Holiday Attitudes & Understanding

 This is just a reminder that the holidays are not always joyful for some people. It's not that they are "grinches" or trying to ruin your vibe. Some of us are dealing with recent grief or life changes. Holidays are often heartbreaking reminders of the people we have lost.

There was a time when I frowned on people being down during the holidays - even though I don't make holidays a special time for being happy. 

After having recently lost a very beloved niece, I am not enjoying this holiday season as much. Thanksgiving and Christmas were my niece's favorite times of the year. It was also when she would visit her family in the Lower 48 or at least be a bigger part of our lives as we shared recipes and discussed our plans.

I'm thankful and blessed to be here and I'm aware of what the focus of the season is - for us Christians anyway. But there is some pain at Gabby not being here with us. I often tell people who offer their condolences that we are happy for her but sad for ourselves.

If you come across someone who doesn't want to be social this season, don't think badly of them. I'm already a homebody but I have managed in the past to take part in holiday dinners and get-togethers. I didn't mind being coaxed to come out of my shell. Not this year. This year, I am spending the season in meditation and reflection and in a sort of delayed mourning. I will be praying for the people whose joy is cloaked in grief or sadness or despair.

This year, I look at the decorations and can only think of Gabby. I try to plan a special meal and wish that I could hear Gabby telling me about her ideas. I wish that I could call her and ask her again how she made that pie that was her specialty. I wish that I could send her a card. I wish that I would get that December 24th text at 11:59 wishing me a Merry Christmas. I wish I could call her on New Years' Eve to yell "Happy 2023, Gabs!" only for her to return the greetings to me 3 hours later.

It's a joyous season that reminds me I can't share the joy with Gabby.

So, be mindful of people's personal struggles always - but especially at this time of year. 

There are people missing loved ones. There are people struggling to feed their children. There are people struggling to stay housed and clothed and safe. Just be mindful that we aren't all equally blessed. Just be mindful.

I do wish everyone peace of heart and mind. I wish that, even in grief or sadness, everyone recognizes the blessings of life and hope. Just because we are said that doesn't mean we are not thankful. 

Peace

--Free