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Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Rude & Crude (but funny as heck!)

I got this in an email this morning. I don't usually read these types of mails - the first few lines make me want to tap the Delete key. For some reason, I read this one & I'm sorry, but all the "lady" went right out of me & I laughed my butt off. (I have no idea where it came from, so I hope I'm not stepping on toes here.)


Sometimes...
when you cry...
NO ONE sees your TEARS.

Sometimes...
when you are in pain...
NO ONE sees your HURT.

Sometimes...
when you are worried...
NO ONE sees your STRESS.

Sometimes...when you are happy...
NO ONE sees your SMILE.

*
*
*
*
*
But FART!!
just ONE time...

Don't front. You know you're laughing with me.


Sexiest Man List

I have to do this list, people. My niece and I have a big argument about once every six months about Brad Pitt. She thinks he is THE sexiest man alive. I don't get it. Never have. Maybe he's one of those people with a vibe you pick up on if you meet him in person. My niece had never met this man. She wears glasses, so maybe she's just needing a new pair (for the last 5 years!).

Anyway, she (my niece) and I have decided that the reason I don't find Brad Pitt sexy is because of a generational thing. I'm older, so I'm not feeling the whole Usher, Jay-Z, and most anybody with all that grill/gold crap in their mouths. Maybe.

So, back at my niece, here's my list of Sexiest Men (in no particular order):

  1. Denzel. Of course. He's got that natural & easy kind of charisma. I hope I never meet him because I would probably embarass myself badly. Let that man flash that smile at me & watch the knees buckle... Down she goes. And I like the family-man thing he's got going (with a wife who is like a "real" person & not some plastic, Barbie-doll imitation of womanhood. Lucky, lucky her.)
  2. Keanu Reeves. I don't know. Just something about a man who doesn't seem to pretend about anything. I like the look: handsome & flawed-not-airbrushed. He's got those wonderful eyes and a great smile. He doesn't seem fake & he doesn't seem to be trying to live up to or fit into all that celebrity b.s.
  3. Will Smith. I don't know. He's got the silly, sexy, playful mix going on. And another family man (although I heard a disturbing rumor about a belief in "open" marriage...? That would ruin some of the fantasy for me, but...)
  4. Puffy. Or Diddy. Or Daddy. What is he calling himself these days? ANYway. I like that combination of bad boy/smart. Let this man get a little bit older and settle down some - that's going to be hot.
  5. Maurice White. Y'all know how I feel about Earth, Wind & Fire. I have loved Brother White since I was 14 or 15 years old. Broke my heart that I never got to see E,W & F in concert. Maurice has the wiseman vibe about him. He's so calm and proud of his Blackness. It's probably a good thing I never made it to a concert when I was so young. I might have done something undignified, like throw my draws up on the stage! But now that I'm older and calmer - I could love Maurice right. Black love, y'all. I'm on a roll.
  6. Tyler Perry. Who doesn't love a writer? Plus, he's tall. That's just interesting to me.
  7. Prince. Why? Have you heard this man sing "Adore?" Good mercy. Anybody that comes up with lyrics like that... I always did like his music, but he got even sexier to me when I heard him do Bonnie Raitt's "I Can't Make You Love Me."
  8. Steve Harvey. I LOVE this man. First of all, he cracks me up. Second, he kind of "country," like me. I just know he's a good time.
  9. Babyface. He's really sexy, but he's too manicured for me to want to hang out with. I don't mind dolling up for a night out, but day-to-day, I'm a blue jeans, sandals, t-shirt gal. I don't do makeup and hair gel, so I probably would always feel way under-dressed around 'Face.
  10. My former brother-in-law. Yeah, I was the kid sister, trailing around like a love-sick puppy whenever my sister's boyfriend came around. I was just a kid, but I just knew I was in love. It cracked my sister up to see me swooning whenever David came around. My sister is 10 years older than me (so is David), and by the time I was 12, I just knew that she'd stolen the man who was meant for me. When they got married, I was the flower girl. David kissed me on the cheek at the reception & I was in a mental time warp for the rest of the day. To this day, David is like family. Last time I talked to him, he called me "sweet pea." Ladies - there's nothing sexier than a man with a southern drawl calling you "sweet pea." Trust me.
So that's my list. I'm dying to hear back from the rest of you. Who's your "Sexiest?" (Supa, you KNOW I want your list! But you can't include the D.A. from your court days...) Maybe next time I'll have to do my "Un-sexiest" list. You know Brad Pitt's going to be at the top of that one.

--Free

Word & Music - all together tonight:
"I will love you anyway/even if you cannot stay..."
(Rufus - "Sweet Thing")
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