Cootie Catchers and Life

Do we ever really grow up? I'm not sure that we do.

The other day, people here in Alaska received a $900 check, courtesy of the Permanent Fund Dividend. One woman I know (who is not wealthy or bill-free) spent the entire amount on a designer bag. A tote. Seriously. She went out and bought a Louis Vuitton Neverfull. And, If you ever read this post, you might not think I'd have room to criticize, but I was young and stupid. The person I'm talking about is old enough to know better.

The thing is, I'm not surprised that people spent their money on things like designer purses and big TVs because, while we all grow older, we don't all grow up. I believe that all of us, in some way, retain a schoolyard mentality.

When I was a kid, my friends and I wanted the latest or the coolest or the best-est of everything. As adults, we still want the latest phone or coolest car or best whatever. If we get a cellphone today and a new one comes out tomorrow, we are impatient for our upgrade. If we ladies get a Coach bag and our friends start carrying Pradas, we just have to have a Chanel or Fendi. It's like when I was in my thirties, had a great job and just had to have Edwin jeans for casual Fridays because Levi's were so damn common. A co-worker of mine (who probably thought Edwin was a boyfriend's name I'd sewn on a label) almost hurt herself going out to buy a pair.

If it sounds like I'm just picking on women, I'm not. Men are almost as bad. No - they're worse.

One of  my brothers is a car freak. He loves cars the way I love perfumes (and I love perfumes enough to marry my bottle of Shalimar). This is a man who makes good money and is smart with his finances. He doesn't give a flip what other people think so he's not into impressing others - except when it comes to his rides. The only time I've heard this particular brother of mine use urban slang is when he calls his cars his "whips." Lord.

Yeah, so we women might be little girls when it comes to our purses and shoes, but you men go all Peter Pan about cars and electronics. Hell, maybe even about perfumes.

This playground crap isn't just about material things. When we like someone, we want to fall into the old game of "I like you, do you like me? Say Yes or No." (Remember those little paper origami things called Cootie Catchers?) Within our close adult circles, it's the game of "She's no longer my friend, so why are you still talking to her?"

If we are a "football captain" or "cheerleader," we want to be the "brains." If we are the "Nerd" we want to be the "Hunk." And on and on it goes, where it stops, nobody knows.

Games, games, games. They're the same whether we're 15 or 50. The stakes are just higher. From schoolyard to nursing home. It's because we all have insecurities, we all want to be liked, to be loved and to be cherished.

So, maybe none of us ever really do grow up. I guess that just makes us what we are: human.

Peace
--Free

Post Script of two things:

1. I'm getting that freaking Vuitton bag. (As soon as Walmart starts racking them!)
2. I want to play Cootie Catcher with someone so I'm going to make one for the next time I see them.

The Happy Dread of the PFD

Well, it's about to be that time of year again. The time when it's advisable to avoid Walmart, Target, Costco, Sams, Best Buy, Toys R Us - and any other place that sells anything.

For those who don't know about the Alaska PFDs, they are not personal flotation devices (and, yet, for some people, I guess they kind of are - of a economic type). They are the Permanent Fund Dividends.

The PFDs are about to be deposited into bank accounts all over Alaska on October 3rd. People who receive the money generally lose their minds. The impulse shopping will commence. Or maybe I can't call it 'impulse shopping' if people have been sorta, kinda planning it from the second the amount was announced.

I was at the library two days ago when it hit the news that eligible Alaskans will be getting $900. People reacted in various ways. Some of them shrugged because they know what they have to do with theirs and it doesn't include the luxuries of saving or taking a vacation. (Mine, for instance, is going straight for medical bills and car repairs.) Some folks got on my nerves with their complaints about the "small" amount. Other people went right into shopping mode. I swear I saw the Amazon and Best Buy websites popping up on computers all over the library.

I use my dividend the way my sister and mother and I always did before. Needs come first, saving comes next, whoo-hoo last. (There was usually very little to whoo-hoo about.)

When the kids were still at home, my mother, sister and I would pool everyone's PFDs and use part for the house (paying extra on the mortgage or replacing a dying appliance). Part would go for stocking up the freezer with enough stuff to keep the kids in school lunches for months. The year that two of the kids decided they wanted to be the Dizzy Gillespie and Robert Mapplethorpe of their high school, we sprung for an band and photo supplies. (And the fees - you never count on the fees that come with any extracurricular school activity.) For our kids that were teenagers, we'd give them fifty bucks of their dividend to hold. If they were younger, they got a hotdog with everything the next time we were out somewhere. The rest of the money went in the bank.

We used to get criticized by some friends because we didn't give our kids their whole dividend. My mother shut them right up. She'd tell them that our kids got their dividend all year long - when we paid their medical bills and fed and clothed them. The love was free, but because we weren't their bio-parents, they weren't covered under insurance from our jobs. Let a kid break an arm and need the local E.R. You can go damn near bankrupt.

All our kids are grown now. The ones who live here and get a dividend are dealing with their own families to take care of. So far, they've remembered how we raised them and always use any extra money well. If we taught them nothing else about the PFDs, they know to avoid the stampedes going on outside every major retailer in town.

What do the rest of you plan to do with your dividend? Save, spend or split?

Peace
--Free

Money Is Loose

Well today is the day that a whole lotta Alaskans get their Permanent Fund Dividend checks. That's $3269 for each eligible resident of the state. (And, no, I'm no longer eligible since I moved away, came back and have not been back for the 2-year period... damnit.)

Anyway, I have friends who are couples or have kids. Think about it, if you have a spouse and just two kids, that's 4 checks totalling ** $13,076 coming into your house. (**Note: that's the $2069 PLUS a $1200 energy rebate for the first time. The checks go out to 610,768 residents)

Now, I could be the socio-political intellectual and discuss this from a different angle, but I'm just plain old Free. So I'm gonna talk about what it'll be like trying to get my broke ass into WalMart or Costco to do any shopping for the next month... Ain't gonna happen, people.

I've been around when the PFD checks were under 2 grand. Damn near got trampled trying to get to the dairy aisle at Carrs grocery store because of a group of old people buying up from the $5 movie rack. One year I saw a young couple and their three little snotty-nosed, nappy-headed kids pulling a cart through WalMart loaded up with enough televisions, Game Boys and potato chips (yes, Lays potato chips) for four families. All I could think was that Mama and Daddy should have been getting the kids some clothes and hair appointments instead. I can almost promise you that within two months, that same family was broker than they had ever been before the checks came.

It's kind of amusing to watch what people do with their PFD money. Some folks spend wise - investing in their home repairs or putting money away for emergencies, paying off debts, etc - but then you have those folks who can just feel the money burning a hole in their pockets.

Of course, businesses have been in high gear promoting their products for months with special "PFD Sales". Everybody with a business licence has found a way to lure the customers in. Everywhere you look, there are advertisements:" Double Your Fund!" "Double Div Days"...

One thing that always tickled me is how the same businesses that didn't exactly throw out the welcome mat for certain people (minorities, for example and especially Native Alaskans), suddenly get very open-minded during PFD time.

Ah, well. I'm safe this year. Since I'm still one of the broke folk, I did all my errands and stocking up on what I need BEFORE these damn checks came out. Now I don't have to risk my life trying to body-hop my way through any stores. I plan to spend my weekend at the one place that seems to empty out when the PFDs hit: the library.

Peace
--Free