Friday, May 05, 2006

Arizona, Chocolate and Heat

Just this minute got my internet up and running.

It's been such a crazy transition that I spent three hours this morning thinking over what my "new" life here feels like. Since I'm tired, I'll just give a little freestyle rundown & save my usual wordiness for another session. Please forgive the bad writing. I'm so tired that if I weren't so happy about being "connected" again, I wouldn't be writing at all.

Take these thoughts into your hearts and be happy for me.

The heat is both annoying and sensual. Makes me feel like being somewhere cooler, but also makes me feel sweet in my Blackness and makes my skin feel at home. I slink around in the whispers of the sun on my body and just know that my soul was born in a tropical place.

The men are amazing. The smile, stare, flirt and appreciate - not at the chick behind me with blonder hair, lighter skin or different colored eyes - but at me: Black, black, hot, sexy, got-my-hair pulled up, no make-up on, mouth sticky with dark chocolate that I've started "feening" for; skin feeling smoky and smelling like Tuberose oil...

My family is together. I can call them one moment & be with them ten minutes later. We can have lunch and parties and tease each other like when we were kids not separated by life-distance-issues.

My house is more home every moment. I've made friends with the backyard birds, the frontyard neighbors, and I wave to my mailman. I sit on the porch and have thoughts that only writers are able to have when they are in a place that is made for writers.

I am miles from the place that was so "home" to me for so long. I miss it, but I know that the time for being at home in the Land of the Midnight Sun has passed & I am feeling good-anxious-lost/found-renewed and glorious in this new land. The sun has a different attitude here. I have a different attitude. I want to learn how to swim.