And Now, Arizona

Since I did a tribute to Alaska, I thought it might be nice to take note of what I'm going to look forward to when I get to Arizona. Here's a little impromtu Top Ten that will show you just how much television I've been watching lately:

10 -- Shipping and handling will be as advertised when I want to order that useless crap they like to peddle on late-night infomercials. No more reading the fine print to discover that it costs and extra 5 or 10 bucks for us Alaskans.

9 -- When I see a commercial for Red Lobster or Olive Garden, I'll actually be able to satisy my ad-induced cravings. We dont have those eateries here so I'm not sure why the commercials play every 30 minutes on local stations...

8 --I'll be able to scrape together money for plane tickets to visit all my family living in the rest of the Lower 48.

7 -- When I get ready to buy that laptop I've been wanting, I can take advantage of the free (ground) shipping Dell brags about.

6 -- If so inclined, I might be able to get my hair braided for less than the 250 to 300 bucks people up here like to charge. And lord knows I'm gonna be happy to go to a store other than WalMart to find hair care and cosmetics in a more varied range.

5 -- My Oil of Olay Regnerist (what I like to call my Miracle of the Moisturizers) costs 15 bucks and change at Targets instead of the dang-near twenty bucks (for 1.7 oz) I have to pay here. And that's at WalMart, people! I know about the Target price because I checked when I visited this past holiday.

4 --The next time my 4-wheel drive decides to take a little winter-time nap, I won't be calling Road Reports just to see if it's safe to drive around certain parts of town without sliding into someone.

3 -- All those writer's conferences and concerts and other such events I'm always hearing about? I might actually be able to make it to some of them. Yay.

2 --When I finally get up the courage (and this is gonna be a whole other post one day), I'll be able to cruise on over to Texas to check up on an old crush.

And --- somebody take care of the drumroll, please...

1-- When I get ticked aboutt poor customer service & threaten to boycott a supermarket, department store or some other place vital to my consumer needs, I'll be able to follow through. (Kinda hard to pull that mess in a place where there are limited shopping alternatives. The customer service personnel know this & usually just snicker at the threat.)

So -- yeah, I'm coming to you, AZ.

Words:
"I prefer being paid to tell stories over being despised for lying."
(Free 4/2006)

Tags: Top 10, Alaska, Quotes, Culture