I Was Not Tornado Ready!

 We are were under a tornado warning right now recently. We were  have been for a couple of days. I have not been prepared, people.

(Um, I didn't finish this post the same day I started it so, use your judgment about the tense.)

 I moved here to the Midwest almost exactly 8 years ago. The first thing I worried about was tornados. We are so close to Kansas, like Palin said, I can see it from my backyard. Like Palin, I exaggerate. BUT Kansas is close and, technically, I live in Tornado Alley. There are tornado sirens and designated shelters. God help me.

Anyway.

When I first moved here, I was terrified of a tornado coming through. Once or twice, we had windstorms severe enough that my neighbors and I congregated in the halls (sturdy walls), ready to make the run to the shelter across the way. My neighbors were all so very nonchalant. Most of them used these occasions to catch up on local gossip. A few of them kept reassuring me that we haven't had "a touchdown" in years. 

I guess because nothing like that has happened for the past two or two and half years, I got comfortable. I was so comfortable that I was sleeping pretty hard this morning - even though we were under a weather advisory. When my phone rang at 6:37, I thought I was dreaming until the third ring. Yeah. 

The call was from my brother (he lives about 12 minutes away in the next town) asking if I'd heard the tornado sirens. I had not. I almost hadn't believed the annoying phone shrilling just 20 inches from my ear.

I snapped right awake, ready to panic. My brother calmed me down and said to just throw on some clothes and go back to sleep. That way, I'd be ready in case of "a touchdown".

"Back to sleep"? Crazy man... I was going nowhere near sleep again soon. I got up and made coffee. Then I tried to put together some things I might need to take to a storm shelter.

G.I. brat here. I'll be sleeping "ready roll".

The first thing I did (I mean, after making coffee) was to put in my dentures. That's a new consideration, right? After that, I dug out my backpack and threw in some essentials: Bible, wallet, sneakers, water, some feminine hygiene items, and my bag of prescription meds. This is when I realized I have no idea in which "place of important things" I'd put my birth certificate...

And that was also the moment I realized that I am not tornado ready. I mean, as far as having stuff in a "Go Bag".  Even as far as knowing where my very important birth certificate was.

Wow. I'd be a lousy girlfriend to Red Reddington, wouldn't I? He'd be calling for Edward with a "wheels up" alert while was running around, trying to decide which face cream to pack - or where I'd even put such a cream.

I kid. A bit.  But I did get motivated later on to find that birth certificate. Typical me. I find motivation in the strangest ways.

Even though I only took about 5 minutes to get my bag ready - you know, after I made coffee - I was not really prepared. For one thing, when I was grabbing meds, I forgot a really important one that I keep in the fridge. I also forgot to pack the syringes for that med. I also forgot to pack anything important to my vanity - other than the teeth. I had nothing for my hair, no lotion, no face creams, and no sunscreen. And, good Lord, I would never be able to get my perfumes into anything but a small carry-on bag...

Yeah, I am not prepared to get on the move in a hurry. 

Now that I am a little less frazzled, I am thinking about all those silly TV shows. You know the ones where someone has to get out of town quickly because of a crazy ex or maybe the FBI is on their way? (Like I said, I'd be a terrible chick for Reddington.) 

I'm with Floridians

There is no one I've ever known who could clear out the way those fictional TV characters do. I would never be able to leave that fast. Ever. Just for a normal, taking-my-time move, my hair and skin products alone require a separate logistics plan.

 I would need a couple of days, at least, just to think about which clothes to take. There would be none of that dumping a drawer into a suitcase for me. I can't just be willy nilly dumping things into a bag. I'm a woman who keeps underwear separated into "The Good", "The Bad", "The Ugly", and "Keeping Only Because I am a Hoarder".

Best bugout bag ever

Seriously, this tornado warning situation was a needed wakeup call - literally and figuratively. This is the day that I am going to put together a realistic Go Bag.

Stay Safe out there, folks.

Peace

--Free

P.S.: As I was posting this (with the tornado scare over - for now), we are under a heat advisory.... 🙄