Sunday, May 19, 2019

Nightmares and Ramblings

Well, it's 1:34 in the morning here and I'm so awake right now that I might never sleep again. I just had the worst nightmare. I figured since I'm up, I might as well post about it. Lord knows I'm not going to be able to shut my eyes even to blink right now...

I have a thing about sleeping with the bedroom door open. It was so hot when I went to bed earlier that I left the door open to let the AC circulate better. Never again. I'd rather sleep in a hot sauna. I haven't had a bad dream in so long that this one left me shaking.

Don't you hate not being able to remember a dream? Not me. Not this time. I can remember every detail of this one. In the dream, my little nephew was visiting and we had fallen asleep watching television. I woke up (in the dream) at one point to catch the kid eating chips. I made him put them away and we went back to sleep. I woke up again to the sense of being in danger. I get up to check out that windows and doors are locked and that there isn't a crazed killer lurking anywhere. When I go into the living room, the dogs (because, in the dream, I have 2 dogs) are cowering on the couch and watching the sliding patio door. Of course, it's in my nightmare that I have cute dogs and a patio. I'd love to have a patio. I could have indoor and outdoor plants if I had a patio... Anyway, I go over to lock the patio door and notice that there are a couple of strange snarling dog-wolf-kangaroo-looking predators outside. They look like they are trying to sneak up to the door. Now I'm really creeped out. I'm trying to lock the door but can't. I open it a little, slam it, and try locking it again and can't. Leave it to me to finally have a patio only for it to have a busted lock. I decide that just having the door closed will have to be enough (maybe somewhere in the back of my brain I realize that the weird animals outside probably can't open a door) and I go check out the rest of the house. In the bathroom, I can tell that the shower has recently been running but there's no one in there. Also, my nephew is now not in the dream. This is a good thing because I feel like I'm about to run, piss myself, and lose my mind all at the same time and I couldn't add the task of protecting him on top of all that. I get the idea that turning on lights would solve all my problems so I start going around, flipping on switches. And, oh goody, in addition to having a raggedy ass patio door, apparently I have lights that no longer work. Of course. All that I can think to do now is pray but I can't make my voice work.

At this point, I wake up from the dream. And, trust me, I wake up praying.

Now, I know what triggered the nightmare. For one thing, I had gone to sleep right after listening to some horrendous details in a crime podcast. Also, I think my subconscious was freaked out by having that bedroom door open. The first thing I did was get up and shut it. Then I texted my niece - mother of my nephew - and make sure that he is okay. She was kind of pissed that I only asked about him and no one else in her home. Doesn't she understand that she was never in danger of my crazed dream?

So now I am up and drinking coffee and I can't stop thinking about this nightmare. I wish I was talented enough to draw the images I dreamed of. Or maybe not. I don't need reminders of crap that scares me.

I will not be going back to sleep anytime soon. When I finish this post, I'm going to find the most colorful, cheerful, and childlike movie I can. I wish I could watch the old Zoobilee Zoo videos we had when the kids were small. I could really use a good Ben Vereen strutting around as Mayor Ben in that crazy costume he wore.

Does anyone else remember Zoobilee Zoo? Our kids used to love it. I once took my 3-year-old twin niece and nephew to work to babysit them while I finished a three-hour assignment. Popped in the video and they never bothered me for more than snacks and potty breaks. When my sister found out that I let her babies watch that much television I thought she was going to disown me. Man, I miss Zoobilee Zoo. I just found out that the videos are on YouTube!

I just watched that video and realized that Zoobiliee Zoo might actually give me nightmares...

Well, later today I have to attend the high school graduation of another of my nephews. Maybe that's what triggered my nightmare? All the "babies" of the family are growing up. I have this nephew graduating and a niece who is getting married later this year. Maybe I'm just a little freaked out by all this growth and change going on within the extended family? Or it could just be that I went to sleep with that damned bedroom door open.

It's nice and cool now because it's started raining outside. I think I'm just going to open the window and sleep with the light on.