Love & Options

Gotta love the ideas people come up with...

Branded!

This ring is available from a site called The Cheeky. I heard about this over at Daily Mail and my first reaction was, "Well now, damnit. Why didn't I think of that?" Then I talked to a couple of friends about it.

BFF T (female buddy) loved the idea as much as I did. For a nansecond. She just about commandeered my PC to get to the website. "Oh yeah. Getting my man one of those." Then her brain hit Pause.

T and I are kind of tight, so when her brain went back to Play, I could see in her eyes what she was thinking. I had to agree.

What good is love without trust? What is trust when you have to brand your lover to keep them faithful? That was what T and I came up with together. Then a special male friend of mine showed up. Damn, if he didn't break it all down to a whole other level.

His wisdom: "Branding a man like that will make him want to cheat."

Do tell. (Like I said, this is a guy is a bit special to me.)

According to this guy, men like a challenge (yeah, yeah, yeah) so if you try to lock them down, they'll just have fun breaking the combination. Give them that ring, they'll come up with a chemical or something to even the skin out instantly. Plant a tracking device in their ass, they'll find a way to trick the technology.

In the end, I sided with my gal friend (in my head and some of my heart), but made sure to praise my guy friend for being so insightful. Truth really be told: I'm just way past wanting to do anything obsessive, possessive or lunatic lavish to keep a man. If we're good, we're good; if we're not, we never were.

Poor T, much as she believes everything she said, she admitted she can't get the Chris Rock line out of her head: "A man is only as faithful as his options.

Me? All I can say is, I don't want to be an "option." I just want to be real.

Peace
--Free

P.S.: This is so completely off-topic, you'll think I'm Sarc'd out again. I'm not, but I just found out from another friend that my all-time favorite actor - the world's greatest - Kevin Spacey, is on Twitter. You can follow him at @KevinSpacey

Now I can get back to my "Grimm" marathon.

Peace
--Free

How The Writing Is Going

Most of the people in my world right now know that I am attempting to put together a book of my essays. Most of these people know that I am: childlike and easily distracted as only a master procrastinator can be. When I focus, I'm a laser, but like I said, I'm easily distracted. Once I spent a whole Saturday playing something called the Falling Sand Game. Really, I did. So, yeah, most people avoid distracting me once I do start writing.  Most, I say, but not my friend Ruthie.

For about two weeks, I've been getting daily phone calls from Ruthie while I'm trying to write. These calls go about like the one this morning:

Ruthie: "So... how's the writing going?"

Me: "It stopped going when my phone rang."

"Don't you hate that?" Ruthie commiserates. "Man, I hate that."

"Yeah, so, um... I really need to-"

"Have you gotten an agent yet?" Ruthie cuts in. "You know you're going to need an agent."

(I need a good call-blocking app, I remind myself.)

"No agent wants me," I admit. "Agents only want writers who're already published or ones that fit some specific mold. I'm not published and I don't fit any mold. I am the mold."

"You're just tired of rejection," Ruthie tells me (because Ruthie knows all). "Writing is hard work. You need to concentrate on writing and have an agent to take care of the rest."

(Fact: Ruthie has never written anything other than nasty notes to her ex-husband's new girlfriend. She once wanted to start a blog but that required staying out of my business long enough to, you know, write.)

"Ruthie, I really need to go, I-"

"Tell you what, why don't I look up some agents for you?"

To drop Ruthie a go-away hint, I sigh really loud, as if I'm so busy writing that I didn't even hear her. That didn't work at all.

"I'm booting up my computer," she says, and I can hear her tapping keys. "I'm going to scout out some agents right now..."

I forgot that Ruthie wouldn't take a hint if it came with a cookie. I also forgot that if I lose my temper and bang on my keyboard, bad things can happen. I banged my fist on the keyboard. A really bad thing happened and I saw all day's writing disappear from my screen.

"Damnit, damnit!" I scream. "Now I've gone and lost everything I worked on today! See what happens when you call me in the middle of things? Can you please put a freaking reminder on your phone to not call me while I'm writing? Can you go scout that out, Ruthie? Can you? Will you?"

Ruthie finally got the hint. Of course, now I feel bad and can't focus on writing. So I'll just have to do something else until I calm down...

Peace
--Free

Super-Sized Stupid

I looked at this picture in this article and had to ask myself: "If I could, would I?"

A 1 million dollar shoe collection? Seriously? 

No, I don't think that I would. Even if I trade the word "shoes" for "purse" or "perfumes." No.

I swear, I think what's wrong with us all today is that we have no limits. We are a "super-size" mentality. Food, sex, cars, homes, shoes, clothes... Anything we can have, we want the biggest, most expensive, fastest, fattest, richest - just any-est.

I know that somebody reading this is saying, "So?" But it is a "So?" issue. It matters.

This is why people are starving themselves to be the thinnest. You know that centuries back, people were being gluttons to be the fattest. How silly are we? Women are risking surgery and other medical procedures to have the biggest boobs and/or butts and/or lips. And, wait though - sometimes people let freaks off the street or operating out of their kitchen sink perform these procedures! Like they're getting a relaxer put on their hair by Mr. Leo or something... Too bad there's not a procedure to force us to better use our brains.

I have seen the most ridiculous "news" stories over the past year about people being so damn silly with money. There was the one dad who bought his daughter an apartment that cost something like 60 million dollars. There were the two rich guys competing to have the most expensive yacht. It's as if these fools - rich, super-rich or freak-me-mama wealthy are trying to see who can spend the most money the fastest. One rapper was in a club, just fanning hundred-dollar bills across some stripper's ass. (In two years, I might get to read about his bankruptcy or non-payment of spousal or child support, right?)


Let's not just pick on the rich. Poor people are almost as bad, sometimes worse. People who don't have next month's rent are in the stores, just knocking each other over to buy tennis shoes for two- and three-hundred dollars. Or they are driving cars with more value in the rims than the car itself. Or - this was my favorite when I was in one small town a couple years ago: they are like the guy that had a Bentley (I am dead serious) parked outside his house - a house that looked like those tar-paper shacks you see in photo-essays about American poverty. A Bentley. A Pepto-Bismol pink Bentley. I didn't even know what kind of car it was until I asked somebody. Broke-ass, dumb-ass, embarrassingly stupid person.


Look even at the way we see food. It's already been talked about how we "super-size" everything (except our salads) when we go out to eat. What kills me is the way we have started using food as a status symbol. It used to be enough to be seen in an "exclusive" restaurant, but now we go another step. Now, we want be-jeweled food. I guess rich some folks can't just have a hamburger unless it's garnished with gold dust or dust of diamonds or some such! Or - and I guess this is if you're too classy for blinging out your food - there are the recipes using some outrageously priced meat or mushroom. Maybe one that only grows in the Himalayas every six years and on a full moon. Or meat from a cow that was fed caviar and grapes. People don't care as long as they think they are being "exclusive."

Personally, I want to be inclusive, especially when it comes to my food. I want to know that lots of people have eaten (and lived through) what I'm ordering. I don't want to be the idiot that gobbles down something exotic and new. Find out a few years later that the knot growing on the side of my ass is from some weird and unpronounceable shit I paid a lot of money to eat.

I don't know, though. I guess we started to doing these crazy things to feel more important than someone else. Now we can't stop.

Of course, this is the "broke-ass" me talking. Give me a few million dollars to play with and we'll see...

Peace
--Free

**REVIEW** Online Fragrance Sources

I belong to quite a few programs that let members try new products for free (in order to get honest feedback and, they hope, spreading the word about the product). Recently I was able to try out some online sellers of perfumes. I thought I'd review them for you - in case you love perfume as much as I do, but have to live on a tight budget.

I visited 3 sites and rated them based on how easy it was to navigate & use their website, what the customer service was like, prices (including Shipping/Handling), and overall value. Of course, nothing is perfect, so I looked for the biggest pros and cons, giving a possible of 5 ☺ 's. Here goes:

******

Bath Bar ☺ ☺ 
(I sort of reviewed B.B. before in this post, so I will keep it short here cos you know I already love them.)

Pros: 

• The customer service will "Wow" you & owner is amazingly nice.
• Ability to customize your own scent.
• A LOT of scents to pick from & mix and match.
• Good range of products to choose (shampoo to body wash)
• Super-fast help as close as an email.
• Website very easy to navigate.
• Excellent S&H costs (even to Alaska).

Cons:

• Not for the inexperienced. (Ask owner for help, please!)
•  Fragrances not as close to an idea one might have.

Bottom Line: I'd recommend Bath Bar in a heartbeat - just know your scents or consult with the owner first.

******

The Fragrance Shop  ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺

Pros:

• Huge selection of designer and "House" scents.
• They will replicate a fragrance from your sample. (Good for scent you can no longer find or buy.)
• Fragrances are "Pure perfume oil with no alcohol or fillers. Ever."
• The oil scents are long-lasting.
• Fragrances seriously as close to the originals as promised.
• Good range of products (including aftershave).
• Instant help via a "live-person" Chat system.
• Resources for understanding and selecting a fragrance.
• A "Fragrance Finder" resource.
• A Customer Review section.
• Excellent S&H costs.
• A Try-Before-You-Buy program.
• Top notch customer service.

Cons:

• Awkward site design
• difficult to locate "Account" & "Log In" tabs
• "Wish List" almost hidden far down on product pages

Bottom Line: A definite "Recommend." Site problems aside, these guys are my favorite.

******

Luxury Aromas (aka Golden Ventures) ☺ ☺ ☺

Pros:

• Nice selection of imitation fragrances'
• Oil-based product.
• Reasonable price for amount of product.
• Website easy to navigate.
• Fair S&H costs.

Cons:

• Scents are pleasant but not as intense as expected for "oils."
• Not "hot" or "cold" in any aspect - just so-so.

Bottom Line: I would recommend, but would give a stronger recommendation to The Fragrance Shop.

--Free

*REVIEW* Keratin Power "Hair Tamer"

***UPDATED***

Okay. I did the wash (no shampoo, though) and a deep conditioning so that I could see what the "curly" look was going to turn out like. Honestly? Not so good.

My hair is so dry at this point that I have to fall back on products I'd tucked away in a bottom drawer. When I say my hair is dry, I don't mean it's a little bit dry. I mean my hair is dry to the point of being horrible to touch. The look isn't bad, but who wants the look if it's killing the hair?

The straight look was a pain to achieve because of the extra flat-ironing to be done. Also, adding that heat to hair that the product already dried out... Whoo! Sahara Desert dry!!! 

The curly look is (to me) not as bad looking, but that dryness is still there. I liked my curls, texture and manageability better with the texurizer I had. I could do everything with the texturizer that I can (or should be able to) do with the Keratin product - plus, my hair feels and looks a lot better.

Yeah. I'll pass and stick with Soft & Beautiful's "Just For Me" product.

_________________________________________________________________

This was a campaign Bzz Agent invited me into. (I have told you all about BuzzAgent before, so don't look all lip-hanging sad when I talk about all the stuff I get to try - for free.)



The product we were given to try is actually called (take a deep breath!) "Smooth 'N Shine Keratin Power Semi-Permanent Hair Tamer."

Long name for a looong (but simple) process of smoothing the hair - without harsh relaxers.The no-harsh-chemicals bit is what nabbed me.

Lately, I've cut my hair very short. Prior to the Keratin Power, I have been using a texturizer and am wearing a short "Natural" (some folks used to call it as Afro). Texturizers do have chemicals, although they seem to be a lot more gentle on the hair than relaxers. This Keratin Power is a good solution that will let me keep my curls or wear a straight style occasionally. At least, it will allow for curls after the initial 3-day period of wearing it straight and not washing.

This process seemed super-long to me - what with the 8-minute rinses and the waiting required between steps. (I can have a relaxer or texturizer done in under 40 minutes.) The Keratin Power instructions are very well-written and very precise (though this caused a bit of confusion later on) down to when and when not to shampoo.

First step is the Strand Test which takes around 45 minutes. Next, a 5-minute shampoo. The rest takes just over forever - correctly applying smoothing treatment (wait then rinse for 5 to 8 minutes), applying neutralizing Milk (wait then another long rinse). This is not to mention the time it takes to apply the different parts of the product. 

At the almost 2-hours mark, I was personally wishing I'd been able to have this all done at a salon, letting someone else do the work because, guess what? I wasn't done.

The last part of the process is to blow-dry then flat-iron the hair. Even if you (like me) are opting for the curly style, this initial straightening has to be done - and worn for at least 3 days. I can't wait for Saturday so that I can get back to my wash-and-wear routine (I know, I know, I should wait until Sunday, but I have pics to take with the family). (I abhor - yes, abhor - flat-ironing my hair. Number One: I'm lazy. Number Two: It's stress on my hair.)

Summing up about the product, I'll say that it's a great system with some drying I really don't like. The instructions were excellent - except for the fact that there was no mention of the included pack of "Nourishing Deep Recovery Conditioner." The instructions were so precise about advising when and when not to use shampoo that I was surprised there was no mention of using the conditioner or when to use it. I stayed true to the product's directions and did not use the conditioner. Because it is a "deep" conditioner, I assume I should use it after this initial 3-day "curing" period. It is odd, though, that not only is the conditioner not in the directions but (I just checked) shown nowhere on product's entire packaging. It's not even on the list of  items enclosed. Odd. Probably just an oversight.

I would recommend the product to someone looking for a way out of using harsher products. (Actually, I already have. I've even handed out one of the coupons BuzzAgent provided. I am not sure what the general pricing is going to be but I have heard reports of it being somewhere in the $9.50 - $10.00 range, which is about average for such products. It will probably, as usual, be a couple dollars higher here in Alaska.

--Free

**REVIEW** Pedi-Spin

Brought to us by: Idea Village Products

What it's advertised as: the "Ultimate foot-smoothing miracle you've been waiting for."

Cost: $16.67 from Walmart in Anchorage. (Extra cost: 4 AA batteries not included.)

Product Website: Pedi-Spin (Note: It's one of those sites that tries to talk you out of exiting when you're ready to move on. Ah-noy-ing.)

My take:

Right out of the box, I liked the way the Pedi-Spin was made. It didn't feel "cheap" and it had a really nice shape for holding it. However, it was a bit irritating to put together. Ignore the written directions for inserting the battery and just go by the diagram on the product itself. It was not easy to figure out right out of the box (it would have been if I had ignored the directions).

The Pedi-Spin comes with attachment "heads." I had the ones for getting the really rough spots buffed away and some for the "finishing" or smoothing process. There was this odd head already attached that I never did figure out the purpose for (except being a pain to get off to replace with the rough spot attachment). I finally got the thing off (would have been nice to have some directions for doing that) and   managed to attach the rough spot thingie.

Now - I had brand new batteries, right? So why did the Pedi-Spin slow to a halt any time I put the barest pressure to it? It's as if it only moved at a decent speed as long as I didn't touch it to my feet. That kind of defeats the purpose, I thought. In case I was doing it wrong, I tried holding the gadget at different angles while trying to keep from wrenching my back. No go. The thing just wouldn't work the way I thought it should. It took me forever (adjusting pressure, changing angles) to get one foot somewhat "buffed."

The smoothing attachment worked a bit better - mostly because I'd gotten the hang of twisting myself into the right position to apply just the right amount of pressure. Still, I noticed a slowing of the rotation head as I tried to move the thing around my feet.

Basically, it was just a frustrating experience. I kept thinking that I could get any rotating gadget - maybe something from the tool chest - that would do a better job. Did my feet look any better? Yes, they did. When the thing worked, it actually did smooth away the rough areas leave my feet feeling smoother. Was the end result worth the cost and the personal irritation? Nope. I took it back and bought a $2.12 Ped X "European pedicure file" (Bassett Brands) that worked so much better and faster.  

My Rating: 

✔✘✘✘✘

--Free

A Thousand Words

I don't just read the Daily Mail for the trash. They do some of the best pics ever.

Folks thought the "End" was nigh after

seeing these "Mushroom"Clouds

(story)

My "End" would be near if I rode this.

(So many of my fears in one setting!)

-story-

(Of course, all photo credit to original sources.)

Peace

--Free

Waiting On The World To Change

Was on one of those loooong phone calls with a BFF tonight. She's going through some changes and it seems like every part of her life is in turmoil: man, money, mood. She called because she was pretty pissed off at a particular person and needed to vent. Says she's just sick to death of people.

I wanted to laugh, but I get it. I really do. People are so in-focused these days that I wonder if they realize they share a planet with others.

T was telling me that she had a great comeback for the person on her shit list. Something along the lines of, "Gee, let's see - I'm behind on my mortgage, my kid just got into some more trouble, I'm about to lose the guy I like a lot. Now you - you're way young, got a great career, you're kind of gorgeous, but because you can't buy this new outfit you want, I need to stop and rub your boo-boo? Um, excuse me, but what part of your world do I pay rent in?"

Man, I wanted to stand up and applaud! That is a classic mammy-made rant right there. I swear I'm stealing it to use the next time I get the chance. LOL I am just waiting for the right moment!

Now, please understand something - I can be kind of a petty person, but my friend T is probably the sweetest person I have ever known. This is a chick who actually and truly (I've seen it with my own eyes) prays on the spot for people who are rude to her. Well, I guess even a saint has a breaking point.

Of course, about three minutes after T finished her rant, she was reminding herself to chill out. (Me, ever the little imp, was egging her on. I wanted to hear some more good stuff like that comeback of hers! LOL)

But T is right, Another friend and I were talking recently about how it seems  that the ruder and more of an asshole a person is, the more respect they seem to get from others. When someone is nice, people tend to wonder why. When someone is a jerk, people think of them as someone who gets things done and gets things said. Everyone says the most admiring things about a particular jerk I know. "Boy, he really tells it like it is!" and "He's so fearless." Somehow people think that you have to be rude to be honest and brave. I'm waiting for the day this guy gets a little "honest" with the wrong person and gets his ass kicked. Thing is, he knows who to mess with and who not to. Trust that.

So, yeah, T and I had one of our marathon calls where we had to keep plugging in our phones to charge. We haven't done that in a while, but she had so much frustration to get out of her system. She'll probably be able to sleep pretty good now. Not me. I've had 2 cups of coffee and now that I'm off the phone, I have that song by John Mayer on repeat in my head: "Waiting On The World To Change." I don't think T cares if the world changes as long as a few people would.  I think a lot of us would settle for that.

Peace
--Free

I'm Back. Sort Of.

Well, I've had my few days of trying to rest and pull myself together. I was physically so very tired or fatigued or whatever, and I was a little bit depressed.

You know how you hear people talk about what all they would do if they didn't have to work or raise kids, take care of a family? I remember many, many times daydreaming about having all the time in the world to do only what I wanted.

Guess what? I have all kinds of free time because of this damned disabling disease and I'd give anything not to have it - the free time or the disease.

I didn't realize how much I enjoyed working until I couldn't. I liked the structure, the responsibility, even some of the stress. I was needed, depended on, had things expected of me, and had people counting on me.

Don't get me wrong - it's nice to have time to write when I want to, to clean when I want to - even in the middle of the night when I can't sleep - to cook, nap or go do errands when I want to. It's nice that when I've been up half the night, I don't have to blur my way through the whole early morning ritual of getting ready for work.

It's all so nice, but I don't like it. I don't know if it's that lost feeling of not having a label or just feeling always so useless. I have said it before and I still feel it strongly - I like having a named purpose. I was a wife, I was an employee, I was a friend who could help out. I might be whining in high pitch a little. I mean, I can still be a friend and help out when I'm feeling alright. Most of the time though, I can't do anything more substantive than listening to someone's problems - and even that really tap-dances on my last nerve if I am in a mood.

So.

What I do is what I can manage, depending on the day, hour, moment. Earlier today, I kept my little nephew busy while his mother cleaned. I went and sat outside and wrote for a while (for the whole 32 minutes the clouds decided to let the sun peek out). I puttered. I puttered some more. (And it's kind of sad that, after years of seeing the word, I now understand what it means to "putter." Don't ask and hope you never find out.) Now I am killing some time with the blog. I did some housecleaning of the other blogs and I was going to add some features but felt no motivation whatsoever...

Damn this disease. Damn broken marriages. Damn kids that grow up and don't need you to kiss their little boo-boos, teach them to tie their shoes, cook or properly sort, wash and fold clothing. Damn.

The other day I was kidding around with a friend and he told me he'd marry me if he didn't think I wanted a husband just so I could be a wife again. That's kind of ha-ha funny until you think about the truth of it. Probably that's the reason so many women (and men) stay in abusive marriages - just so they are not "un-wife'd." I'll be brave and raise my hand to admit that's partly why I stayed.

I thought about trying to do something new and fun to keep myself occupied until I realize I have plenty of things to do, I just need to get over myself and do them.

Un clou chasse l'autre. Nah, I know not one syllable of  French and can't remember how to pronounce the phrase, but a friend once told me this means "life goes on." And it does.

Yeah.

Peace
--Free

Memories Are Like Moonbeams

Briefly coming out of rest mode to share something.

I love this from the movie about Bobby Darin, "Beyond The Sea." I love old big band type music. Love Bobby Darin. Big old crush on Kevin Spacey from way back in his "Wiseguy" days. Love this number.

(Sorry bout the ads; I have no idea how to lose them!)

How great is that kid's dancing? The line he says at the beginning is, "Memories are like moonbeams, we do with them what we want." In other words, Darin isn't dead because his songs are like moonbeams that are going to be here forever.

Back to my cocoon now.

Peace
--Free