These Interesting Times

It's been an up-and-down month for me. The Up part is that I had some family in to visit for a few days. Always happy to see my peoples. The Down part is this freaking fatigue I've been fighting all month. It's the main reason that I haven't posted for a minute. Usually, I have trouble articulating to my doctors what my fatigue feels like. This time I will be able to tell them it was so bad that my bones actually ached.

I recently learned that there is another kind of fatigue a lot of folks are suffering with: "News Fatigue." Wow. There is a name for it and everything.

Pew Research has this from last year

Since I've had so much downtime this month, I've spent a lot of it doing Bible study. I think I've told you that one of my 3 favorite teachers is Chuck Missler. I probably even already mentioned his "Learn the Bible in 24 Hours" series as one of the best studies I've been through in a long while. I highly recommend it especially to skeptics and agnostics - anyone who has serious doubts about the authenticity of the Gospel message.

As far as watching the news, I've been avoiding it as much as possible. I also have posted about anything news-significant because... all the significant stuff seems so dark right now. Or maybe I'm just thinking too deeply.

We are living in a nation where the president is an open bully. He has publicly disabled people. He has used really distasteful language when talking about women, foreigners, and anyone who doesn't think he's "the ...One"???

But it's not Trump I'm bothered most by. It's fellow Christians who give him a pass on all of his abhorrent behavior towards anyone else as long as he is good to or for them. Or as long as they think he is good to or for them. Ben Howe has an interesting take on this. The very same people who thought Obama was the antichrist seem to be at the top of the Trump fan club. The whole political system is a stinking toilet so I'm not sure why people can believe one turd smells better than another. I know that is crude but anytime I talk about politics, crude is all I come up with. I told one of my nieces a couple of weeks ago that if Trump craps, he blames the stink on Obama. But, again, anyway...

One person defended their Trump vote by saying he is pro-life and good for conservative values. I find it hard to be happy about anyone's pro-life stance when they are okay with being cruel to children once they are born. I find it hard to trust Trump's support of Israel when I think he might have personal motives. Also, I can't get too excited about the way he encourages other bullies of the world. And let me clarify that I don't think Trump is a racist; I think he's an opportunist. If black people were his base, he'd be trying to join the Black Panthers and inviting the NOI into his administration. It's all about who makes him feel powerful and smart ("so smart, like genius smart") and bigger than he really is. By the way, Reddit (among other sources) has a whole subreddit about the hypocrisy of the current president. They could probably have the same sub for every politician there is. Politics is not a clean business, but Trump seems to be the one most proud of being a turd in the toilet.

Trump is a small, small man who has been given a very large pulpit. And most of the Christians I know are playing hype man for him. He lies, they make excuses. He poops on some of their hopes and dreams, they blame the stink on anyone else. He incites something ugly or hateful, they explain that he just "tells it like it is". I don't know what they will come up with now that he seems to be getting a lot loopier and unfocused. Even if he is focused, he might get desperate about his hold on the presidency. I don't like the idea of desperate people with that much access to power. And UPDATE - with the impeachment in motion... who knows?

When I used to read about the  "strong delusion" mentioned in the Bible, I didn't understand the concept. When I read that many people - even Christians - will be deceived, I didn't understand how that could be. Do NOT get me wrong here. I am not saying that Trump is the antichrist or anything. I am saying that he has shown me how people can be so deluded.

Chippewa.com nailed it with this illustration 

If someone as un-charismatic as Trump can gain the respect he has, I can just imagine worse. What happens when someone who is very charismatic and appealing and intelligent comes along with ugly rhetoric that sounds nicer? If people can be fooled by someone as distasteful as Trump, they will die for someone with a more attractive mask.

Whenever I doubt my theory, all I have to do is broach the subject with a Trump-supporting Christian. They most often lose their patience with me. I get to hear all the arguments about the sins of great men like King David and King Solomon, etc. I get it. But those were men described as being after the heart of God. They not only thought (unlike Trump) that they needed God's forgiveness, they craved it. Those were men who wrestled with their sins.  So don't come at me with comparisons like that. Trump has never been as bold about proclaiming his love of and dependence on God as he has about tweeting utter nonsense about his imagined 'genius'.

I do want my Christian friends to know that I pray for Trump. I pray for him the way I pray for anyone else. We are all supposed to pray for and encourage each other to be better people. I pray that Trump really comes to be the good man so many people believe he is. I pray that he starts looking to God for guidance. And I pray for my protection from some of the hateful people who follow Trump and hate people like me.

Now I am going to go take some vitamins and try to think about anything other than the news.

Peace
--Free

So Not In The Mood

Today has been one of those days.

But my head SWEATS

I woke up grouchy so I was hoping the day would go uphill and not down. I think it started with the heat last night.

The heat snuck up on me around 1 or 2 in the morning and I sweated out all of my perfect curls. Normally, I can hold a good set of curls for a week. My hair is good the first day after a wash and condition, but it's marvelous the second day on. That's when all the leave-in products have had time to work in and loosen up my curl pattern. Well. That was done for in under an hour because of the heat.

First thing I saw on my phone this morning was a warning about the heat index. I guess that's when the temps and the humidity collide to make each other act the fool. The "heat index" around nine this morning was 101 and getting worse.

Things got so bad here that by close to noon, the building manager put out a printed notice for everyone to stay hydrated and use their air conditioners. Then, of course, because this is Iowa where the weather is sociopathic, the temps suddenly broke a little and we got rained on. The rain cooled things off, but... really Iowa? Really?

Since it was so hot (and I don't do well in the high heat and humidity), I felt slightly more fatigued than normal. Listen. my 'normal' fatigue is so bad that it's driven me to have my depression meds upped. It's a serious problem, people.

There was no question about getting anything done around the apartment because the humidity was like a wet wool blanket weighing me down. So I stripped down to my bra and undies, started drinking water like I was in training for, I don't know, something, and lay down to watch some movies. It's the only thing to do when all you have the strength for is staying as still as you possibly can.

The first movie I watched was pretty awesome. I have to be honest and admit that Christian movies aren't usually known for their production value. It's probably a budget thing. Everybody knows Christian entertainment doesn't have a lot of support. This movie though was kind of up there with the acting and everything. It's called Divination and it's on Amazon -free with Prime. It was so good - especially the special effects - that I went over to recommend it to my Facebook fam.

While on Facebook, I got a friend request from someone who is also friends with a family member so I accepted the request. About 3 minutes later, this person messages me to say that he thinks we might be cousins. He is, he says, cousins with the family member we share as a FB friend. Oh. Nice. He then asks me a question about my family which I think is a little forward so I ask him how he happens to be a cousin to my family member. Instead of answering me, he continues asking me for information. Weird, right? I give him a couple of chances to answer my question but he just kept trying to get info out of me. My jerk radar goes off so... Block, Mute, Unfollow, and restrain self from thinking bad thoughts about the goofball. That, coupled with the heat, put me at Grouch Level 1 (or DefCon Grouch-Con 5).


About this time, the temperature has dropped from severe to merely uncomfortable. I drink some more water and make my 200th trip to the bathroom where I almost knock myself out on the door sill when I lose my balance for a second. I don't get any grouchier from that but I feel a little bit woozy from the knock on the head.

Once my vision cleared, I check my phone for the current temps and there's a warning about the rain that's coming. The heat index warning has disappeared (but I don't know why because I still feel like I'd be breathing in water if I went outside for a moment).

Since I have phone in hand, by reflex - yeah, sad, isn't it? - I check Instagram. At first, I'm happy because there are new photos of my beautiful and baldheaded baby niece and even a couple of new pics of my boyfriend-in-my-head, Keanu. You'd think this would boost my joy levels, right? You would think...

My joy level dropped to my toes when I notice is that in at least 3 of the photos of my 'boyfriend', he's making devil signs or wearing devil-themed shirts or being, I don't know, devilish. And not devilishly handsome or flirty but just plain, devilish. Oh, man.. How can someone with such a seemingly wonderful heart and soul be down with the Devil? You know what, Keanu? I have been your top fangirl even back when I had to defend that choice to my friends - you know, back before John Wick and everybody was jumping on my Keanu wagon and got all diehard for you. I'm so offended right now. How you gonna go and break my heart like that? I can't be digging on somebody who's rooting for Satan! C'mon now. If I have to choose, I choose holy over hellish. I'm going to be praying for my ex to come over to the light side.

Okay, so I had to dump the guy who, let me be real, was never going to be my man anyway. Still, he was my dream crush. That little breakup hurt. It put me at GrouchCon 2.5. That's almost to three, people. That, coupled with my noggin bump was not a good thing. I got all fired up and had to drink some more water just to cool down...


By now, it's full-on raining outside and I realize I forgot to take out my trash last night. And I have more trash to throw out (including my little VapeWild illustration of Keanu, the traitor). This means that I have to change out the garbage bag and leave the old one tied up and sitting on the kitchen floor until I can take it out. Whatever.

I'm still a little dizzy so I go back to find something else to watch until I can take out the garbage. I pick another uplifting-sounding movie because I feel like I need to cleanse the Keanu-digs-the-Devil from my broken heart. I choose a Kevin Sorbo movie. Kevin Sorbo - a Christian actor, Keanu, you hear that?

The movie I pick is called Let There Be Light. Okay. I could use a little light right about now. As long as it doesn't involve any heat. The movie starts out okay, then it gets to the part that most Christian movies have showing some of the less-than-stellar acting.

Sorbo plays an atheist writer promoting his latest book by slaughtering a Christian apologist on a debate stage. That part comes off well enough - I mean, as far as the acting. The bad acting comes in during a party scene when you are introduced to the characters of Sorbo's fashion model date and his book agent. Both those characters are so badly acted that I was briefly entertained a little by the bad acting. I'm not sure what the actor playing the agent was going for but he came off somewhere between British, maybe gay, and woman-chasing-creepy.  Like I said, I have no idea what he was going for, but it was very over-the-top Norma Desmond-ish. Try to imagine that. I mostly stuck with the movie because I was too tired to look for something else to watch.

The movie wasn't all bad, but it got a little cliched and syrupy at some points. But it wasn't enough to turn me completely off. UNTIL one of the scenes involving a couple of the main characters doing an interview with another devi, I mean, Sean Hannity.

Now, for those of you who haven't stopped reading and started cursing me, let me explain my problem with Hannity who is as crazy far to the left (oopsie-edit) right as Rachel Maddow is annoyingly far to the left. However, I've never heard Maddow refer to herself as Christian.

Hannity is a man who portrays himself as supporting Christian values - apparently unless those values involve being charitable towards immigrants and their children. He obviously is a cheerleader for a president who - when not bragging about grabbing women by the ***** because "when you're a celebrity,  you can get away with it" - lies, mocks people like a pre-pubescent schoolyard bully and spews racist and egotistical hate every time he opens his mouth. As Christians, we are not to serve two masters, but Hannity is most definitely at the beck and call of the vigilante and self-serving Trump. As far as I can see, neither man has let the beatitudes affect their attitudes.

GrouchCon 3 achieved. Or whichever level is closer to being the worst. I've gotten my levels and stuff mixed up now...

Listen. I had to fast forward through every glimpse of Hannity's face. I thought about leaving a movie review just to get my concerns off my chest. I would have, too but the heat and that bump on my head were affecting my thinking. Also, I had to go pee again. What is it about getting past 50 and not being able to hold enough water to fill a teaspoon?

On my way to the bathroom, I decide to toss out my empty water bottle. Keep in mind that I'm still seething about Hannity ruining a not-completely-awful Christian movie.  I'm not paying as much attention as I should to the coordination of my feet. All of a sudden, I trip on something and dang near do an unintentional somersault. Somehow, I manage to just do that trip-and-skip thing and I don't fall on my face. The obstacle that almost killed me? The trashbag I forgot I set out. Not only am I lucky I didn't actually fall but I'm luckier still that I didn't pee all over myself.  Ugh. What a life this is.

So that's how my day went. Thank goodness, things didn't get any worse. I even made up my mind to start praying for people like Hannity and Trump instead of just hating on them. With my luck and bad balance, I will knock myself out and die before I can repent of all these bad thoughts about certain people. I need to remember that the seventh beatitude is about being a peacemaker.

Finally, now that it's late at night - real late, actually - the heat has calmed all the way down to the low 70's. It's still humid but not as bad as earlier. The bump on my head has gone down and I don't think it will be visible by morning. My head still hurts to the touch but I'm glad that I don't have a dent where I hit it. My Grouch Levels are down too. I think I was just feeling a little irritated from the heat and fatigue. If I feel up to it, I will twist my hair real quick, take a cool shower and go to bed thinking clean thoughts. I need to be rested so I can start living my life tomorrow without Keanu in it. I'm going to be praying for him. Seriously.

Peace
--Free