- Will you "yummy mummys" please go away with your rubber-band bodies? The media have overloaded the rest of us with your useless wonderfulness.You have a baby and, two weeks later, we see your naked ass all over Instagram and Twitter. I am speaking for the rest of us who are a little fatigued of seeing your 110-pound bodies (where the tits account for 10 of those pounds) all over the news. With the exception of a few ladies (who just happen to have stolen the metabolism I had in my twenties), you gals forget to mention the staff of "Personals" you have helping you make the rest of us hate you: personal trainers, personal chefs, and those folks you hire to keep you away from fattening food the way you hire other folks to keep you away from drugs. Get out of my face.
- You celebrities who like comparing yourself to soldiers and policemen and even (~sigh~) Jesus... Will you stop already? When you can honestly say that you personally rescued someone or laid down your very life for them (without calling the paparazzi to record the event), then I won't hurt myself doing an extreme eye-roll the next time I hear you bragging about making it rain in a strip club.
- This one is a little random, but touches closer on us "regular" people. Let me ask all the international vacationers to be a little more courteous to the citizens of the land you're guests in. I am so embarrassed when I hear about the way we Americans act away from home. Keep it up and the next time I go somewhere out of the country, I'm not going to correct people who assume Alaska is part of Canada. And for the folks visiting us here in the U.S., please treat us the way you'd want us to treat you. I'm not going to call out any specific people here, but I will just say that being rude does not make you look classy, educated or above the rest of us actual mortals.
- (To the ladies) For those of you who like to whine about the poor quality of men in the world, why not try being a better person yourself. I believe that we attract what we signal for. I'm not saying that there aren't some bad apples out there, but, if you don't talk but scream like a banshee, dress like you just don't give a damn, and act like a skank, well... Don't be surprised when you attract guys who wouldn't be ashamed to have you as their woman. And please stop judging a man by his wallet. If he's got a job, he might only need a good woman to work his way to the "de-lux apartment in the sky-y-y". If you do get a jerk, hope that your friends wonder why you are with him. By the way, there are lots of jerks with great jobs or lots of money. Who the hell wants a jerk? Oh yeah, a skank gold-digger.
- (To the guys) Please start wearing your big boy pants again. If you like a woman, don't wait for her to break the ice. When you break the ice, try to be a gentleman about it. Wolf-whistling and making a comment about a woman's ass is not the way to go. (Well, not most of the time.) And please stop rating women only by the way they look. Haven't you ever been attracted to someone for their smarts, their quirks or sense of humor? Well, you don't "see" all that until you get past the makeup, hairstyle and Victoria's Secret magic. One more thing: before you start looking for Miss Universe, take a good look in the mirror. (That also go for the Plain Janes looking for a Channing Tatum.)
- (To the kids) I'm talking to those of you in your teens - thirteen to nineteen. You are young. Be young. Enjoy it because you're going to miss it when it's gone. Stop trying to be as stupid as some adults who think that being "gangsta" or "hard" is a good thing. Being stupid is not a good thing - for the young or old. Try being smarter and kinder. Shoot for setting trends that will make a positive difference in this world. Get your education. Enjoy the paid-for roof over your head. Talk to - no, listen to, all those "old" people in your life. They are part of your history and you, someday, are going to need to share that with your kids.
Maybe the only resolution any of us should make is one that is easy to accomplish: to just be better today than we were yesterday. I can handle that. Can you?