Friday, June 07, 2019

Quick Post for Couples

It's late and I should be sleeping but... I just watched the most amazing series of videos. The series is called "Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage". BUT this is NOT just for marrieds. I think that it will be great for couples who are just seriously dating. The speaker is a pastor BUT (yes, I know) the information is NOT just for Christians and the pastor makes that clear at the beginning. The message is about communication and passion (he talks about sex, people) and the things that cause problems in those areas.

I just finished the last video and, even though it's late, texted the link to all my coupled nieces and friends. I think everyone can get something from this message.

By the way, did I mention that the speaker really is actually pretty funny? His delivery can be a little over the top but he made me laugh. And think.

Here is the first video. The other parts will follow on auto-play or by hitting the Next arrow. Enjoy and share it with everyone.


Cursed for Cursing?

This woman has been touching my heart for years.

NOTE: I was not well when writing this post. I just glanced back over it and... damn, I need to pay attention to Grammarly! I have no time do corrections now. I just wanted to apologize. (This is why I try not to re-read finished posts.) Peace.

Every time I think that my best friend and I have discussed everything under the sun, we come up with something new. The other day we started out discussing our need to clean up our language. We ended that conversation trying to figure out what constitutes "bad" language. Fuck if I know.

Seriously. We are both Christian. Also, we both curse. A lot. I have joked that cursing is my second language. I worry that I joke about it. I should not be joking about something that is considered "bad" or impolite. It's no secret that I have a tendency to be repressed. That's what a churchy childhood will do. I'm pretty sure I could benefit from therapy. I've worked out a lot of my issues but I still worry a lot about my cursing.

Here's the thing though: what makes a curse word a curse word? Think about that for a minute and then explain to me how telling someone to fuck off is cursing them.

What my friend and I have come up with so far is that the only wrong words to use are words that actually curse people. I don't want to curse anybody. Not at the moment.

When I curse, it's usually out of affection or camaraderie.

  • "Fuck if I know."
  • "Bitch, please" (Some people substitute that hot-topic N-word. Applies also to the next item.)
  •  "Biiitch" (translation: "You seeing this?" or "Hey, girl, what's up?" or "No you did not!" TMTL too many to list)
  • "Mother. Fuck" (for when I've slammed my hand in a door or tripped and fallen or... TMTL)
  • "Sonofabitch" (same as for above item)
Now that I am looking at that list, I realize I use my choice bad words sparingly. That's a good thing, right? Notice that I don't use words or phrases in anger. My top fave of "bitch" is only ever used with close friends and in extreme affection. It goes along nicely with the word "heifer" (aka heffa). I think I probably curse the most when I am with a bunch of women and we are all being drunky d'drunk drunks. You know, after the 3 glasses of wine.

"strike"? huh. who knew?

I'm not perfect. I do have a couple of words that I only pull out in private one-on-one conversations - and when I know that I'll be forgiven later. Also, I don't think of myself as angry at those times. Those "discussions" are just passionate. As a matter of fact, I can't wait to have another heated convo just so I can use that amazing phrase I learned from an Aussie pal: "Fucking hell." Man! That right there is perfect for so many situations...

Anyway. What is puzzling me and my friend is why is it not okay to use certain "dirty" words (~feeling like I'm ten years old saying it that way~). What made the word "fuck" into a bad word It's just letters strung together like "sex" or "making love" or "ow, I just hurt my toes". We users have made it dirty. But why? Did we just need a word for sex that sounded hotter than the none dirty words for the act of copulating?

Oh, my damn, I think I accidentally answered my own question. Answer: it's not about the words. It's about the emotions words can stir up.

As soon as I used the word "copulate" I totally understood. There is no way in hell that a lover asking if I wanted to copulate with him would sound enticing. "Baby girl, I'm about to copulate you so good..." 

And that, I suppose, is why we need alternate words that are a lot more arousing. Talk about easy population control. Shit.

Still, I don't plan to give up painting a little color into my personal conversations. There are some topics that just need a pop of "no the fuck I did not" or "are you shitting me" (Okay, maybe not that last one. That's one you don't want to think about too deeply.Ugh.")

While I was typing this, I remembered a phrase my late uncle used all the time. His signature line about almost everything was "shit hell" Not "shit and not "hell" but "shit hell". Coming from my uncle, it sounded more like shit tell. He used it for every situation: "Shit hell, Bob, I didn't know you'd been sick"; "Shit hell, I lost my keys"; and "Shit hell, there are my keys". I miss that guy. He would lose his manners in public and tell his disapproving wife: "Shit hell. It's better to be in shame than to be in pain." Fuck yeah.

Just because I like my colorful words and phrases, that doesn't mean I know when not to use them. The first time I meet someone and we hit it off, I let them lead. If they throw out a hot word, I'll give my brain editor some time off. That's a great feeling too. That is a bit of a bonding experience. Like when you reach a stage with a friend where you can unbutton that top button after a meal. Or when you don't mind that they know that you sleep with your mouth open just a little. (Okay, that last one shows how uptight I can be.)

Well, I need to go call my friend. I need to know what she thinks of all this. Hope that bitch is home.