**CROSSPOST** A Beautiful Song

 Not much to say about this, but I wanted to share it. This is another one of those songs I hear that just reach all down in my soul and make me happy. I hope it makes someone feel better.

Peace

--Free

**EDIT** Dancing With Myself

(NOTE: I wrote this post piecemeal over a couple of days so please ignore any weirdness in the structure.)

I had to come back and add Rachel D'Arcy. I love her music but can never remember her name. I searched one of the songs I love and wanted to post it. Her voice. A bit like Amy Winehouse except more mature and sensual. She can really do her thing,

Remember when I mentioned posting some lists of songs I like? Well, this is a perfect time. When I was feeling like hell last week and in that deep blue funk, I tuned out of social media and plugged into my music.

There are so many songs I like, love, or am fascinated with that there's no way I can list even most of them. Since I live my life by my moods, I will list my music the same way. Here goes.

• Someday We'll All Be Free/A Song forYou (Donny Hathaway)
• Pata Pata/Mbube (Miriam Makeba)
• Black Violin (A Flat)
• Lovely Day (Bill Withers)
• Hysteria/Love Bites/Animal/Foolin (Def Leppard)
• Many Rivers to Cross (Jimmy Cliff)
• Higher Ground/I Wish/ Fingertips Pts1&2 (Stevie Wonder)
• Dancing in the Moonlight (Toploader)
• Brick House/Zoom (Commodores)
• Let's Work/Adore (Prince)
• Joe Satriani
• Didn't I (Darondo)
• Celia Cruz
• You & I/Hold Me (Emily King)
• Public Enemy
• Soul Flower remix (Pharcyde)
• Back It Up (Nellie Travis)
• The Emotions 
• James Taylor
• Graham Central Station
• I Just Love the Man (The Jones Girls)
• Underneath the Colors/ Tight/By My Side/Stairs (INXS)
• Free (Jaguar Wright ft. Freeway)
• Upside Down (Diana Ross)
• Life is Beautiful acoustic & live (Sixx A.M.)
• Slide (Slave)
• Creedence Clearwater Revival
• Natural High (Bloodstone)
• Shine (BarKays)
• Noreg (Sky Townsend)
• Turn Your Lights Down Low (Bob Marley)
• O.H.I.O. (Ohio Players)
• Wichita Lineman (Glen Campbell)
• Nobody But You (by both Dorothy Moore & Joss Stone)
• Wild Honey (Van Morrison w/Joss Stone)
• Crazy Love (Van Morrison)
• Still Life Blues (Elephant Micah)
• Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover (Sophie B. Hawkins)
• Black Girl (Lenny Kravitz)
• I Go to the Barn (Band of Horses)
• Aretha Franklin
• Ooh Child (The 5 Stairsteps)
• Do You Wanna Dance (Bette Midler)
• Simply Beautiful/L.O.V.E./Funny How Time Slips Away (Al Green)
• Does She Love That Man (Breathe)
• Everything is Everything (Lauryn Hill)
• Ordinary World/Come Undone (Duran Duran)
• Sweet Thing (Chaka Khan)
• What a Wonderful World (both by Louis Armstrong & Paolo Nutini)
• Amos Lee
• Diana Ross
• Tears Dry On Their Own/Love Is a Losing Game (Amy Winehouse)
• Crazy (Patsy Cline)
• Quiet (MILCK)
• Millie Jackson
• Knocking on Heaven's Door (both by Randy Crawford & GNR)
• John Mayer
• The Temptations
• Gladys Knight & The Pips
• In My Time/You Got What I Need/Wake Up (Teddy Pendergrass - and w/The Bluenotes)
• Holla If You Hear Me/Baby Don't Cry (2Pac)
• I'm Still Here (Mindy McCready)
• Fisherman's Blues (The Waterboys)
• Love Ballad (LTD)
• Sinnerman/Wild Is the Wind/Blackbird (Nina Simone)
• Once In A Lifetime (Talking Heads)
• Duke Ellington
• Quincy Jones
• Waterfalls/Swing My Thing Back Around/Am I the One (Beth Hart)
• I Can't Tell You Why (Eagles)
• Mmm/I Don't Want You Back (Laura Izibor)
• Stormy Monday (T-Bone Walker)
• Uncomfortable Truth/My Home (Nneka)
• Water (Jack Garratt)
• Baby Can I Hold You (Tracy Chapman)
• Elton John
• Jeff Buckley
• God Only Knows (Beach Boys)
• Alpha (Elvis)
• Keb Mo
• Hey You (Floetry)
• Arrested Development
• In the Mood (Glen Miller)
• Unseen Zones (Destiny Lab)
• No One Else On Earth (Wynona Judd)
• Love (Kendrick Lamar)
• James Brown
• Wild Horses/Shattered/Beast of Burden (Rolling Stones)
• Bonnie Raitt
• It's You that I Need (Enchantment)
• Love Me (The 1975)
• Rock the Mic (State Property)
• Everybody Needs Somebody (Solomon Burke)
• Sea of Tranquility (Kool & the Gang) & Send It On (D'Angelo)
• Brown Sugar (D'Angelo)
• The Sky Is Crying (Gary B. Coleman)
• Everybody Talks (Neon Trees)
• Stars (Simply Red)
• Hold Me/I Knew I Love You (Savage Garden)
• Yours acapella version (Shai)
• So Into You (Fabolous)
• True (Spandau Ballet)
• Smile (Ural Thomas and the Pain)
• Creep/Waterfalls (TLC)
• Madness (Muse)
• Sleepwalk (Santo and Johnny)
• Motown music (esp Marvin Gaye)
• Some jazz
• Some country
• Some folk

You know what? This list is SO incomplete. I just kept this post open for a couple days and would come over and add to the list as songs popped into my head. Every time I thought I was done, I would think of another song. I'm going to just stop now before I drive myself bonkers.

And this doesn't even represent some other genres. I have so many gospel and Christian favorites that I would never be able to start listing them. The top faves include songs by Big Daddy Weave, Third Day, the Georgia & Mississippi Mass Choirs, and James Cleveland. I will do another post soon to list some of the Christian/Gospel songs.

 I wouldn't be able to do a good job of listing classical music because I only know the songs I like by ear. I do love stuff from musicals (like that beautiful song from Les Miserables "Bring Him Home" - but only as sung by the one dude with the huge voice that shakes my insides up). Man, I cried so hard the first time I heard that song. Maybe I should actually go see a musical. That would be something. Unless I ended up in a puddle of tears by the end. I think I'm way too emotional for hearing such glorious music in public.

Real quick before I sign off, I have to share how much I love Vapewild. I've been vaping on 21 Jump Treat ever since VW added it back to the lineup. Along with my juice order, I requested some of the famous Vapewild art. Guess what? I not only got the art subject I requested, but I also LOVE it. So freaking cute. You can probably guess what I requested. It was a toss-up between an orchid and... my grown gal crush:.

Vapewild art

I was having a really crappy day when the order arrived. Then I saw the drawing and - boom - instant smile. I'm such a kid at heart. By the way, I think that the artist makes him look more John Wick-ish than sweet Keanu but I still love it. The piece sits right next to where I do all my blogging and writing,

Peace

--Free

So Very Vain & Ashamed

I would like to think that I outgrew being overly vain once I matured past my 30's. I'd also like to think that I am very "comfortable in my skin". I'd also like to sprout wings at will.

Most people probably are comfortable with themselves. I mean, at least those people who don't photoshop the hell out of their online photos. I was never comfortable with my personality but I was comfortable with my appearance. What I have recently figured out is that most people are comfortable with their appearance depending on their appearance. Let me tell you what will test that comfort level: any change in appearance.

When I got sick and gained weight, I adjusted. I made it work. I dealt with it. When I could no longer wear heels, I dealt with it. I dealt with it resentfully but, hey, I did deal. When I lost my hair the first time, I dealt with it. I cut it off and worked the hell out of a short 'do. But there are limits.

I broke a tooth a few years back. A front tooth because of course. I had to get a crown and I went to a cheap and mediocre dental clinic. And, oh damn it, what a horrible job they did. That was fine because you know what? That's life and, oh well. I dealt with it. Like a boss. Then, about a month after I got the crown, my front teeth began forming a gap. So I now have a gap.

And mine is not cute like this one

The gap didn't bother me until I saw someone I had not seen in a long time - since, you know, during my pre-gap life. The first thing she said after we did all the look-at-you b.s was "Girl, what happened to your pretty smile?" Yeah, she said that out loud.

Okay. Since then, I have not dealt well with this gap. I almost never smile anymore. And don't forget, I have the whole resting bit*h face syndrome. I always walked around grinning like a maniac because my non-smiling face was mean. Now, I don't care. The only times I show these teeth is when I get so tickled I can't help myself or when I momentarily forget about this damn gap.

So the next time I criticize someone for photo-lying with some airbrushing, please remind me not to be such a hypocritical ass.

Peace
--Free 

Finding Joy

Last week was a rough one. The weekend was worse. I was dealing with some fatigue and a vague kind of apathy. The weather didn't help. The weather here has been off-and-on gloomy with teasings of sunshine. Weather can be my friend or my enemy. And I am sometimes my own bad medicine. Most people fight dark moods with good company. Me, I duck out of invites. I don't like pretending that I'm okay when I'm not - at least not any more than I have to just to make people not worry. So I usually only socialize when I feel sociable.

I spent Easter alone and just kind of meditating on the season's message that Jesus died and rose. He did both - going into the grave and coming out - for us and maybe his other gift was teaching us how - with his love - to rise up out of our emotional graves.  By the time I went to bed last night, I was thinking about how we, human and flawed, have to regenerate from things that kill little pieces of us every day.

Some people don't heal from all that hurts their feelings. Some people just put up walls and won't let the hurt get too close. I heal with laughter and music and imagination. So this past week when I was tempted to stay hidden away in my tomb of despair, I thought about God's love for me and I was able to rise out of the nice, cool, dangerous darkness.

source:
https://twitter.com/letsdefeat

My laughter comes from small things. I'm that person who breaks out into giggles while grocery shopping because I remembered something that happened ten years ago. Last night, I was listening to a podcast when one host misspoke about a location and then said that he was no "geographist". His co-host teased that he was also obviously a not "wordist". I had to pause the podcast for at least five minutes while I laughed.  Yeah, you had to be there. Ba dum bump.

Music is my other balm. My latest song obsession came about while I was watching that show Lucifer (Yeah, I'll address that in a moment.) The song is "Restless" by a band called Cold War Kids. Since I don't listen much to the radio, I find new music via TV shows or movies. Let's give a shout out to the Shazam app right now. It's on my home screen with other Most Used icons right next to the bank app that I check to keep myself from going to jail over bounced checks.

Anyway, I love this song so much. Anyone who's read my blog more than 20 times knows how often I mishear lyrics. I don't usually even pay attention to lyrics and just let the music take me where it's going.
This time though, for some reason, the lyrics grabbed me. The melody (arrangement?) is also beautiful. Do check out this band and show support.

What humor and music can't heal in me, love and imagination can. Love's currently in hiding - or maybe even in witness protection - so I had to lose myself in my imagination. Imagination is tricky though so I have to be careful. I might start out headed toward a mirage of paradise and end up in places darker than my reality. Usually, I can get myself to a place of peace just by imagining what that place might look like.

At any rate, I was able to pull myself back into some kind of balance. Today, I decided to skip this weeks methotrexate injection. I want to feel good to enjoy this moment of not being entombed.

As for the show Lucifer, I realize that a lot of Christians were in protest when it premiered. I never bothered to watch it just because I was in my 5-year period of refusing to own a television. When I noticed a couple of weeks ago that it was on Netflix, I put it in my queue and forgot about it for a few days. After a little bit of debate with myself, I decided to watch the show. Here's the thing, I'm strong enough in my beliefs that a silly TV show is not going to shake my faith. I live in a world that is a documentary of evil. I read the news and observe people every day. If that hasn't turned me away from the cross, I don't know what can.

The show is entertaining. I mean, it's mainly about the Devil in existential crisis because of issues we humans deal with on a daily basis. The bad theology (which seems to blend Biblical teachings with that of Greek and Marvel Universe mythology) could be misleading to someone weak and not curious enough to search further. For me, it's just a show made up of fictional characters loosely based on real people. I can handle that.

**I walked away from the keyboard for a minute and almost forgot what this post was about because I have the attention span of a gnat. Forgive me if the rest of the post is a little off kilter.**

 I just wanted to get across that we have to find ways to heal ourselves and hang on to live for another moment. Rinse and repeat. That's all life is - just making it from moment to moment and breath to breath. And, like I said, I think that the healing - in our hearts and imagination or through little joys - is all a gift from God.

I want to include another song that I always find soothing. This one has pulled me through some seriously dark moments.

Ironically, Lucifer -or, as I call him post-fall, Satan - was the chief musician. So music can soothe or damage. Remember that David played the harp for Saul.


Peace
--Free

In Writing Mode

There was a time when I did this on a regular basis. It's been a while. I'm going to share some music. I apparently cannot clean the house or cook without listening to music. I most definitely cannot write without music playing.

Since I rarely listen to a radio station, I discover most of the music I like from TV or movie soundtracks - or I rediscover music from my past. These last few weeks, I've been watching "Castle Rock" (interesting and odd) and "This Is Us" (love it!) and both use great music. When my sarc-brain settled down enough for me to start back writing this week, I decided on some of the tracks I'm posting here. Some are new, some are old, all are lovely.

By the way, these are all YouTube videos so who knows how long they will be available. If you like some of the songs, support an artist and buy some of their work. If you can't find them, make sure to see if they have a paywall you can support. We should always support talent and creativity.

I have to stop procrastinating now and.... bye

Peace
--Free

Weekend Music/Packing and Praying

I'm getting a little overwhelmed with the packing. I wish it would rain like it did yesterday.

This is the way I feel right now - not good, not bad, not happy, not sad. Sort of sleepwalking through what I need to get done.

Peace
--Free

Dark Things & Blind Hearts

I think I posted something about the Illuminati once in recent memory. It's not something I run around talking about a whole lot. When I saw this video the other day, though, I had to come and post it here.

Now, a lot of what you hear online is overblown conjecture. A lot of what you can hear and read online isn't usually backed up with anything other than someone's theories. This video caught my interest because, even though I obviously have some different religious belief's than the producers, I couldn't really dispute anything they were saying. That's all because they were careful to back up what they had to say. Often when they pointed out someone as being involved in this mess, they let that person show that - either through some interview, their lyrics, or photos and videos. (I thought of some people that they didn't even mention because I thought back to things I had noticed without knowing what I was looking at.)

Here's the thing: everyone can have one of two opinions about this. Some people will believe this happens and some people will write it off as nonsense. Because I believe in God and the Bible, I believe that there are people and forces at work in opposition to God and the Bible. So there.

None of this matters to anyone who has made up their minds in whichever direction they choose. It matters to people who haven't made a choice - or didn't even realize there was a choice to be made. Ignorance is not really bliss when it can hurt you.

Finally, I know that a lot of people who do believe that such dark things exist often want to hate those caught up in the darkness. I think that those people need our prayers. I think that one who is living with hope of an eternal existence in the light should not wish for anyone to be left out.

Today, we all get so distracted by our earthly problems that we forget to worry about our eternal souls. That's such a human mistake to make, and we all need to pray for each other to avoid it.

That's all I'm going to say on the subject for now.

Peace
--Free

That Illuminati Thing

I haven't posted on many social topics lately, but because of my love for music, I wanted to talk about this subject.

I'm always hearing about how the Illuminati is controlling the music business. Some of the talk makes sense and comes from people who spread their message with a loving heart. In some cases, the messenger's own hate makes it hard to hear any truth they might be speaking. (And I do believe there is some truth in there.) Sometimes, I run across things that I find interesting but confusing. I save those to look at later...

I do believe that for every good thing God gave us, Satan (the Devil, Lucifer, whatever you call him) has found a way to pervert it. And, honestly, I do know that many people will do anything for money, recognition, fame (infamy), etc. 

Sometimes, we find it hard to believe other people are capable of doing the things that we aren't capable of. Just read the news and you will lose your doubts on that one. (I read a story the other day about a man murdering a mother first, then killing her toddler. The report said that, at the time, the child was crying and clinging onto the killer's leg out of fear and confusion.) 

While some prefer to laugh off ideas of God (and Satan), that may be the biggest part of the battle. Charles Baudelaire said that "the finest trick of the devil is to persuade you that he does not exist". (It sounded cooler when Verbal Kint said it in "The Usual Suspects".)

Right this moment, there are a lot of you thinking that I sound like a big bag of crazy (thank you, Dr. Cox) just for believing in God and believing that Satan exists. I don't really care. Being "crazy" is safer than succumbing to bullies or peer-pressure. #believethat

Maybe too much is being read into it when we see images like this:

Why? Just...why? (source)

It does sound a little crazy to think that people are taking oaths to something (or someone) dark and evil in exchange for material wealth. It sounds crazy, but I've got to wonder when I see people who supposedly did (or did not) admit to this deal. I've seen the videos of  Katy Perry, in and out of sync; Bob Dylan, either joking or not, though I can't imagine joking about such a thing; and I've heard about Robert Johnson (the "father" of rock and roll). 

In the comments section of one of those videos, someone mentions that the artist might be speaking metaphorically. Maybe so. I myself won't even joke or speak in any way about selling my soul. One commenter wondered why anyone would care about someone else and their soul. I don't know about them, but I care the same way I wouldn't want to stand and just watch someone throw themselves off a tall building. But that's just me.

Sometimes, I think that people are just afraid to believe in anyone (or One) other than themselves. Does it matter that you'd rather not believe that fire is hot and water is wet?

Peace

--Free

***REVIEW*** of "Never Tear Us Apart"

I love INXS. The original lineup is the only one I've ever known - other than hearing "Don't Change" done by five of the original men. In my opinion, they are one of the greatest bands ever - musically, lyrically and live. In my youth, I had crushes on every one of the guys (especially Michael Hutchence) and I'm so glad that the five are still around.

Okay. Now that you know what a fan I am, let's talk about the movie, "Never Tear Us Apart". I'm going to be careful not to spoil it for those who haven't seen the show yet.

I have seen the first part and, yes, it's good. Is it perfect? Nope. Nothing could be, other than a documentary of the guys using footage of every high and low of their careers. The first part of the film doesn't have a lot of surprises for any die-hard fan. I mean, come on, we hardcore fans devoured everything about those guys as it was happening. Still, I like what the movie does with the music.

Here is where I might get in trouble with some fans, but I'm going to say it: I don't think that Luke Arnold looks all that much like Hutchence. He's attractive, yes, but what Hutchence had made him rare. Arnold does a great job of capturing the mannerisms and singing voice. At least, it's my understanding that he does some of the singing. He doesn't have Hutchence's speaking voice down. That was another rare,sexy thing about the man. The actor who looks most like the character he represents is Andrew Ryan (playing Andrew Farriss). Both guys are sweetly cute. (Yeah, Andrew Farris was actually my first crush in the band. He's still a cutie. ~sigh~ Kirk Pengilly was second, then Michael.)

I digress.

It was nice to see the flashbacks in the movie. The Farris's seem to have had a great family. Watching the boys interact with their folks, I thought of my own Southern upbringing. Nice. The young hotness playing a young Hutchence looks a lot like, well, a young Hutchence. That kid is going to have the girls chasing him, trust that.

No matter what you think of the casting, this is a movie that any INXS fan is going to like. For me, it brought back a lot of good memories - of the band and of my own life then. Things were just so good.

Finally, I have to say that I love Aussie TV. They aren't all hung up on nudity or language issues. As an American, I'm not used to such openess on 'regular' television. When the first boob flashed, I almost spit orange juice. When the black dildo was shown, I closed my blinds because I was afraid the neighbors would think I was watching porn. That kind of honesty really let the story be told. I wonder now if that's why the few Aussies I know are so happy. They don't have our standard hangups about such things.

I can't wait to see the next part of the movie. Actually, I'm a little apprehensive. Of course, I know how the story ends, but that's just it. I remember how I felt when I heard about Hutchence dying. I was affected more than seemed normal. After all, I had never met the man. Talk about the power f music! While the first half of the movie made me smile because of the memories (and the fan-affection I still have for those guys), the second half just might make me sad all over again.

Peace
--Free

Mood Music and Poetry

No matter what I'm feeling, I can usually find something something breathed out by another creative soul to catch my mood. Sometimes, that's a comforting thought - like when I realize that almost everything I feel (from physical desire to blind utter despair) is covered in the poetry of the Bible. Sometimes, it's absolutely chilling to know that my deepest fears and worst thoughts are represented by some artistic person in this world.

As a wanna-be novelist myself, anyone else's creative expression makes me feel that I am in unique company. I can't sing, but I hear songs and think, "Yes! That's just what it feels like." ("It" might be pain or worry or joy or madness.)

Though I love music, I often unintentionally re-write song lyrics as I sing them loudly (and badly, badly, badly) while dancing around my apartment. I try not to sing as loudly while I'm driving, or anywhere around the very young or very elderly for fear of causing internal organ trauma.

Before I get too far off subject, here are some songs and poems that fit certain moods. I hope you like them:

If you are sad

• x..... A Little Sadness (Auphy Zophy) love this!
• "Mmm" (Laura Izibor) not really a sad song, but comforting.
• "Sad Violin" (Thao Nguyen Xanh) beautiful, not depressing.
• "The Wolves" (Bon Iver) 
• "Sitting On the Dock of the Bay" (Otis Redding)
• "In the Upper Room" (Mahalia Jackson) comforting & hopeful
• Words from Psalm 56:8 always move me: Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book?

If you are in love, out of love or just confused

• Almost anything by D'Angelo, Melody Gardot, Ella Fitzgerald
• The Staple Singers and Marvin, of course. Just stay out of trouble.
• "To Be in Love" (Gwendolyn Brooks) my very favorite
• The Bible's Song of Solomon has a verse so beautiful, it might make you weep.
• This poem by Langston Hughes is reported as his first. It's another favorite poem.

Just because I loves you-

That's de reason why

My soul is full of color

Like de wings of a butterfly

Just because I loves you

That's de reason why

My heart's a fluttering aspen leaf

When you pass by (Hughes 28)

If you need to dance or do anything else to work off stress

• Beth Hart just kills it. She's so badass & I love her work. Get her if you need to move, pretend you can move or if you feel love.
• Go oldies with The Temps, Lionel, or LTD
• Go new with whoever you want to. I almost gave myself whiplash trying, so I'll stop here.

Getting back to mishearing lyrics, here's a fun fact: There is a name for mishearing/misquoting lyrics - "Mondegreen". Interesting...

More Interesting: The origin of the word.

Most Interesting: The one mondegreen I'm not guilty of is the funniest one ever. ("Desperado, you've been outright offensive, for so long now" (Real lyric: "You've been out riding fences," The Eagles.)

"In Da Club" (by 50 'Fitty' Cent) is one of my favorite songs to have a dancing fit to. My family will never, ever let me forget that I always heard the words as "We gonna slip a tardy" instead of, "We're gonna sip Bacardi." Think that's bad? This next line puts me in a league of my own: I hear "toes down, be's up" instead of "hoes down, G's up." (I just thought he was doing the country grammar thing!) That's what happens when someone my age listens to music way out of generation. (I still like my 'version' best.)

Peace
--Free

Theme Music. Life Music.

Katt Williams suggested it. Ally McBeal did it. Me too.

I decided I needed some theme music for my life. A soundtrack, I guess.

What would be your theme song if you could have just one tune to represent you? If you could pick more than one song - say, 10 or 12 - would they all be from one time period or genre?

The idea of having hearing music playing in my head when I walk into a roomful of strangers - or enemies - or while I am writing... It's just such a cool idea. And it wasn't Katt Williams or Ally McBeal who first put the idea out there in public. When I started this blog, I met (online) another blogger who talked about a life soundtracks.  This woman was way ahead of the times and she is way more than a blogger, but this is where I discovered her.

So the idea has been there. Katt put humor (and truth) to it.

Once I saw that, I realized I'd been doing this all my life! I've always been like Rose. C'mon, you know Rose, don't you? Best comic strip ever.* 

Anyway, I am usually cooled out like "regular" Rose until I need to bring out my inner "biker chick", then I'm all

image by Don Wimmer

Yeah. Like that.

The thing is, one song is not enough to cover my many moods, oddities and whims. For that, I probably could put together a multi-disc pack. But, if limited to just one song, it would be "Shine" by the Bar Kays,

 but I have music of all kinds running through my head all the time. It must be something with me and the songs about inner light. INXS's "Shine Like it Does" is my back-up theme song. The words are so beautiful. The reminders do me good.

By the way, when I told someone about my theme music, they (of course) pointed out that I only mentioned secular songs. Well, guess what? I don't think that any one genre of music has God locked down. Matter of fact, the "Shine Like it Does" lyrics are all about something positive and eternal. So, you can just miss me with that criticism. I'd get all on my soapbox about "Shine" too, but I can't find the lyrics anywhere online. (And I'm bad with lyrics. To this day, my family starts snickering when I try to sing along with "In Da Club" by 50 Cent.)

Not to appease anyone, but I do have my one gospel song that I will really lean on when I'm just worn down.

Like I said, it's about being reminded.

Peace
--Free

*For more Rose, check this out.

My Mama's Music

When I was watching "Only the Strong Survive" on Netflix the other night, something disturbed me a little. (No. It disturbed me a lot.) My mother and father loved so much of the music the film featured. When I actually paid attention to the lyrics of "The Night Time is the Right Time" and "Midnight Hour," I wanted to wash my brain.

Parts of "Right Time" made me smile with the memories of the good, sweet love my parents had for each other (only it was Mama who cried when my Daddy passed away). I can remember my parents sharing a smile or glance while listening to their favorites songs. But there were parts of the song that was just too much for me.

When I come home, baby, now
I wanna be with the one I love, now
You know what I'm thinking of.

Yeah. I know, and I wish I didn't.

 ~washing my brain, washing my brain~

It gets worse with "Midnight Hour":

I'm gonna wait til the midnight hour
That's when my love comes tumbling down
I'm gonna wait til the midnight hour
When there's no one else around
I'm gonna take you girl and hold you
And do all the things I told you in the midnight hour
Yes I am, yes I am
One more thing I just wanna say right here

You've said quite enough, Mister Pickett.

Yeah. So. I'm going to lay off the old love songs for a while. I just can't take thinking of my parents in that way. Grown ass woman that I am, I want to think that I was the product of something very mysterious and platonic. That's kind of hard to do when I have 5 siblings.

Oh, mommy...

#I'mNEVERGoingToGrowUp

Peace
--Free

Music That Creeps, Music That Soars

I love music. Jazz, Rock, Rhythm and Blues, Rhythm, Blues, Orchestral, Gospel, Techno, Funk, Rap. The only kind of music I don't like is any that leaves me not feeling moved in a good way.

If I'm sad, I want to hear something that will make me want to dance (or that gives me release to cry). When I'm happy, I want to hear something loud with a thumping bass or something that I can sing to. Sometimes, I just need to cool out. I like Etta, Smokey or Otis for moods like that. And, though my body is well past making babies, I still love baby-making music. Marvin, INXS, Sade, Mint Condition.

When I was younger, I discovered music via my parents' record collections or from being that idolizing little sister who always hung out with the older kids. As I got older, I laughed, cried, made love and danced to the same music my friends lived their lives to. When I got wiser, I started listening to whatever made me feel like living my own life. That's when I went back in time for Big Band, Swing, Classical and Gospel music. A couple of years ago, I got way into Reggae.

These days, I try to surprise my ears. That's hard to do because only the crappiest, trendiest sounds get big play - on the radio and in the lounges and clubs. Okay, it's not all crappy, but so little of "popular" music deserves its popularity. Like fashion and attitudes, music has gone trendy and clone-ish. Anybody singing or playing outside the twerk-and-jerk box is being ignored.

I'm so glad for YouTube. Sometimes, I just scroll through the offerings, just randomly listening to music (because I'm not really into the visuals). That's how I lucked up on Nneka and rediscovered Nina Simone and Steely Dan. I'm glad for the folks in my online social circles who post links to good music. This is how I discovered (years late) Jeff Buckley and The Waterboys. From paying attention to music from TV shows, I fell in love with Eva Cassidy, Band of Horses and M83.

Music has a deep effect on people.I think this is why there are groupies who will get in line to sleep with someone like Mick Jagger even though he seems like a horrible, arrogant toad of a person. I know that I fell for the worst man in the world (for me) partly because he is a talented musician. A person I know well married a woman simply because she can sing. When someone once asked why he, being such a ladies man, had married such a plain woman, his response was crude but true: "Whenever I think about the other women I could have married, I just close my eyes and tell her to sing for me." Jackass.

One song I recently discovered gives me the creeps every time I hear it. It's from the show "Damages."

Ewww.... Makes me want to take a shower in holy water.

On the other hand, there's this song. I feel I need to listen to it after hearing that creepy song. It puts me in such a mood of worship even though I have no idea what the lyrics are.

Music. It's strong stuff.

Peace
--Free

Unlikely Crushes

Since we are all talking about crushes on both G+ and my new social hangout, Glipho, let me talk about crushes that might surprise you. Why not? I've talked to death about obvious crushes I have. (And, yes, this is something of a filler post. I haven't been keeping up the blog like I should, so...)

Number One: Katt Williams.

This was tough for me to admit. Not less than a year ago, I was trash-talking this man like I knew him and he owed me money. All I'd ever heard about him was so negative. I actually believed he was a pimp, so that was a big strike out. When I did see bits and pieces of his comedy shows, I heard three things that turned me off: weed, "ni**ers" and impolite names for female anatomy. I didn't even hear the jokes.

I'm not sure at which point it was that I listened to Katt Williams tell a joke all the way through to the punchline. I do remember when I heard about his love for children. That was a few months back when I started hearing about all the supposed troubles he was (is) going through. Out of that, I remember hearing more of his concern for his children. What made me fall head over heels into my crush on him was when I found out that he has eight children - seven of them adopted. Wow. Now that's man that makes my heart flutter. Y'all know how I am about smart being the new sexy, well manning up is the new swagger.

I have to admit that even when I am (now) listening to his comedy routines, I cringe a little at the language, but I am cringing and laughing. I laughed so hard one time that I literally almost fell over off the stool I was sitting on.

So, Katt Williams tops the list, for being smart, kind, a family man and funny. I sure hope he can hold up through all the trouble he's said to be dealing with. As my mother used to say: Satan gets busy sometimes.

Number Two: Michael Croslin

Yes, I know, I know. You probably have not heard of him. I only know because I looked him up when I learned that it was he who invented computerized devices for monitoring pulse and blood pressure. I have a gratitude (and hotness) for the science-minded who have made life better for the rest of us. It's the whole "smart/sexy" thing again. Even if Croslin (born before my mother) is that much older, I have to crush a bit.

(By the way, if anyone has more info, I'd appreciate some links. I found very little online. Surprise, surprise. I guess if I wanted a category with a million references, I should have been looking up killers or rapists instead of scientists and inventors. ~shrug~)

Number Three: Tito Puente

What can I say? He had rhythm and style and an what I call "elder suave." Look at him. Still had it.



Just love any man who can move and/or make others want to move.

Peace
--Free

I'm a Sixties, Seventies and Eighties Girl!

I'm not too crazy about much music from the Nineties and the Aughts, but, boy, I had a little flashback fun tonight...

I didn't make it to the gym, but I had a good workout dancing to some old faves and their remixes...

Here's an M.J. video that made me remember why he should have called himself the King of Dance...







Peace
--Free

"Don't Hurt Yourself!"

Sometimes I can't believe how much of my "bidness" I put on this blog... At least this time, I'm embarrassing myself in the hopes I will save someone else from getting hurt.

As you know, I am on a mission to be looking fine this summer. I have changed the way I eat, I walk outside as much as possible, and I have collected a small cache of exercise equipment. I have even gone to the gym to work out - even though I hate being around all those beautiful chicks in their matching workout gear. It's like being the sweaty female with no wings in a roomful of Victoria's Secret angels. Agony, inside and out.

The last couple of weeks, the weather has been too  horrible for walking outside. We've had skating rinks for residential streets.  Fine. So I've been working out extra hard at home. Instead of my 30-40 minute walk around the neighborhood, I do an hour indoors. Boring. Unless I have really good music.

I've been careful when listening to my music while walking in the outdoors. I was grooving to some Beth Hart the other week and almost got mowed down by a woman who got her licence when the Model-T came out. I didn't hear anything until I felt the wind of her side mirror fanning my side. Crazy. I should be hell-bound for the names I thought of calling that poor woman.

You'd think I'd be safe enough cranking up the music when I'm doing my walking indoors, right? Well, that depends.

This is what I was listening to yesterday:

Now, is that not the perfect jam to walk to? The beat is just right for a good step, right? And it goes on forever and an hour so you can really get your heart pumping. It's the best music to walk to.

Unless it gets good to you.

It got good to me and I almost walked my behind right off the treadmill.

The thing about that song is, you are marching along just fine until you decide to dance. Treadmills are not made for dancing. I'm lucky I didn't break my neck.

No more Frankie B and Maze for me. At least not while on a treadmill. Think I'm going to learn to walk to some opera or Big Band music. I don't want to break my thang  of mine before I get to swang it this summer...

Peace
--Free

**MUSIC** Beth Hart

Where the heck has this singer been all my life? This lady can blow. She's a little bit of Etta, a little  bit of Joplin. Got the soul of Aretha and the stage presence of Michael Hutchence - appropriate since her band has the stealth of INXS.

If you haven't been, you need to be checking her out...

I strictly hetero, but if she was a guy, she'd be my new Marvin Gaye, Michael Hutchence or Otis Redding.

Peace
--Free

Beautiful Discoveries

One thing I absolutely LOVE about the Google Plus community is the sharing. And now I am going to share with you some new music and art I was introduced to this morning. Hope you like it.

+Susan Lewis brightened up my entire morning when she posted this:

Sayaka Ganz @ sayakaganz.com

You know I just had to go over and check out the artist's site. Wow. Fell in love with almost every single thing there... Since I can't afford the pieces, I can show support by sending you over there.

Then my G+ Sophie B. Hawkins friend (listen to her biggest hit and the light-bulb will go off) +David Renaud shared music by a group that I have now also fallen in love with. I like the song that David shared (Fisherman's Blues), but I adore this one. Had YouTube worn out with it while I did my step-board workout.

Last, but never least, is not new to me, but I was reminded by +Spencer Bryant's profile. If you watch a lot of retro TV - or are older than, say, 40, you probably know the show "Good Times." You might not know the artist behind the work ("Sugar Shack") shown during the credits.

erniebarnes.com

Ernie Barnes 1938 - 2009 R.I.P.

We need to show support for artists and musicians who bless us with their talents. These guys all highlight what is beautiful about life.

Peace

--Free

A Flash of Feel Good (#Quickie)

Day 44 of my smoke-free lifestyle. Feels good. This is what my insomniac self is listening to (at 4:14 a.m.):

Peace
--Free

Put Your Own Jam On It, Girl

This is probably one of the cutest videos ever.

To set the scene: it's a couple days before Christmas, me and the roomie are broke, but feeling just glad to be alive. We've finished getting the two gifts we can afford for family & friends and we are going to my fam's for dinner. Just as the roomie is about to turn off the car, one of her favorite songs comes on.

We are stupid, but we manage to cope.

Yeah. This is how we handle life and its ups and downs.

Peace
--Free