Taking A Breather

Folks, I am just a little bit worn out. I'm going to take a couple-three days away from the blog. I want to rest up (a lot) and work on the book project (some) and just not spend as much time here or on G+. I have a kid coming into town in a few, and I need to rest up for this crazy child of ours.

Now, you know I am too nosy and a wanna-be-all-up-in-it kind of person, so I will be back.

And because this is what I do when I get lazy, I'm going to leave you with some nice, mellow, gorgeous-as-heck Sade...

She's pretty, can sing, seems nice. Man, I want to hate her, but she's just too smooth so I can't. This is my girl.

Peace
--Free

Music Flashback: A Triple Flash

(I guess I should title these posts "Musical Flashback," but, oh well. You all get it.)
Too tired to post so here's a couple of my faves from back a while ago:

And for the BFF's peeking in on the blog: don't freak; I am just tired and listening to some lull-time music, not depressed or anything.  ("T," I know Amel's song brings back memories, good and sad. I love you, sis!

To end for the night, we can't forget Mr. Davis. I'm okay with but not a freak for jazz, but I like this. I like it a lot. I'm going to let it put me to sleep.

Peace
--Free

A New Obsession (Bath Bar)

So, I am doing something that I don't often do: plugging a site. Sorry. Can't help it. I'm in love with the products over there.

Everyone who knows me knows that I have two shopping addictions: purses and perfumes. With current finances being a bit um, er... bleak, I don't get to indulge as much. But. I have a great fam and lovely friends. I usually get a gift or two right around this time of my upcoming birthday. LOL

When I was told by one of my friend's (who is too lazy to shop for my gift) to look around for something I might like to have, I happened across the site I have to tell you about: Bath Bar. It's where you can order lotions, scrubs, perfumes... all kinds of goodies - in a scent you get to customize. How cool is that? And I don't mean you get to throw together something and pay three arms and a stem cell for. (I've seen those other sites...) The prices at Bath Bar are really decent. (So decent that I don't feel bad at all for putting the site on my birthday Wish List. I told my one friend how glad I am that he hates shopping since I found the site this way.)

Here's what won me over big time: I had a question about a product, so I emailed in. Let me tell you what - I not only got a lickety-split response, but I got it from the actual owner, Kristina Vogel herself. (I didn't know this at the time, but she's kind of a big deal as a make-up artist. You wouldn't believe how sweet she came across in the email. This is a lady who takes her business seriously but with a side of fun.)

So..... What did I get to order? Well, just a really nice mix of scents that I hope will replace all those OTC scents that last about as long as it takes me to finish dressing and get out of the house. I am loving the idea of the essential oils because that's got to last longer than the alcohol-based crap at the discount counters of some stores.

At any rate, I do suggest you cruise over to the site and look around. It's pretty cool that the shipping is extremely reasonable (you know how we Alaskans are about that) and - I love this - you can get sample-sized orders in case you are trying to play around with a scent mix. By the way, there are products for both genders. If you men don't want to shop for the ladies in your life, go ahead and spoil yourselves.

I wish I felt a bit more coherent today so I could be sure I'm getting across to you how cool the Bath Bar site is. I will end by saying this: I'm going to put Bath Bar permanently on my list of Places I Want Gifts From (In Case Anyone Asks). LOL

Peace
--Free

P.S.: And, in case you are wondering, I did not write this post because I got any kind of free products.

Peek Or Boo?

I am sitting here still laughing about something that happened really early this morning. I have a guy friend who is often out of town. Depending on where he is at the moment, I can call him up when I am sleepless (and I usually am). Sometimes he will text me to see if I am sleepless (and usually I am).

This morning when he called, I was glancing over the trashy celebrity news I just love. I mentioned to him something about a certain pop singer and her recent nude pics and teased that I'd send him the link. He just about yawned the Grand Canyon. "What part of her ass haven't I already seen?"

I flashed back to something I used to tell our girls about not making themselves cheap. Back in the day - what - like 15 years ago, when the kids were around 20 or so - I'd tell them what I'd been taught about leaving a little something to be looked for. These days (and probably back then too) no one has to look hard to see what a woman's got going on. I personally feel like I could consult with a gynecologist on behalf of half the female celebrities out there today.

My friend, as a man, says that he is very turned off when a woman shows off her assets to anybody with a pair of eyes. I think that's true for most men I know and I have four brothers.

Now here's my question: if men are so "turned off" by a woman's cheap ways, then why are so many of these chicks getting press? Somebody is looking at the photos and it can't all be gay women, right?

I asked "R" about this and he had to laugh. "Yeah, well, I didn't say we men don't like to look."

Well, well, well.

LOL. I've never tried to put together the puzzle of a man's mind, but it does amuse me to look at the pieces every now and then.

I let "R" off the hook. I can't say a thing when I talk about loving a man's mind and heart and soul, but just about lose my mind when Denzel flexes an eyebrow or Keanu unbuttons a shirt.

And, by the way, just before my friend hung up, he says, "Ah, so where was that picture you saw of ____?" I sent him the damn link.

(Kind of a lazy post, but I was up too dang early. I'm going back under for a short nap!)

Peace
--Free

I ❤ This Family of Mine

My fam all chipped in and for an early birthday present, I got a....

... new laptop!

Wow, huh?

I got so excited. I had to pee the minute I saw it. Just went out to get out of the house and to "look" around the electronics store with some fam. Was asked what the laptops on display looked like. You know I love gadgets and I browsed around as if I had money in my wallet. Saw this baby and I fell. in. love.

Guess what? SURPRISE!!! Happy early birthday to my cranky old ass.

Hell yeah.

Maybe this is because they felt sorry for me trying so hard to write on the old one - that I had trouble using with the rigged-up keyboard and mouse after I caused some water damage... Maybe they felt bad that I was always so frustrated because, with my concentration problems, it was throwing me off when I had to load so many different programs separately because of the sluggish RAM and processor... Maybe - and here is what I think might have done the trick - they decided I needed a computer faster than snot rolls down a third grader's face. I guess it doesn't hurt that they know how bored I've been and that working on the book is a huge mental boost. New computer = no excuse not to get more writing done. Or = I stay out of their hair when I get bored and needy for their attention. Hmmmm...

Whatever.

I got a new PC!!! In the words of that dimbo Alexis from Real Housewives of the O.C.: "It's so pre-wee!" Heh heh..

See you guys later. I have a new laptop to figure out.

Peace
--Free

To Parents

How ridiculous is it that I know someone (either personally, very personally or by some association) who, in the past 2 1/2 to 3 months who:

• Has committed suicide
• Had a friend/family member commit suicide
• Has attempted suicide (more than once in one case)
• Has a child with severe problems 

What's in common in all this (other than the obvious) is that these people felt that they couldn't talk to their parents (or, in one case, couldn't talk to their kids, I guess).

I'm not the most emotionally stable person in a crowd of millions, Lord knows. I've had some rocky times, especially in these last several years. What I do have is someone to talk to. Some things I can talk to my sister about, some things I talk only to one or two of my BFFs about. There are some people I can't bring myself to talk to - not about anything deep or seriously personal or troubling. But I have had someone.

Right now, I know of one young person who is dealing with some very sad and depressing feelings. She has support. I know of about 4 young people who are dealing with just the everyday worries and struggles that come with life. What breaks my heart is that they feel they cannot talk to their parents. That puts the other people they can talk to in a strange position.

I was very lucky growing up. There was nothing I couldn't talk to my mother about. I don't mean that I had no problem in telling her every and anything, but if I had a serious problem - one that affected my emotions or mental state - I could go to my mother. Her love for me was greater than any shame I might feel. Thank God, thank God.  Of course I was embarrassed to talk about some things, but she somehow made it okay for me to deal with that hesitation. (It wasn't like we didn't have the awkward "Mom, do you ever have that not so fresh feeling?" moments. By the way, I always thought that was the stupidest commercial ever made...)

I believe that adults sometimes forget that kids have problems that are serious to them. We have to deal with things like bills, mortgages, college funds, putting up with bosses, spouses or jobs we loathe and other crap. A kid having a first-love fall apart or not being liked by classmates, failing a school subject, worrying about their looks, their smell, their personality, what to do after high school or college - whatever it is kids worry about might not seem like a big deal to us. I think we forget that to a young person the things they worry about weigh on them as heavy as the things we worry about. A burden is burden when you are the one carrying it, no matter how old you are.

The reason I worry about some of the young people I know is because I have personally had more than one of them tell me that they don't like talking to their parents. That scares me. I usually say something to the parents, but in some cases that's no big help. 

One parent I know very well, probably doesn't think this is a big deal, but he has a personality flaw. He's just one of these people who (intelligent as he is) has a huff-and-puff impatience that permeates every pore of his being. I can't imagine his child being comfortable talking to him. I just don't see it. This parent is one of those people who seems to feel that what he can do and be, anyone can do and be. In his mind, here are no barriers to achievement of anything. This is a great attitude. For him. It's served him well. But, good God in Heaven, his kids feel so unable to live up to his expectations. And they don't feel they can talk to him.

This particular young person I know told me about a pretty minor little problem he is having. He isn't sure about a decision he needs to make. I told him to see what his mom and dad thought. His answer to that is what made me write this post. He said, "My folks? You're kidding, right?" And he laughed, but it was the least funniest thing to be said. 

Parents - or whoever you are to a young person - please, please, please open your eyes, ears and hearts. Listen to your kids. Let them know there is nothing they can tell you that will make you not love them or want the best for them. 

My mother was one of those people who knew her kids. A lot of times when I needed her, I didn't even have to open my mouth. She knew me and loved me. She could take my emotional temperature just by thinking about me. Maybe that's a gift some parents have. I don't know, but I think that you can learn to be better in parenting.

I'm so tired of hearing about babies killing themselves or not reaching their potential just because no one heard them.

Peace

--Free

Bad Mood, Nice Day

Woke up feeling crappy, but went out to turn on sprinkler & noticed our tulips in full bloom.

~sigh~

Peace
--Free

Ethnicity & Food

Okay, I'm going to piss off a lot of people, but I will go ahead & say it:

Black people (in general & especially) need to eat healthier.

~waiting for hail of stones to stop raining down~

Now that I've gone and put it out there, let me explain what I mean.

Not all black folk eat unhealthily. I know a lot of black (brown, taupe, tan, deep chocolate,etc) people who do watch what they eat and understand why they need to. That said, I also know a LOT of "us" who still use the excuse of "Grandma did" to eat things that are so bad for anyone: lots of pork and "drippings," red meat, salt, salt and salt. I am not joking when I say that I knew an older woman some years back who actually ate salt sandwiches. Did you hear what I said? SALT sandwiches. She would cut up a raw onion, some tomatoes and literally coat this in salt and make a sandwich. Seriously. (She is dead now. Died at around 58 years old.)

My mother was an "old school" foodie - she ate a lot of green stuff, cooked and raw - but she had that salt habit. Salt and pepper were her seasoning staples. She also ate tomato and onion sandwiches. She didn't coat them with salt, but she did use salt.

When babies were born into our family, some of them teethed on pork gristle. Yeah. Kind of gross, but at least there was no salt involved. Yet. (I have one niece who has been a chicken-or-fish-only gal for about 15 years & if I really want to make her ill, I remind her that her teething was done on a pig ear! LOL)

The biggest excuses for a lot of poor eating habits, no matter what your ethnicity is, is: "Mama did it," "It's a black/German/Puerto Rican/Polish/etc thing." Like La Nostra Cosa (hope I didn't mangle that). Yeah, and sometime "Our Thing" will kill your ass. As deadly as it it cool-sounding.

Our family "thing" with food has always been a lot of variety as long as it's battered, buttered, fried or salted. Or all of the above, damnit. I got better about my eating habits as I got older (mostly out of shame), but until I was around 20 and got married, I ate a lot of delicious and bad-for-you food. My first husband was from a country where the food is bland but the people live for-freaking-ever! I'm from Texas. Take a look at what I can tell you about:

Homemade cakes (Pound, Chocolate, Pudding)
Fatback (deep-fried and eaten just like that, drippings poured into vegetables as a seasoning)
Grits, rice and hot cereals (with butter - lots of butter)
Hominy (which is the only "grits" we ate without butter)
Eggs, eggs and eggs (scrambled, sunny-side, runny or hard-cooked - as long as they were salted and sometimes, believe this or not, buttered)
Pork (chops - breaded or not - bacon, skin fried or pickled and funky - aka CHITLINS)
Breads (rolls of all kinds, corn-batter, hoecake, corncake, fried, grilled and sun-cooked)
Greens (always with drippings, salt and a hunk of that damned fatback)

Do you see what I mean about good food & bad habits? It's a joke among black people that we will waste no part of a pig. "From the rooter to the tooter." I mean, seriously, we eat the feet, tails, ears, ass and freaking guts. Ya know. That's not a diet, that's damn near an addiction. I remember the stench that hovered over the kitchen whenever the family sat around cleaning "chitterlings" (my British ex-husband actually called them by the proper name & I damn near laughed my ass into a fit every time he said it. He kind of liked that nasty shit. Ugh!) If the smell of "chitlins" didn't put you off any food until the smell of rotted ass died down, I don't think you can be cured of Pork. You almost couldn't fix chitlins without have the neighborhood knowing. I think the only reason folks eat that mess with so much hot sauce is to give their senses something else to concentrate on while they eat it. I'm sorry, but, damn.

Some food that I heard my parents talk about might not have been bad for the health, but it still just didn't seem right for humans to eat. Let's visualize what "Rocky Mountain Oysters" are, shall we? They are bull's balls. I promise. Apparently, my Grandma Jack just loved her some R.M.O. (What's really nasty is that I hear they have a gelatinous texture. Ewwww!)

But back to my original point. We (meaning anyone who grew up eating unhealthy foods) have got to do better, people.

One of the reasons given for a bad diet (other than the old "Good enough for Mama" excuse) is that "Mama" and her mama & daddy  ate the way they did because of poverty. Okay, a lot of people (especially in this economy) are still feeling impoverished. (And trust me when I say that I can teach you some creative ways to spell "broke.") That's still no excuse not to do what we can. Guess what's free? NOT adding so much salt. NOT adding so much (or any) "drippings." Not cooking everything in a batter or butter or fatty oil.

Guess what else? Not being a diabetic, amputee, kidney patient is cheaper than anything. We can make all the jokes we want about people having "Sugar" (diabetes) and "Salt" (high blood pressure), but that shit isn't even a little funny when it hits home or heart. I know firsthand.

With that little mammy-made rant of mine over, I will say this: I've recently learned that it is possible to do better. And it's not as hard or expensive as we'd like to think and in some ways is cheaper (go price a pound of butter if you don't believe that). It's not easy though. Breaking life-long ways and habits is never easy. Just trying is better than nothing at all.

I recently learned that I can eat my vegetables without curing them in salt. I am having a hard time getting used to eating so many vegetables, but my goal is to eat vegetables as much as I used to eat meat. I'm not giving up on meat (I'd be out of mind to swear off Lucky Wishbone forever!), but I'm not making it a part of every meal as if I can't live without it. I can and of I get any sicker or broker, I will have to.

For Memorial Day, I had a two burgers. One beef patty during the barbecue we had and one Portabello mushroom later when I went back for more. It wasn't bad at all. I consoled myself with the fact that I could have just a thin beef patty but a fat-ass mushroom burger! I think it's partly in the seasonings and partly in the mindset.

As I try new vegetable dishes, I tell myself what my former mother-in-law told me was an old English joke for the newly married virgins: "Just close you eyes and think of England." That never fails to crack me the hell up! I just close my eyes and think of life not on dialysis or in and out of a hospital.

Good eating, everyone. After a couple rough days, I'm having a lucid one so I'm off to work on the book.

Peace
--Free

Music Flashback: 1982

Who hasn't felt like this at one point or another? I used to listen to this song and just feel like, "Ohhhh, why???" LOL It's a great song to cry to when you just need to sob through some stress.

Take a listen.

(Oh, and that face he makes when he's really hitting the notes? That's the exact same face I'd be making when I sang along. In the car. Where people could see me. I didn't care.)

"What About Me?"

Moving Pictures

Now, go, have a good day. And don't make that face!

Peace

--Free

Chew On This

(Yeah, corny post title, I know, but...)

As you know, I am trying to eat healthier - doing a lot of fresh veggies (juiced & steamed), fruits and good grains. I've even cut out a lot of the meat I have a hot romance with. (I had a dirty dream about Lucky Wishbone's burger & fries last night.)

The reason for my dietary change is that I am not in the best of medical health right now. This Sarcoidosis and the meds are kicking my ass. Also I am vain. Seriously. I don't like having this skimpy hair, fat ass and inability to strut my stuff. Hard to strut in "sensible shoes" - or in any shoes when you're liable to walk into a wall. So what is a chick to do?

Number one, I am trying to follow doc's orders. No smoking (ohmigoodness, that is a pain in my butt), exercising (yeah, yeah, yeah) and, on my own initiative, the food thing. Plus, after the whole Live Below the Line challenge, I feel differently about cramming bogus calories into my mouth. Somehow, it's harder (not impossible, mind you) to enjoy a burger and fries when you realize there are babies who aren't getting good nutrition let alone some crap like greasy beef and potatoes fried in fat. (I am almost petty-pissed that I am so aware.)

Another motivator is that I feel like what I eat is the one thing I can be so totally in charge of. (To a limit. I mean, I'm not eating caviar with my whole grain toast points.) For about the same amount of money that I was spending on my meats and pre-packaged foods - not to mention my sneak visits to Burger King - I can pick up enough greens and rainbow foods to keep me full and feeling better. See, I've made things interesting by thinking in color.  (Screw some Skittles, I got my own thing going on.)  Check out my box of Crayons:

The "Greens" are collards, kale, spinach, peas, cabbage and broccoli. The "Rainbows" are the bananas, apples, oranges, carrots and my beloved mangoes. I'm even starting to get a groove for bell peppers that are not surrounded by ground beef and pasta. (Okay, I still miss "Mama's Texas Spaghetti recipe!) Next week I'm going to experiment with "Earth Tones" of mushrooms and beans. Someone told me about a killer burger made completely with mushrooms and seasonings. And I haven't forgotten my background beige/taupe with the tofu for fun.  Salt is a struggle so I try to be moderate. I love olive oil so that's no biggie.

I can do this. I just have to keep myself interested. I have a strange mind, but I have learned how to play with things to keep myself on track. Some folks claim a method to their madness, I have a plan for my peculiarities. Yes, indeed.

I have to remind myself that there are some hefty-assed vegetarians out there. I know a couple. So, I am watching the fruit - because of the sugar and other, um, reasons. Last night I went to bed full of some peaches and nectarines that my nephew bought me and I woke up a few hours later breaking Jesse Owens' track record to get to the bathroom. Learned something about that fruit: Mess around and eat the wrong thing and you better not take a deep nap. Be in deep shit in a very literal way. (I do put out too much info at times, don't I? Sorry.)

Anyway, I stumbled across an interesting video over on Hulu tonight while I was folding clothes. Really I  only queued it because the title caught my eye and folding clothes bores the snot out of me, but I'm glad I caught the vid. It made me feel like I am doing a good thing for my health. In case you want to check it out, here is the link & it's called "Chow Down."

Enjoy.

Peace
--Free