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Thursday, May 13, 2021

Y'all, These Shoes Here...

NOTE: This post is covering reviews for 2 different pairs of shoes. It's a long post so you can skip to the first review by looking for these hearts: ❤❤❤


Hi, my name is Free and I have really bad feet. Being over my recommended weight by quite a few pounds doesn't help. My fallen arches don't help the situation. So, yeah, that's my story.

Anyway.

I have a hard time finding good shoes that I can afford. When I was about to move here to Iowa and had a couple of flight connections and a really long layover in Dallas, I was worried about being able to get through the trip without crying over my aching feet. A friend bought me a pair of Under Armour sneakers and I was amazed at how comfortable they are. Best sneakers ever. So good that I got a second pair at one point. I still have both. However, Under Armour is pricey for me. Their slides are cute and slightly more affordable but I still had to put them on my Kohl's charge, I bought 2 pairs over 3 years and wore them to a nub. I'm too ashamed to even show photos of the last pair. I will not simply be throwing them out but will be wrapping them in a paper grocery bag so that no one sees them when I go to the dumpster. If I could, I would burn them. Or dissolve what's left of them in acid.

What they look like when new...

Even though I still have the sneakers, I save those for traveling (hah!) and walking when out with the family for more than a couple of hours, or when I walk for exercise. The slides were my daily shoe. I wore them inside and outside; to the store; to appointments, and on quick jaunts across the street to the Post Office or bank.

As I said, I finally wore my last pair of slides down to the point where I almost gave myself a heart attack. Seriously. I was walking from the bedroom to the bathroom and saw an Australian-type if spider-snake-scorpion thing between me and the bathroom door. For a minute, I couldn't breathe or think or-

Oh, wait. It's not a spider. Or snake. Or scorpion. It's a piece of fabric from the insole of my raggedy, worn-to-shreds slide.

Ha. Ha. Ha. Not that funny.

So it was time for new slides. But I really wasn't excited to pay 30 to 40 bucks for sandals that tend to wear out after a year. I could pay about 30 to 35 for shoes but not unless they were going to last longer. Unlike the sneakers, the Ignite slides don't even stay that comfortable after about 6 or 7 months. Not the fault of Under Armour that I got fat and flat-footed. But still.

I had to find an alternative. 

At first, I looked at a bunch of the trendy "Pillow" shoes. Nice but the reviews were iffy. And I really don't like the look of them.

Cheap but ugly.


REVIEW of the slides

❤❤Because Amazon tracks your every eye-blink, once I looked at several pairs of slide-type shoes, the Funky Monkey slides popped up on my suggestions. And, come on now, with a brand name like that, I had to go check these out. This is what I saw on the product page:

Not bad but...

"Umm... I don't know." That was my first thought. But I read reviews and looked at photos of other customers wearing them. 

I could afford the $18 price easily because I had set aside 35 bucks for shoes anyway. And I could always return them. In the meantime, I was wearing my sneakers anywhere outside and just wearing a double pair of socks for around the house. I dislike being barefoot. I ordered the shoes.

Now.

When the box arrived, I thought it felt awfully light to be holding any sort of size 9 shoes. I opened it and felt like crying. 

The shoes looked like some plastic imitation of a shoe that you could find in the 99-cent store in a bin marked "giveaways". They were so lightweight that I couldn't believe it.

I was ready to text my family that I would need to be going to Khol's to do a return. First, though, I wanted to put the shoes on to get a photo. You know, for the scathing review I would be writing.

I slipped into the first shoe and was so mad that I wasn't thinking. I put on the second shoe and-

I am not mad. Not at all.

These shoes, y'all. These shoes are like standing on one of those very firm but comfy chef's mats. 

I walked around the apartment - all 650 square feet. Then I masked up and stepped out to walk down the hallway. Then I went ahead and stepped out the doors to pace the paved walkway in front of the building. 

By the time I walked around the whole building, I realized I'd left my keys and phone inside and had to walk some more until a neighbor came by and could buzz me in.

People. The last time I walked in a shoe this comfortable was when I was wearing my UA sneakers. The UA slides had never been this comfortable. They had been a lot softer and they had fabric lining the insole but... They were not as well-fitting and comfortable as these $18 dollar Funky Monkeys.


Ignore the in-need-of-a-manicure toes

So, the straps are adjustable, which is nice, but the winning feature is how these shoes cup the foot. 


Remember the product photo? Did you notice the details of the insole?





Those are amazing. It's got to be down to the material of the shoe - the EVA (which I had to check the page for an explanation of):



Whatever the case, I like these a lot.

After the first couple hours of wearing them, the bottoms of my feet felt tender. The next day, after wearing them for about 5 hours, I was getting used to them. My feet were no longer tender from walking in them. I think the material needed wearing to soften up a bit. 

I will tell you what: these are much better, in my opinion than the "foam" in the Ignite slides. And I don't think that the support is going to wear out as fast because of the material - even under my weight. If these wear out before 6 months, they will still be a better deal than the UA slides.

(By the way, when my SIL saw these shoes, she actually asked if they were Birkenstocks. My answer: "Uh, you're not new around here. I am much too birken-broke to be rocking Birkenstocks!" The cheapest 'Stocks I've seen recently run around 50 dollars, not that I check on a regular basis...)

REVIEW of the  shower slippers

Because of the affordable price, I ordered the shower slippers which cost $14.



REVIEW of the shower slippers 

❤❤As with the slides, my first impression of the shower slippers was less than delightful. As a matter of fact, I actually initiated a return form after I had tried on the slippers. I had stepped out of the slides to try on the slippers and that might have something to do with my dismay. 

First of all, where the buckle slides have very firm support, the slippers are softer and looser. There is no way to tighten the strap across the top of my feet. Also, the material is different. Even though it is EVA (like the slides), the design is bubbled and, again, not as firm. 

After I was convinced to hold off on doing the return until after wearing the slippers for a while, I started to like them. A lot. 

I won't actually use these as shower (or right-after-shower) slippers. I will use these to wear around the house while saving the buckle slides for outdoor wear. 



Since I was testing these out, I wore them all day instead of the slides. I have to give Funky Monkey credit for making 2 of the best pairs of shoes I've worn in a long while. Keep in mind that these slippers are less than $14. 

When I was reading reviews for these slippers, I saw a couple that I want to mention. One said that they "sweat her feet". I didn't have that problem and the weather here is warm and humid. Of course, I wear these inside only. (And I do not have any sweaty feet problem with the slides.) Another reviewer warned that hers warped after leaving them outside overnight in warm SoCal weather. I don't plan on wearing or leaving my outside overnight. Also, another reviewer mentions that she likes wearing hers to the beach. I assume a beach is warm and damp. One reviewer claims that her pair broke/tore after a short period. If that happens before 6 months or so, I will pitch a fit and ask for a refund. I think I have until mid-June to return these but most sellers are pretty good about dealing with poor product quality. However...

 ☣ ☣ ☣

WARNING: I do want to agree with one reviewer who shows a photo of her wet foot slipping completely through the straps. She warns not to wear these around water. Strange because they are literally called "shower slippers". Well, I knew just from looking at them and wearing them with dry feet that I would never wear these for shower slippers.

 ☣ ☣ ☣

There's not much else I can say about either pair of these Funky Monkey shoes. Make sure to go over and read the reviews and weigh the pros and cons for yourself. I can only tell you why I like them. They are affordable , they are comfortable , and they are cute . I don't have any more to add to this review.

For Mother's Day, the nieces and nephews sent a bit of money for me to buy something for myself. They know their auntie so well! I paid bills with that money but next month, I might be able to get an extra pair of each of these Funky Monkey shoes. I might even go outside my usual type and get the slides in another color. I see that there is a "New Black" that looks more muted than the black ones I have. ~shrug~

Peace

--Free