close-cropped. Now I don't know if I will ever go back to longer hair. There are pros and cons to either style.

• I can easily twist longer hair. Twisting elongates my curls and produces a variety of styles.
• I can easily make thicker Bantu knots with longer hair. I love wearing Bantu knots. It was the best way I stayed a bit cooler during the hottest weather before, you know, I CUT OFF ALL MY FREAKING HAIR. 
• I could pull my longer hair back and/or up with bands and clips when I was lazy about styling. Or, for a cute style,  I could twist my hair into rows halfway and pull the rest into a band.
• Hair this short is perfect for lazy people.
• With this short hair, I can still make Bantu knots. They are tiny but not bad-looking. I can also separate and twist my hair into rows but I have to secure and lock down the ends with metallic clips.
• I can style my short hair in more ways than I thought I'd be able to. I can smooth it down on one side or, if I want, smooth all of it down with some holding gel. That's a tricky look to pull off though. Do it wrong and you look like you're wearing shoe polish on your head or like a cat's been licking your hair.
• Sleeping on my short hair is a, um, dream compared to when it was longer. I don't have to worry about my short hair being so mashed out of shape in the morning. I can get up, spray in a little conditioner and get on with life.
• My short hair requires a lot less touching up during the day. There is not enough of it to get messy or for the wind to blow. 
• Shorter hair makes my gray now look more interesting and pretty and not just distracting.

Yeah. I can get down for a while with this short look. I did have to go back several times and snip off some of the stray pieces that I missed the first few times. I think I have it evenly cropped now.

(My cousin asked why this bottom pic looks like a graduation pose! LOL)

I am also pleased that I didn't have to buy any styling products right away. I'm such a product junkie as is that I found what I needed in the bathroom pantry.

I need this curl cream to
get back into stock somewhere soon...
It's amazing.

I think I really needed this big chop. To be honest, my hair did need this. What little hair is left on my head is so soft and healthy. No more damaged sections to hide or split ends to worry about. I don't even have to detangle it after washing. There is not enough of it to tangle! And when I said that sleeping on it is a dream...

The first night I went to bed with the new cut, I was a little lost. I didn't need to spend half an hour putting styling my hair into twists or worry about not twisting it and having to pull it back with a ponytail holder. Nope, none of that. I just... laid down and went to sleep.

That next morning, the only reason I needed to use a conditioning spray was that one side of my hair was flatter than the other. Also, the spray just smells so dang good.

And, guess, what? It was so much cooler today with this short hair -  even though temps got to over 86 degrees. That sounds lovely and would be if the humidity didn't shoot up to 73%. There are days we hit 90 degrees and 80% humidity.

When I feel up to it, I will practice doing some Bantu knots and twist-outs or twist rows. It may not look like there is enough hair left to work with but go look up something called "natural hair shrinkage". Some of the photos are hilarious but true. Your jaw will hit the ground.

Anyway. The cut is here and happening. And maybe shorter hair is the way to go now that I'm over 60? ~shrug~ Watch me if I don't get a t-shirt that says "Short Hair, Don't Care"! 

Peace

--Free

UPDATE - I had to take a photo for a family album the other day. I did both filtered and"natural" shots (I was trying to slide my age back a couple of years!). I thought I would share some just because my hair is growing out and I wanted y'all to see the progress.

I don't know why I look wasted.
I was just tired, not high...

One of my brothers asked
why I look so mean in
photos. What?!?!?

P.S.: For days after writing this follow-up, I was still snipping off stray strands. Every time I stopped to admire myself in a mirror, I'd see one or two little hairs that needed scissoring... I have a feeling that it will be a week or more before I have this short 'do totally neat and cleaned up! But I do love it, yes, I do.