**RECIPE** Oven Baked Chicken & a Salad (with coconut oil)

I'm taking a couple of days off from blogging. My energy level is at an all-time low right now. I think it's a combination of having one cold after another since December and stress/grief.

The matcha tea that I am trying out is helping some, but I could probably be eating better. Never underestimate the power of good nutrition, right?  But it only works if you're consistent. Lately, my diet has consisted of coffee, water, and those crunchy almond bars I get from Walmart.

Yesterday was the first time in a couple of weeks that I've actually spent time fixing a decent meal for myself. Before I take this next couple of days off from here, I'm going to share my recipe for no-fry, crunchy chicken wings with you. Mind you, I came up with this on the fly, using whatever I had in the kitchen at the time because, well, um, no energy to go to the store! LOL

This is for the chicken and a salad on the side

INGREDIENTS: (everything optional except, of course,  the chicken)

• Chicken wings  (I separated the wing from the drum so that I had smaller pieces, but they can be left as whole 1-piece wings)
• Garlic cloves
• Liquid Smoke
• Olive Oil (opt)
• Coconut Oil
• Emeril's (or some other type) of seasoning*
• Panko breading
• Salt and Pepper
• For the salad, I used Spinach,  mushrooms, onions, tomatoes and baby potatoes, but you can use whatever you have. 

INSTRUCTIONS:

• Pre-heat oven to about 325-350
• Boil the chicken in water seasoned with the Liquid Smoke, salt and a little bit of olive oil
• While the chicken is boiling, peel the garlic cloves, slice the onions into rings or strips, and cut the baby potatoes in half. Save the slicing of the tomatoes til ready to assemble the salad later.
• When the chicken is boiled to tender, drain on paper.
• Line a baking sheet with foil and coat with a little olive oil
• While the chicken is still warm, rub on some coconut oil and then season with the Emeril's (or other seasoning mix). Now coat the chicken with the Panko and arrange them on your baking sheet, leaving a little room on one end for your potatoes and garlic
• Put your garlic cloves, mushrooms and potatoes in a packet of foil with a little bit of the coconut oil and some of the seasoning. Set this on the baking sheet. 
• Pop the baking sheet into the oven
• Check chicken, potatoes and garlic every 30 minutes for doneness. Move the chicken around if you need to keep the pieces from sticking to the foil.

When your baking items are done, arrange your salad greens, tomatoes and onions in a bowl. Add the garlic, mushrooms and potatoes to the top. Your garlic will be very buttery and spreadable. Delicious.

This is just a nice, simple meal that is savory and healthier than frying chicken in oil. The salad is a little unusual, but I have a thing for those little potatoes and they are so good when mixed with the salad. You don't need any dressing because the seasoning mixed with the coconut oil is perfect.

And that's one of my lazy homecooked meals. 

*Seasoning is optional. You could mix some garlic powder, onion powder, curry, salt and pepper to make your own.

Now, I am going to go and take a bath and get some sleep. I'll be back with some reviews day after tomorrow or the next...

Peace
--Free

Q & A (food)

Damn you, Pinterest! I've changed my eating habits and I could do without all the food porn and recipes, thank you very much!

No, no I couldn't. I'd rather spend an hour looking at food and beverages on Pinterest than spend five minutes actually packing 1000 calories onto my (now slimmer) butt. Matter of fact, when I get bored, I now just look at photos of food instead of looking at (and chowing down on) real food. Hey. It works for me.

Doesn't even have to be gourmet food

This is a CAKE, btw

And this one is cake. Cake!

                                      

cake

cake

Baby, I'm amazed...

Because I have both a lot of curiosity and a lack of focus, I can spend hours learning about things I probably once knew and just forgot. (Huh?) Yesterday, I had a monster headache, so I spent a couple of hours lying in bed and looking at Pinterest food pics and checking out all kinds of random info about food. I had some questions and, as you know, Google has answers. The questions and answers? Here we go:

1. What exactly is haggis?
Answer: "Haggis is a savoury pudding containing sheep's pluck (heart, liver and lungs); minced with onion, oatmeal, suet, spices, and salt, mixed with stock, and traditionally encased in the animal's stomach and simmered for approximately three hours. Most modern commercial haggis is prepared in a sausage casing rather than an actual stomach." Thanks Wikipedia.

2. Okay then, why is haggis? Again from Wikipedia: "As the 2001 English edition of the Larousse Gastronomique puts it, "Although its description is not immediately appealing, haggis has an excellent nutty texture and delicious savoury flavour"

 Haggis:

Chitlins:

Not "chitterlings"

Haggis is a Scottish thing. Well, I'm from Texas, so this sounds no more icky than frog's legs, bull's balls, pig intestines or pig's feet. It just sort of sounds like all of that mixed together. So... ick.

James McAvoy.  A hot Scot.

For him, I'd eat haggis, chitlins, pickled pig toes...

3. How come Canadian bacon doesn't look like American bacon?

Answer: Because Americans don't own the idea of bacon. Duh.

I love Canadian bacon. I love bacon, period. But I appreciate that The Kitchn so easily cleared up my confusion about the difference. Basically, American Bacon: Pork Belly. Canadian Bacon: Pork Loin. So there.

I'd eat lots of any kind of bacon for James McAvoy. Just saying.

4. Why is it so hard to replicate the recipes I see on Pinterest? I mean, I can't sew (hell, I can barely thread a needle without having bandaids on hand), so I don't expect to be a seamstress. I can cook. I'm not a fancy cook, but I can throw it down well enough in the kitchen - so why can't I ever get my food to look like the ones I see online?

I mean, I'd never try to make something as pretty as this (although it doesn't look that hard)...

...because I know that even the "fail" pic on the bottom would put mine to shame.

But I actually did try something similar to this because, well, why not? I mean, what could really go so wrong?

Yeah. It went about that wrong, and I burned my fingers because my brain went for a stroll and I tried grabbing the hot cup handle... ~sigh~ 

Answer: because...

A dirty, dirty liar!

By the way, if you are feeling superior to the rest of us, go ahead and try your own hand where we have failed. When you blow up your microwave, you can at least go over here and have a good laugh.

Oh well.

I'm not giving up on gardening just because I once killed a plant that could Death Valley, and I'm not giving up on trying out some more Pinterest finds like these:

Now, if and when I fail, I might have to hit up GoFundMe to pay for my physical and/or mental therapy, but... we'll see. We will see.

Peace

--Free

Getting My Goat

Since I mentioned my new-found love for goat cheese, I thought I'd post about it.

I love cheese, but I'm picky. I like cheddar, natural cheddar, Colby, cream, Havarti, and Brie. My previous favorite was Havarti. My new fave: goat.

I can't describe myself as being adventurous about food. I have to be able to stand looking at something if I'm going to eat it. I'll try things if they sound like they taste good. This is how I learned that "crudites" is just a fancy-sounding word for raw veggies. Chopped raw veggies are sometimes affordable, but if you slap that word "crudites" on the menu, forget it.

Goat cheese is not something I ever thought I'd like. Goat doesn't sound tasty to me because I grew up hearing that they eat any and every nasty thing they can get their teeth on. And it's cultural. I grew up with cow milk, so the idea of eating cheese made of goat milk (or even moose milk!) is one I had to creep up on.

A family friend came into town with my niece for a visit. For the Fourth of July, she made some beautiful trays of hors d'oeuvres: sausages, pickled veggies, olives (yay!), garlic (yay!), and different cheeses. She sweetened the normally tart goat cheese with a touch of honey.

Oh my heavens! That was the best cheese I have ever let touch my tongue. (Thank you, Jamie!)

So, while shopping yesterday, I wanted to get some more goat cheese. So many brands and labels... I chose one based on best price:

Tastes good plain or with honey
(or jam or marmalade)

Then I saw this one and just had to have it-

- but I was getting over my grocery budget (or whatever it is you want to call the miniscule amount of money I get to spend on food). My sister, bless her, got it for me as a treat. I love my sister. Now I love this cheese.

Probably because I'm not cultured enough (see what I did there?), I can't really describe the taste of this cheese. For both the plain and candied, I can say that they are really super creamy and richly textured. The one with the cranberries and orange peel has the tart under taste that is yummy with the fruits. I mixed the plain cheese one with a touch of honey. That was how I tried it at our get-together. What I can't wait to do is just try the cheese plain with no sweeteners.

What's nice is that, apparently, goat cheese has lots of nutritional benefits. Here's one person's experience with (and info on) goat's milk products.

Because I like the cheese so much, I want to try the milk. I've been using soy milk, but I'm always open to alternatives and choices when it comes to flavor and health benefits.

Maybe we need to try all of them?

flavor & preference count

I've read some good things about goat's milk being beneficial to bone health and the immune system. That's a huge plus for me. I'm not ready for sheep milk yet, but I think variety is good. The main considerations are health and tolerance. Flavor is a big plus. I'll try almost anything that's going to help me heal and feel better. I've tried lots of milks. I wasn't crazy about rice milk and I only like using coconut milk as a sweetener, recipe addition or for cosmetic uses. Almond milk is about the same as vanilla soy for me. I don't drink it, I just use it in cereals and smoothies.

Now that I'm hip to goat's cheese, I'm looking forward to using it on baking recipes. I just know that it's right up there with cream cheese as pastry filling or cake frosting.  As soon as I get settled in "Mayberry" and have the kitchen set up, I'm stocking up on the cheeses and milks.

Peace
--Free

The Un-reality of Reality Shows

On G+, Food Network recently asked for fans to describe the segment they'd like to see on one of the FN shows. I submitted that they should have a "real" non-chef person trying to create chef recipes with a normal budget. That got me thinking about TV in general.

Let's be honest. There's very little reality in the reality shows on TV.

When the Real Housewives first came on, the women didn't represent the average housewife - unless "average" meant married to someone very wealthy (or temporarily kind-of-sort-of wealthy) and living under/caving in to a lot of peer-pressure.  The current housewives are a little more established in their own rights as businesswomen, but are still extremely shallow and self-absorbed.

A true reality show about housewives would show more of the juggling and struggling that women in the home have to cope with nanny-free. There'd be no personal assistants, mansions with indoor basketball courts or trips to places that are on the average woman's "Dream Vacation" or bucket list instead of as a notation on the next film schedule. We'd see more women not wearing full-makeup and Spanx at 7 in the morning. We'd also see more of the kids and husbands. Oh - and those kids and husbands wouldn't be so interchangeable that no one would notice if the families did an overnight swap.

Real people, real kids, real life. It happens.

While I am on my rant about the Housewives, let me  just say that I have seen some of those wives when the camera catches them in full-on sunlight and at the wrong angle. They have bulges, sags and wrinkles just like other women past thirty (and all those heffas are waaaay past thirty, no matter what their lying mouths say), and if they don't it's because they: never eat carbs, ever; don't smile with any abandon; don't go anywhere without a hair-and-makeup person on standby; or they are constantly in pain from sucking it in.

What reality TV would have you think

(Maybe this post will be just about the Housewives. I've gotten on a roll here.)

Have you ever noticed that the kitchens and dining rooms in the Housewives homes are always perfectly clean? I mean, spotless. Even if they are making a batch of Rice Krispy Treats with the (clean and name-brand-attired) kids? There are never crumbs on the floor, goo on the counters, or mysterious stains on the sink back wall. I mean, I know they all have maids and such, but I just don't trust the nutrition or love of a meal made without wrecking the orderliness of the kitchen. When I feed kids, I want to see some evidence that they enjoyed the meal. They don't have to leave the mess of untrained animals being fed at the table, but it would be nice to know that a five-year old doesn't have the social manners of an 80-year old dowager.

Now let's talk about the Housewives' attire.

I would like to think that any woman who has ever been married and had - or has even been within 5 feet of a child - owns a raggedy pair of jeans. Or an ugly, stretched out sweater, or a sweatsuit without "Juicy" or "Victoria's Secret" stitched on it. All the Housewives on TV have perfectly fitting clothes (well, usually) with matching accessories for any occasion. Their sandals never have those little loose threads that show wear and tear from more than one use. Their toenails are always perfectly painted and the heels of their feet are never ashy. Ever. It's as if their skin oozes lotion.

I don't trust a woman who doesn't have to occasionally check her feet or elbows for ash. I have to keep a bottle of lotion on my person at all times and I have had to apologize about the state of my feet before whipping out my dogs for the doctor to do an examination.

What do I know? I'm not a housewife. Even if I one day marry the man of my dreams, I hope to God I never turn into a Housewife. I don't have the willpower. I'm just a single woman with no kids and there are days when I have to do a wheat grass shot before I have the energy to put on makeup. So enough about those women. Let's talk about the food shows.

I have a couple of food show favorites. Guy Fieri is my hero. I love "Diner, Drive-ins and Dives". Lots of real folks cooking and eating real food. That's cool stuff. Except it makes me hungry. I once wanted to move across the coast because of an episode on the best hamburgers made from scratch. Plus Guy looks like a big, tall cute Teddy Bear with cool shades.

My least favorite food shows are the ones where supposedly "real people" do everyday meals.

An "everyday meal" for me doesn't involve fresh-caught lobster or farm-grown ingredients that come from a market in some famous New York district to be cooked up in my cozy kitchen with two ovens and a built-in prep station. I shop at Walmart. I want to see some shows about how to jazz up my tuna casserole without using ingredients that are trending on Twitter among highbrow foodies.

A bit much?

Rachel Ray is annoying, but she's kind of down-to-earth with her meals. Of course, if I wanted to use her branded kitchen items, I'd have to hock my mama's jewelry to make a down-payment on one pan. Bonus points: Walmart carries the Rachel Ray line. They also carry a Paula Dean set that rubs way above the budget of a regular Walmart shopper. I'd need to give up a PFD to accessorize a kitchen with Ray and Dean.

I enjoy watching Giada sometimes just to marvel at how perfectly even and white her teeth are. I do get a little depressed watching her chow down like a truck driver while wearing size-two clothing. Bonus points: she actually seems to enjoy eating.

One day someone is going to do a cooking show for the person who has an oven with a faulty temp gauge and that one burner that always leans a little to the right. Most of the ingredients will be variable. No arugula or Tibetan pepper? No problem. Just use the Mrs Dash that's been sitting in the back of the pantry so long that you have to pound the can against the sink to loosen the flakes. Tell us how to make a decent meal from the fatty ground beef that's always on sale - because not everyone can afford the low-fat, choice ground that they keep behind glass at the butcher's counter. Not all of us shop at a butcher's counter.

So, yeah, I'm kind of over the b.s. of most of these shows.

Reality shows are going to be a joke until they are about "real" people living real lives. Most of us don't have sex tapes for sale, clothing lines in the works, or famous exes. Most of us are just seriously real people trying to survive in a seriously real world.

My "real world" makes me want one of these!

Peace
--Free

Love Food, Not the Shows

I love food, so I should love shows about food. And I do.

"Unwrapped" is probably my favorite because not only do I get to find out just how some of my favorite snacks are made, I get to find out about things I've never had a chance to try. "Diners, Drive-ins and Dives" is fun because Guy Fieri seems to have so much real fun visiting the different eateries. He's cute with his family.

What I can't stand are show like "Man vs Food", "Bizarre Food",  and "Dinner Impossible". Let me break this down:

Watching "Man vs Food" makes me feel a little ill. When that dude puts down that much food in one sitting is just a glorification of gluttony. I have caught sight of this show more times than I'm proud to admit. I usually last until I find out what monster-sized meal he's going to try gnawing his way through, but when he starts sweating and dribbling on his napkin, well, I'm just done.

"Bizarre Food' is interesting. I'm always fascinated by foods from different cultures. I grew up in a culture where every part of the pig, ox and cow is not only eaten, but craved by a lot of folks. The thing that irritates me about Zimmerman is that I can never gauge how well his taste relates to that of most westerners. He will eat the anus of an alien and remark about the smokiness and layers of flavor. Rarely does he go ahead and just say how gross most of us would find a dish. I mean, come on, man: tell us that something is just delicious to you and the people who grew up acquiring a taste for it.

I admire the guy who does "Dinner Impossible" because he seems to do a lot of charitable events. It's his over-the-top manner that turns me off. He has figured out his TV persona and he works it like a boss. Very annoying. He's probably a super nice guy, but I can only take about five minutes of the "realism" that is him.

I'm not ashamed to say that I used to dig me some Paula Deen. I'd never use her recipes because of all the pounds of butter and other fatty stuff she uses, but I liked that motherly attitude she had. It wasn't her use of derogatory terms for ethnics (specifically, the "n-word"), but when I heard that she had a super-foul mouth. This was probably two years before she weathered the accusations a former employee made about her (and her son, Bubba). I just lost my liking for her when I realized she wasn't anything like my own mother or any other mother I could truly admire.

Now, don't misunderstand my irritation with these shows. I have nothing against eating flavorful and seasoned food. My peeve is when some shows seem to encourage people to over eat or just slam down any and every kind of food. I can't get a handle on what media wants more: to have everyone thin and beautiful with great cholesterol numbers or folks who glut until they can't breathe.

I do like it when food shows try to help teach ways for saving time or money in the kitchen. There just aren't enough shows like that. I used to like "30-Minute Meals", but...

Rachel Ray is just a little too damn perky for me. She's probably belongs in the club of the perfectly nice (right along with the "Dinner Impossible" guy), but, boy, I can only take so much of her hyper-happiness. She is really a cute lady though, isn't she?

My sister likes Bobby Flay and his "Throwdown" series. Not me. He comes off as the kind of person I avoid on a prejudice. I prejudge him as arrogant and grating. My sister agrees, but she finds his ways cute. He does too. You can tell.

Love, love, love the "Two Fat Ladies". I don't find many of their finished dishes to look very appetizing, but they are so much fun to watch. They seems so down to earth and real. They do no posing for the cameras - unless they are pretending to be women who don't pose. Fun stuff.

I really like Ina Garten on "The Barefoot Contessa" for the same reasons I like "Two Fat Ladies". She's so elegant without being frou-frou. I like how naturally loving she and her husband treat each other. I also like that she looks like someone who actually eats what she cooks (and that she cooks it without pounds of butter). She just seems like a person who'd have you in her home for dinner even if you don't live in her zip code.

In the We Never Agree category is "Good Eats". My sister doesn't like it. At all. I love it. I like learning not just about a certain dish but also how and why it's best prepared a certain way. Not that I often use what I learn. I have watched shows on fixing meat in a dutch oven right after I tossed my tin-foil wrapped steak into an oven that I forgot to even turn on.

Anyway.

I have food on the brain tonight. My girlfriend called and gave me a recipe for steaming my vegetables in broths and stocks instead of plain water. I can't wait until she mails me her son's recipe for vegetarian collard greens. (When you stop giggling about what I just said, think about all the fatback, smoked hocks and necks most people season their greens with. I'm not that bad, but I'm looking for more flavor without going broke buying smoked turkey wings.)


Peace
--Free

(I tried linking to videos of the mentioned shows. Sure hope I didn't pick ones that contradict any of my complaints!)

Food Ahh's and Ick's

This food detox I'm enduring (yeah, it's been a whole 15 hours) has me thinking a lot about, well, food.

How much of what we hear about "the latest" berry, oil or seed is hype the greedy? There has to be something good about any natural food, I'm sure. What I wonder about is whether I need a pantry/fridge full of every kind of seed, berry, nut, tree, leaf or twig.

My shopping plan for eating better is real simple: whatever is grown, pure, colorful and on sale.
Problem is, I can be a sometimes picky eater. I have a thing about textures (hate grit, love creamy) and I'm hypersensitive to flavors.

I'm considering adding a couple of new things to my pantry though:

• Chia seeds - I like the idea (if true) that they hydrate the body. One claim I need to check on is that they promote weight loss by "preventing food absorption". That sounded great when I first read it, but I have to wonder if, by the same process, the seeds will prevent the absorption of nutrients. I get all yin yang in my feelings about stuff like this. I really hate this type of trendy hype. Since chia seeds taste nice (and might actually help the heart),  I don't care if they do anything for weight loss and will probably give them a try.
• Flax-seed - Even if I don't try chia, I will most definetly be adding some flaxseed to my blended concoctions. Reading about it on WebMD, I was pleased to see the Omega-3 and fiber mentioned, but my beady little peepers lit right up at the note about estrogen. The woman out there will know where I'm coming from with that one. (By the way, I just love that WebMD. Not as much as I love my docs, but they're probably glad I'm not calling them up with my random questions at... 6:15 AM   Pretty sure about that!

I hope flax-seed doesn't tasted disgusting. Already I'm thinking "gritty-grimy" as far as the texture. Maybe all the pulp in my "Veg-oothies"** (I made that up, so don't go stealing it) will protect my taste buds.

Now, getting to the ahh's and ick's I headlined with, here are some of my faves/not-faves as far as food:

• Liver - I used to hate this so much that I would gag when Mom forced it on me. I'd spit that nastiness right out the second she wasn't looking and actually scrape at my tongue with my dinner napkin. UGH! As I've matured (in all kinds of ways), I find I don't mind eating liver. If I don't have to handle it raw. Is it not the most disgusting common food known to exist? My sister cooks it with onions, with or without gravy, and that is some good eating. Sometimes. I have to be in the mood for it.And I only like beef liver, which is the chewier kind.
• Gizzards - Love, love, LUV chicken gizzards. I cook them with a little olive oil and some garlic salt. Of course, I look like some kind of crazed freak of nature while I'm gnawing around those tough little ligaments (or whatever) to get at all the meat. Thing is, you have to eat like a pan full of them to satisfy hunger. I have never eaten a gizzard in the company of all but my nearest and dearest. One time I lost my grip while tugging the meat from one and it shot across the table and hit my uncle in the face. So, yeah. My life and times...
• Cabbage - Never been a fan of cabbage. When I was about fifteen, I brought my mother a head of lettuce from the store because I thought it was a cabbage. (You ever tell anyone about that, I'll hunt you down to laugh with you about it.) My family likes to cook it in water with oil and salt pork. And this is why so many black people have "high blood" and "the sugar diabetes". Help us, Jesus.
• Beets - Just started eating them without pickling juices. Not crazy about these solo, but like tossing them into blends or drinking the raw juice. Not a bad juice, just don't wear clothes or get near furniture while you guzzle. That vegetable stains air.

My basic plan is simple: getting lots of fresh air and exercise and putting better stuff in my body. I used to think that "eating better" meant choosing making better fast-food choices. I'd get the green tea latte at Starbucks or the McDonald's ranch salad. I thought I was being smart, but I was just spending more money than I needed for stuff that only sounded healthy. Let's take a look at some those choices.

• Best and worst salad choices
• It looked good on the menu
• Even it that "chicken" is really chicken
• If it's not the fat, it's the sodium

The biggest thing about eating (or drinking) something that sounds healthy is that almost anything can be made to sound healthy.

I'm not saying that I will never go to Starbucks again, but I'm going to go less and go smarter. As this article suggests, I'll use a this-not-that way of choosing my treats.

Like a lot of people, I tend to point out that I only eat fast food occasionally. The thing is, I don't like mystery about what I'm ingesting - ever. While, again, not everything you read is true, this article pretty much put me off McNuggets for life. I used to love McNuggets more than I loved the last man I was with, and now I realize neither of them was any good for me. Ick.

This list of the 18 Most Sickening Food Ingredients gave me dry heaves. I'm going to need a Valium the next time I enter a grocery store. This article was way funnier and had "sex" in the title (even though I'd rather eat beetle ass than condom lubricant). I was only alarmed by a few claims.

All giggling aside, I think that we need to be more aware of what we're putting into our bodies. We've heard so much about what's bad for us, we've gotten tired of listening.

Peace
--Free

Still Yakking About Hacking

(I know that my post title is lame, but it gave me a moment of joy.)

Since I discovered hacks for cooking, cleaning, writing and exercising, I'm just all about the hack. Here are some more of my favorite (mostly) food hacks or sorta-hacks and hack sources. The hacks are sometimes hacky and sometimes just cool ideas. Use, enjoy and pass along.

• Not really one hack, but a bunch of tips for doing your nails. (I linked directly to my fave.)
• Nice change-up on fixing fried potatoes.
• Wanna make your own fresh nut milk? 
• I might want nut milk, but I don't find this pig's ass appetizing.
• Red Velvet Cornbread. Nuff said.
• Not a hack at all but a riddle.
• I like my PB&J's triple-deckered (once a year!), but these look good.
• A 5-minute physics lesson. 
• If I posted this 4-minute workout before, it's good enough for a repeat.
• Skillet Cobbler? Heck yeah!
• I might use Gmail more because of this add-on called Rapportive.
• A crop of You Tube hacks.

That's enough for today. I'm going over to check out that Rapportive add-on...

Peace

--Free

Saved by Ice Cream

Did I mention that I recently screwed up my 7 month smoke-free streak?

Yeah. When I eff up, I eff up with top marks.

So, now I am popping Chantix twice a day, which helps with the nicotine cravings but does not a damn thing for murder cravings. (I won't get on a rant about this, but my roommate makes me consider trading in the contents of my closet for a jumpsuit stamped "Property of County Jail.")

Anyway.

I'm such an oral person that if I'm stressed, I have to smoke a cigarette, chew a straw, drink anything fit for human consumption, or eat. Since I am finally getting my sexy back, I sure as hell don't want to go on an eating rampage. I don't even want to eat too many carrots or celery sticks because, eat enough of that negative-calorie stuff, a positive pound or two is going to slap itself onto my waist.

The thing is, when I stress, I don't crave salty the way I did when I was younger. Hormones or God's sense of humor has changed my body. Stress these days sends me running for the cookies, donuts or ice cream. The sight of a cookie turns me into a glutton. I don't do donuts in singles. Ice cream, though... Ice cream is a frenemy. I love it, but I have sensitive teeth so I can only do small amounts.

You don't know how happy I was to see this at Walmart a couple weeks ago:

This is the sh*t.  It's like Freezer-Aisle crack.

90 calories. It's just the right amount of heaven to keep me sane for a day. I swear, if I could, I'd marry one of these bars. Except that would make me one of those people who suffer from O.S. As if I don't have enough issues (that I told y'all about) to make someone resurrect Freud.

At any rate, I am trying to get my health act back together. Between the Chantix and the Snickers, I should be completely sane and mostly healthy within another month. So far, I'm still losing weight, and I'm hoping that my recent success with that doesn't slow down when the nicotine leaves my bloodstream. First-world problems, huh?

This is my life.

Peace
--Free

**RECIPE** Hot Water Corn Bread & Seasoned Pinto Beans

A favorite pairing of mine. Everyone does things differently. This is the way my mother and sister taught me to prepare these dishes. (I've posted the cornbread recipe before, but revised it as I've prepared it so many more times over the years!)

Hot Water Cornbread
1 cup yellow Cornmeal (I use Albers)
1/4 cup Onions finely diced
1 small Garlic clove (opt) fine-chopped
Green Onion (opt) fine-chopped
about 1/4 tsp Salt
about 1/2 white sugar
Canola for frying (enough to have 1/4'' deep in fry pan)
1/2 tsp Olive oil - to add to mix (opt.)
4 cups Water
(Paper towels for draining.)

Measurements depend on how much bread you want. A cup of cornmeal makes about eight small playing card-sized patties. You can choose shape & size of patties and it's not difficult to make more, so don't worry. Have everything chopped and added to meal before preparing water and oil.

• Put your water on to boil.
• Put your oil on, ready to heat for frying.
• Mix all your other ingredients in a heat-resistant bowl.
• When water is boiling (this is the most important thing!), slowly add to Cornmeal mix, a little bit at a time, mixing well to get all the meal wet. Stir in and add more water, slowly until your consistency is wet but thick enough to scoop and pour into hot grease - about the same but a touch thicker as for baking cornbread. Now add the olive oil to mix and stir well.
• Fry until first side is crispy, flip and repeat. (I like my bread a little mushy in the middle, so I fry light.)

Keep in mind that you can always add more water, but you can't take it away. (If you try adding more cornmeal, do it separately with more BOILING water.)

The trick to this is that the boiling water cooks the meal even before you fry it. If your water is not boiling, your patties will be "mealy" and good for nothing.

Make sure to drain your bread well. It is meant to be eaten hot, but some people like it cold. Also, you can let it cool and serve with the beans to heat the bread.

Seasoned Pinto Beans
Cook your beans as bag instructs, except do not soak. Soaking tends to make the beans "hully," with the outer skin falling off. Instead, add about a 1/4 tsp of baking soda for every 3 cups of beans.

Smoked Hock (or smoked turkey)
Yellow onions (diced medium to fine, your pref.)
Garlic cloves (slit as if you are going to dice, but left whole)
*Brown Sugar (this thickens & flavors bean juice)
Salt
Pepper
Onion powder
Garlic salt
Liquid Smoke (about 1/8 Tsp to 3 cups)
Olive oil (1 Tbl to every 3 cups beans)
(A pot of hot water on hand to add to beans if they start "drying" before done)

• Add the hock (or turkey wing/piece) when you put on the beans and water. I start my beans in cold water. 
• When your beans first reach a good simmer, add the baking soda, then all of the other ingredients just a bit at a time. You will go back and taste several times as the beans begin to form a juice. Add more seasonings to taste. Trick here is to cook slow and low, adjusting the cover as needed. 
• When/if you need to add water, add only very hot or boiling water to match temp of the beans.
• *The brown sugar is added to thicken bean juice. Begin adding (about a Tbl to 3 cup beans), little at a time if you notice beans are halfway to done but juice is not thickening. The flavor is nicer IMO than white sugar.

*********************************

Both these recipes are passed down to me from my mother, who got them from her mother and so on. I have made changes to the beans - no "fried meat grease" and I go easier on the salt.

If you are sharing this food with someone (like me) who needs even less salt, you can leave the beans less salty and add a bit more to part of your hot-water cornbread - if they are being served together.

Peace
--Free

P.S.: My thinking has been a little iffy lately, so let me know if I need to clarify any part of the recipe.

Ethnicity & Food

Okay, I'm going to piss off a lot of people, but I will go ahead & say it:

Black people (in general & especially) need to eat healthier.

~waiting for hail of stones to stop raining down~

Now that I've gone and put it out there, let me explain what I mean.

Not all black folk eat unhealthily. I know a lot of black (brown, taupe, tan, deep chocolate,etc) people who do watch what they eat and understand why they need to. That said, I also know a LOT of "us" who still use the excuse of "Grandma did" to eat things that are so bad for anyone: lots of pork and "drippings," red meat, salt, salt and salt. I am not joking when I say that I knew an older woman some years back who actually ate salt sandwiches. Did you hear what I said? SALT sandwiches. She would cut up a raw onion, some tomatoes and literally coat this in salt and make a sandwich. Seriously. (She is dead now. Died at around 58 years old.)

My mother was an "old school" foodie - she ate a lot of green stuff, cooked and raw - but she had that salt habit. Salt and pepper were her seasoning staples. She also ate tomato and onion sandwiches. She didn't coat them with salt, but she did use salt.

When babies were born into our family, some of them teethed on pork gristle. Yeah. Kind of gross, but at least there was no salt involved. Yet. (I have one niece who has been a chicken-or-fish-only gal for about 15 years & if I really want to make her ill, I remind her that her teething was done on a pig ear! LOL)

The biggest excuses for a lot of poor eating habits, no matter what your ethnicity is, is: "Mama did it," "It's a black/German/Puerto Rican/Polish/etc thing." Like La Nostra Cosa (hope I didn't mangle that). Yeah, and sometime "Our Thing" will kill your ass. As deadly as it it cool-sounding.

Our family "thing" with food has always been a lot of variety as long as it's battered, buttered, fried or salted. Or all of the above, damnit. I got better about my eating habits as I got older (mostly out of shame), but until I was around 20 and got married, I ate a lot of delicious and bad-for-you food. My first husband was from a country where the food is bland but the people live for-freaking-ever! I'm from Texas. Take a look at what I can tell you about:

Homemade cakes (Pound, Chocolate, Pudding)
Fatback (deep-fried and eaten just like that, drippings poured into vegetables as a seasoning)
Grits, rice and hot cereals (with butter - lots of butter)
Hominy (which is the only "grits" we ate without butter)
Eggs, eggs and eggs (scrambled, sunny-side, runny or hard-cooked - as long as they were salted and sometimes, believe this or not, buttered)
Pork (chops - breaded or not - bacon, skin fried or pickled and funky - aka CHITLINS)
Breads (rolls of all kinds, corn-batter, hoecake, corncake, fried, grilled and sun-cooked)
Greens (always with drippings, salt and a hunk of that damned fatback)

Do you see what I mean about good food & bad habits? It's a joke among black people that we will waste no part of a pig. "From the rooter to the tooter." I mean, seriously, we eat the feet, tails, ears, ass and freaking guts. Ya know. That's not a diet, that's damn near an addiction. I remember the stench that hovered over the kitchen whenever the family sat around cleaning "chitterlings" (my British ex-husband actually called them by the proper name & I damn near laughed my ass into a fit every time he said it. He kind of liked that nasty shit. Ugh!) If the smell of "chitlins" didn't put you off any food until the smell of rotted ass died down, I don't think you can be cured of Pork. You almost couldn't fix chitlins without have the neighborhood knowing. I think the only reason folks eat that mess with so much hot sauce is to give their senses something else to concentrate on while they eat it. I'm sorry, but, damn.

Some food that I heard my parents talk about might not have been bad for the health, but it still just didn't seem right for humans to eat. Let's visualize what "Rocky Mountain Oysters" are, shall we? They are bull's balls. I promise. Apparently, my Grandma Jack just loved her some R.M.O. (What's really nasty is that I hear they have a gelatinous texture. Ewwww!)

But back to my original point. We (meaning anyone who grew up eating unhealthy foods) have got to do better, people.

One of the reasons given for a bad diet (other than the old "Good enough for Mama" excuse) is that "Mama" and her mama & daddy  ate the way they did because of poverty. Okay, a lot of people (especially in this economy) are still feeling impoverished. (And trust me when I say that I can teach you some creative ways to spell "broke.") That's still no excuse not to do what we can. Guess what's free? NOT adding so much salt. NOT adding so much (or any) "drippings." Not cooking everything in a batter or butter or fatty oil.

Guess what else? Not being a diabetic, amputee, kidney patient is cheaper than anything. We can make all the jokes we want about people having "Sugar" (diabetes) and "Salt" (high blood pressure), but that shit isn't even a little funny when it hits home or heart. I know firsthand.

With that little mammy-made rant of mine over, I will say this: I've recently learned that it is possible to do better. And it's not as hard or expensive as we'd like to think and in some ways is cheaper (go price a pound of butter if you don't believe that). It's not easy though. Breaking life-long ways and habits is never easy. Just trying is better than nothing at all.

I recently learned that I can eat my vegetables without curing them in salt. I am having a hard time getting used to eating so many vegetables, but my goal is to eat vegetables as much as I used to eat meat. I'm not giving up on meat (I'd be out of mind to swear off Lucky Wishbone forever!), but I'm not making it a part of every meal as if I can't live without it. I can and of I get any sicker or broker, I will have to.

For Memorial Day, I had a two burgers. One beef patty during the barbecue we had and one Portabello mushroom later when I went back for more. It wasn't bad at all. I consoled myself with the fact that I could have just a thin beef patty but a fat-ass mushroom burger! I think it's partly in the seasonings and partly in the mindset.

As I try new vegetable dishes, I tell myself what my former mother-in-law told me was an old English joke for the newly married virgins: "Just close you eyes and think of England." That never fails to crack me the hell up! I just close my eyes and think of life not on dialysis or in and out of a hospital.

Good eating, everyone. After a couple rough days, I'm having a lucid one so I'm off to work on the book.

Peace
--Free

Chew On This

(Yeah, corny post title, I know, but...)

As you know, I am trying to eat healthier - doing a lot of fresh veggies (juiced & steamed), fruits and good grains. I've even cut out a lot of the meat I have a hot romance with. (I had a dirty dream about Lucky Wishbone's burger & fries last night.)

The reason for my dietary change is that I am not in the best of medical health right now. This Sarcoidosis and the meds are kicking my ass. Also I am vain. Seriously. I don't like having this skimpy hair, fat ass and inability to strut my stuff. Hard to strut in "sensible shoes" - or in any shoes when you're liable to walk into a wall. So what is a chick to do?

Number one, I am trying to follow doc's orders. No smoking (ohmigoodness, that is a pain in my butt), exercising (yeah, yeah, yeah) and, on my own initiative, the food thing. Plus, after the whole Live Below the Line challenge, I feel differently about cramming bogus calories into my mouth. Somehow, it's harder (not impossible, mind you) to enjoy a burger and fries when you realize there are babies who aren't getting good nutrition let alone some crap like greasy beef and potatoes fried in fat. (I am almost petty-pissed that I am so aware.)

Another motivator is that I feel like what I eat is the one thing I can be so totally in charge of. (To a limit. I mean, I'm not eating caviar with my whole grain toast points.) For about the same amount of money that I was spending on my meats and pre-packaged foods - not to mention my sneak visits to Burger King - I can pick up enough greens and rainbow foods to keep me full and feeling better. See, I've made things interesting by thinking in color.  (Screw some Skittles, I got my own thing going on.)  Check out my box of Crayons:

The "Greens" are collards, kale, spinach, peas, cabbage and broccoli. The "Rainbows" are the bananas, apples, oranges, carrots and my beloved mangoes. I'm even starting to get a groove for bell peppers that are not surrounded by ground beef and pasta. (Okay, I still miss "Mama's Texas Spaghetti recipe!) Next week I'm going to experiment with "Earth Tones" of mushrooms and beans. Someone told me about a killer burger made completely with mushrooms and seasonings. And I haven't forgotten my background beige/taupe with the tofu for fun.  Salt is a struggle so I try to be moderate. I love olive oil so that's no biggie.

I can do this. I just have to keep myself interested. I have a strange mind, but I have learned how to play with things to keep myself on track. Some folks claim a method to their madness, I have a plan for my peculiarities. Yes, indeed.

I have to remind myself that there are some hefty-assed vegetarians out there. I know a couple. So, I am watching the fruit - because of the sugar and other, um, reasons. Last night I went to bed full of some peaches and nectarines that my nephew bought me and I woke up a few hours later breaking Jesse Owens' track record to get to the bathroom. Learned something about that fruit: Mess around and eat the wrong thing and you better not take a deep nap. Be in deep shit in a very literal way. (I do put out too much info at times, don't I? Sorry.)

Anyway, I stumbled across an interesting video over on Hulu tonight while I was folding clothes. Really I  only queued it because the title caught my eye and folding clothes bores the snot out of me, but I'm glad I caught the vid. It made me feel like I am doing a good thing for my health. In case you want to check it out, here is the link & it's called "Chow Down."

Enjoy.

Peace
--Free

*Sigh* Cravings

Not loving this whole vegetable juice thing, but I know that it's good for me. I know that because like anything "good for you," this diet sucks chunks. And are my sister & niece being any help? I don't know, let's see what they had for lunch today:

Some nicely seasoned wings from a really good Chinese place up the street.

Oh, and this is while I was downstairs fixing my lunch:

Rabbit food. Rabbit food that takes forever to turn into rabbit juice.

I was feeling pretty evil by the time I finished chopping and blending. Those gals must have forgotten I was an armed woman. Armed but still somewhat sane. I kept my violent tendencies in check & drank my damned juice, but...

This is the look I gave those bitches:

Yeah.

Damnit. Can't smoke, don't want to take up drinking & everything else is either illegal or should be...

This weekend, I'm having a Lucky Wishbone hamburger!

Peace

--Free

Help me! I need this recipe, people...

I am hoping that somebody out there has a recipe for something that my mother called "hoecake." Mama was from Texas & she told me that her mother taught her the recipe. When I asked why it was called hoecake, Mama said she was told that slaves used to make up the dough and cook them on a hoe held near a fire. Oh. Okay.

This was a skillet-fried doughy thing that my mother would serve for breakfast with syrup, or for dinner with smothered potatoes and onions. Let me tell you something. This was my favorite thing to eat when I was a kid. Made me feel all warm and filled up.

I know that it was cheap to make because it was something we ate when money was thin (and we needed to be "filled up!"). I never got my mother's recipe for it & it's one of the few things that my sister did not learn to make.

So, if you have this recipe, PLEASE send it to me.

Peace
--Free

Update: Someone emailed me the recipe! (Thanks, Rae!) Yay. **singing** "I'ma have some hoecake, I'ma have some hoecake & you can't have none..." I'm playing. I'll share.