Thursday, May 07, 2009

Learning to Be Free

Soon, I am going to be making a new start. I mean, a complete new start: new place, new job, new everything. The scary thing is that I might have to do it alone.

When I think of this, it frightens and exhilarates me. It's frightening because it's so overwhelming. It's overwhelming because I'm talking about starting from scratch. It's exhilarating because it means breathing again.

I've been living the past year in a sort of limbo. Holding my breath and waiting, waiting for things to right themselves. Now I've realized that nothing is going to "right itself." I have to set things right. I have to take a step, make a move. And that brings me all the way back around to being frightened.

The only part of my plan that is sure is that I know where I want to live. I just have to take a deep breath and pull everything else together.